Who Should Wear Engagement Rings?
Within many cultures, weddings and marriages are heavily influenced by tradition. From this standpoint, it may be expected for a bride-to-be to wear an engagement ring during the time between proposal and marriage. However, perspectives have shifted quite a bit, and now there are more men wearing engagement rings, too. It’s a personal choice, and everyone can be completely free to make the choice that’s right for them regarding engagement rings. You and your significant other may find it helpful to talk with a licensed couples counselor when deciding how to showcase your devotion to one another.
Engagement rings: a tradition and a symbol of commitment
Women's and men’s engagement rings are a type of wedding jewelry, typically worn on the left ring finger, that can indicate the wearer is engaged to be married. Traditionally, an engagement ring can represent the formal acceptance of a marriage proposal. Often, female and male engagement rings are replaced with separate wedding rings during wedding day church ceremonies. Other times, the engagement rings are kept and combined with wedding bands instead. But where do these engagement traditions come from? And what do engagement rings signify now?
Why are engagement rings worn, and do men wear engagement rings?
Historically, the use of wedding rings is believed to have begun with the Egyptians. The circular bands are thought to have represented eternity. Wearing a round band on a finger on the left hand usually symbolized a commitment to being together forever. This could also be a physical representation that a person was in a relationship and not available to other suitors.
Do men wear engagement rings?
But does a man wear an engagement ring? The answer is, in many cases, yes. Although traditionally, engagement rings were worn only by women, many men today wear a male engagement ring. This male engagement ring trend may seem new in countries like the United States, but in other countries like Sweden and Chile, men have been wearing engagement rings for a while. The styles and types of men’s traditional wedding rings will differ depending on the country. For example, in Chile, a man’s engagement ring will often be made of silver, with gold being reserved for wedding rings later on.
Though the first record of modern engagement rings occurred in 1477, most people did not adopt the custom until the mid-1900s, and it wasn’t until this time that diamonds and precious metals were commonly featured on engagement rings.
The trend of wearing engagement rings and jewelry
In 1947, a diamond mining company called De Beers popularized the phrase, “a diamond is forever,” contributing to the trend of buying expensive diamond engagement rings, and the jewelry industry has continued this advertising. De Beers would continue to reference this phrase throughout the years, both in print ads and in tv ads featuring female and male celebrities. Since then, it's not uncommon for someone preparing to make a proposal to spend a significant sum of money to buy an engagement band or ring for their partner. Though many modern couples continue to choose diamond rings to signify their commitment, it is becoming increasingly popular to choose less expensive engagement jewelry or to not wear a diamond engagement ring (or any engagement ring) at all.
Who wears engagement rings today?
Many of today’s couples choose to wear engagement rings to signify their love and mutual commitment, regardless of each partner’s sex or gender. Women and men, and people of other genders may choose to wear engagement rings, or not. Whether a person chooses to wear an engagement ring can be a matter of personal preference or a decision made jointly by the couple. Both, one, or neither of the partners may wear engagement rings. You can even change up where you wear it, as some women's and men’s rings are worn on their right ring finger instead of their left. The same can be true for same-sex couples. You each decide whether you want your own unique engagement rings, a stacked pair of rings made from the same material, or even if you want no rings at all.
The decision to not wear an engagement ring
Some people may not like the feeling of wearing a ring on their finger, or a ring may need to be taken off frequently for work or recreational activities. For example, people who work with their hands may find that they can’t wear wedding rings at their jobs without risking their safety or losing the jewelry. In addition, some may feel that they do not need to wear a ring on their ring finger to show their commitment to their partner.
Keeping the tradition and symbol of commitment
Culture or trend? Settling relationship disputes regarding rings
People of any gender might not find wearing an engagement ring or wedding band appealing for a variety of reasons. Many couples may choose not to buy or wear rings due to cost or personal preference. Engagement and marriage can be about love and commitment for most couples, not about a physical object that you put on your finger, while others enjoy participating in the tradition. Ultimately, the choice is up to the individuals involved.
How therapy can help
If the thought of you or your partner not wearing engagement and wedding rings makes you feel less safe in your relationship, you may wish to talk about the situation with a couples therapist in person or online.
If you are in a long-distance relationship or would feel more comfortable trying couples therapy from the comfort of your own home, online therapy could be a good fit for you and your partner. Studies show that, while some couples may experience initial reservations in trying online therapy, many find that it enables a greater sense of control and comfort and less fear of judgment compared to in-person therapy.
Takeaway
Are guys supposed to wear a ring or jewelry when engaged?
Both men and women can wear engagement rings. Male engagement rings, or “mangagement” rings, are becoming increasingly popular. The trend is likely partly driven by several male celebrities, such as Michael Buble and Ed Sheeran, who announced during their engagements that they were wearing an engagement ring. The answer to the question “Do men wear engagement rings?” is increasingly “yes.” The option isn’t new either, New Jersey department store L. Bamberger & Co. advertised engagement rings for men as far back as 1926.
Male engagement ring trend
The male engagement ring trend is likely to become more popular, although a man wearing an engagement ring is still relatively rare, at least in heterosexual relationships. Conversely, male same-sex couples are buying mangagement rings much more frequently. A survey from The Knot, a popular wedding-planning website, found that about half of same-sex male couples exchanged one engagement ring, and 40% exchanged two.
The same survey revealed that only 6% of men in heterosexual relationships wear an engagement ring, although that number is likely increasing. Traditions surrounding engagement and marriage have historically changed over time. Today, nontraditional marriages are more common than ever.
Modernizing the culture
Women may eschew white wedding gowns in favor of more vibrant colors, church ceremonies are much less common, and traditional wedding staples are becoming increasingly rare. It stands to reason that engagement traditions can also shift and evolve with time, and male engagement rings may be the next substantial trend.
Who buys the man's engagement ring?
Traditionally, the man buys the woman’s engagement ring without her present. However, it is becoming increasingly common for couples to purchase an engagement ring together or for a woman to choose her own ring. Buying an engagement ring for a man is no different. Ultimately, the decision is up to the couple.
A person planning a more traditional proposal may choose to buy the ring for their male partner in advance. It would also be appropriate for a couple to look at and purchase a man’s engagement ring together. Anyone can buy the engagement ring; the decision will likely be based on the style of proposal and desires of each partner.
Is a man's engagement ring the same as a wedding ring?
Male engagement rings are not the same as wedding rings. An engagement ring is given to a partner when proposing, and a wedding ring is traditionally worn after the wedding takes place. As with women’s engagement rings, a male engagement ring is typically worn after the couple has decided to marry but before the wedding.
After the wedding, some men begin wearing wedding rings and engagement rings as a stacked pair, similar to traditional engagement rings and wedding bands. Other men decide to move their engagement band to another finger and wear their wedding ring on the left ring finger, the traditional place for a wedding ring. Some may choose to wear only their wedding ring, removing the engagement ring altogether.
The simpler, the better
Unlike the ornate diamond rings that have become popular as engagement rings today, male engagement rings tend to be simpler and may more closely resemble a wedding band. This may contribute to some of the confusion surrounding engagement rings for men. Their appearance tends to follow the conventions of a wedding ring rather than a traditional diamond engagement ring.
Do unmarried guys wear rings?
Many unmarried men do wear rings. Men’s rings can serve an important symbolic purpose that is not associated with marriage, such as signet rings. Signet rings are traditionally worn on the pinky finger and, in the past, were used to sign legal documents by pressing the ring face into hot wax. The symbols etched on the ring created a pattern in the soft wax, which hardened into a seal that acted like a signature.
Today, signet rings are no longer used for signing official paperwork, but historical or traditional signet rings may still be worn. The pinky finger, the traditional space for a signet ring, is more commonly occupied by college or club rings today. These rings demonstrate support in an organization and are frequently worn by both married and unmarried men.
Men may also wear rings for fashion. While some fashion etiquette is associated with rings, such as wearing a signet on the pinky or a wedding ring on the left ring finger, many men are experimenting with wearing rings on different fingers and wearing rings for reasons that are not symbolic, historical, or traditional. For example, one may start wearing a high-priced gift from a close friend without a traditional meaning attached to it.
What is the most common engagement ring?
A survey of engagement ring trends from The Knot, a wedding planning website, indicates that diamond engagement rings continue their reign as the most popular engagement stone. 86% of those surveyed purchased a diamond engagement ring. Most people preferred round stones, but oval stones have been steadily gaining popularity.
The average size of an engagement ring is 1.5 carats total, with about 25% of all engagement rings being over two carats. White gold, previously the most popular metal, has declined from 61% of rings in 2017 to 45% in 2021. On the other hand, yellow gold is seeing a resurgence, with an 11% increase from 2017 to 2021.
What is a man's engagement ring called?
The term “mangagement ring” has become more popular over the years to refer to engagement rings for men. The term is still gaining popularity and may not be universally recognized. Men’s traditional wedding rings are typically not worn until after marriage. As male engagement rings become more popular, it is possible that slang terms like “mangagement” will become more widespread. Today, many jewelry designers creating engagement rings specifically for men refer to them as “male engagement rings” or “engagement rings for men.”
In the sense of equality, why do guys not get engagement rings?
Men do not traditionally receive engagement rings because of limitations placed on women’s autonomy throughout history. In the early 20th century, engagement rings served as both a sign of betrothal and a source of financial asset for women. Until the 1930s, if a man proposed to a woman and then called off the marriage, he could be sued for breach of promise. The rationale surrounded a woman’s social and financial costs of a broken engagement, especially if the couple had engaged in sexual intercourse.
Holding the commitment despite absence of equality for women
The purchase of expensive sparkling diamond engagement rings experienced explosive growth following the 1930s, helped by a famous ad campaign by diamond company DeBeers. Diamond engagement rings may have provided valuable financial assets to women following the repeal of laws that allowed them to sue for breach of promise. An expensive engagement ring may have helped ensure that a man upheld his commitment when asking for a "woman's hand" in marriage; women may have been more reluctant to become engaged without laws allowing them to sue for breach of promise.
When the traditions of modern diamond engagement rings were established almost a century ago, women were still treated unequally by law and society. For many women, their best financial prospects were achieved through marriage, necessitating a form of security should their marital prospects fall through. Today, although patriarchal standards still exist in society, women have much more autonomy, and marriage-as-survival is much less prominent.
Although male engagement bands are still gaining popularity in the United States, men from other countries, like Sweden and Chile, have traditionally worn them alongside their partners. In the United States, the old reasons driving male-only proposals are rapidly waning, and it is becoming increasingly common for men to wear wedding rings or women to propose.
Should I let my boyfriend pick out my engagement ring?
Many women prefer that their partner pick out the engagement ring, and many prefer to do it themselves. Others prefer to pick out the ring with their partner or for each other, enjoying all the fun ring shopping offers. Incidentally, almost everybody prefers to pick out rings in person. Whether your boyfriend picks out your engagement ring is a choice best left to you and him. If you prefer a more traditional proposal where you don’t see the ring beforehand, you may wish to let your boyfriend know about some of your basic preferences in betrothal rings before he pops the question.
Who puts the ring on first, the bride or groom?
In a traditional wedding ceremony, the groom traditionally puts the wedding ring on the bride before she puts his ring on him. However, there are no restrictions on who puts the ring on first. As weddings become less traditional, previous must-have staples, like white wedding gowns, are becoming less popular. Nontraditional weddings allow for any order of events, and some partners may choose for the bride to put the ring on first instead of the groom.
Why do people have 2 engagement rings?
People have two engagement rings for a variety of reasons. Some people with two rings
own both a low-value and a high-value engagement ring, which was typically the one used to propose. The low-value ring is often made of cheap metal or silicone; it typically does not have the ornate features of a traditional engagement ring. The cheaper ring is usually worn daily, with the more expensive one worn on special occasions. This allows the high-value ring to be stored safely and protected from damage.
People also sometimes upgrade their engagement or wedding rings as their relationship progresses. It is not uncommon for a couple to replace an engagement ring after several years of marriage, usually because their financial situation has improved considerably.
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