By: Sarah Fader
Updated September 22, 2021
Medically Reviewed By: Lauren Guilbeault
What is family systems therapy? Family systems therapy is the form of psychotherapy that supports people in resolving conflicts with their family or problems that exist within the family unit. Members of the family contribute to whether the family is functioning in a healthy way. It is based on Murray Bowen's theory that was developed in the mid-1950s. According to Bowen, a person cannot be separated from their relationships.
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Murray Bowen
Bowen family systems theory views the family as an emotional unit. The members of the group are interdependent with one another. The nature of family therapy is that the members have deep-rooted emotional bonds. When you feel disconnected from your family, it's likely due to trauma. Many times people within the family unit seek approval and validation from one another. When those aren't received, it can cause lasting damage, particularly when children are involved.
Murray Bowen And His Family Systems Theory
There are
eight interlocking concepts within family systems theory. There's a family systems theory that there's an emotional system that's evolved over billions of years, and the nervous system affects people and how they interact with each other.
The eight concepts are:
Triangles
A triangle is a three-person dynamic within family systems. A person's behavior within the family triangle indicates their need to sustain attachments to other members of the family.
Differentiation of self
We develop relationships within our family as children and into adolescence that determine parts of our identity. Once a person finds their sense of self, it's rare that it changes.
Nuclear family emotional process
This family emotional process is based on four relationship patterns that most influence family structures and family emotional relationships. These are marital conflict, dysfunction in one spouse, impairment of one or more children, and family emotional distance.
Marital conflict
When there's conflict in the family, it can be between two partners. Each member of the family is fixated on the flaws of the other to control the family issues.
Dysfunction in one spouse
One partner in the family puts pressure on the other to behave a particular way. Tension rises in the household, and there is a level of dysfunction between the couple and the family.
Impairment of one or more children
Parents excessively worry about one child in the family and their wellbeing. This creates a divide in the family. The child may be acting out at school, home, or both. They might idealize the child or hold a negative view of them, depending on the circumstances at hand. Whatever the case may be, this child has more immediate needs than their siblings and takes the parent's attention away from the other children, which causes conflict and imbalance in the family.
Emotional distance
Members of the family distance themselves from one another to lessen the intensity of the conflict. It seems like it could benefit the family as a whole, but in reality, it causes more anxiety in the family as the problems are not being addressed.
Family projection process
The family projection process is the process where parents hand down their emotional problems to their children. It has three steps:
- The family focuses their attention on their children, worrying that there's something wrong with them.
- The family observes a child's behavior and concludes that their fear is justified; there's something wrong.
- The family begins to act like there's something wrong with their child. They treat the child as if there's a problem with them.
Multigenerational transmission process
This family process describes the tiny differences in levels of differentiation between parents and children over several generations. There are particular differences in differentiation among all the members of a family over the years.
Emotional cutoff
Emotional cutoff is a process where people in the family struggle to cope with being alienated from one another. There are emotional problems when a child cuts off contact with their parent (for example). It could occur when two siblings are estranged from each other. The concept describes when people in the family are cut off from each other, whether emotionally or physically.
Sibling position
Bowen's family systems theory incorporates psychologist Walter Toman's methods. Toman talks about sibling position in the family and how it impacts each member. Depending on the position of each sibling, you will see different personality types. For example, older children tend to be leaders, and younger ones tend to be followers.
Societal Emotional Process
The concept of the societal emotional process shows how society impacts family systems and emotional lives. Bowen treated families who had children within the criminal justice system, and he began to notice how this affected the unit.
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Interdependence
Interconnectedness is what makes families interdependent, and emotional interdependence is what helps families stay connected. Members of the family want to feel a sense of togetherness, which is what interconnectedness brings. When there is disconnection or a lack of the members of the family working together, it can lead to problems within the unit. Sometimes family members become overly anxious, and their anxiety can spread to other members of the group.
When many of the family members are overwhelmed, the family isn't functioning optimally, and the environment can feel out of control. One person might feel like they have to solve the problems within the family, while another person is a scapegoat for those issues. Family dynamics are involved, which is why the family systems theory was developed
When Family Systems Therapy Is Used
Sometimes, people develop mental health issues early in life and can benefit from family systems therapy at any point in time. It can be helpful for those with mental health problems such as anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or eating disorders. It can help people cope with disabilities or help to support a family member with a disability, whether the condition is a mental or physical health diagnosis.
What To Expect
In family systems therapy, the entire family unit works together to solve problems that are happening between one or more family members. The family must work together as a team. Each family member will discuss the issues occurring within the family unit and will express how those issues are affecting them. Together, the family explores and resolves the problems they've been dealing with. In family systems therapy, you might participate in role-playing exercises where you switch roles to see how other members of your family feel. The goal is to restore familial relationships and restore a healthy family system that functions well by helping each person to see a perspective different from their own.
Family Systems Therapy - Murray Bowen developed family systems therapy in the mid-1950s when he worked as a psychiatrist at the National Institute of Mental health. He observed family patterns and noticed that the personalities of different family members and their behaviors correlated to their birth order. For example, the oldest child in a family might act a particular way, and a younger child would most likely behave differently. To understand a family system, it needs to be viewed as a whole rather than observed in parts, so family systems theory and family system therapy rely on considering the entire family unit.
What To Look For In The Family Systems Therapist
It's important to find a licensed family systems therapist who is experienced. They must understand Bowen's family systems theory and family patterns, which include functional and dysfunctional patterns. They must understand power struggles, communication issues, and have experience treating families who experience these issues. The nature of family is that family members have a profound connection with one another emotionally, and the members of the family respect each other's thoughts and feelings.
Different people in a family will have different perceptions of how things are going, and a good therapist will be able to see what's happening from all sides in a non-biased fashion. There might be co-dependency within a family, but the goal is to be interdependent. Interdependence helps the family become cohesive and decreases tension. It might be anxiety-inducing to modify family dynamics, and it'll take time. You want to look for a therapist that'll be supportive throughout the process.
What Happens In Family Systems Therapy?
Here are some issues that can be addressed in family systems therapy:
- Individual conflict with members of the family
- Death
- Unemployment
- Romantic relationships
- Issues with children
- Divorce
- Mental health problems
- Substance abuse
- Conflict avoidance and resolution
Family therapists work with a variety of different issues. Family systems therapy helps to bring a family together. Here's an example of an exercise that can be used in family therapy to help the members of the unit express themselves. It's called the "Emotional Ball."
Emotional Ball
The “emotional ball” can give the family and the therapist insight into how each person is feeling at the moment. It's a simple exercise that can be used in family systems therapy. You take a beach ball, and you write different emotions on the ball: happy, sad, angry, lonely, etc. You toss the ball back and forth, and when a family member catches the ball, they describe a time when they felt that particular emotion. This helps everyone to gain insight into how everyone is feeling and, perhaps, why.
Who Benefits?
Family systems therapy is a great model that can help families of all kinds. Notably, the model can help families who are struggling with problems and unresolved conflicts. It's a great model for couples who can't seem to see eye to eye when they're parenting a child. Family systems therapy can also help with mental health problems such as anxiety, bipolar disorder, and depression. If one of the family members has a mental health problem, family systems therapy can help the other members to be supportive and also recognize their feelings and concerns. The entire family can benefit from going to family systems therapy. It gives every member a chance to speak their mind and feels supported.
Seeking Help
If you're looking to improve your relationship with your
family, it starts with you. Seeking
individual therapy to look at your mental health is an excellent way to gain insight into yourself and your
family issues. Online treatment is a safe space to speak, feel heard, and uncover and address any issues or concerns that you have. Search the network of therapists at
BetterHelp today, and find one who you feel comfortable with, and start working on you.
Online therapy is just as effective as in-person therapy, with 98% of users making significant progress, 94% preferring BetterHelp to traditional face-to-face therapy, and 100% rating it as convenient (as opposed to just 71%, 60%, and 80% of in-person therapy users, respectively). Continue reading below to find reviews of some of our board-certified therapists from people seeking help with their family dynamic.
BetterHelp Therapy Reviews
“I cannot say enough amazing things about Monique! I have never done therapy or counseling before and I am so happy and comfortable talking with her. She has helped me with the tools needed for stressful situations and family conflicts. I am so thankful for all of her help! Whether you’ve had therapy before or not I couldn’t think of a better person to talk to and receive help from.”
“I joined BetterHelp to deal with some family issues. My counselor Joshua helped me understand and assess my family dynamic and helped me learn how to cope and set healthy boundaries with them.”
Family Systems Therapy Conclusion
The family-focused approach, or family systems therapy, is a form of family therapy that tackles family issues. Family systems therapy is the idea that the actions of the family can affect certain members. If one family member has a mental health condition, the entire family should be looked at.
Further Reading About Therapy And Family Systems
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