Why Does My Mother Hate Me?

At some point in their lives, everyone experiences issues with their parents. These may be minor disagreements or full scale arguments, but in most cases, the situation resolves itself and things usually return to normal. How many times have we heard someone say "my mother hates me" and then the following day, everything is forgiven and forgotten?


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However, there can be sometimes such regular hostility between relatives that it can appear as though there is genuine resentment from the mother towards her child. This is a concerning situation for any child to find themselves in, as it can cause a severe state of unhappiness, confusion, and can be massively detrimental to their mental growth. Our parents are supposed to love us without question, so what could have gone so wrong that it caused a constant rift between mother and child?

Why does it bother me?

Although you may have come to terms with the fact you and your mother aren't on good terms, it is still a hurtful situation to process internally. It is human nature to want to please others - it provides us with a deep fulfilment and sense of achievement. When it comes to pleasing our parents in particular, we experience an even more profound sense of joy as we are naturally hard-wired to make them proud of us.


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I don't understand why my mother hates me so much

There is, of course, no 'one' reason why a mother may dislike their child, but there are some solid generalizations we can draw on. Firstly, what a child may mistake for 'hate' may actually be a form of love, albeit one which the mother is struggling to portray. You may be familiar with the philosophical statement that a child's greatest obstacle is the unlived life of their parents. This means that the mother will push their child in order for them surpass the achievements of themselves. In this instance, 'hate' is in fact a disguised form of encouragement.


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It's entirely possible that your mother is jealous of something about you. Perhaps your looks, your confidence, or your successes. We must realize that our mothers are flawed human beings just like everyone else; a person whose emotions can occasionally get the better of them. Jealousy can often be the hardest emotion for a person to control, and while the parent may be aware that they shouldn't be jealous of anything about their child, jealousy can manifest in many different ways, including making the person hostile or distant.

The most important thing to remember is that how your mother treats you is not a reflection of your worth, but a reflection of her misunderstanding of how love, relationships, and the world works. You must accept that if your mother does indeed take issue with you, it is something internal to her which is making her act this way. She needs to address the issue with herself, not with you.

If you believe that it may be something that you have done to cause her to act the way she is, then you can seek professional, specific advice on your circumstances, in order to help you address the problem.



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