Here you will find articles that will help you gain insight into what kind of attachments you have with the people in your life. You can learn to form healthy connections with friends and family by gaining a better understanding of the power of attachment and how it can help you become healthier, stronger, and more independent.
Attachment is an integral part of how we connect to other human beings. When we’re children, we learn to bond with the people that brought us into the world or adopted us. Whether it’s your biological parents or your adopted family, you form bonds with your parents or guardians when you are young. If somebody is a child and they are insecure about attachment, they are likely to develop separation anxiety from their guardians. It could manifest in not wanting to leave their mom or dad when going to school, camp, or any other activity where they would have to be alone. A child who is securely attached will say goodbye to their guardian without feeling afraid that they won’t come back. There’s also another form of attachment, which is called “avoidant.” As a child, this individual is most often neglected, and due to their childhood neglect, they do not form attachments properly. They are afraid to form attachments, and so, it appears that they are numb or lacking emotion surrounding relationships with others.
Types of Attachment
As we established, an insecure attachment is when a person does not feel at ease when it comes to connecting with others. As an adult, a person who is insecurely attached to their partner will ask for reassurance that the person stills loves them. They fear being abandoned and are scared that their lover might leave them. A person who is insecurely attached may have trouble staying in relationships because of all of the reassurance that they need from their partner. Their significant other may grow tired of reassuring them and start to feel that they aren’t trusted, or like nothing they do will ever be enough to make this person feel secure in their relationship. If you have an insecure attachment style, it is important to seek therapy. You can discuss where the insecure attachment originated. Ask yourself: how can I work on forming secure attachments to people, where I feel stable?”
Those who live with avoidant attachment issues are not confident that they can form meaningful connections. A potential cause of this attachment style is that the person may have experienced childhood neglect. If you don’t feel loved by your parents or guardians during your formative years, that is a form of neglect. A child who experiences neglect of any kind may grow up and, as an adult, tend to isolate themselves. They may find it challenging to seek proper attachments. Therapy or counseling can help a person open up, allow themselves to be more vulnerable to others, and let people who usually avoid attachment feel more secure in forming close relationships.
Secure attachment is the optimal situation, where a person feels confident in themselves and secure about their relationships with loved ones or romantic partners. If you are securely attached, you are not afraid of your partner cheating on you or leaving. Your abandonment issues can come up in therapy, and that's an excellent place to talk about them, Secure attachments form lasting relationships - and healthy ones! In a dysfunctional relationship, you may have a person with avoidant attachment issues and a person with insecure attachment issues. An anxious or insecurely attached person constantly wants reassurance from the avoidant person, and the avoidant person avoids them. That is not an optimal scenario. The optimal situation is that people work on themselves in therapy and come together to form a healthy relationship in the end.
Online counseling is an excellent place to discuss your issues with attachment and healing. We all have scars from our past. Our earliest attachments can imprint trauma in our lives, and if you are carrying around traumatic experiences without dealing with them, you’re hurting. Whether you were a victim of child neglect, or, perhaps, you are having difficulties forming a connection with a baby that you just had. You worry about how this could affect them in the future, whatever the reason could be, online counselors, are available through the BetterHelp database to help you learn how to attach healthily and support you in forming lasting relationships with other people that mean something to you.