Important information about domestic violence: What to know and how to stay safe
Domestic violence can be defined as "a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship." By nature, this pattern of behavior can be harmful and destructive to many areas of a person’s life.
Although many people have survived domestic violence, it can still present a prevalent concern in many homes and many families. A clear, thorough and detailed understanding of domestic violence can be paramount in facilitating validation for survivor experiences and true change on a societal level.
Read on to learn more about how to identify, react to and support those who are living with the effects of domestic violence.
An extensive overview of domestic violence
There are multiple forms of domestic violence. While some can be more obvious than others, each can be damaging and can be life-threatening. Beyond more common types, additional forms of abuse to watch for can include emotional abuse, online or “cyber” abuse, financial abuse and reproductive abuse.
Physical abuse
Physical abuse can happen when someone mistreats their partner by punching, slapping, choking or otherwise making other variations of unwanted and forceful physical contact.
Abandonment, intentionally dangerous driving, and forcing one's partner to partake in drug or alcohol use can also fall into the category of physical abuse.
Anyone can abuse or be abused in this way, regardless of defining characteristics—and regardless of whom the abuse stems from, it is considered to be equally wrong and should not be tolerated in any circumstance.
Sexual abuse
This form of abuse can manifest in the form of rape, sexual insults, pressuring one's partner to partake in sexual acts that the latter is uncomfortable with, intentionally trying to transfer a sexually transmitted infection or forcibly impregnating (or trying to impregnate) one without consent.
While the acts above can be readily apparent forms of mistreatment, there are further variations of sexual abuse that can occur that may not be as obvious. These can include bullying one's partner into viewing sex as an obligation, threatening to cheat or sleep with someone else or intimidating a partner after they have already stated that they do not wish to partake in sex or sexual acts.
Emotional abuse
Although emotional abuse might not leave physical scars and marks like that of physical and sexual abuse, it can still be an equally malevolent force that is carried out by perpetrators of domestic violence. Emotional abuse can moreover leave many psychological scars and damage the self-esteem of the survivor.
This form of abuse can take place in the form of name-calling, possessiveness, humiliation, property damage, bullying and cheating. It can also involve telling one's partner that they are lucky to be in a relationship with them, or that they'll never find anyone else who loves them as much. Emotional abuse can also occur when someone is excessively monitored, trapped in their home, controlled or wrongly blamed for acts or behaviors that aren’t their fault.
Online abuse
Online abuse can occur when one's partner employs technology as a means of mistreating their significant other. Sending mean emails or threatening texts, carrying out pranks on Twitter/Facebook/Instagram or using GPS to monitor one's partner can all fall into the category of online abuse.
Perpetrators of domestic violence may also use technology to abuse their partners by demanding their account login credentials, sending excessive text messages or leaving abusive voice messages.
Financial abuse
As the name might suggest, financial abuse can occur when one partner controls, misuses or otherwise abuses the earnings of their partner. In many instances, financial abuse can be illegal, and depending on the circumstances; the victim may have a strong standing to go after the person perpetuating the abuse legally.
Reproductive abuse
Reproductive abuse can have some similarities to sexual abuse. Instances of reproductive abuse can include dishonesty about being on the pill/having a vasectomy, poking holes in condoms, meddling with birth control, refusing to practice safe sex, forcing a partner to get an abortion, preventing a partner from getting an abortion, forcing impregnation and bullying a partner who wants to use birth control.
Warning signs of domestic violence
In many cases, survivors, friends and family members may identify warning signs that evidence that a partner is being abusive to other members of the relationship. Some of the most common warning signs of impending domestic violence can include mean-spirited insults, humiliation, destruction of property, throwing objects, threatening words or body language, excessive contact and isolation.
Why do people perpetrate domestic violence?
Many might wonder about the possible causes of abuse and what might prompt certain individuals to mistreat their loved ones.
Research has shown that one of the most common traits of people who abuse others is exposure to some type of abuse themselves, whether they witnessed or experienced it. They may have been abused as a child, or one (or both) of their parents may have been on the receiving end of abuse. In a similar vein, studies suggest that around one-third of children who are abused will grow up to abuse someone else.
However, every person can be different—and survivors of abuse are not destined to become abusive by any means. Online therapy and intervention can support survivors in fostering healthy patterns, further encouraging them to find healthier behaviors rather than abusive ones to overcome stress and relational strain.
Regardless of the reason, abuse is never tolerable or acceptable. Additionally, any individual who is experiencing domestic violence is generally encouraged by experts to leave the relationship. Those who remain in abusive relationships can be at risk of physical and emotional harm—and could even be in danger of losing their life. However, studies show that the time the individual chooses to leave the relationship can be the most dangerous time as the abusive partner may retaliate or refuse in some way to allow them to leave. Each situation is complex and not always understood by those outside the relationship.
How can online counseling support survivors of abuse?
Relationships can be difficult and complex. However, domestic violence is never acceptable. Anyone who is experiencing abuse or mistreatment from their partner is generally heavily urged to exit the relationship. However, in some cases, this can be much easier said than done.
If you’re experiencing domestic violence or have been in a violent relationship in the past, speaking with a therapist may help you figure out your next steps. BetterHelp, an online counseling platform, can connect you with licensed therapists who can help.
If going to a therapist in person makes you feel uncomfortable, the safety of online therapy may be a more ideal option for your situation.
Does online therapy work?
Those who have been exposed to or experienced domestic abuse can benefit from online therapeutic interventions. One study published in Internet Interventions assessed the efficacy of an internet-delivered cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) program for survivors of intimate partner violence.
Researchers found details that suggested that there were large and statistically significant positive effects on measures of PTSD, depression and anxiety disorder resolution—as well as small effects on measures of quality of life. These results are thought to show the effectiveness of online therapy in helping those who have experienced violence in their relationships.
Takeaway
What is the overview of violence?
The purpose of violence and abuse is typically to control others (often intimate partners). There are several types of domestic violence, including:
- Physical—Using physical violence like punching, kicking, slapping, choking, and other forms of assault. Intentionally dangerous driving, abandonment, and forcing another person to take drugs or alcohol may also be considered physical abuse.
- Psychological— Psychological abuse often leaves the individual with psychological damage and may include name-calling, shaming, humiliation, bullying, and cheating. Threatening to harm a beloved pet or a loved one to subjugate a partner is also considered psychological abuse, as is property damage.
- Financial—Financial abuse when one partner controls another through withholding or restricting access to another's finances. It can also include using the partner's identity to attain credit and harming their credit history, making it difficult for them to buy a car, find employment, or qualify for housing costs independently.
- Sexual—This type of intimate partner abuse may include sexual insults, rape, pressuring the partner to perform sexual acts they don't want to, intentionally attempting to give the partner a sexually transmitted infection, or using sex to impregnate without consent. Sexual coercion is another type of sexual violence. This might include threatening to "shame" or "out" someone due to their sexual orientation or gender identity. It may also involve using fear, guilt, or shame to force the other partner into having sex.
- Digital/Online Abuse—An abuser may use technology to humiliate or shame their partner on social media, send threatening or cruel emails or texts, or use technology to monitor or restrict their partner's movements.
What are the effects of domestic violence and conflicts?
In addition to physical injury, family violence and conflict in the home often create instability, fear, and psychological harm to the individuals involved. As a result, people experiencing abuse may develop mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and an overall state of poor mental health.
Children witnessing domestic violence and conflict in the home may develop behavioral problems at school or in interpersonal relationships. They might have difficulty regulating emotions and withdraw or isolate. There is a large body of research indicating that children exposed to abuse are more likely to develop anxiety, depression, substance use disorders, and engage in violent criminal behavior.
What is the impact of violence on individuals?
Interpersonal violence has short and long-term impacts on an individual's physical and mental well-being:
- Victims of domestic violence often suffer physical injuries that can have both immediate and long-term health consequences. These injuries may be severe enough to cause permanent physical damage or death.
- The emotional toll of domestic violence is extensive. Partners may experience depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and chronic fear. When these conditions cause mental illnesses such as PTSD, individuals might endure nightmares, flashbacks, hypervigilance, and other symptoms.
- Abuse can cause an individual to isolate and withdraw from friends, family, coworkers, and peers. This might be due to feelings of shame or fear of judgment, but it is often because an abuser limits their partner's interactions with others as a means of control.
- Abuse can affect an individual's financial well-being, as well. For example, an abuser may control the finances and limit their partner's access to monetary resources. Employment sabotage and coerced debt can adversely impact the individual's financial freedom. These types of behaviors may result in added control over the individual, making it even more challenging to leave the abusive relationship.
- When children are exposed to domestic abuse, it can lead to emotional and psychological trauma that negatively impacts behavior, development, and emotional regulation. Child abuse may result in negative attachment styles that carry on throughout generations, perpetuating a cycle of abuse within families.
How can we prevent violence?
Preventing domestic violence and dating violence often begins with promoting healthy relationships through educational initiatives that teach young people how to communicate, manage emotions, and address conflict effectively.
Social justice programs in the community can educate people on the risk factors for domestic violence, how to recognize if someone is in immediate danger, and how to report it. Communities can also help by supporting outreach programs, domestic violence shelters, and other resources that provide safety, financial help, mental health assistance, and other types of support for survivors.
What are the most common causes of violence?
Often, domestic violence occurs due to a complex combination of factors. People who perpetrate violence often experience or witness domestic violence as a child. They may hold deep-seated beliefs about domination, discipline, and control. Aversive attachment styles, childhood aggression, mental health issues, and poor emotional regulation/behavioral control are also common risk factors.
Who is impacted the most by domestic violence?
According to The American Academy of Family Physicians (AAFP), intimate partner violence "disproportionately affects vulnerable populations such as women, children, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, and intersex individuals, and those living in poverty, among others." The Centers for Disease Control also reports that women are more at risk for intimate partner violence, sexual violence, and stalking than their male counterparts.
Children are significantly impacted by domestic abuse, as well. The National Crime Victimization Survey reports that "1 in 15 children are exposed to intimate partner violence each year, and 90% of these children are eyewitnesses to this violence."
How does violence affect individuals and communities?
Domestic violence has a significant physical, psychological, social, and financial impact on individuals. Its impacts are typically long-term, and survivors often require extensive support from friends, loved ones, and communities to move forward and heal.
Domestic violence affects the social fabric of a community, contributing to fear, tension, and decreased overall well-being. It also has extensive impacts on economic functioning in communities. For example, injuries and mental health issues incurred from domestic violence can increase healthcare expenses. Legal cases and incarcerating offenders may burden the criminal justice system financially. Survivors might experience workplace difficulties that impact productivity and overall financial health.
What are the short-term effects of violence?
In cases of physical violence, short-term effects may include injuries such as bruises, broken bones, and internal trauma. The emotional effects can consist of symptoms of PTSD, shock, changes in eating and sleep patterns, overwhelming fear, and severe damage to self-esteem.
What are the psychological effects of violence?
The psychological effects of violence can vary in type and intensity between people, but they typically result in significant distress, and recovery can be difficult and painful.
For example, psychological trauma may result in anxiety, depression, nightmares, flashbacks, and intrusive thoughts, which can persist long after the violent event. People subjected to violence often live in a state of heightened fear and vigilance, expecting danger or harm.
Violence can strain relationships and social connections. People experiencing abusive behavior may isolate themselves due to fear or shame and have difficulties trusting others and feeling safe, even in non-threatening situations.
Often, abusers manipulate their target into blaming themselves for the violence they've endured, potentially creating feelings of guilt and shame. Some individuals may turn to substance use or self-harm as a way to cope with the trauma of abuse.
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