A Cycle Of Heartbreak: Falling In And Out Of Love

Is it normal to fall in and out of love in a relationship?

Yes, it's entirely normal for people to feel uncertain about their emotions in relationships at times. Love tends to evolve and shift as the relationship progresses. The early stages of a relationship often come with heightened emotions, but over time, the excitement of this honeymoon phase naturally fades. This doesn’t necessarily mean love has disappeared. In fact, this is often a natural part of a relationship maturing. If you're experiencing this, taking a step back to assess your feelings and the shared values within the relationship can provide clarity.

Can you keep falling in and out of love?

Yes. However, when people fall in and out of love frequently, it might be a sign of underlying issues that need addressing. Some couples navigate cycles of closeness and distance due to life stressors, personal differences, or unmet needs. These cycles don’t mean your love isn't the real thing—it might mean both partners need to spend quality time together or work on communication. However, if the pattern persists, seeking insight from a licensed therapist could provide clarity and strategies to move forward.

What does falling easily in and out of love say about mental health?

Frequent shifts in romantic feelings—or going through a cycle of breakups, feeling like you miss your partner, and reuniting—may reflect underlying emotional challenges, stress, or unmet personal needs. It doesn’t necessarily indicate a mental health disorder, but patterns of inconsistent attachment might lead to ongoing concerns like anxiety or unresolved trauma. In these cases, it can be helpful to assess your well-being and seek perspective from a therapist or mental health professional.

Can couples therapy save a relationship if you fall out of love?

Couples therapy can often lead to revolutionary reflections in relationships where love feels diminished. Couples therapy can create a safe space to communicate, explore unresolved issues, and rekindle passion. Though therapy won’t save every relationship, it can provide clarity, ultimately helping you to decide whether you’d like to work toward reconciliation or have an honest talk about the next steps.

Can therapy help you fall back in love with someone you fell out of love with?

Yes, therapy can help rekindle love by encouraging honest conversations and reframing negative perspectives. When couples explore emotions, unmet needs, and shared goals in therapy, they often notice a renewed appreciation for each other. Therapists might suggest you spend time together, engage in physical touch, or reconnect over future plans. While it is not guaranteed, this process often creates opportunities for renewed connection and a recommitment to forever.

How can a therapist help me know if I'm still in love?

A therapist can guide you to identify your feelings by helping you explore your relationship dynamics from a judgment-free, first-person perspective. Over the course of your sessions, a therapist can help you identify, admit, and navigate the complexities of being human in relationships.

It’s important to hear your partner out when discussing feelings of falling in or out of love, as open communication can lead to better understanding and connection. A therapist can help you clarify your concerns and assess the difference between fleeting emotions and deeper truths, whether it’s addressing moments of anger or exploring the joy of connection. This process often brings clarity about what love truly means to you.

How can you tell if a relationship will lead to marriage and family?

Signs that a relationship might lead to marriage and family often revolve around shared values and effective communication. If you and your partner navigate challenges in the same way, this harmony can be a strong sign of compatibility. Additionally, feeling secure, supported, and genuinely excited when you imagine a life together suggests the relationship could be just what you need for long-term happiness.

The idea of marriage and family also thrives when partners demonstrate mutual respect and a commitment to personal and collective growth. The top three relationship experts say assessing how you handle conflict, prioritizing quality time, and envisioning a future together can help you decide if your partnership is built for the long haul. 

How do you know when the honeymoon phase is over?

The beginning of a relationship is often marked by the fact that both partners feel excited. As time passes and excitement is replaced with routine and comfort, the honeymoon phase typically fades. This shift often includes a decrease in intense infatuation and perhaps less physical intimacy. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that the partners are not interested in each other anymore. Instead, it often marks the start of a deeper, more meaningful connection. Many couples build lasting bonds by navigating this transition together through communication, patience, self-reflection, and intentional effort.

Should I tell my partner if I’m feeling like I’m falling out of love?

Yes, being honest with your partner is crucial. Expressing your feelings openly can foster understanding and create opportunities to rebuild the connection. However, framing the conversation with empathy and a willingness to work together is vital. Before initiating this dialogue, it can help to reflect or seek guidance from a therapist to clarify your emotions and desired outcomes. 

Should you break up if you fall out of love?

Not always. Falling out of love doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is impossible to repair. Couples often reconnect through intentional changes like spending quality time together, addressing unmet needs, or seeking couples therapy. However, if these efforts fail and you get the sense that the relationship feels emotionally draining or wrong or even harms you to the point of being physically sick, breaking up may be the healthiest option for your well-being.