Why Am I Always Angry? How To Deal With Anger Problems

If you’re asking yourself, “Why am I so angry?” understanding the possible underlying causes of this feeling of anger—whether it’s stress, unmet expectations, feelings of injustice, past trauma, or a mental health condition—may be a helpful first step in learning to manage it. 

Read on to learn more about why you may feel anger, possible causes, and research-supported strategies that may help you manage it.

Understanding anger and how it works

The American Psychological Association (APA) defines anger as “an emotion characterized by tension and hostility arising from frustration, real or imagined injury by another, or perceived injustice.”.

Anger can be considered a “normal” emotion that most people experience from time to time. When it comes to your own anger, it can be helpful to understand that Anger it is a healthy emotion that can be beneficial when it’s expressed healthily. According to the APA, the healthiest way to cope with anger is to express it in an assertive, non-aggressive manner. To do this, you must learn how to state your needs clearly and ensure they are met without hurting other people. However, depending on anger levels, mental health problems, and other personal factors and circumstances, some people may cope with anger in ways that are not as productive.

When anger becomes a problem

People act in various ways when they are angry. Those who are unable to express their anger may act impulsively and turn to unhealthier ways to manage it. For example, some people may suppress anger, but suppressed anger can turn inward and lead to various mental and physical health challenges. Suppressed anger can also cause unhealthy expressions of anger, like taking it out on others or criticizing everything, which can have significant impacts on relationships.

Anger can be caused by both internal and external factors that are often unique to each person. Understanding what triggers your anger—especially warning signs for explosive, disruptive, or otherwise problematic anger can be a helpful step in learning to manage your experience of this emotion. We explore some factors that may cause or exacerbate feelings of anger below.

Common reasons you may always feel angry

Read on for a more in-depth look at five of the most common causes of anger. We’ll also cover a few steps that may be supportive and constructive for each one.

1. Stress, burnout, or fatigue

Stressful events such as work pressure, financial problems, or relationship conflict could prompt someone to feel anger and frustration. Additionally, lack of sleep or physical exhaustion from another cause could make you more irritable and prone to anger.

Possible solutions: If you believe that this is the cause of your angry feelings, finding ways to adjust your lifestyle or habits could help you address the situation.

• If work stress is making you irritable, for example, you might look for new strategies for time management or task prioritization.
• Relaxation techniques like deep breathing could also be helpful in keeping daily stress from taking over your emotions.
• If sleep deprivation seems to be the cause of your anger, practicing good sleep hygiene or seeing a doctor for any sleep disturbances you may be experiencing could help as well.

2. Unmet expectations or disappointments

Past experiences with unrealistic expectations and subsequent disappointments might lead to anger. For example, you may feel angry when someone fails to keep a promise or when you don't get the results you were hoping for.

Possible solutions: To preemptively combat feelings of anger in this context, you may benefit from setting realistic expectations for yourself and others.

• Cultivating a gratitude practice may also help you learn to find the good even in situations that don’t go exactly your way.
• Discovering strategies to help you manage disappointment without resorting to intense anger could also be useful. Examples could include finding a healthy outlet for your feelings, learning to be adaptable and find alternative solutions, or practicing radical acceptance.

3. Feeling threatened or treated unfairly

Feeling threatened or experiencing injustice might trigger anger or feelings of rage as a defense mechanism. For example, you may feel angry when someone disagrees with your opinion, or if you find yourself experiencing discrimination or if people act unfairly to you.

Possible solutions: While this can be difficult to do in the heat of the moment when you are feeling angry, you may try to learn to identify and challenge irrational thoughts and beliefs that may contribute to feeling threatened when you’re simply being disagreed with or given negative feedback.

• Additionally, you may try to practice assertiveness and learn to communicate your needs and boundaries clearly and respectfully. 
• You can then work on resolving conflicts peacefully instead of with aggression, possibly seeking mediation or therapy if needed.

4. Past trauma and learned responses

Childhood experiences and traumatic events can affect your emotions, personality traits, and behaviors into adulthood. For example, you may have learned to express anger to cope with past abuse, neglect, or abandonment. Traumatic triggers may significantly increase the likelihood of demonstrating an angry emotional response, such as engaging in verbal aggression or other threatening behavior.

Possible solutions: If you find yourself feeling angry over trauma from past experiences, you might seek therapy to address and heal from these experiences.

• Practicing mindfulness and self-awareness in an attempt to understand your emotions and triggers might also be helpful.
• Additionally, you can work to develop healthy coping skills for when you feel difficult memories and associated emotions coming up, like journaling or talking to a trusted friend.

5. Substance use or mental health conditions

Substance use and mental health problems (such as depression, anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, intermittent explosive disorder, bipolar disorder, or personality disorders) might cause anger and even aggression in some. For example, you may feel angry or irritable when under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or if you’re experiencing mood swings due to bipolar disorder or irrational thoughts as a result of another mental illness.

Possible solutions: If you believe that substance use may be contributing to your feelings of anger, you might choose to seek professional support.

• This can look different for everyone, but it may include supportive tools such as therapy, counseling, a support group, and/or provider-prescribed medication.
• You might also choose to practice self-compassion as you learn to manage negative thoughts and feelings positively.
• If you’re experiencing symptoms of a mental health condition, it’s generally recommended that you seek the support of a licensed mental health care professional for advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

From there, your professional can help you find the right support and coping mechanisms to address your symptoms and engage in anger management strategies.

Physical and biological factors that can affect anger

Anger may be considered an emotion that impacts one’s thoughts and behaviors, but it can also have physical effects on the body that can impact how difficult it is to manage. Understanding the physical side of anger can help figure out new ways to cope with it.

Chronic pain and illness

When someone lives with chronic pain or a chronic illness, it can put the body under constant stress. Because of this, the person’s threshold for anger and frustration may be lower. In other words, things that may not cause an anger response in many people can trigger a response in people with a chronic condition that may seem out of proportion.

Brain chemistry and hormones

Some brain chemicals, like dopamine and serotonin, help regulate mood, while others, like cortisol and adrenaline, lead to stress and prepare the body to respond to a threat. Many factors, like stress, sleep, and nutrition, can influence the balance of these hormones, which can make it harder to control anger.

Physical symptoms linked to anger

Anger can also cause various physical symptoms, including headaches, fatigue, muscle tension, and high blood pressure. Over time, these symptoms can contribute to chronic health conditions and other long-term mental and physical health challenges. 

When to seek professional help for anger

Everyone can experience anger from time to time, but there are some warning signs to look for that can indicate it may be time to speak to a healthcare provider, such as: 

• Your anger is impacting your relationships.
• Your anger is impacting your performance at work, school, or home. 
• Your anger feels uncontrollable.
• Your anger escalates to aggression.

Options for seeking therapy for anger, including online therapy

There are various therapy approaches that can be effective at helping people manage anger and related mental health challenges. For example, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help people identify the thought patterns that influence their angry responses and learn how to replace them with more productive ones. For those who have anger issues related to past experiences, trauma-informed treatment can help them identify the underlying wounds that may be informing behavior and create a path to lasting change.

Some people may feel embarrassed or intimidated at the thought of meeting with a therapist in person to discuss difficult emotions like anger. In these types of situations, online therapy can represent a more convenient and comfortable alternative.

With a platform like BetterHelp, you can get matched with a licensed therapist who you can meet with via phone, video call, and/or in-app messaging from the comfort of home.

Medically reviewed research suggests that online therapy—particularly CBT—can help produce better outcomes in those experiencing troubling anger, so you may choose to explore this treatment format in an effort to learn to control your anger if it feels right for you.