The Best Ways To Demonstrate Romantic Love
By: Corrina Horne
Updated February 17, 2020
Medically Reviewed By: Whitney White, MS. CMHC, NCC., LPC
Romantic love often conjures the image of dramatic displays of affection carried out in the pouring rain, usually accompanied by powerful declarations of undying love and sacrifice. Typically, these scenes end with some tears and a kiss. While this might be an effective method of demonstrating love on television screens-or even in some books-it is the far more reasonable, down-to-earth, everyday acts that consistently and effectively demonstrate romantic love for one's partner.
Identifying Romantic Love
Demonstrating romantic love and platonic love might intersect. Sacrifice, affection, and consideration are all pivotal ways to show love and affection for the people closest to you, whether that means your parents, close friends, or your romantic partner. What will likely differentiate romantic love, then, is not merely the type of displays you offer, but the format in which you deliver them, and the results you hope to see.
Differentiating romantic love from platonic or familial love is likely to involve an evaluation of physical attraction, as very few romantic entanglements are entered into without some form of physical attraction present. In some cases, physical attraction comes on the heels of emotional attachment, but it is more likely that at least an emotional connection will precede emotional attachment, if not physical attraction alone.
Demonstrations of love for new love interests will differ significantly from displays created for more mature loves. New love is often filled with infatuation, feelings of intensity and even stress, and so-called butterflies. New love is often the time for grandiose displays of affection, with over-the-top declarations. After all, this is the time you are still working to impress your significant other and encourage them to stick around.
To demonstrate love for a new partner, begin by making it official on social media. One study found that couples who had one another in profile pictures, and who regularly commented on their significant other's photos and posts reported greater contentment and satisfaction in their relationships and were perceived to be happier by others as well. Taking a few minutes to make your relationship official on social media is a simple, easy show of love for your partner.
Introducing your new partner to your friends and family is another simple, but extremely important way of demonstrating your love. Inviting your flame into your life by introducing them to the people you spend your life with demonstrates your love, your commitment, and your interest in keeping them around for the long haul.
Once you've been together for a little while, the declarations and demonstrations of love tend to get a bit less frequent and less involved. In a relationship, as time goes on, the infatuation begins to fade and is replaced by familiarity and comfort. This can be an incredible time; you might not feel butterflies each time you see your partner anymore, but you can feel safe and loved, even in the midst of your worst day, when you haven't showered in a while, and your breath would raise the hair on a dog's back. Even then, there are distinct ways to demonstrate your love to your partner.
Inviting your partner to join you in one of your longstanding hobbies can demonstrate love. If you've gushed about musicals for the past two years of your relationship, but have managed to keep that love all to yourself, inviting your partner to join in your hobby with you can demonstrate how much you truly care, and how excited you are to have them in your life.
Sitting down to plan for your future is another excellent way to show your love for your partner. If you've been together for a few months or a couple of years, creating plans for your future together is a romantic pursuit that shows your partner you love them, and you see a future with them. These plans can be boring and simple (What will our house look like? How many pets will we have?), or can be grandiose and exciting (Where will we visit? What kind of people will we be? What dreams will we have accomplished together?).
Demonstrating affection in relationships that are five years old, ten years old, or older, you might have to get a little bit more creative. By this time in a relationship, many of the standard displays of affection have become rote. You might offer a kiss at the end of the day as a matter of habit, provide a back rub at the close of a long workday as a matter of course, or sit together on the couch watching TV without ever speaking a word. There is beauty in this, too; you have reached a level of comfort and familiarity with one another that allows for acceptance of bland, day-to-day activities. Despite the sometimes-mundane nature of relationships that have reached maturity, there are still plenty of ways to demonstrate love and affection.
Recreate a date from the past. In recreating a date from the past, you are pulling double duty by showing your partner that you remember a date from long ago, and you are recreating some of the magic that you experienced when your relationship was fresh. This is a particularly useful demonstration of love if the two of you have been feeling distant or have not been getting out much, as it shows that you have the desire to reconnect and strengthen your relationship-and that is incredibly romantic as love ages.
Do the day-to-day things together. Washing dishes is a part of life. Mowing lawns, getting haircuts, buying groceries-these are all basic aspects of being an adult human, regardless of where you are or what all the other details of your life look like. To show your partner you care, make a point to engage in these tasks together. Take time to do dishes together and talk about your day. Go get groceries together and each choose a dish to make that you've never tried. Pay your bills together, run errands together-choose to spend time together even in the boring moments, as these are a big part of what strengthens your commitment to one another, and cements your bond.
Best Demonstrations Overall
Flirting is one of the best ways to demonstrate love, whether you have been together for a few days, or a few decades. Flirting demonstrates your preference for your partner above all others and creates a bond that is unique to the two of you. Flirting can mean acknowledging your partner's success in a group of people and praising his or her success or can mean whispering a teasing comment in your partner's ear when the two of you are alone.
Touching is another way of demonstrating love that is vital for all stages of love, from the fledgling affair to the mature marriage. Touch doesn't have to be overtly sexual in nature, or even particularly robust; instead, a simple touch on the small of your partner's back or brushing hair away from your loved one's forehead can speak volumes about how your feel about him or her. As a bonus, skin-to-skin contact releases bonding hormones and spurs the production of feel-good hormones.
Being honest with your partner is one of the absolute best ways you can demonstrate your love. Setting boundaries, acknowledging your needs, and acknowledging your partner's potential missteps are all important parts of keeping a partnership strong, healthy, and in good working order, which includes demonstrating love. Although it might always not seem like a show of love to engage with your partner honestly, it demonstrates your concern for your relationship's welfare, and reveals your willingness to partner together-even when the partnership might be less than pleasant.
Demonstrating Powerful Romantic Love
Delivering powerful displays of romantic love doesn't look like the rain and drama of movies and TV. It doesn't require enormous sacrifice, cross-country treks, or the abandonment of one's family. Instead, the greatest demonstrations of romantic love are the small, daily demonstrations, where you show your partner that you choose them day in and day out, above everyone else in the world. Continually choosing to remain close to your partner-to open yourself up, share your world, share your heart, and share your life with someone else is an incredible demonstration of love and affection.
Romantic love looks different for everyone. For some, this means never fighting and thinking the world of your partner. For others, it might involve more cynicism and faith-and maybe even a little help. Although the ways you show your partner you love them will change with your age, your relationship's maturity, and your respective likes and interests, there are a few key concepts within loving demonstrations: honesty, affection, and regularly telling your partner just how much they mean to you. A truly romantic relationship is one in which all aspects of the relationship demonstrate love; actions and words should work in tandem to tell your loved ones exactly what they mean to you, how much you want them to stick around-and how happy you are to stick around for them.
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