Why Am I So Angry?

By Margaret Wack|Updated May 23, 2022
CheckedMedically Reviewed By Kelly L. Burns, MA, LPC, ATR-P

How Am I Showing Emotions

People may feel and express feeling angry in very different ways. Some people might make it known when they feel upset, while others might wonder why they are feeling so angry.

Being angry is a natural reaction. When experienced in excess, however, you might ask yourself "why am I feeling so mad?" and it can result in health problems, including depression, anxiety, high blood pressure, heart disease, and more. It's okay to ask yourself, "why am I feeling so mad?", but it's important to deal with those emotions.

Learn About Why You Might Be Experiencing Excessive Anger

his article will cover different reasons for rage and tools you can use to help manage your rage healthily and productively.

Why Do I Feel So Angry?

Anger can be caused by many different things and can be triggered by a wide variety of circumstances depending on the individual. Some reasons for some rage and anger may include:

  • Being disrespected or treated unfairly
  • Feeling violated, threatened, or attacked
  • Being frightened
  • Being interrupted when you are trying to achieve a goal
  • Feeling powerless or hopeless
  • High levels of stress or anxiety
  • Lack of sleep
Top Reasons Behind Anger And Why You Get So Angry

Now that you have a better understanding of what rage is and how being angry feels, here are five common reasons that may be causing you to feel angry:

Powerlessness

Another common cause of rage is powerlessness. This feeling is often associated with a loss of control and some feelings of helplessness. If you're experiencing issues with your health, struck in a bad relationship, or just feeling so trapped, you might feel especially upset.

Whenever you find yourself feeling so powerless, remind yourself, "I'm responsible for my own life. I'm worthy of respect. My skills and abilities have brought me here today, and I can use them to deal with this negative situation in a healthy way. I'm going to go on a run to cool down, and then I'll come back to this situation with a clear head."  If you feel like you are losing control of your own life, you may consider seeking professional help or guidance on making changes.

Anxiety

According to the ADAA, over 40 million adults in the United States alone experience anxiety, about eighteen percent of the total population. Although anxiety and rage might seem like two different mental health issues, they are often deeply intertwined. When faced with challenging circumstances, people with anxiety may express their stress and frustration through rage.

The good news is that there are some positive treatment methods for dealing with anxiety. Some ways to deal with anxiety healthily include seeking professional help, engaging in enjoyable activities, reducing stressors and anger in your life, getting a pet, trying medication under the guidance of a professional, or meditation.

Past Events Or Trauma

A traumatic or painful experience can have lasting effects, even if you think you've moved on from the event. Memories of past trauma can trigger anxiety, frustration, and even outbursts. To properly resolve past trauma, it's always a good idea to seek the help of a professional. Counseling services can help you navigate negative emotions, control excessive rage, and develop strategies for coping with painful or triggering circumstances.

Traumatic events can have a lasting impact on your mental health, and you may not always realize how they're affecting your current behavior. A therapist can help you recognize how past events affect your mood today and offer guidance in healing from these events.

Grief

Grief is another common cause of rage. So much grief can be an overwhelming emotion that is often associated with hardship, pain, and personal loss. Grief can stem from the death of friends, loved ones, partners, parents, siblings, or even a pet. Grief can also be caused by other hardships, including professional or personal disappointment, the loss of a job, physical injury, or even current events.

When you're overwhelmed by grief, it can quickly turn towards anger and rage. Grieving people are often frustrated by the cruelty and unfairness of the world, upset that a future they had envisioned is no longer possible, and upset with people who cannot understand and sympathize with their experiences.

Although it is normal to experience rage with grief, anger can become out of control if not dealt with properly. Allow yourself to feel the grief so that you may begin the healing process.

What Are The Different Types Of Anger?

Physical Anger

For many, this is the worst type of rage that needs anger management as soon as possible. Someone who is physically upset may break things around them or attack the person they feel wronged them.

Your rage outbursts can be seen as terrifying or turn you into a laughingstock should you attack an object like punching a hole in the wall. Sometimes, physical anger is a sort of fight or flight response to a perceived danger. 

While a mental illness may explain it, it doesn't excuse physical anger. If you have physical anger, you could benefit from learning relaxation techniques. Find a psychiatrist or a therapist who can help you identify certain triggers and teach you anger management techniques.

Stress Anger

Sometimes, we become angry due to stress, and we may express it through rage. If a computer is giving you a hard time, you may get angry and hit it. In a case like this, you need more than anger management. You need to learn how to manage to feel angry. Here are some ways to do so:

  • Don't deal with it if it's too much to handle. Don't accept overtime when you're overwhelmed.
  • If you have a mental health disorder, you may need to treat it before handling stress. Your mental illness may make handling your stress worse. 

Passive Aggressive Anger

Essentially, this is when you handle anger by being avoidant-you express that you're mad, but not why, or not at the right person. It's an anger problem that may not seem too bad, but it may still cause issues. If you're asked to take out the trash when you're in the middle of watching TV, you may say, "I was watching TV, but I'd love to take out the trash." Sometimes, the tone of your voice can tell the other person you feel upset, but that's not always the case. If you're told to do something you don't want to, you control your rage by deliberately doing it badly. Again, this is something that a person may notice but may not. And even if they do notice, they won't know the reasons you're upset.

Verbal Anger

Many people think that it's a good thing to settle their rage through their words and not their fists. However, verbal anger is misused often and can be dangerous to someone who can't manage rage. Someone angry all the time may take it out on their spouse or loved one. Ridicule, threats, and yelling are signs of toxic verbal rage, and it's a sign of an anger problem that needs to be addressed.

With proper anger management, verbal anger can be turned into something that's a force for good. One of the best anger management techniques you can do is to explain how you feel hurt. Don't use accusatory language, but instead, express your emotions. This can help the person you're angry at realizing they've done something wrong, and it can be easier to find a solution. This is a great force for good.

Volatile Anger

Someone with volatile anger doesn't necessarily have to be upset all the time; sometimes, the feeling seems to happen all at once. People may feel like they have to walk on eggshells to be around you to avoid your rage and aggression, and having volatile anger can end your relationships and friendships. Someone with volatile anger may not be aware they have it, and they don't feel bad about it, or they do, and they feel bad every time they lose their temper. 

It's important that if you have volatile anger, you learn some anger management techniques to lessen those feelings. While the anger may seem sudden, there are often triggers that may cause your rage. By learning the triggers, you can avoid them or learn to control your anger should they arise.

Retaliatory Anger

This is being upset at people who have wronged you. Quite often in life, we are wrong. Sometimes, it's something major, such as someone stealing from you, ruining your relationship, or sabotaging you at work.

Retaliatory anger can lead to thoughts and feelings of revenge, and you may wonder if you need anger management for it. Attacking someone who wronged you can lead to repercussions. If you feel upset all the time at the people who wronged you, you'll probably feel better after speaking with a therapist. They can help you control your rage and use it for something good.

Upset At Yourself And Anger

This type of anger response can have some serious consequences. Self-anger is when you have done something you regret, and you blame yourself. It's another type of anger that can be good when used correctly.

When one feels mad all the time at themselves, they may take it out negatively. They may express their rage by engaging in high-risk behavior, including heavy use of drugs or alcohol, disordered eating habits, or even putting themselves in danger. These may provide a temporary distraction from your anger but will not solve the root of the issue. A therapist can help you formulate a plan to improve and be able to help you feel better.

Repressed Anger 

Repressed anger involves bottling up your rage because you don't want to express it or don't know how to. With repressed anger, you often keep it bottled up until it's too much, and then you may let it out at the wrong time or the wrong person. Repressed anger is especially common in households or societies where you may be taught that it's bad to express your emotions. 

Angry? There's Help For Your Anger

When you're overwhelmed by feelings of anger, it can often feel as if there's no appropriate outlet to channel your frustration and negative emotions. If you're unsure where to turn or how to express your anger healthily, BetterHelp can help. Our online therapy services can help you understand yourself, control your emotions, and improve your mental health. An online therapist, such as those available here at BetterHelp, can provide medical and therapeutic solutions to any rage issues or mental disorders you may have. Getting help online is just one of the many support groups you should implement for rage. Therapists can give advice, diagnosis assistance, and be a stone in your overall mental health foundation.

Learn About Why You Might Be Experiencing Excessive Anger

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