Parenting can be full of ups and downs, no matter your child's age. While happy moments may make you love your role as a caretaker, challenging times may lead to stress and questioning your ability to care for your children adequately.
This range of emotions can be natural and something every parent experiences. However, it may still be challenging to navigate. Professional parent counseling can be one way that parents seek help for themselves and their children.
What Is Parent Counseling?
Several forms of counseling may benefit parents when facing challenging situations or dealing with difficult emotions related to their children. They may seek family therapy sessions involving both parent and child, turn to child-centered play therapy, or pursue individual counseling for their children. Parent counseling is another effective option.
Parent counseling may provide parents with a safe space to discuss their parenting experience, including highlights and challenges. A professional therapist may listen to a parent and ask thoughtful questions while gaining a greater understanding of the individual's role in their family.
As the parent and counselor interact during the sessions, the parent may learn more about their parenting style and how their actions affect their children. In doing so, they may understand how to better face challenges and parent in a healthy way for the whole family. Parents do not necessarily need to be experiencing challenges to seek therapy or parenting advice.
What To Expect When You Begin Parent Counseling
Parent counseling can be a vital tool for parents facing conflict in their relationships with their children. While individual counseling sessions may depend on the individuals and their challenges, the following are often components of parent counseling.
Learning About Parenting Styles
Many parents recognize that their child has a will of their own when the child begins to learn verbal and non-verbal communication skills.
It is common for parents to believe conflict arises when a child first communicates opposition to a parental command or a rule. However, conflict may arise from how a parent addresses a child's opposition. Parent counseling may also help you identify your parenting style, which can relate to how you handle this opposition.
One style of parenting is called "authoritarian." Authoritarian parents may feel they have the final say and that "no means no." Parents who follow the authoritarian style may have difficulty adjusting their composure when their child is having a bad day or acting defiantly. Parent counseling may help you empathize more with your child and improve your understanding of the dynamics in your family unit.
Another parenting style is "authoritative." Authoritative parents may be democratic in their approach to a child's opposition while setting firm behavioral limits. They demonstrate empathy, acceptance, and understanding and often view discipline as a teaching opportunity.
Authoritative parenting is a recommended style by parent counseling experts, and learning how to utilize this style could be a vital component of the therapeutic process.
Permissive parenting is another parenting style. Parents who practice this may not establish strict rules or expectations for their children. Children may be left to figure things out on their own as they make mistakes, with few instances of punishment.
The final parenting style is "uninvolved." Parents who use this style may meet a child's basic needs while staying largely uninvolved in the rest of their life. They may not set firm boundaries. Often, they do not punish their children but do not offer positive guidance either.
Aside from these general parenting styles, parents may also vary in style across the world. Children from various countries may grow up under different parental expectations. If children are brought into American culture after beginning their childhood in another culture, cultural differences may increase tension, causing additional stress in the parents' and child's lives.
Investigating Family Dynamics
Other factors outside of parenting style can impact family dynamics. A therapist may speak with parents to understand the family size, the role of any other caregivers in the children's development, and household income. The therapist can then communicate with the parent to help them understand how these factors may impact their role as a parent.
Learning About Your Child
In therapy, the counselor may help the parent reach a deeper understanding of themselves and their child. The counselor can help parents identify problems that the child may not yet be able to express or understand. They can bring in knowledge of where the child is developmentally and how it might relate to the conflict that is taking place. In this way, parent counseling can provide a unique and valuable education for the parent, their children, and the family as a whole.
Providing Explanations For Your Decisions
Many conflicts with your child may happen when you make a parenting decision that your child disagrees with. Parent counseling therapists may suggest remembering that your child might understand more than you believe they do. Therefore, it may help to give them a genuine reason behind each unpopular decision you make. "Because I said so" may pop out now and then. However, a child may not understand this approach.
Helping your child understand your thought process may give them more respect for your authority. For example, you may say, "I told you that you needed to clean your room before you can leave with your friends, and it's essential to me that you learn to keep your commitments." Eventually, your child may fully grasp that you have their best interest and the well-being of your family in mind.
The Pressure Of Parenting Well
Parents may sometimes resist going to parent counseling for parent-child conflicts because they fear mental health professionals will harshly judge them. However, the role of the parent counseling therapist is to work with the parent and family, not against them.
Taking steps to improve your relationship with your child may be something to admire, not judge. Many parent coaching professionals understand and practice this approach.
Therapists are often aware that the parent is the one who has the most power to bring positive change in the family. They may see a parent's well-being as a crucial part of a peaceful home environment. By following their lead and accepting support for your well-being, you may better support your child or children. It can be frightening to begin parent counseling, but many parents find the experience worthwhile.
Therapy May Begin With The Parent
In some cases, parent-child therapy may begin with the child. The child might go to a therapist for play therapy or individual counseling, and the parent may be called in for support. While many children still participate in one-on-one counseling, treatment for parent-child conflicts is often focused on parent counseling. This may be because parents often significantly influence what goes on in the family.
Additionally, one or both parents sometimes have health problems or mental health challenges affecting their relationship with their children. In cases like this, a therapist may also provide mental health counseling and create a treatment plan for the parent's mental health issues.
Parent Therapy May Take Time
Parents may feel overwhelmed by conflict when they begin parent counseling. They may need to hear suggestions a few times and spend time considering what they have learned in parent counseling before successfully implementing their new skills.
Therapy may take some time before it produces noticeable results. Be patient with yourself as you learn new ways of managing difficult situations, and try not to put pressure on yourself, your family, or your child to do everything right immediately.
Parent counseling may provide benefits to any family unit facing parent-child conflict. Receiving therapy is often not a reflection of your ability as a parent. Seeking expert, professional advice and support can demonstrate your level of caring for your child and your whole family.
Studies show that parent counseling may make a positive difference. A recent study found that parents who participated in a six-session parent counseling program scored significantly higher than their pre-therapy results on emotional support, satisfaction, involvement, communication, limit setting, autonomy, role orientation, and dealing with their parent-child relationship.
Many parents find themselves "too busy" to attend family therapy. In this case, you may benefit from online treatment, which allows you to participate in a session from home in a way that works for you. You can even attend a session between driving to soccer practice and picking up dinner, as long as you have an internet connection.
Online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp may be a practical solution for your children and family. If you're unsure about how to start, consider reaching out and seeing how online therapy can benefit you.