My Life Is Very Good, So Why Can't I Be Happy And Enjoy Every Day?

What Makes Us Happy?

In the world of psychology, happiness generally means a state of positive well-being in reaction to your personal quality of life. Happiness is a temporary emotion that can be incited by small positive incidents in our lives in the present moment – receiving good news, accomplishing a goal, interacting with friends and family, etc. – but happiness as a general life attitude can be harder to achieve.

Research suggests that our overall happiness with life may be strongly associated with our satisfaction with and quality of life. Those who consider themselves to be content in their lives tend to be happier, while those who are less content with their lives – whether that’s due to social disruption, financial worries, or other stressors – are less likely to be happy overall. There is also evidence of a correlation between the amount of control we feel in our lives and how content we are. 

The Company You Keep

Most people have a set network of social circles that they operate within daily – family, friends, teachers, coworkers, and other people you see regularly may feature in these circles. The people that we associate with can affect our mental state; according to recent research, the social connections we make are one of the strongest indicators of our happiness and have a significant impact on our overall quality of life.

If you keep asking yourself “how can I be happy?”, the answer may be because of the people in your life that you spend time with don't bring out the best moods in you. Track how you're feeling after spending time with people, and consider limiting your exposure to people who make you feel anything less than positive.  

If you find that you are frequently disquieted or upset after interacting with certain people or social groups, they may be negatively impacting your happiness and mental health.

Those who find themselves consuming this “perfected” content may begin comparing their own lives to those they see on social media and feeling dissatisfied in their own lives. 

Stress, A Lack Of Direction, Or Mental Health Conditions

Moderate amounts of stress are usually considered normal and may support our happiness by providing us with a reasonable challenge that results in a sense of accomplishment. That being said, excess stress can have severe negative effects on our mental, emotional, and even physical health. 

If you are living in a stressful situation – such as having an unstable home life, working in a taxing job, or studying a difficult subject in school – for which you don't have appropriate coping strategies or outlets, you may find yourself at risk for higher levels of dissatisfaction and unhappiness in your life, or even at higher risk for certain medical conditions.

Your stress may not be coming from an external source, however. Feeling as if you aren't in control of your life or as if you aren't living up to the expectations of those around you can cause you to feel unhappy. You may find yourself feeling tense and unsatisfied if you don't have or are unsure of your personal goals to follow, as this can leave you stressed about finding your purpose or direction in life.

Beyond this, some people may be predisposed to certain mental health conditions that can make it difficult to be content. Those who have a disposition toward mood disorders such as depression or anxiety may find it harder to find happiness even without obvious sources of stress or disruption.

Happy ending stories are proof that amidst circumstances, happiness is just around the corner. If you are unhappy in your life, know that you do not have to be unhappy forever. Discontentment is a temporary state that you can take steps to resolve and create a better future. Consider the following.

If you find that your stress and unhappiness are coming from your social circles, you may try limiting your contact with negative influences. If you have friends who are making you unhappy, consider distancing yourself from them and spending more time with the people who do make you feel good. 

In the case of coworkers, you may try limiting your contact with them to necessary contact as well, or, in more extreme cases, seeing if you can be transferred to another position or department. If your coworker is actively harassing you, know that you are well within your rights to report them to the appropriate internal authorities such as a human resources department or manager.

If you accept you can’t control the behavior of others, but can only control your reaction to it, this may help keep the situation in perspective.