Is There A Link Between ADHD And Lying? Exploring This Behavior

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder and form of neurodivergence that impacts children and adults. ADHD symptoms may include inattentiveness, impulsivity, and/or hyperactivity, which can interfere with school, work, daily functioning, and relationships. While lying isn’t a sign of ADHD as listed in the DSM, it can be possible for some ADHD symptoms (like impulsivity or forgetfulness) to lead a person to lie. Below is an overview of which signs of ADHD could lead to lying, how it may impact relationships, and how getting professional treatment for ADHD symptoms may help reduce this and other unwanted behaviors.

What is the connection between ADHD and lying?

In many cases, ADHD-related lying may stem from an attempt at masking rather than a character flaw or an intent to harm or manipulate. Masking is “when a person tries to hide their ADHD symptoms to blend in with the crowd and protect themselves from judgment.”

It may also be possible for a person to have another comorbid condition along with their ADHD that may involve lying. For example, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) may cause a person to lie to get what they want, as manipulation and lack of empathy are common NPD symptoms. Also note that lying may sometimes be a trauma response—for instance, if someone grew up in a household where their parent frequently blew up at them for telling the truth. An online therapist may help you uncover and address the underlying reasons for frequent lying.

ADHD symptoms that may lead to lying

When lying is linked to ADHD specifically, it might stem from or be a way to cope with various symptoms, like those listed below. It could also be a way to avoid disappointing others as a result of ADHD-related situations or an attempt to cope with the anxiety and pressure of other people's expectations.

Impulsivity

Imagine a situation where an individual is asked a question, and they face a choice: lie or tell the truth. For someone with ADHD who experiences impulsivity, they may blurt out a lie before they have the chance to consider its potential implications and make a thoughtful choice.

Time blindness

Time blindness, or “the inability to recognize when time has passed or to estimate how long something will take,” might make a person with ADHD lie for one of two reasons. In some cases, they may lie inadvertently because they genuinely don’t remember or lost track of the true answer to a question. In others, they may lie as a form of masking because time blindness made them miss an obligation or not complete a task, for example.

Forgetfulness and inattention 

Trouble with working memory and inattention symptoms may lead a person with ADHD to lie in order to avoid judgment, avoid hurting someone’s feelings, or maintain social connections. For example, imagine a friend saying, “Remember how I told you about that stressful situation I’m going through with my boss?” If the person with ADHD doesn’t remember or wasn’t able to pay attention during that conversation, they may lie to “cover for” the impacts of that symptom.

Rejection sensitivity and fear of criticism

Rejection sensitivity (RS) can be common in those with ADHD. It may occur due to a combination of neurological differences and past experiences of rejection, criticism, or judgment based on the person’s symptoms. A person with ADHD-related RS may lie to avoid criticism or rejection, or to try and cover up the pain of criticism and rejection that they feel. 

What types of lying can be associated with ADHD?

Like all individuals, people with ADHD may lie for various reasons and to varying degrees. When a person lies as a result of their ADHD symptoms, however, the lie will often take one of these forms:

• Impulsive lying. While individuals without ADHD may filter out a lie before saying it, individuals with ADHD may struggle to do so because of trouble with impulsivity and emotional regulation.
• Forgetful lying. In some cases, a person with ADHD may lie due to forgetfulness symptoms. For example, a person may set a meeting time or promise to accomplish a task, but forget to follow through because of this symptom. 
• Avoidant lying. Especially in children with ADHD, lying may sometimes be a coping mechanism to avoid punishment or disappointment from others. 

Rather than being a symptom of ADHD, these types of lies are often the result of situations that a person is in due to ADHD symptoms. 

Seeking professional support when frequent lying becomes a pattern

Constant lying may sometimes be a symptom of another condition (like a personality disorder) or a trauma response, which could significantly interfere with daily functioning if not addressed. Working with a mental health professional in such cases may be helpful.

How lying can affect trust in relationships

Even when lying occurs inadvertently or as a form of masking, it may have the potential to negatively affect interpersonal relationships. A colleague or loved one that a person with ADHD lied to may feel betrayed, confused, hurt, or like they can’t trust the person, even if the lie stemmed from their ADHD symptoms. 

Particularly if the lies are frequent, misunderstandings may escalate into conflict, and it might be hard for partners, colleagues, or friends to get back on the same page. Lying may also negatively impact the self-esteem of the person doing it if feelings of guilt become internalized, which could negatively affect mental well-being.

Tips for responding to ADHD-related lying behaviors

If you’ve noticed or learned that loved ones with ADHD lie in an attempt to mask or compensate for their symptoms, it may help to act with compassion and patience. A few strategies include:

• Using calm, non-shaming responses. When you respond differently to an ADHD-related lie (with calm rather than anger or accusation), you may help the person feel safe being themselves. Creating a safe space for honesty might reduce instances of ADHD-related lying.
• Clarifying expectations. It may help you and your loved one to communicate what you expect from each other in order to reduce misunderstandings. For example, you may share that you don’t expect them to be perfect or to remember every little detail, and they can share that they expect you to respond to them with compassion when symptoms arise. 
• Positively reinforcing the truth. In some situations, telling the truth may be brave for a person with ADHD because it opens them up to the potential for criticism or judgment. Acknowledging and appreciating when your loved one tells the truth may help them feel safer doing so in the future.

Supporting children and teens with ADHD 

ADHD-related lying is often more common in children and teens. In addition to seeking ADHD treatment for your child, it may also be helpful to teach them about the value of honesty, but without shaming them. You might do this by helping your child understand the potential consequences of lying and learn from their mistakes while validating their experiences and not making them feel guilty for lying, related to ADHD symptoms. 

Tips for reducing ADHD lying-related behaviors in yourself

If you have ADHD, struggle with lying sometimes, and are looking for strategies to help, the following techniques may be useful:

• Building self-awareness. Practicing mindfulness strategies may help you become more aware of your patterns and tendencies, potentially empowering you to make different choices in certain situations.
• Using “pause” techniques. It may help you to practice pausing and taking a deep breath before you respond in a situation where you’re tempted to lie. Even a few seconds can sometimes be enough to create space between trigger and response, which may help with emotion regulation and impulsivity. A therapist may help you practice this kind of technique.
• Implementing practical tools and reminders. Visual cues and organizational tools (like sticky notes, task lists, and smartphone reminders) could help you reduce the impact of ADHD-related forgetfulness, which may reduce the pressure to lie in some situations.

ADHD treatments to help with lying or other impacts

Getting treatment for ADHD symptoms in general may also be an effective way to address unwanted lying behaviors. A therapist may help you understand your symptoms and share techniques for more effectively managing them. ADHD treatment often involves therapy, medication, and lifestyle changes.

Therapy for ADHD

Some form of talk therapy is usually a core part of treatment for ADHD symptoms. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and interpersonal therapy are a few approaches often used for ADHD. Over time, the therapist may help the client better understand their symptoms—including any ADHD-related lying behaviors—and develop strategies for reducing or coping with them.

Medication for ADHD symptoms

For some individuals with ADHD, a doctor or psychiatrist may recommend medication in addition to ADHD therapy. Certain medications may help improve concentration and reduce impulsivity, which might also help address ADHD-related lying behaviors. Consult a medical doctor before starting, changing, or stopping a medication for any condition. The information in this article is not a replacement for medical advice or diagnosis. 

Lifestyle changes

In addition to receiving professional treatment, certain lifestyle changes may help a person manage their ADHD symptoms. For example, research suggests that regular physical exercise may help reduce core ADHD symptoms and improve executive function. Habits like getting enough sleep and eating nutrient-rich foods can also be important for symptom management.

Online therapy for support with ADHD symptoms

Therapy is usually a key part of ADHD treatment, but it may not always be possible for a person to attend in-person appointments each week. Some may live in an area with few therapists who specialize in ADHD, while others may find it hard to commute and make it to appointments on time because of ADHD symptoms. In such cases, online therapy can be a more convenient way to get care.

With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can get matched with a therapist who has experience treating ADHD. You can then meet with them remotely, from the comfort of home, via phone call, video call, or live chat. Research shows that online therapy can often be effective in helping individuals manage symptoms of ADHD.