What Falling In And Out Of Love Looks Like And How To Cope
It is common in any relationship to experience ups and downs, but if you have found yourself experiencing inconsistent feelings for your partner on a more frequent basis, you may be wondering if you are falling out of love.
Romantic relationships are often unique and complex, therefore falling in and out of love can look immensely different for every couple. Still, there may be a number of overarching themes and feelings that could better determine whether or not you are falling out of love, or simply experiencing a rough patch.
"This is why I don't want to fall in love, I fall out of love easily." If you feel deeply in love with your partner one day, then completely out of love the next, this could be a sign of a deeper issue. Whether a deeper issue lies within you, your partner or the relationship itself can be difficult to pinpoint.
In this article, we will explore a few common relationship situations that could feel similarly to falling out of love. Additionally, we will explore some of the typical feelings that may indicate that you are falling out of love, and things you can do to combat or cope with that possibility.
What Does Falling Out Of Love Look Like?
Due to the unique nature of individuals and romantic partnerships, it can be challenging to identify precisely how it feels to fall out of love. It can be especially difficult to confirm these feelings as it is not uncommon to uphold feelings of love toward someone you feel you are “falling out of love” with. Though it may seem counterintuitive in these situations, it is possible to love a person while maintaining the feeling that the relationship has come to end.
Still, there are a handful of feelings and behaviors that tend to characterize falling out of love.
You Notice A Lack of “Spark”
Typically, the early stages of a relationship are filled with excitement, elation and buzz. Though these feelings tend to die down in any healthy, long-term relationship, you may feel this loss of spark more intensely when falling out of love.You No Longer Enjoy Your Time Together
Similar to feeling a lack of spark, you may find that you no longer enjoy spending time with your partner. You may find yourself feeling sad or dejected during dates or quality time. Additionally, you may realize that you and your partner have significantly decreased or forfeited quality time all together.You Become Hyper Critical Of Your Partner
Someone falling out of love may begin fixating on either their partner’s flaws, past arguments, or any general pitfalls of the relationship. Furthermore, you may notice an increase in arguments, disagreements or miscommunications with your partner. Though no relationship is perfect, lingering feelings of negativity or resentment toward your partner could mean you are falling out of love.You Compare Your Relationship or Partner To Others
If you find yourself comparing your relationship to those of your friends, family, co-workers, or even couples in movies or books, this could be an early indicator that you are falling out of love. Though it is common for people to engage in some level of comparison when it comes to relationships, experiencing feelings of jealousy or hopelessness when it comes to other couples could be a sign.There Is A Lack Of Communication
Typically, a healthy relationship is reliant on an aspect of open communication. If you are having trouble communicating with your partner this could be an indicator that you are falling out of love.You Are Feeling Uncertain About The Future
In a long-term relationship it is fairly standard to plan together for your future, whether that means moving in together, getting married, or having children. If you have lost confidence in future plans with your partner that you previously felt certain of, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship as a whole.
Determining If You Have Fallen Out Of Love
Falling in love is one of the best feelings. How long does it take to fall in love? It varies from person to person. Unfortunately, falling out of love can happen in some relationships too. Falling out of love with your partner can happen quickly or over a long period of time depending on the nature of your relationship. Still, these feelings do not necessarily mean your relationship must end. There are a few things you may consider if you worry you are falling out of love with your partner.
Depending on the length of your relationship, it is possible that you and your partner are simply leaving the “honeymoon phase”. The honeymoon phase is typically characterized by the feelings of excitement and elation during the early stages of a relationship. Studies show that the honeymoon phase tends to last anywhere from 30 months to two and a half years, though this differs with every couple.
Similar to falling out of love, leaving the honeymoon can look like a loss of spark or decrease in quality time, but typically this phase plays an important role in any long-term relationship. If you are somewhat early on in your relationship, you may want to consider that you and your partner are simply leaving your honeymoon phase and not necessarily falling out of love.
You may also want to consider outside factors that may be affecting the quality of your relationship. It is not uncommon for work of financial stress, personal issues, or changes in mental or physical health to put strain on an otherwise healthy relationship. In cases like this, it may be helpful to consult a therapist or licensed relationship counselor for guidance.
How To Cope With Falling Out Of Love
Falling out of love with a partner tends to be challenging and troublesome for everyone involved. If you are having trouble navigating your feelings of falling out of love there are certain things that may help you and your partner to better cope.
If you feel it is safe to do so, you could try communicating your feelings directly to your partner. Though this can be a difficult conversation to have, it could help you and your partner to determine how to improve the relationship or next steps.
Additionally, you could try giving each other some space. This could look like separated living situations, or simply spending less time together temporarily in order to reevaluate your feelings.
Oftentimes, it can be difficult to navigate these complex situations alone. Whether you determine you would like to improve your relationship or part ways, it could be helpful to seek professional guidance in either case.
Benefits Of Online Therapy
If you feel yourself falling out of love with your partner, you may benefit from online therapy. Research has shown that couples therapy positively impacts around 70% of those receiving treatment.
When seeking couples or individual counseling, online therapy can provide more flexibility than in-person therapy. The additional flexibility of online therapy can be beneficial for those with hectic schedules or a busy family life.
Effectiveness Of Online Therapy
In addition to online therapy offering a number of benefits in regards to flexibility and scheduling, studies show that online couples therapy is equally as effective as in-person therapy.
Additionally, recent studies show online therapy overall to be equally as effective in treating symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other types of mental health disorders.
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Takeaways
Though every relationship is different, there are a few general signs that may indicate you are falling out of love. If you feel yourself falling out of love, you may want to consider the specifics of your situation or attempt to address the issue with your partner directly. Furthermore, a licensed therapist may be better equipped to help you navigate your unique situation. It is possible that individual or online couples therapy could help.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Can You Fall In Love With The Same Person Twice?
More than twice, in fact! It’s a common feeling, especially among couples in long term relationships and marriages, that they fall in love with their partner over and over. Overcoming struggles together in the marriage, parenting, and other aspects of living together, remembering why you fell in love in the first place, seeing each other grow individually and as a couple, and raising children together and the passing of time, all contribute to the experience of falling for someone again and again.
Can Feelings Change Suddenly?
Yes, but a sudden change in feelings doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is over or that you’re starting to fall out of love. It could actually be a good thing. This could be a good time to reflect on if your relationship is actually working for you. Keep spending more quality time with your partner, stay at home, and love and pamper them. If anything, don’t let the seed of doubt be planted.
How Do You Tell If You Are Being Used?
- They make you feel uncomfortable
- They make it difficult, or afraid, to say “no”
- They're only nice when it’s convenient for them
- They don't focus on your needs
How Do You Love Someone Again After They Caused You Pain?
First, you need to give yourself as much time as you need. Be gentle with yourself and do not blame or shame yourself. Be on the lookout for signs of depression, eating disorders, or other mental health issues that may be taking root as a result of the pain and hurt. You might need a diagnosis, treatment, or an informed decision on how to help out. If so, seek out a qualified, professional physician or therapist for assistance.
Take time to evaluate what happened and what you need to feel safe enough to love again. Forgive them when you feel you can. And then communicate with them. Remember to take it slow as you learn to love and trust again.
What To Do If You Love Someone More Than They Love You?
First, accept that your feelings for them are true, deep, and real, and acknowledge and feel that emotion. Feel both the love for them and also the pain of them not loving you as much. Give them some distance, be respectful, and wish them all the luck. This is a sensitive topic, so give yourself grace.
Why does it hurt so much when you love someone?
Why does love hurt so much? Love is painful because of the strong connection between social and physical pain. It was discovered that the parts of the brain that process physical pain are also involved in social pain, thus offering an explanation as to why it "hurts" when we both love someone and when we break up with someone we love.
Can you be in love with 2 people?
It’s entirely possible to be in love with two people at the same time. In most circumstances, people experience those romantically good feelings and make an exclusive commitment to each other. Even when it’s true love, people can also develop romantic feelings for someone else.
What happens to your brain when you fall out of love?
According to a study on love, research shows that the medial insula, the anterior cingulate cortex, and parts of the dorsal striatum become quite active in people who profess to be madly in love. Brain studies that show what happens to your brain when you’re falling out of love have yet to be conducted.
What it feels like to fall out of love?
When one partner stops loving, you’ve fallen out of love and it’s very painful. You will go through a period of sadness. Some people feel like they’ve lost a part of themselves along with the relationship. A relationship shouldn’t define who you are as a person. While you may experience anxiety, attachment issues, and loss, these feelings will eventually pass. Most people find that when they’re ready to move on, they do so as a better person.
There’s a lot of helpful information on this page, and it’s encouraged for you to please read the information to help you in gaining your control, your confidence, and position yourself for an amazing future!
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