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Attachment-based therapy is a type of therapy rooted in the attachment theory, or the idea that a child needs strong bonds with their caregivers growing up in order to form safe, healthy relationships as they grow.
When those early bonds are disrupted, it may lead to attachment wounds that impact emotional and relational well-being later in life. Those who had difficult or strained relationships with their primary caregivers may later face challenges that affect areas like mental health, personal relationships, and sense of self.
If this sounds familiar, you might consider attachment-based therapy if you are experiencing difficulties, potential mismatches in your relationships, or navigating ongoing relationship distress that feels difficult to resolve on your own. Let’s take a deeper look at what attachment-based therapy is and how it may help.
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Clinically Reviewed By: Corey Pitts, MA, LCMHC
What is attachment-based therapy?
According to Peter C. Costello, Ph.D., author of Attachment-Based Psychotherapy in Practice, “Attachment-based therapy is an approach to therapy that specifically targets those thoughts, feelings, communications, behaviors, and interpersonal exchanges that patients have learned either to suppress and avoid or to amplify and overemphasize because of early attachment experiences."
Also called ABT, this type of emotionally-focused therapy can help those who are having difficulties in adult relationships or who have emotional patterns that they find difficult to break.
ABT addresses the ways in which people's current challenges may be rooted in bonds with family members when they were young that might not have been healthy or safe. By working through these experiences, attachment therapy may support individuals in building a more stable emotional foundation.
What are the different attachment styles?
Experts have identified four main attachment styles that are formed in childhood, which then influence the ways people behave in adult relationships. Most people don’t have only one style, as our life experiences can change the ways we think and behave over time.
Attachment styles may shift as we pursue new relationships, invest in our self-care and mental health, and develop a deeper understanding of ourselves. This is often with support from approaches like attachment-based therapy, which focuses on reshaping relational patterns and helping individuals move toward a more secure attachment style in their relationships.
Secure attachment
Secure attachment is defined by trust and emotional safety. Children who formed secure bonds with family members as children typically grow up to form healthy adult attachment relationships that are deep, meaningful, and lasting. These individuals are often able to experience emotional closeness and maintain balance between independence and connection.
They show positive traits like being warm, social, and expressive when it comes to their thoughts and feelings, allowing them to form strong bonds. The goal of attachment-based theory is to be able to form relationships with secure attachments.
Anxious-preoccupied attachment
People with this attachment style tend to have a fear of abandonment and need reassurance in their relationships. This may come across as them being needy, anxious, uncertain, or low in self-esteem. While they crave deep, emotional intimacy, people with anxious-preoccupied attachment also worry that they are not good enough or that others don’t really want to be with them.
People with anxious attachment may also have problems setting boundaries. They may view their own self-worth through the lens of their intimate relationships and how they are being treated within their relationship. They may benefit from developing self-compassion as they work through fears or inadequacy.
Dismissive-avoidant attachment
This style is characterized by avoiding close relationships and emotional attachment. People with this attachment style may have shallow relationships and may not depend on others, preferring brief, casual connections to deep, long-lasting relationships.
People with avoidant attachments may be uncomfortable with closeness and avoid intimacy with others. Because of this, they might not pursue romantic relationships or avoid them altogether, which may make it challenging to build healthy connections over time. However, they may be very self-sufficient and good at setting personal boundaries.
Fearful-avoidant (disorganized) attachment
Fearful-avoidant attachment mixes traits of both anxious and avoidant attachment styles. People with this attachment style may appear independent, but they might fear closeness and be reluctant to trust others. They might find it hard to regulate their emotions or cope in times of stress.
Fearful-avoidant attachment can go along with post-traumatic stress disorder, as it is often linked to childhood trauma or unpredictable caregiving during childhood.
How can attachment-based therapy help?
The therapeutic relationship itself models secure attachment by creating a trusting relationship. Working with a therapist to identify a person's attachment style may benefit them by working through attachment difficulties related to childhood, fractured family relationships, or troubled romantic partnerships.
People who try ABT may find that their self-esteem and self-worth improve while also navigating anxiety or depression. Over time, clients may find it easier to build healthy connections and navigate relationships with greater confidence.
Adults may benefit from attachment-based therapy at any point if they want to explore the ways to relate to others and build relationships.
How does BetterHelp support attachment-based therapy?
BetterHelp connects adults with licensed therapists who specialize in different areas, including attachment-based approaches. Once connected, users and therapists can communicate in convenient ways, including therapy by:
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Video
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Phone
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Live chat
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Messaging
Users may find the online format more accessible, as there are no waitlists or commutes required. The online format doesn’t reduce effectiveness, either. BetterHelp’s matching process may help users connect with a licensed therapist.
Connect with your licensed therapist on BetterHelp
BetterHelp offers accessible, convenient therapy built for the 21st century. Whether you want to address childhood trauma, work on your attachment style, or simply have someone to talk things out with, BetterHelp connects adults with licensed therapists who can provide support wherever they are in their journey.
FAQs
Is attachment-based therapy effective for adults?
Attachment-based therapy may help adults identify and shift insecure attachment patterns, even when those patterns formed in childhood.
Can attachment-based therapy help with post-traumatic stress disorder?
Attachment-based therapy may be a helpful approach for PTSD, particularly when trauma is linked to early relationships or caregiving experiences.
Does emotionally focused therapy relate to attachment-based therapy?
Yes, emotionally focused therapy is rooted in attachment theory and is often used to address attachment difficulties in individuals and couples.
Can I do attachment-based therapy online?
Yes, online therapy platforms like BetterHelp offer access to licensed therapists who specialize in attachment-based approaches.
Can attachment-based therapy improve family relationships?
It may help address fractured family relationships by building self-awareness and healthier patterns of connection.