Why Do I Hate My Husband Sometimes?
When we marry someone, the words for better or for worse are often included in the vows. Most of us take the phrase "or worse" to mean life circumstances- like sickness, job loss, financial issues, faulty plumbing - you know, things like that. In our love-muddled brains,we do not realize that also means when the man we married is at his worst. Unless we have cohabitated with someone for more than six months prior to the nuptials, we are in for a rude awakening when reality sets in and there are days our mamas never told us about.
As females, we have been groomed- literally- to take care of ourselves and make ourselves as pleasing as possible to our partners. We shave, we wax, we pluck, and we perfume every nook and cranny of our bodies to be just perfect. We know that attraction is based on pheromones and what nature has not given us, we must make up for with Scope and a little Calvin Klein.
When our mates become comfortable and forget to brush, or do not set the clock to wake up and brush before the first morning kiss, we are in the awful predicament of kissing a mouth that smells like something has died in there, or holding our breaths to avoid hurting his feelings. Most of us recognize the irony of making sure anywhere he decides to travel with that mouth of his is clean and ready for some good loving, then to be disrespected by foul mouth. The resentment can start to settle in really fast.
Farting in Bed
This one is a real pet peeve. If we think about the biology of a fart then there is no real argument when it comes to whether or not it should be done in public. The argument that flatulence is a natural condition may be so, but so is urinating and no one does that in the middle of the living room or the bed. Sometimes the expulsion of gas expels more than air, and it only takes one time of having to clean that off the bed linens to kill the libido. Not kidding. Yes, this is enough to make a woman hate her husband.
Sometimes men think their job stress is more important than a woman's job stress. This is somehow innate and is really in the second decade of the millennium no longer an accepted truth. Men are no longer expected to be, or the sole breadwinners. More women than ever are competing in job markets that were once dominated by men. Yet, it is true that women on average make less than men in most jobs. In many households, women are still expected to bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan, all the while feeding and bathing kids, walking the dog, doing the laundry and dishes. Yes, this is enough to make a woman hat her husband.
No Date Night for the Weary
Women are tired. They work hard and they often carry the emotional burdens of everyone around them, including their husbands. We begin to ask ourselves why we got married in the first place. The answer is obvious. We love the man we married, or loved him when he took us to dinner and planned fun dates with friends. Now, there are bills to pay, college funds, and chores.
None of this has anything to do with reasons to marry. However, they all have something to do with being married. The little things like hygiene and gas become big arguments when a couple does not attend to the more important parts of the relationship.
To a woman when a man farts in bed or does not brush his teeth, it says to her that he does not care if she is attracted to him or not. So, when an argument erupts over an important issue like money, kid's grades, or even where to go on vacation, these little things reside in the back of a woman's mind, and yes, it makes her hate her husband.
No matter how many articles one reads with relationship tips, none of them can meet every need head on. Each relationship is unique and so are the issues, or at least how the two individuals feel about and react to them. Couples therapy is an excellent way to clear the air, to voice the unspeakable, and get issues resolved that are getting in the way of love and making you feel the very opposite of it.