How Do I Know If I'm Ready To Fall In Love?

Are you unsure whether you're ready for a relationship or asking yourself, am I ready to fall in love? Maybe you haven't started a relationship yet and think you want one, but you feel unsure where to start or how to find someone you have a deep connection with. Perhaps you have feelings for someone but are unsure whether you are ready to commit to them. Like the old adage says, you don’t choose who you fall in love with. But can you choose when you’re ready?

Before asking yourself, "Will I ever find love?" assess yourself first if you're ready to be in one. Maybe you’re on dating apps and searching for someone to connect with but haven’t had much success, or you’re in the beginning stages of a relationship but unsure about moving forward. Below is a discussion of some of the possible signs you're ready to embark on a journey toward creating a loving relationship that lasts, regardless of whether you're looking for a romantic partnership or a platonic relationship, with or without a sexual component. 

Am I ready to fall in love? The signs you’re ready for a romantic relationship

The signs that you’re ready for love are discussed below. These things can be beneficial before you enter into an intimate relationship; you don't necessarily have to have all of these in place at once to start a fulfilling partnership.

You love yourself

Perhaps the most important sign that you’re ready for love is that you love yourself. You may not feel ready to love someone else until you learn to love yourself. Loving yourself as a whole person and being comfortable in your own skin can mean seeing yourself honestly, being confident, compassionate, and forgiving to yourself, and being respectful of your own boundaries and time. 

Starting from a positive space may matter because it can make it easier to love someone and continue a healthy, long-lasting relationship with them. When you feel good about yourself, you may know your self-worth. You may be in touch with the things that make you happy, feel you don't need another person to fulfill you, and believe that love will come in its own time.

Loving yourself may help you set healthy boundaries, and a loving partner will often acknowledge and respect those boundaries. Having solid boundaries can make a relationship healthy and strong.

If you're already in a romantic relationship, you may not necessarily need to leave the relationship to find self-love. Practicing self-care, such as exercising, spending time in nature, or practicing meditation, may help you find self-love while already partnered. 

Additionally, if you find yourself mistreated, loving yourself can mean you feel more able to walk away. However, if you're struggling to leave an abusive situation, you're not alone, and it isn't your fault. 

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for help, information, and resources.

You have financial stability

Having your own financial stability may be beneficial for many reasons. Even if you and your partner have a strong relationship and don't plan on parting ways, accidents and other unforeseen circumstances could happen. 

If something were to happen to your partner, you might be left in unfavorable circumstances if you are not financially stable on your own. Being financially stable on your own could also allow you to leave your partner if you need to make that choice. 

Financial stability may also allow you to fulfill lifetime goals with the person you choose to be with. You may hope to buy a house together or travel the globe. Maybe you want to start a family together. 

If you value financial stability, you might also want to make it a point to ensure your partner is financially stable before entering into a relationship with them. Studies show that problems with finances are one of the top reasons for divorce and breakups. 

You don’t need to seek constant distractions when you’re alone

The relationships you keep may be stronger and more meaningful when you go into them with a whole heart and an independent attitude. It could seem contradictory, but knowing how to be content with or even excited about being alone can be a good predictor of whether you're ready for a long-term relationship.

Your days may be filled with happiness and fun, with or without a partner. Maybe you spend a certain amount of time with your friends or enjoy a solitary brunch on the patio at your favorite restaurant. If you are happy with your own life, you may not need a romantic partner to make you feel fulfilled.

Being content with being alone can also mean that you can better wait for the right person to come along. In healthy relationships, partners may feel happy and content with themselves and one another. Studies show that healthy relationships can improve mental health as well. 

You can fairly negotiate domestic tasks in your own life

Although you may not want to move in with your new partner immediately, this decision might be in your future, or you may already live together. Think about how you want to navigate the nitty-gritty of daily living in the same space with another person. 

The person you love may not live life the same way that you do. The toilet seat could be left up overnight, or the toiletries in the bathroom could be moved around. You also may not have the same philosophy of what having a clean home means. 

In some cases, couples have different ideas about which partner does which domestic tasks. Navigate these conversations together and ensure that both you and your partner understand your expectations for one another. 

If your partner expects you to care for your children, clean the house, pay the bills, work a job, and care for their emotional well-being, you may not be in a healthy or balanced relationship. Studies show that an unfair division of domestic labor has been connected to toxic relationship dynamics. 

You have time to work on a healthy relationship

If you are in the middle of building your career and working long hours, it may not be the right time to look for an ideal partner. As mentioned earlier, financial stability is important; if you’re not there yet, it can be worth it to keep working on it. But this may mean not having a moment to yourself some days.

When you commit to a relationship, you often give your partner your time and attention. Even though the amount of time you have to spend at work might be beyond your control, you may consider it if you're deciding whether to date. 

If you spend a lot of time at work and not much time with your partner, you could risk your partner feeling undervalued or underappreciated. On the other hand, it can also be unhealthy to neglect your work life to make your partner happy. A healthy relationship often includes a healthy balance between work and home life.

You're not afraid to seek help

Life may not always feel enjoyable. Many people struggle with their daily lives and pasts. Working through and understanding your own complex emotions may aid you and your partner tremendously as you work to create a vibrant, fulfilling relationship.

Knowing how to ask for help has been shown to be a sign of maturity, and getting the help you need to keep yourself healthy can also benefit your relationship. 

If you are struggling with issues that affect your ability to start or live up to your partner’s desires, you may wish to speak to a licensed therapist. You can bring all your concerns, whether large or small, as they are clinically trained to assist you.

Online therapy can effectively ensure your and your partner's schedule can fit in time to talk with a therapist. You'll avoid the hassle of taking time out of your days to travel to an office separately. Online therapy is also highly adaptable to your needs, letting you use various tools and media to contact your therapist.

Relationship therapy has proven to have benefits lasting up to four years. A study from 2009 reported that couples who received tools through therapy for expressing their emotions enjoyed more vital communication and alignment of values. Single people can also benefit from therapy focused on relationship issues and goals.

If you want to try online therapy, consider a platform such as BetterHelp for individuals or Regain for couples. Stop thinking you’re alone and reach out for help. It can be a powerful first step in gaining insight into your relationship needs. 

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Jonathan White, LPCC

Jonathan has helped me so much in these past 10 months! He has helped me process situations, form good, positive, healthy habits, and encouraged me to do the things I love and get back out there and start dating again (even though it's scary)!! I HIGHLY recommend Jonathan.”