What Falling In And Out Of Love Looks Like And How To Cope

Updated February 2, 2023by BetterHelp Editorial Team

It is common in any relationship to experience ups and downs, but if you have found yourself experiencing inconsistent feelings for your partner on a more frequent basis, you may be wondering if you are falling out of love.

Romantic relationships are often unique and complex, therefore falling in and out of love can look immensely different for every couple. Still, there may be a number of overarching themes and feelings that could better determine whether or not you are falling out of love, or simply experiencing a rough patch. 

If you feel deeply in love with your partner one day, then completely out of love the next, this could be a sign of a deeper issue. Whether a deeper issue lies within you, your partner, or the relationship itself can be difficult to pinpoint. 

In this article, we will explore a few common relationship situations that could feel similarly to falling out of love. Additionally, we will explore some of the typical feelings that may indicate that you are falling out of love, and things you can do to combat or cope with that possibility.

Feeling Like You’re Falling Out Of Love?

What Does Falling Out Of Love Look Like? 

Due to the unique nature of individuals and romantic partnerships, it can be challenging to identify precisely how it feels to fall out of love. It can be especially difficult to confirm these feelings as it is not uncommon to uphold feelings of love toward someone you feel you are “falling out of love” with. Though it may seem counterintuitive in these situations, it is possible to love a person while maintaining the feeling that the relationship has come to end. 

Still, there are a handful of feelings and behaviors that tend to characterize falling out of love.

  1. You Notice A Lack of “Spark”

    Typically, the early stages of a relationship are filled with excitement, elation and buzz. Though these feelings tend to die down in any healthy, long-term relationship, you may feel this loss of spark more intensely when falling out of love.

  2. You No Longer Enjoy Your Time Together

    Similar to feeling a lack of spark, you may find that you no longer enjoy spending time with your partner. You may find yourself feeling sad or dejected during dates or quality time. Additionally, you may realize that you and your partner have significantly decreased or forfeited quality time all together.

  3. You Become Hyper Critical Of Your Partner

    Someone falling out of love may begin fixating on either their partner’s flaws, past arguments, or any general pitfalls of the relationship. Furthermore, you may notice an increase in arguments, disagreements or miscommunications with your partner. Though no relationship is perfect, lingering feelings of negativity or resentment toward your partner could mean you are falling out of love. 

  4. You Compare Your Relationship or Partner To Others

    If you find yourself comparing your relationship to those of your friends, family, co-workers, or even couples in movies or books, this could be an early indicator that you are falling out of love. Though it is common for people to engage in some level of comparison when it comes to relationships, experiencing feelings of jealousy or hopelessness when it comes to other couples could be a sign.

  5. There Is A Lack Of Communication

    Typically, a healthy relationship is reliant on an aspect of open communication. If you are having trouble communicating with your partner this could be an indicator that you are falling out of love.

  6. You Are Feeling Uncertain About The Future

    In a long-term relationship it is fairly standard to plan together for your future, whether that means moving in together, getting married, or having children. If you have lost confidence in future plans with your partner that you previously felt certain of, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship as a whole. 

Determining If You Have Fallen Out Of Love

Falling out of love with your partner can happen quickly or over a long period of time depending on the nature of your relationship. Still, these feelings do not necessarily mean your relationship must end. There are a few things you may consider if you worry you are falling out of love with your partner. 

Depending on the length of your relationship, it is possible that you and your partner are simply leaving the “honeymoon phase”. The honeymoon phase is typically characterized by the feelings of excitement and elation during the early stages of a relationship. Studies show that the honeymoon phase tends to last anywhere from 30 months to two and a half years, though this differs with every couple. 

Similar to falling out of love, leaving the honeymoon can look like a loss of spark or decrease in quality time, but typically this phase plays an important role in any long-term relationship. If you are somewhat early on in your relationship, you may want to consider that you and your partner are simply leaving your honeymoon phase and not necessarily falling out of love. 

You may also want to consider outside factors that may be affecting the quality of your relationship. It is not uncommon for work of financial stress, personal issues, or changes in mental or physical health to put strain on an otherwise healthy relationship. In cases like this, it may be helpful to consult a therapist or licensed relationship counselor for guidance. 

How To Cope With Falling Out Of Love

Falling out of love with a partner tends to be challenging and troublesome for everyone involved. If you are having trouble navigating your feelings of falling out of love there are certain things that may help you and your partner to better cope. 

If you feel it is safe to do so, you could try communicating your feelings directly to your partner. Though this can be a difficult conversation to have, it could help you and your partner to determine how to improve the relationship or next steps. 

Additionally, you could try giving each other some space. This could look like separated living situations, or simply spending less time together temporarily in order to reevaluate your feelings. 

Oftentimes, it can be difficult to navigate these complex situations alone. Whether you determine you would like to improve your relationship or part ways, it could be helpful to seek professional guidance in either case. 

Benefits Of Online Therapy

If you feel yourself falling out of love with your partner, you may benefit from online therapy. Research has shown that couples therapy positively impacts around 70% of those receiving treatment.

When seeking couples or individual counseling, online therapy can provide more flexibility than in-person therapy. The additional flexibility of online therapy can be beneficial for those with hectic schedules or a busy family life.

Feeling Like You’re Falling Out Of Love?

Effectiveness Of Online Therapy 

In addition to online therapy offering a number of benefits in regards to flexibility and scheduling, studies show that online couples therapy is equally as effective as in-person therapy. 

Additionally, recent studies show online therapy overall to be equally as effective in treating symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other types of mental health disorders. 

Therapists Reviews

"Dr. Murphy has been very helpful in identifying issues and behaviors that led me to withdraw from my relationships and now she is helping me to repair them."

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Takeaways

Though every relationship is different, there are a few general signs that may indicate you are falling out of love. If you feel yourself falling out of love, you may want to consider the specifics of your situation or attempt to address the issue with your partner directly. Furthermore, a licensed therapist may be better equipped to help you navigate your unique situation. It is possible that individual or online couples therapy could help. 

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