How To Cope With Loneliness: Seven Tips To Try
Have you ever felt alone in the world? Feeling lonely can be painful and isolating, and can make it difficult to figure out how to move forward.
If you’re experiencing this, first know that you are not alone.
Dealing with loneliness isn't always easy, but there's much you can do to try to regain that sense of connection and belonging. There are effective ways you can cope with loneliness, and professional treatment is available if you're in need.
Seven tips for navigating loneliness
Included below are seven tips for navigating feelings of loneliness, some of which may be more helpful for you than others. Consider which methods might be most useful to you as you try to move forward.
1. Recognize that loneliness is common
Sometimes, just knowing that many others around the globe are experiencing the same feelings of loneliness can be helpful. As mentioned above, nearly 40% of Americans feel “serious loneliness” according to one study, and another study found that more than three in five Americans—around 60%—are lonely.
It is possible to feel lonely even if you have a loved one, significant other, children, or lots of friends. If you are feeling lonely, remembering that there are millions of others feeling the same way may help to reduce the perception of isolation.
2. Nurture existing relationships
Loneliness can make us pull away from our relationships, even when we desire them the most. By nurturing the relationships you already have, you may start to feel more connected and may develop deeper bonds that help you feel less alone. When the people you love or care about seem distant, it can be hard to take the first step towards strengthening those bonds.
Here are some ideas for connecting again:
- Start with something small, like a text message or phone call.
- Schedule time each day or week for calling or visiting a friend.
- Create recurring weekly plans with a friend or loved one, like watching a favorite TV show together each week.
- Invite someone over for dinner.
- Start conversations with neighbors when you can.
- Use social media to reconnect with those with whom you've lost touch due to time or distance.
3. Practice positive self-talk
When we’re feeling lonely, it can be easy to get caught up in negative thought patterns about ourselves that make us feel even worse and even more alone. We might say things like, “no one wants to be around me,” or “I’m no fun to be around, anyways.”
To combat this, try to incorporate more positive self-talk, to show yourself a bit more compassion and self-love. Make an effort towards catching these negative thoughts and replacing them with a positive message instead. Talking positively about yourself and your life can change how you view yourself and how you go about your day. The process of positive self-talk may take practice, but it can be a key piece of addressing loneliness.
4. Try a new hobby
Boredom can add weight on top of loneliness, giving us time to ruminate and stew in negative feelings. If you're already dealing with feelings of loneliness or social isolation, sitting by yourself in boredom likely won’t help very much. Instead, try to find something you enjoy to occupy your time and give your mind something else which to focus.
Hobbies that you do by yourself can be fun and beneficial, but it may be even better to attempt ones that get you out more and allow you to connect with others. For instance, if you love knitting and often do it by yourself, maybe you can find a club or group to knit with instead. Or, if you like to cook or paint, maybe you can try a cooking class or art class.
5. Find volunteer opportunities
One way to combat loneliness is by putting yourself in places where you can meet new, like-minded people. But sometimes just going out into public places doesn't do the trick, especially for people with shyness or social anxiety. By volunteering, you're not only putting yourself in a place where you can meet people, but you'll also be focused on a task. This may help prevent feelings of awkwardness that might arise in more open-ended, unstructured situations. It can also give you something to look forward to if you're struggling with finding meaning in your life.
Another benefit of volunteering is that you can choose a cause that interests you so that the people you meet are likely to connect with your interests. For example, if you love animals, you might consider volunteering at a local animal shelter.
6. Recognize the effects so you can combat them
Loneliness can have a range of effects on an individual’s physical health and mental health. Studies show that loneliness and social isolation can increase blood pressure, weaken your immune system, and affect brain functioning. Loneliness can also disrupt your sleep and negatively impact your eating patterns and exercise levels.
Finally, loneliness can also affect your mental health. Loneliness and social isolation are frequently associated with depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and more. Loneliness is also a common feeling among individuals with suicidal thoughts. If you are experiencing loneliness, it is not something to take lightly—it can have wide-ranging negative effects, so it is important to address it.
If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at (800) 662-4357 to receive support and resources. Support is available 24/7.
If you or a loved one are experiencing suicidal thoughts, reach out for help immediately. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline can be reached at 988 and is available 24/7.
7. Seek professional help
Navigating feelings of loneliness can be difficult, but you don’t have to do it alone: professional help is available. If you are experiencing feelings of loneliness and need support, you can speak with your doctor or a mental health professional for help. In some cases, a persistent feeling of loneliness could be tied to depression, in which case, your doctor may suggest a range of treatment options, such as therapy and/or medication.
A therapist can help you explore the factors behind your feelings and find ways to cope and move forward. Other concerns surrounding your emotions can be addressed in treatment as well. For example, if you've recently lost someone in the family or a close friend, you may be experiencing both loneliness and grief. Having an experienced professional there to support you through the healing process can make all the difference.
How online therapy can help
Sometimes, you might feel lonely because of your location or because of a mental health condition. If you are in a relatively isolated area where you have few resources and treatment facilities, seeking professional help might seem impossible. Similarly, if you are experiencing depression, the prospect of going out and seeking help may feel very difficult. In situations like these, online therapy such as BetterHelp can be beneficial. Since counseling takes place through an online platform, you can connect with your therapist virtually from any place you feel comfortable and have an internet connection.
Research has found online therapy to be an effective option for reducing feelings of loneliness. For instance, one such study found that internet-based cognitive behavioral therapy “can be an efficacious option for alleviating loneliness.”
Take a look at some BetterHelp counselor reviews from individuals who have sought help for similar concerns:
BetterHelp counselor reviews
"Peter is very caring. He is a good listener and gives me good tools to deal with my problems. I feel supported and less alone. I highly recommend him as a counselor. He has helped me through very difficult times."
"I have a lot of high stressors happening in my life right now, it has been extremely beneficial to have someone from the outside looking in to help me see what I do not and be able to have someone helping guide me through it. I appreciate being able to have a constant conversation and send a message when it is most convenient. I have a busy life right now and knowing I have someone to talk to (if I need too) every day has made me feel less alone and capable of achieving my goals."
Takeaway
How do you deal with loneliness without people?
Loneliness can be a challenging experience when you feel isolated or lost without people to connect with, especially when it can lead to feelings similar to depression. However, there are ways you can manage your feelings, such as discovering new hobbies or spending time on the ones you already enjoy. Mindfulness and self-care can help with negative thoughts or feelings of loneliness, like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), yoga, or meditation.
Why is loneliness important to solve?
Surveys have shown that 60% of people experience loneliness on a regular basis in America alone. With an age range from 18-65+, loneliness has a significant impact on over 200 million people. Loneliness can have several adverse effects on both physical and mental well-being, including developing mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, and personality disorders.
Loneliness has also had a direct link with Alzheimer's Disease, affecting early onset and increased decline for those already diagnosed. Loneliness is a big concern for both the medical and mental health fields, especially because not everyone has the opportunity to afford care from either.
How do you deal with lonely people?
If you have a friend, a family member, or know someone who experiences loneliness and want to reach out to them, you can do several things that may help. You may encourage social interaction by suggesting they join meetup groups where they can hang out with people who enjoy the same things that they do.
Local libraries often have schedules for various events or groups, such as a book club or gaming. One of the most significant things you can do for someone who feels lonely is to spend time with them in person, listen to their feelings, and comfort them. Having someone to lean on or just be present can be just what they need to reduce feelings of loneliness.
What is the best way to overcome loneliness?
Some of the best ways that may help you feel less lonely are to engage in your hobbies, try new things, or join groups where you can be around others who enjoy the same things that you do. If in-person meetups feel overwhelming, you might try meeting people online through gaming or in groups that have your interests.
If you've felt lonely for a long time and you're worried about your emotional health, you may reach out to a therapist to have someone who you can talk to about your challenges and learn how to overcome them through the tools and resources they can provide.
What will you do if you see someone lonely or sad?
If you notice someone who seems lonely, whether it's someone from school, work, or another social setting, you can try to engage them. You might see if you have anything in common to build a friendship with them, or you could offer to help them meet new people by going with them to social events or group activities.
Sometimes, someone who's feeling lonely or experiencing symptoms of depression or anxiety related to loneliness needs another person to be present and listen to their feelings. If you feel uncomfortable reaching out in that way or you're concerned for their mental health, you might gently offer them mental health resources that can connect them with a therapist who can better help them.
How do you embrace a lonely life?
Learning to embrace your loneliness can be challenging, but it can also open you up to a whole new world where you can focus on yourself, your goals, and your personal development. Shifting your perspective to where you enjoy your own company and appreciate your solitude may include practicing mindfulness, gratitude, and new self-care routines.
Once you feel comfortable with yourself and your alone time, you can focus on what you want to do and how much time you want to spend on it. If you still struggle with alone time, you might try something like dog walking. Dog walkers spend all their time with new pets and taking them out for walks all over the area. It can be a great way to enjoy new company and get outside where you can appreciate nature.
How do lonely people stay happy?
Loneliness can be difficult to manage when it's paired with feelings of depression and anxiety, but many people have found ways to enjoy their solitude and manage their symptoms. They might enjoy regular movie nights, staying caught up on shows, or exploring books or music. They often have solo activities they enjoy, like exercising, yoga, or going outdoors for hiking or camping.
Many follow routines for their mental health, such as practicing mindfulness through meditation or CBT or finding a therapist who can help them manage their negative thoughts and feelings. Therapists can be great for people who feel lonely because they'll always have someone they can talk to who'll listen without judgment and offer strategies on how they can overcome their loneliness.
What happens when people feel lonely?
People who experience loneliness may feel overwhelming sadness, both general and social anxiety, low self-esteem, and pessimism. They may have difficulty sleeping, trouble focusing, and lack motivation. Prolonged or severe loneliness may result in the development of certain mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, or personality disorders.
How do lonely people behave?
People may behave or express themselves differently based on their personality, experiences, and circumstances. Many people who experience loneliness may express pessimism or cynicism. Others may feel distrustful of others or withdraw from social interactions even though they feel lonely. They may have difficulty forming or maintaining relationships in their personal, romantic, or professional lives. In some more severe cases, they may develop eating disorders, substance use disorders, or other negative coping habits.
How can loneliness affect an individual's life?
Loneliness can impact an individual in many ways. They may feel anxious around other people or in social situations. Low self-esteem can be a common symptom of loneliness, which comes with a negative self-image and self-concept and translates to how they talk about or treat themselves.
Some people may get sick more often or struggle with chronic headaches. Loneliness may lead to a higher risk of developing mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, or personality disorders. There has also been a link with increased risks of heart disease, stroke, and early onset Alzheimer's Disease or worsened symptoms in those who've been diagnosed.
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