Signs He Secretly Likes You: Body Language And Nonverbal Cues
Updated September 18, 2020
Medically Reviewed By: Melinda Santa
Is there a guy in your life whom you have your eye on? Maybe you know him from work, from school, or the two of you are acquaintances from childhood. Perhaps you feel like you're caught in the dreaded friend zone with him. Signs he secretly likes you, body language, and nonverbal cues are going to be critical if you are to progress further in your relationship. Let's talk about some ways that you might become aware that his feelings for you are romantic.
How Did the Two of You Meet?
Before we get into signs he likes you, body language, and things of that nature, let's first take a moment to examine how much the way you met matters. If you meet someone via a dating app or a friend set the two of you up, then there is an understanding from the beginning that there might be mutual interest between you. If the first time you meet you go out on a date together to see if there is a spark, then romance should be on both of your minds, and there probably won't be any mistaking either of your intentions.
Where things get potentially complicated is if you know a guy in a different capacity and you're not entirely sure what his intentions are toward you. Maybe you met him at work, so you knew him professionally before there was any possibility of romance between you. Perhaps you knew him from childhood, and the two of you were platonic friends for many years before you began to look at him differently. There are lots of other scenarios where you can't be quite sure if he could ever think of you as more than a colleague or a friend. This is where you'll need to rely on body language signs to try and clear up the confusion if you hope to become involved with him.
Why Won't He Just Talk to You and Clear Things Up?
You might also be wondering why the guy you like doesn't just have a straightforward conversation with you so that you'll know where you stand with him. There are several potential reasons that he may be reluctant to deal with the situation in that way.
Maybe he's shy. If that's the case, then likely he is afraid of rejection. If he is a coworker or a classmate, he might be trying to avoid making things awkward. If he makes his feelings clear and you reject him, then it's going to be weird for the two of you to continue being around each other afterward. It might be frustrating for you to not know quite where you stand, and that's why signs a guy likes you, body language, and understanding subtle cues should be in your thoughts.
His Body Angle in Relation to You
Here's one of the signs that he likes you more than a friend. Body language might not be on his mind, but if he feels casual about your relationship, then he won't always sit as though he is fully engaged with you. Think about it this way. If you're watching a movie or a TV show in which you are invested, then you're going to square yourself up in such a way that the screen in centered in your field of vision. It's a subconscious thing, but it's a way that you're zeroing in on the object that has fully captured your attention. If you have your TV on for background noise, by contrast, then you might not be looking directly at it.
It's the same thing with you and the man you like. If he feels casual about you, then he might not have his body locked in on yours. If he is romantically interested, he'll be angling his face, chest, and shoulders so that you are directly in front of him. This tells you that nothing else around the two of you is as important to him as you are. If the two of you are standing and facing each other, you should see both of his feet pointed directly at you. All of these would be reliable indicators that you are the most compelling thing around him, and he wants you to know it.
He'll Lean In
If a man is interested in what you have to say and has an attraction to you, he will also lean in slightly. If you need to know how to tell if a guy likes you, body language like that is another clear message. This is one of the more basic and natural reactions that it is possible to have. People lean in toward things that they like, and they tilt back away from things that repel them. It's not something that's going to be extremely obvious in most cases, but you should still watch for it. He might even ask you to repeat yourself sometimes as an excuse to move closer to you.
He Smiles a Lot
If someone often smiles when they are in your presence, that's also a potential indicator that they like being around you. The sort of smile that it is also matters. If a guy smiles at you often with a broad, ear-to-ear grin, he's making it known that he's into you. He likes the way you make him feel and what you have to say. If he's showing you a lot of teeth, that's a great sign. The more goofy grins you get from him, the more likely that he has feelings for you.
He Stares in Your Direction
Men are visually oriented creatures. They can't help but stare at things that attract them, whether it's a potential mate or anything else. If he cannot take his eyes away from you, then that's another way for you to know that you have his full attention. You just have to hope that your feelings about him are the same as his for you. Nothing is worse than when a guy can't stop looking at you but you don't have any romantic interest in him.
His Movements Mirror Your Own
If a man likes you, another body language cue that he'll give you is to imitate your movements. Again, it will be subtle, but if the two of you are sitting in a booth at a restaurant, and you touch your face, tilt back slightly, or laugh, then look to see if he has done something similar. This imitation, though he will probably not be aware of it, is him trying to tell you that the two of you are on the same wavelength. It's him saying that he's trying to connect with you. He's aiming for mutual trust and understanding.
He Grooms Himself When You Come Closer
If you're across the room from the guy that you like and you start moving in his direction, then try to notice if he smooths his hair back, straightens his shirt, or does anything else to adjust his appearance. It is to be expected for humans to try and look our best around someone in whom we have an interest. He's trying to impress you, so he's going to want you to see the best representation of himself that he's capable of achieving. Don't worry; it doesn't mean that he's shallow or vain.
What if You're Not Picking Up on These Signs?
You might be looking for signs-a-guy-wants-to-kiss-you body language every time the object of your desire comes close. But what if the signs that he's giving you are ambiguous or you're not so confident about what you're seeing? It would be easy if a guy couldn't be more obvious about whether he is interested in you or not, but that doesn't happen all of the time. Some guys are not the open books that others are.
If that's the case, then there might come a time when you'll need to put all of your cards on the table. You'll need to sit down with a guy or take a moment when the two of you can be alone, and you can simply tell him how you feel and ask if he feels the same.
If you were infatuated with someone, it wouldn't do to lead with that. Try to be casual about it and keep things light. You can ask if he wants to go on a date with you or if he'd like to meet up in a setting away from work or class if that is how you know him up till that point. Don't make it sound like it's the most crucial thing in your life, but also be clear about your intentions. That will force him to cut through any possible ambiguity and make a decision one way or another.
What if the Two of You Have Been Friends for a Long Time?
If you share a longer history with a man, then asking him on a date might not be the best way to go. Instead, you'll need to be more upfront about the depths of your feelings. A total outpouring of how you feel can be dangerous. If you have been friends forever, though, and now you want to be more, then you probably trust this person not to hurt you and you can be more expansive about your hopes for the relationship.
If this is the route you take, be careful. If you come clean and then it turns out that this person wants to stay friends rather than become romantically involved, then you run the risk of heartbreak. Still, at least you will know conclusively one way or another how they feel about you, and you can stop wondering.
Do You Need Some Romantic Advice?
If you need to talk to someone about a guy who is in your life, then BetterHelp is there for you. One of our qualified mental health professionals would be happy to assist you with some advice, and it's a relief to have someone to speak to who is not directly involved with the situation.
Body language is one of the most dependable ways that you can tell if a guy likes you, so be mindful of what he does when he's around you. In most cases, a man will not be subtle. If he does feel a similar way about you that you do about him, then he'll let you know it, and then you can feel comfortable making your move.