Resources To Help Cope With Domestic Violence
In daily conversations with friends, family, and co-workers, talking about domestic violence may be unusual, uncomfortable, and even taboo. Yet despite the cultural silence around domestic violence, millions of people may witness or experience this form of violence during their lifetimes. Many helpful resources may be available for survivors of abuse, including the National Domestic Violence Hotline, the Love Is Respect Helpline, the National Sexual Assault Hotline, Women’sLaw.org, The Network/La Red, NCALL, and more. Working with a therapist in person or online can also provide you with the resources and guidance you deserve.
What is domestic violence?
In discussions of domestic violence, you may also hear about intimate partner violence (IPV). IPV generally describes abuse or aggression that occurs in romantic relationships, but not necessarily between people who live in the same space or household.
While the term “domestic violence” is often used interchangeably with “IPV,” IPV more broadly refers to violence or abuse between two people in an intimate relationship. Moving forward, we’ll primarily refer to domestic violence, but you can use either term depending on the abuse or relationship you’re trying to describe.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), one in four women and one in nine men typically experience severe intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner sexual violence, and/or intimate partner stalking.
Domestic abuse can also show up in queer relationships. The NCADV reports that 43.8% of lesbian women and 61.1% of bisexual women may have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime. The same forms of violence generally affect 26% of gay men and 37.3% of bisexual men, based on NCADV.
How to get help for domestic violence
There are several national resources for people experiencing domestic violence. If you’re looking for online domestic violence resources for professional support and strategies to cope, consider the following options:
1. The National Domestic Violence Hotline
This resource – which is often shortened to simply “The Hotline – is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. When you contact The Hotline, highly trained and expert advocates may provide free and compassionate support, including crisis intervention tools and referral services. The Hotline can offer guidance in over 200 languages.
You can call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), use their live chat feature, or send a text, whichever mode feels the safest and most comfortable for you. When you reach out, the advocate will typically ensure that you’re in a safe place to talk, ask about your current coping strategies and self-care plan, and help you brainstorm next steps.
2. Love is Respect Helpline
The Love Is Respect project, also called the National Dating Abuse Helpline, is an extension of The Hotline (see #1). Its advocates usually focus on providing 24/7 support to young people between the ages of 13 and 26 who may have questions or concerns about romantic relationships.
Similar to The Hotline, Love Is Respect normally offers information and resources via phone call, text, and live chat, all of which are free. An advocate may listen to your concerns, help you craft a safety plan, and/or connect you to local resources to provide further support.
To reach out, you may call 1-866-331-9474 or 800.787.3224 (TTY), text 'LOVEIS' to 22522, or use the chat feature on their website.
3. National Sexual Assault Hotline
This hotline is supported by the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), reported to be the largest anti-sexual violence organization in the U.S.
When you call their hotline at 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE), you’ll usually connect with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area. They can provide free support, which may include:
- Finding a health facility in your area that is trained to care for survivors of sexual assault
- Offering a compassionate, listening ear to talk you through what happened
- Providing basic information about medical concerns and local laws related to sexual abuse
- Discussing next steps in your healing journey and referrals for long-term support in your area
All RAINN hotline affiliates are typically trained sexual assault service providers recruited from organizations or agencies across the U.S. You can trust their expertise as well as their firm adherence to RAINN standards.
4. WomensLaw.org
WomensLaw.org is an award-winning legal organization that can provide legal information to anyone with questions regarding domestic violence, sexual violence, and related topics. Despite its name, these services are normally available to people of all genders, not just women.
For U.S.-based legal support, you can contact their email hotline. All emails may be answered or reviewed by a licensed attorney. WomenLaw.org tends to focus on several legal subspecialties, including immigration rules, domestic violence in the military, and housing under the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA).
5. The Network/La Red
In addition to calling The Hotline (#1), people experiencing domestic violence in queer relationships may also consider a resource designed specifically for survivors in LGBTQ+ communities. The Network/La Red is a survivor-led organization that can provide free, 24/7 emotional support for anyone experiencing domestic violence in the LGBTQ+ community.
Their trained hotline staff provide information, referrals, safety planning, and crisis intervention services. If you’re looking to connect with other survivors, The Network frequently holds support groups throughout the year. To contact their hotline, call 617-742-4911 (voice) or 800-832-1901 (Toll-Free).
Please note: If you identify with the LGBTQIA+ community and are looking for more generalized information and mental health support, you can contact the LGBT National Hotline at 888-843-4564 or the Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386.
6. National Clearinghouse on Abuse in Later Life (NCALL)
Domestic violence can affect people of all ages. There are several groups eager to aid all survivors, and they often recognize how domestic violence counseling can help in a variety of ways. Driven by this reality, NCALL typically offers advocacy and resources for older survivors of abuse. Their website includes a wealth of information about safety planning, crisis services, stories from older survivors, and other resources that can serve both survivors and allies.
While NCALL may not be a direct service provider and does not generally provide 24/7 crisis support, it can connect older survivors to local resources and providers. To contact NCALL staff for further direction, complete their online form.
Other domestic violence resources
In addition to the organizations we’ve highlighted, both the NCADV and NCALL offer lists of national resources for domestic violence and related concerns, organized by the diverse demographic needs of survivors.
These organizations often do incredible work to help survivors feel safe, empowered, and freed from the cycle of domestic violence. Some notable organizations can include:
- The Women Of Color Network, Inc., which manages several projects and resources to eliminate violence against all women, with an emphasis on women of color as leaders and advocates
- The Deaf Hotline, which offers 24-hour support to survivors in the Deaf, Deaf-Blind, Deaf-Disabled, and Hard-of-Hearing communities
- The StrongHearts Native Helpline, a domestic violence and dating violence helpline for American Indians and Alaska Natives, providing culturally appropriate support and advocacy daily from 7 AM to 10 PM CT
Therapy for domestic violence survivors
If you’ve experienced domestic violence and are beginning your healing journey, a therapist can offer emotional support as you connect with resources and providers in your area.
This may be an especially tumultuous period in your life, and the thought of commuting to an in-person therapy session could be an additional source of stress. To make it easier and more affordable to seek therapy, many mental health professionals now offer their services online using digital platforms. These therapists are usually thoroughly vetted and many have years of experience helping clients recover from abusive relationships.
Research shows that online therapy can be just as effective as face-to-face options. Many studies have specifically demonstrated the value of online cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which can help reframe negative thoughts associated with certain events to promote healthier behaviors.
Online CBT can be used to treat many mental health conditions, including PTSD, which affects some survivors of domestic violence. In a 2016 study, researchers demonstrated the value of an online, therapist-guided program for PTSD related to sexual violence: after completing the 14-week program, they typically found medium to large improvements in participants’ symptoms of anxiety and depression.
Takeaway
What is the most common profession for domestic violence?
While statistics may vary depending on their source and how a study is conducted, one of the most common professions for domestic violence may be police officers. According to Temple University, 40% of police families experience domestic violence. This statistic comes from the document Hearing before the Select Committee on Children, Youth, and Families, House of Representatives: 102 Congress, First Session, May 20th, which details a congressional hearing in 1991.
During this hearing, Leanor Boulin Johnson (a professor at Arizona State University at that time) detailed a survey she conducted of 728 police officers and 479 police spouses. The previously stated statistic comes from a part of her testimony where she noted that 40% of the officers questioned reported acting violently toward their family members, specifically their children or spouses.
What are the sources for family violence information?
According to the Family & Children’s Trust Fund of Virginia, sources for family violence information may include the following.
- National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System
- Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System
- The Children’s Bureau (An Office of the Administration for Children & Families)
- Child Welfare Information Gateway
- Childhood Violent Trauma Center
- Office of Children’s Services
There may also be state-specific websites and programs that can provide reliable family violence information and domestic violence prevention information. These may include your state's Department of Health, Department of Social Services, or Department of Health and Human Resources. In addition, it may be helpful to look up services in your community that assist the survivors of domestic violence. These can range from an emergency shelter meant to help those immediately after a violent event to counseling centers that can offer mental health care in order to address the long-term consequences of intimate partner violence.
What health issues does domestic violence cause?
Domestic violence can cause a number of physical and mental health disorders depending on the nature of the abuse and the duration that it occurs. According to the American Psychiatric Association, two disorders that have been linked to domestic violence are post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and depression. Domestic violence may also have a number of other effects on survivors (sometimes incorrectly referred to as “victims of domestic violence”); these effects can include an increase in stress, more frequent feelings of fear and isolation, and difficulty forming new relationships.
What type of relationship has the highest domestic violence rate?
Which types of relationships have the highest domestic violence rates can vary based on numerous factors, including what sources are used. For example, an article published in the University of Pennsylvania's publication Penn Today found that domestic violence may be more common in relationships where the partners are dating but not married. Researchers found that 82.1% of incidents involving intimate partner violence occurred with a current or former dating partner, while less than 15% involved a current spouse. It's important to note that these statistics apply specifically to the Philadelphia area and may vary based on location.
Who initiates domestic violence more?
Determining who initiates domestic violence more often may be difficult and can depend on a number of factors. For example, one study found that 24% of all relationships involved intimate partner violence, with 49.7% including violence perpetrated by both partners (also known as reciprocal violence.) In relationships involving nonreciprocal violence, women were found to be the perpetrators in over 70% of cases. In addition, reciprocity was associated with a higher rate of violence among women but not men. However, the study found that men were more likely to inflict injury than women, and reciprocal violence was associated with a greater chance of injury regardless of the perpetrator’s gender.
What are the 7 areas of abuse?
The 7 areas of abuse typically refer to types of elder abuse, such as neglect, self-neglect, emotional abuse, financial abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and abandonment.
- Neglect: Failure to meet an elder’s basic needs, even in the event of a medical emergency.
- Self-Neglect: Allowing an elder to live in a manner that puts them at risk of harm.
- Emotional Abuse: Nonverbal and verbal behaviors meant to cause fear or emotional distress.
- Financial Abuse: Improper use of an older person’s income, possessions, or assets. This improper use typically involves funding the purchase of items that do not benefit or involve the elder in question.
- Physical Abuse: The infliction of pain or injury through the use of physical force.
- Sexual Abuse: Nonconsensual sexual interactions of any kind.
- Abandonment: The willful desertion of an elder by a caregiver.
What is the most common form abuse?
One of the most common forms of abuse is emotional and psychological abuse. While domestic violence can occur to individuals of any gender, the Domestic Violence Center of Chester Country found that 48.4% of women and 48.8% of men* in the United States will experience this type of abuse from an intimate partner at some point in their lives. In addition, 95% of those engaging in physical abuse will also emotionally or psychologically abuse their partners.
The consequences of emotional and psychological abuse can be significant, with 7 out of 10 women who experience this type of abuse displaying symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Those experiencing this or any type of abuse may consider seeking legal assistance and the support of a mental health professional. It may also be helpful to visit loved ones and discuss the subject of financial assistance and temporary shelter, as the transition out of an abusive relationship can be difficult and potentially dangerous.
What state has the most domestic violence cases?
According to DomesticViolence.org, the state with the highest domestic violence rate in the United States is Oklahoma. While domestic violence can occur to individuals of any gender, the Oklahoma State Department of Health estimates that 40% of women and 38% of men in Oklahoma will experience domestic violence at some point in their lives. These instances vary but may include intimate partner violence, rape, and stalking. In addition, high school students may face a significant risk of intimate partner violence, with 1 in 14 individuals experiencing physical dating violence and 1 in 15 individuals experiencing recent sexual dating violence.
What percent of marriages have domestic violence?
According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, almost 20% of marriages and intimate partnerships involve domestic violence. These relationships often involve concurrent emotional abuse that can be more common among young couples. However, some abusive relationships may center more around physical violence with little to no emotional abuse, which may be referred to as situational couple violence. The violence in these relationships often occurs in acute episodes that relate to specific conflicts that escalate quickly from verbal disagreements to physical force.
What are the 4 main types of intimate partner violence?
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), there are four main types of intimate partner violence: sexual violence, physical violence, psychological aggression, and stalking.
- Physical Violence: Physical violence can take multiple forms, many of which can cause pain, injury, or even death. These may include pushing, punching, choking, burning, and the use of weaponry or other implements.
- Sexual Violence: The CDC separates sexual violence into five categories, including rape, unwanted sexual contact, non-physical pressure resulting in unwanted penetration, forcing an individual to penetrate someone else, and non-contact unwanted sexual experiences.
- Psychological Aggression: Psychological aggression or emotional abuse is the use of communication (verbal and nonverbal) that is intended to control or cause harm. These actions may include insults, humiliation, threats of violence, exploitation, or manipulation tactics like gaslighting.
- Stalking: Stalking occurs when an individual repeatedly makes unwanted contact with a person, causing them to fear for their (or a loved one’s) safety. This behavior can take multiple forms, including calling, texting, showing up to someone’s school or place of work, sending unwanted gifts, monitoring someone, or breaking into their home. There is also a digital form of this type of behavior known as cyberstalking, where a person makes unwanted contact through the internet and various online means, like direct messages or email.
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