Looking for signs of who he secretly likes? Maybe you know him from work or school, or you're acquaintances from childhood. Perhaps it feels as if you’re caught in the dreaded friend zone with him.
Before we get into knowing the signs that he secretly likes you, body language, and things of that nature, let’s first take a moment to examine how the way you met matters.
If you meet someone via a dating app or a friend set the two of you up, then there is an understanding from the beginning that there might be mutual interest between you. If the first time you met was to go on a date to see if there was a spark, then romance should be on both of your minds. There probably won’t be any mistaking of your intentions, especially when a pickup line or two is dropped.
Where things get potentially complicated is if you know a guy in a different capacity, and you’re not entirely sure what his intentions are toward you. Maybe you met him at work, so you knew him professionally before there was any possibility of romance between you. Perhaps you knew him from childhood, and the two of you were platonic friends for many years before you began to look at him differently. There are lots of other scenarios where you can’t be quite sure if he could ever think of you as more than a colleague or a friend. This is where you’ll need to rely on body language signs to try to clear up the confusion and catch those split second cues if you hope to become involved with him.
You might also be wondering why the guy you like doesn’t just have a straightforward conversation with you so that you’ll know where he stands with you. There are several potential reasons that he may be reluctant to deal with the situation in that way.
Maybe he’s shy or nervous about talking to women. If that’s the case, then it’s likely he is afraid of rejection. If he is a coworker or a classmate, he might be trying to avoid making things awkward. If he makes his feelings clear that he’s not interested in pursuing anything further, then it’s going to be weird for the two of you to be around each other. It might be frustrating for you to not know quite where you stand, and that’s why signs a guy likes you, learning how to read male body language, and understanding subtle signs and cues should be in your thoughts.
Here’s one of the signs that he's attracted and likes you more than a friend. Body language might not be on his mind, but if he feels casual about your relationship with him, then he won’t always sit as though he is fully engaged with you. Think about it this way. If you’re watching a movie or a TV show in which you are invested, then you’re going to square yourself up in such a way that the screen in centered in your field of vision. It’s a subconscious thing that people tend to do, but it’s a way that you’re zeroing in on the object that has fully captured your attention. If you have your TV on for background noise, by contrast, then you might not be looking directly at it.
This is similar to you and the man you like. If he feels casual about you, then he might not have his body locked in on yours. If he is romantically interested, he’ll be angling his face, chest, and shoulders so that you are directly in front of him and he is paying attention to you. This tells you that nothing else around the two of you is as important to him as you are. If the two of you are standing and facing each other, you should see both of his feet pointed directly at you. All of these would be reliable indicators that you are the most compelling thing around him, and he wants you to know it.
If a man is interested in what you have to say and has an attraction to you, he will also lean in slightly. If you need to know how to tell if a guy likes you, body language like that is another clear message for both men and women. This is one of the more basic and natural reactions to have. People lean in toward things that they like, and they lean away from things that repel them. It’s not something that’s going to be obvious in most cases, but you should still watch for it. He might even ask you to repeat yourself sometimes as an excuse to move closer to you and move into your personal space.
If someone often smiles when they are in your presence, that’s also a potential indicator that they like being around you. This is true for both men and women. But the sort of smile that it is also matters. If a guy smiles at you often with a broad, ear-to-ear grin, he’s making it known that he’s into you. He likes the way you make him feel and what you have to say. If he’s showing you a lot of teeth, that’s a great sign. The goofier grins you get from him, the more likely that he has feelings for you and views you as an attractive person.
You might also notice the way his mouth moves, for example, if his lips part frequently when you two are together. This could indicate the desire to want to imitate a kiss.
If the guy you’re interested in cannot take his eyes away from you but doesn’t look at other women like that, then that’s another way for you to know that you have his full attention. When he sees you, his eyebrows raise on instinct to signal his joy to see you, along with a smile. You just have to hope that your feelings about him are the same as his for you. Nothing is worse than when a guy can’t stop looking at you, but you don’t have any romantic interest in him.
Along with smiling, you might also take note of his eye movements. His eye contact might be directly aimed at your entire face, not just your eyes, and his pupils dilate when he sees you. This is a good indication that he is interested in you, too.
If he is attracted to you, another body language cue that he will give you is to imitate your movements. Again, this will be subtle, but you might notice when he’ll stand or he’ll point when you stand or point. If the two of you are sitting in a booth at a restaurant and you touch your face, tilt back slightly, or laugh, look to see if he has done something similar. This imitation, though he will probably not be aware of it, is him trying to tell you that the two of you are on the same wavelength. It’s him saying that he likes you and is trying to connect with you. He’s aiming for mutual trust and understanding.
If you’re across the room from the guy that you like and you start moving in his direction, then try to notice if he smooths his hair back, straightens his shirt, or does anything else to adjust his appearance. It is to be expected for humans to try and look our best around someone in whom we have an interest. This is a good sign that he is trying to impress you, so he’s going to want you to see the best representation of himself that he can. Don’t worry. This doesn’t mean he is shallow or vain.
Not all physical contact is typically romantic, but is he initiating physical contact he hasn’t before, such as sitting closer than normal? This sudden physical superiority can be a sign that he is into you as well.
You might be looking for signs-a-guy-wants-to-kiss-you body language every time the object of your desire comes close. But what if the signs that he’s giving you are ambiguous, or you’re not so confident about what you’re seeing? It would be easy if a guy couldn’t be more obvious about whether he likes you or not but that doesn’t happen all of the time. Some guys are not the open books that others are and display open body language.
If that’s the case, then there might come a time when you’ll need to put all of your cards on the table. You’ll need to sit down with a guy or take a moment when the two of you can be alone, and you can simply tell him how you feel and ask if he feels the same way.
If you were infatuated with someone, it wouldn’t do to lead with that. Try to be casual about it and keep things light. You can ask if he wants to go on a date with you or if he’d like to meet up in a setting away from work or class if that is how you know him up till that point. Don’t make it sound like it’s the most crucial thing in your life but also be clear about your intentions. That will force him to cut through any possible ambiguity and make a decision one way or another.
If you share a long history with a man, then asking him on a date might not be the best way to go. Instead, you’ll need to be more upfront about the depths of your feelings. A total outpouring of how you feel can be dangerous, and may cause him to want more space. If you have been friends forever, though, and now you want to be more, then you probably trust this person not to hurt you and you can be more expansive about your hopes for the relationship.
If this is the route you take, be careful and take a deep breath. If you come clean and then it turns out that this person wants to stay friends rather than become romantically involved, then you run the risk of heartbreak. Still, at least you will know conclusively one way or another how they feel about you. You can then stop wondering and move on.
Talking about how feel about someone to that person can make you feel anxious, such as a life coach or friend. That’s normal. If you feel anxious quite often, though, and in social situations, then maybe speak with an in-person or online therapist. They can help you with techniques for managing your anxiety. For example, maybe you have negative thoughts that then lead you to feel anxious. A therapist will teach you how replace those thoughts with positive, constructive ones to help reduce the feelings of anxiety.
Online therapy has been shown to be effective for managing social anxiety. Participants in a study were treated through the use of videoconferencing and found improvements in their quality of life. Improvements were also found in those experiencing depression. The study pointed to the effectiveness of successfully delivering cognitive-behavior therapy through videoconferencing and that it is equal to or better than face-to-face therapy.
Our mental health therapists would be happy to assist with some advice, and it’s a relief to have someone to speak to who is not directly involved with the situation.
You can meet with a counselor when it’s convenient and wherever it's comfortable. Read below for some reviews of BetterHelp counselors from people experiencing similar issues.
Commonly Asked Questions On This Topic Found Below:
How do you tell if a man is attracted to you but hiding it?
One way to know if a man is attracted to you but hiding it is by paying attention to open body language signs that he likes you. For example, if he likes you but doesn’t want you to know it, he might:
How to tell if a guy likes you or your body?
It can be hard to tell if a guy likes you for more than just your body, especially when you’re getting to know each other. Luckily, while everyone is different, there are some tell-tale signs that many guys will show when they’re really attracted to someone:
How do you know if someone secretly loves you?
Certain body language, like licking his lips, moving his legs closer to you, asking about other men in your life, and raising his eyebrows while you talk, can clue you in about someone secretly liking you. Another way of knowing is asking them directly, or, if you like them too, telling them that you’re attracted to them and watch his reaction.
What are signs of attraction?
There are two types of signs of attraction: physical or body language signs and behavioral signs.
Body language signs that he’s interested in you can include:
Behavioral signs that he’s attracted to you might include:
What are the physical signs of love?
Body language signs can look different in a man and a woman. When women are in love, they may start feeling more comfortable being vulnerable and opening up about their insecurities and emotions. This is also true for men, who are more likely to show their true selves to someone they are attracted to and tend to be the first to say ‘I love you’ in relationships. Other signs of being in love or deeply attracted to someone for both men and women include:
Can you sense if someone is thinking of you?
Not really. While some people say that it is possible to tell if someone’s thinking of you if you tune in with your emotions very deeply, there’s no scientific evidence that his is true.