Turning Yourself Into A Person Who Spreads Happiness

Happiness can be subjective, with each person conceiving of and pursuing this emotion in distinct ways. According to positive psychology researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky, happiness is the experience of joy, contentment, and well-being combined with a sense that life is meaningful and worthwhile. 

Some people struggle with not knowing how to be happy. From that experience, they have difficulty comprehending how to motivate happiness in others when they don’t know how to find it themselves. At times, turning the intention of happiness away from the self may help individuals find joy in themselves.

To get started, it may help to be willing to ask yourself why you lack emotional fulfillment and inner joy. You can use a few strategies to go about this and start supporting others.   

Are you struggling to find happiness in yourself?

Before you focus on others, ask yourself what might be keeping you from happiness in your life. You may have noticed that others feel distressed or worse when around you, or you may be creating scenarios about how they perceive you. Recognizing traits in yourself that may cause others to feel invaluable may reflect how you internally struggle with feeling valued by yourself.  

In speaking with your friends and family, they may be able to show you parts of yourself that are blocking self-love and self-appreciation. At times, what people dislike most inside themselves can be reflected in the treatment of others. 

If your loved ones struggle to support you, you can seek support from a mental health professional. You may discover during therapy sessions that your mental health is the cause of your internal issues and that there are evidence-based ways to improve how you feel and act each day.  

Is there a connection between mental health and happiness?

Chronic stress and maladaptive thoughts can exact a toll on your mental and physical health. Additionally, unmanaged stress that does not subside can increase your risk factors for developing anxiety disorders, heart disease, and diabetes. 

You may be experiencing extra stress because of work or relationship conflicts. Depression can also be a stressful factor. If you’re experiencing inner turmoil, you might be uncertain how to offer happiness to others if you don’t feel it. However, if you can look within and practice positive thought engagement, you may find that your stress is relieved, and you can give happiness to others and yourself.  

What does it look like to spread happiness?

Someone who brings happiness may spread positive energy to those around them, attempting to make them feel valued. Contrarily, someone who doesn’t offer happiness and takes energy from others might exude an egocentric personality or ask for too much from those they care about. These behaviors or how people talk about themselves can impact the health of relationships. 

Neuroscience explains this effect, founded in mirror neurons – neurological pathways that fire when individuals observe behavior in a fellow human that mimics what was observed. Research has revealed that these neurons may be responsible for the effects of sadness or anger after seeing someone sad or angry. Concomitantly, witnessing joyous events or being around someone happy can lift your spirits and cause you to smile.

How to bring happiness to others

If you wish to make others around you happy, start by internalizing a state of calm, humor, and contentment. Act confidently around those you love and set healthy boundaries so you do not spend time with others when you’re not ready to. Below are a few other options you can consider.  

Perform acts of kindness 

When you ask someone to define happiness, they may give you different perspectives. Some people feel it is a state of joy, and others may feel it is an achievable state of satisfaction or well-being. In psychology, there is a distinction between the two states of being. 

Joy refers to a feeling or an emotion, while satisfaction is a cognitive condition. Attaining joy or satisfaction is different for each person. However, a person’s relationships play a central role in positive affect and enjoyment of life. Whether you define happiness as deriving from your internal feelings of joy or your cognitive reflection of satisfaction, you can have a positive influence by performing acts of kindness. 

Acts of kindness may include but are not limited to the following: 

• Writing a kind note to someone you love
• Performing acts of service, like taking out the trash when someone is sick
• Opening a door for a stranger
• Helping someone when they fall 
• Being empathetic in the face of adversity 

Gratitude

Positive psychology research has shown that the act of gratitude is directly correlated with increased levels of happiness. When you send a thank you note or express gratitude to someone near you, you show them you recognize their actions and encourage goodwill. Furthermore, spending time each day to reflect and write down what you are grateful for can improve your outlook and help you appreciate what is around you.

Volunteer

Kindness and helpful behavior is a measure of altruism (selfless concern for the well-being of others) that impacts the emotional state of those who give and receive. Find an organization or cause that you believe will positively impact the world. Giving your time can benefit your community while bringing a sense of fulfillment and joy within yourself and to the people you help.  

Smile

Research has revealed that smiling and laughing cause a change in areas of the brain responsible for feelings of well-being and satisfaction. Moreover, when you smile at another person, they are compelled to return the smile due to the mirror neurological system, which creates an immediate positive response in both smiling parties. 

Practice kindness

Practicing kindness is an act that does not necessarily have to occur with other people. People are sometimes critical of their actions and thoughts, which can influence their internal attitudes of self-compassion and satisfaction. Allowing yourself space to make mistakes and appreciating your qualities could lift your confidence and self-respect. In being kind to yourself, you can be loving to others.

Cultivate happiness with online therapy

According to the American Psychological Association, well-being is a state of happiness and contentment characterized by low levels of distress, a healthy state of mind, a healthy body, and a high quality of life. While these characteristics may seem impossible to attain at once, working daily for your well-being can impact your ability to manage stress. 

Mental health professionals are trained to help you lower your distress and find healthy ways to cope with life’s challenges. There is a subset of psychology known as positive psychology that focuses on enabling individuals to discover their strengths and build strategies for flourishing as human beings. Even if you face barriers to therapy, like distance, cost, or availability needs, you can partake in positive psychology online through platforms like BetterHelp. 

Research shows that virtual therapy is as effective as in-person therapy. For example, studies have found that online counseling is a highly effective tool for people experiencing a lack of emotional vitality or happiness. In a study published in Internet Interventions—a peer-reviewed scientific journal—researchers examined the effects of online motivational therapy and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) in people struggling with adverse thinking patterns and poor motivation. Researchers found that online interventions created positive changes, with participants reporting favorable outcomes after treatment. Combined with CBT, these therapy approaches help individuals understand and replace maladaptive thoughts with affirmative thoughts and actions. 

With an online therapy platform, you can reach out to your licensed therapist anytime through messages. When you have an issue to discuss, need to ask a question, or want to talk, you can receive a response when your therapist is available. In addition, you can schedule weekly sessions via phone calls, video calls, or live messaging.