My Husband Hates Me – How Can I Save Our Marriage?
Believing that someone no longer loves you, although you are still in love, is a lonely, desperate feeling.If you're thinking, "My husband hates me", you may also wonder if it's possible to save your marriage.
The first thing to consider before throwing up our hands and deciding all is hopeless is that we may just be blowing everything out of proportion. Marriage, typically, is a rocky road, with a lot of arguments and times we wished we had not said something that suddenly exploded in the heat of the moment.
Husbands who hate will take arguments one of two ways. Either they will retreat, becoming more silent and remote over time, or their own arguments will become more explosive. Change the way you communicate. Speak calmly, stick to your guns if it means preserving your personal integrity, but don't make accusations. Don't fault-find. Realize that he also has to preserve his personal integrity. When you can't find accord, you might find compromise or at least respect for each other's point of view.
My Husband Hates Me…Or Could It Just Be Low-Self Esteem?
Think back to when you first started thinking that your husband hates you, and then contrast that to how good the marriage used to be when you first met. Do you remember feeling so positive and committed at one time? Maybe you thought you could take on the world. Now, you're trying to pay off the mortgage on a house. You totaled a relatively new car and haven't had a real vacation in three years. Maybe it's stress. Feelings of hate could just be that everything is going sour, you "hate" your life, but not necessarily each other.
According to a Yale University study, viewing a relationship as all good or all bad is a sign of low self-esteem. Love - hate relationships are a normal part of that bumpy roller coaster ride we take throughout life. Those who idealize a relationship while everything is going well and classify it as faulty when things get rough are looking for the perfect partner, the handsome prince carrying Cinderella to happily ever after.
Nothing Stays the Same
Every day of our lives, we go through changes. Some are so small we barely notice them, but with time they alter the way we look at ourselves and on life. Those lumpy spots are usually just the stumbling blocks placed in the road. Shared hardships as well as shared joys are what mold us into those venerable old folks who have learned to love each other every step of the way. When the odds seem overwhelming, seek marriage counseling and learn to communicate with each other as you ride out the rough spots.
For more information on relationships, don't hesitate to contact our live counselors at BetterHelp.com. We can help you sort through your worries and offer professional guidance as to whether this relationship can be saved.