Rekindling The Spark In A Relationship: How To Fall Back In Love

By Mary Elizabeth Dean|Updated July 29, 2022

When the love you once felt for your partner dwindles, it can be a very stressful and rigorous event for all.

If you aren’t ready to say goodbye to the relationship, and you want to learn how to fall back in love, there are many things you and your partner can do. Learning new ways to express undying love is going to take a fair amount of dedication and attention from both of you, but it can be done! Read on if you'd like to dive deeper into how to stop falling in and out of love.

Let Date Night Make A Comeback

Not Sure How To Rekindle The Spark Of Love In Your Relationship?

What Is "The Spark" In A Relationship?

The spark refers to the special connection and natural high couples feel at the beginning of their relationships. During this time, the body’s hormones produce high dopamine levels which contribute to the excited and energetic feelings you experience as you develop respect, honesty, and friendship. The relationship is brand new and exciting and is full of fire, intimacy, and passion. It doesn’t take much effort to feel love or keep it going because those good feelings are enhancing the intimate connection and passion.

However, as time goes on, that excitement fades and the relationship becomes routine and boring. Because little effort was put into the relationship initially, most couples don't work to put more effort into their relationships at this turning point. Many people expect feelings of love to come effortless and don’t realize it often requires effort. Therefore, they grow to believe that what they and their partner feel is a sign that the relationship is ending, when this may not be the truth. As a result, they struggle in moving forward in their relationship because it requires them to get out of their comfort zone and put in the effort.

One of the top complaints from couples that struggle with losing the spark is feeling underappreciated or unimportant. If you are wondering how to fall in love again, setting aside a night once or twice a week to go on a date could be the perfect remedy for you.

When you choose a night, make sure it is a time when both of you will be energetic and happy. You don’t want to choose a night where you have been working overtime or may have done a million other things that day. You want to go into the date night with a clear mind and a happy heart.

Choose to do activities that you have never done before to spice it up. For example, you could go on a hike at a park you haven’t been to before, or try out a new restaurant. Making new memories together will strengthen your love. Developing new experiences and having adventures together helps you add passion and romance to your routine.

Communication is Key

As we settle into the comfort of a long term relationship, we can easily develop habits of not talking about our feelings. If this has happened to you, some communication tips might help.

If you are feeling the spark die, the best thing you can do is talk to your partner about this. If you stay up late at night thinking, “he doesn’t love me back,” how can your partner know you are feeling this way and help you if you don’t speak up?

Even if you are worried that you might make matters worse by talking, you need to do it anyway. Far too many couples put off the conversation for too long, only to have their relationship end because of it.

The last thing you want is to hold back your feelings for so long that it is too late to fix things. You love your partner, and you want the relationship to work, but perhaps you don’t know how to talk to them about it. You could consider, in this instance, consulting a licensed professional to assist you.

A counselor, therapist, or relationship coach is someone that can act as a mediator when you have conversations with your spouse. He or she may also be able to suggest exercises and other things you can do to strengthen and rebuild your love. If the question is, “can you fall back in love?” counseling may be the answer.

Give Credit Where It’s Due

When you are trying to learn how to fall back in love, recognition is key. Both your partner and yourself will be taking extra special care to make sure both of you are feeling happy and secure in these stages. You might not be able to get butterflies again, but you can reach a point where you share trust, support, and love. If you don’t acknowledge those efforts, you could be hurting your relationship in the long run.

If you notice your partner doing something special, like asking how your day was or cooking dinner after a long work day, don’t forget to say thank you. You want to be sure they know that you recognize the effort that they are putting in and that you are grateful for it. Have patience with each other as you work through this time and rebuild your connection.

If you feel you are being underappreciated, don’t be afraid to let your partner know of this, as well. He or she may not be aware that you want to be given credit for the extra things you are doing. You cannot hold this against them, as you know, because communication is vital! If you are in the habit of holding things inside, it is essential to realize that you are not protecting your relationship but hurting it.

Take Extra Special Care

When you are healing a relationship, you must take extra special precautions to be sure you are doing everything right to the best of your ability. Bring fresh energy into your dating or marriage relationship. Where you usually might not put in the extra effort, you need to focus!

If you are prone to arguments in your relationship, make it a rule to not walk away from one another until the issue is resolved. This may not be an extra step you usually take, because it is not something that is required of you. Especially while you are learning how to fall back in love, though, it is imperative that you do special things like this.

Another common occurrence in a broken relationship is not paying attention to one another. Over the years, the novelty of having a partner in your life can fade. The normal sway of day-to-day life becomes mundane, and you forget to be thankful for your partner.

You want to be sure you are not taking for granted the relationship that you do have. Show your partner love, and he or she will do the same in return. You know you’re right for each other because you have made it this far, so why not put a little extra effort in so it can go on for much longer?

Forgive And Forget

Over the years, there have undoubtedly been many things that have happened to hurt you or things you’ve done to hurt your partner. As the tallies rise, it can be easy to hold a grudge. If your goal is to learn how to fall back in love, though, it is time to let those go.

When you decide to move forward with your loved one and try to salvage your relationship, you need to forgive. If you want to make it even better, you can go one step further and find it within to let go of the bad situation completely.

When you choose to forgive your partner and essentially forget the problem, you are making a big step toward your love being able to blossom again. When you choose to have no hard feelings against each other, you can forget the bad things and focus on the happy and lively future you want to build with one another.

Anticipate Your Partner’s Wants & Needs

No matter how hard you try, you won’t always be able to know exactly what your partner wants and needs (this is where honest communication comes in), but you can certainly try!

Don’t make your partner tell you more than once what they need to feel happy and secure. If you are continually having the same conversations, it will only be detrimental to your relationship. You want to be anticipating things that your partner will need, and the only way you can do that is by truly taking to heart anything the two of you speak about.

When you go the extra mile to make sure your loved one is happy and secure, you will reap great benefits. A happy lover is a happy life, and you will certainly be happy to say you finally learned how to fall back in love with your husband!

Have Fun Together

It might seem obvious, but many couples struggle to do the essential thing that a relationship is supposed to do: have fun with one another!

The spark between the two of you is most likely still there and just needs to be rekindled. You could be mistaken for feeling bored with one another with not being in love anymore. For many couples, this is the case.

You don’t need to go anywhere or do anything to accomplish this; having fun can be completely free. You can let your guard down and relax around this person that loves you. Make jokes while cooking dinner or watching a movie, or if you’re the type of people that love pranks, pull them!

Do all the things you remember doing when you were just beginning your relationship, even if it feels like a chore. There are so many important things that we do when we are just meeting someone that fall by the wayside when we are together for several years.

If the two of you can figure out how to bring that back, you have a chance of leaving the question “how do we get back to love?” in the past!

Spice Up Your Sex Life

Not Sure How To Rekindle The Spark Of Love In Your Relationship?

Sexual intimacy is an extremely important and often overlooked part of any happy and healthy relationship. Even though your problems may not happen in the bedroom, many of them may begin there.

If you’re not having sex at all or one of you is avoiding sex, you or your partner may feel unwanted or undesired. This can cross over to almost any other part of your relationship. If you aren’t feeling in the mood, you should push yourself to have sex anyways. Over time, the negative feelings you have about being intimate with your partner are likely to subside, and if they don’t, you may not need to worry about rekindling the flame. If you aren’t able to be intimate with your partner, it may be best to let the relationship go.

If you are having sex but the two of you find it to be boring, visit your local adult store. You can pick up some massage lotions or oils that you can use to set the mood, along with a myriad of other fun items (such as a new toy) that are sure to spice up your sex life. This can be instrumental in rekindling the fire!

You should also try more subtle and smaller gestures of physical intimacy to keep that spark alive. After all, people of all walks of life and relationships feel more sexual energy when it is slowly built up. Therefore, find other ways to exhibit physical affection such as a reassuring caress, a hug, cuddling, or kissing. Even just a squeeze of a hug or touching your partner’s back gently can have a positive effect. These other forms of affectionate physical contact can help your partner feel more attractive and open to intimacy which will make your sex life all the more satisfying. With any luck, you will no longer be wondering how to fall back in love.

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