What Does It Take To Have A Happy Marriage?
Did you know? Happy marriages can be correlated with better mental and physical health, possibly promoting an increased average life expectancy for many. However, with half of marriages ending in divorce in the United States, many might find that achieving a healthy marriage can require work.
Identifying the characteristics of a happy marriage can help you and your partner collaborate as you work towards marital health, and a licensed couple’s therapist can help you discover new tools to improve your relationship.
Below, we’ve summarized possible characteristics that can positively impact your marriage. We’ve also explored the use and efficacy of online therapy in promoting a healthy marriage.
Characteristics of a happy marriage
While many couples may have unique characteristics that they believe contribute to the harmony of their marriage, elements of happiness can also be boiled down to several components. These can include:
There may not be a need to agree on everything. However, holding similar or compatible viewpoints on key aspects of your relationship—including communication, life goals, finances, honesty, and sexual needs—can make it easier for couples to have a happy marriage.
Marital commitment can mean different things to different people, including a willingness to continue working on your marriage despite challenging circumstances that may come up. Committing to remaining strong from the start can be a helpful step toward a supportive marriage.
Healthy communication strategies can be difficult to develop, especially if you and your partner communicate in different ways. A couple’s therapist can be a useful guide to help you strengthen the way you both tackle challenges.
Marital excitement can be built by engaging in new and challenging tasks together. In one study, couples were asked questions such as: “Does your partner make you a better person?”, and “How much do you see your partner as a way to expand your own capabilities?”. Couples asked to try a difficult task together prior to the session were recorded reporting more positive answers to these questions than couples who were not instructed to try something challenging together. This suggests that challenges, while difficult, can provide new opportunities to foster excitement and teamwork in a marriage if both partners are willing and receptive.
5. Sexual satisfaction
Achieving sexual satisfaction can require emotional vulnerability, honesty, and comfort between both partners. Healthy verbal and non-verbal communication can help communicate your needs and desires. Sexual satisfaction is not necessary in every marriage for a successful partnership. Experiencing a range of attraction or sexual desire can be common for any part of the relationship. Therapy can be a useful tool to successfully communicate these shifts to any other partner(s) in your marriage. Additionally, other forms of intimacy can be sought after as a possible replacement for sex or alternative focus, such as exercising or trying new things together.
Studies suggest that respect can be a foundational aspect of successful romantic relationships, positively impacting all parts of a relationship, regardless of sexual orientation or gender.
According to the American Psychological Association, people who have smaller social networks can experience more pronounced feelings of companionship and a reduction in feelings of loneliness through marriage. This could indicate that many spouses consider each other to be both friends and romantic partners, which can contribute to one’s quality of life.
One of the more fundamental elements of a healthy marriage is often considered to be trust. Making reasonable commitments to your spouse and being honest when those commitments are broken, for example, can help to build trust and accountability in your relationship.
Building emotional honesty and vulnerability can help you foster a stronger relationship with your spouse. You can often attempt to do this by saying: “I love you”, or “I’d like to hear about your day”. Communicating with your spouse or partners about expectations can be helpful to ensure that each effort is fully appreciated and returned in a way that positively impacts you.
10. Financial stability
You and your partner(s) might consider discussing spending habits and personal finances before entering marriage. Mismatches in preferences, such as one partner who is a maximalist and one who is a minimalist, can cause future financial or marital strain. To minimize this risk, you may work to discuss these topics as openly and proactively as possible.
11. Mutual load-bearing
Discussing the division of paid and unpaid labor within your household, including whether both partners intend to pursue careers or how chores and parental responsibilities will be divided up, can help you both find the arrangement that suits your unique needs and desires.
Codependency can occur in relationships when there might be a power imbalance, possibly leaving someone in the relationship feeling dependent on the other. To help minimize this risk, you can work on pouring into yourself as much as you pour into your partner. For example: When entering a marriage, most partners might find it helpful and fulfilling if they have space to pursue their own careers, friendships, passions, and activities.
How online therapy can help you improve your marriage
Every partnership can have challenges at some point. Some couples find therapy to be a helpful outlet to discuss conflict, develop strategies, and build stronger communication skills.
Forbes has found that nearly half of all married couples have sought counseling at some point and that couples counseling can be effective if both partners are willing to grow and work together as a couple. Online therapy has been found by many to be especially beneficial, allowing couples and partners to connect with a therapist from the comfort of their home or another safe place. This can reduce feelings of nervousness or defensiveness that may surface if therapy or vulnerability is sought in an unfamiliar environment. This can make online therapy a more competitive and impactful option for many.
Recent studies have found that online couples therapy can be effective for most and that there are some unique benefits to an online format. In particular, the study found evidence that suggests that couples reported a higher level of comfort discussing their relationship when they were physically distanced from their therapist. Online therapists, like those available at BetterHelp, can empower you to try therapy in this way, helping you to actively address areas of need in your partnership.
There are no magic words for making a marriage last, but mutual respect and open communication can be important elements of any long-term connection. It’s impossible to know what to expect from the future, but having the sense that you and your partner will be able to respectfully communicate and collaborate to solve problems and handle challenges along the way can be paramount.
What makes a man happy in marriage?
What makes one person happy in marriage might not apply to another person, which is why openly communicating with your spouse about your needs and expectations for your relationship can be so important. You might discuss things like communication styles, love languages, sexual drives and compatibility, plans for the future, financial alignment, and other key topics in order to find out how to build a happy marriage together.
How to make husband happy?
If you’re wondering how to make your husband happy, you could ask what makes him feel loved or appreciated. You could inquire about his love language, or pay attention to activities and gestures that make him light up. You could also cultivate an open, honest communication dynamic in your relationship so your partner feels comfortable coming to you if they’re unhappy, concerned, or have a need that’s not being met.
What makes a woman happy in marriage?
Each individual is different, so what makes one person happy in marriage could make another miserable. That’s why cultivating a relationship dynamic characterized by open communication can be paramount in relationships. Topics to consider discussing with your partner could include your love languages, your preferred styles of communication, sexual compatibility and drives, future plans, financial views, and others so you can have a better chance of building a happy marriage together.
How rare is a happy marriage?
It’s not necessarily easy to estimate how common happy marriages are, since people have different definitions—and because not everyone would be honest in a survey on such a topic. It can be helpful to remember that all marriages have their high and low points, and that any healthy long-term relationship will take work, commitment, and compromise from both parties.
Why marriage is important?
Marriage is important for some people as a way to solidify their bond in the eyes of their religion or government. They may feel emotionally keep at the idea of a lifelong commitment. Others aren’t interested in marriage or don’t feel like it’s important for their lives. Deciding what makes the most sense for you around marriage and communicating your desires to your partner, if applicable, is usually key.
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