Does My Ex Think About Me, Or Have They Forgotten All About Me?
By: Robert Porter
Updated February 26, 2021
Medically Reviewed By: Ema Jones, LCSW
Unless a person is officially diagnosed with amnesia, no one forgets about an important relationship from the past. If the relationship significantly affected you, touched you, or changed the way you think about yourself, you will always remember it. This is especially true if you're a sensitive or nostalgic person. When a relationship meant a lot to you, it can be distressing to think that your ex has forgotten about you. Know that you're not alone. Many people wonder if a former partner still thinks about them.
It can be pretty hard to stop thinking about an ex-lover. You might have one ex that seems to be on your mind more often than others. Whether you haven't had any contact with that person in a long time or you've just broken up with them, you might be wondering if they ever think about you. Is it possible that they've moved on to the point where they've completely forgotten about you? Depending on the bond that you shared, it's actually very likely that they think about you from time to time.
Thinking About Your Ex
Thinking about an ex isn't unusual. It's normal to wonder what someone is up to or to think about old times fondly. Even though it's common, be sure to keep your thoughts from veering into negative territory. For example, pining for an old lover likely isn't the healthiest thing for you in the long run. It will keep you from moving on and enjoying your life. At the same time, it's okay to remember that you're human, and it's normal to miss someone if you cared about them in the past.
Some people even experience anxiety or depression after a relationship ends. Luckily, many people have been able to find happiness again with certain tools, such as time, the support of friends or family, and counseling. If you're worried about your ex and wondering whether he or she is thinking about you, too, then try not to overthink things. If you do become depressed or anxious due to these thoughts, know that support is available for you.
If they truly don't remember you, it would mean you weren't a significant part of their life. That's the fear inherent in the question, "Does my ex think about me?" It's natural to be afraid that someone who once loved you deeply has forgotten about you. It also makes sense that you might feel hurt or even depressed when you think about this. However, you might feel better after looking at the situation objectively. Start by asking a few questions.
Was the Relationship One-Sided?
It can be easy to forget a one-sided relationship, especially for the person who was pursued. In this case, the "relationship" involved little to no effort or commitment on one side. However, if your relationship was mutual, both of you were a part of it. While you and your ex might want to forget the rough patches, the good times are probably pleasant memories for both of you.
No relationship is all good or all bad. If you say your relationship was completely awful, you're engaging in black-and-white thinking, which you can learn about in Cognitive Behavior Therapy. For now, know that relationships have good times and bad times, and it can be fun to remember the good times.
How Much Time Did You Spend Together?
People who spend a lot of time together on a regular basis don't forget those core moments. Even if they don't think of them every day, similar situations will call those times to mind. For example, maybe your ex walks down the street and passes an Italian restaurant where you two had a romantic date. He will remember you at that moment. The same thing might happen to you! Little things remind people of one another, especially if you've spent a great deal of time together. On the other hand, if you rarely saw or interacted with your ex, they might not have a great deal to remember.
Memory is an interesting thing. If you don't store a memory when it happens, that may mean that it wasn't significant or important to you. However, just because they don't remember something that was important to you doesn't mean that you weren't important to them. It simply means they might have valued other parts of the relationship more.
Sometimes memories require a different kind of trigger before we think about someone we no longer see. For example, he might remember you if prompted by something a friend says or if he sees an old picture of you two on social media.
Did You Interact in Other Ways When You Couldn't Be Together?
If someone is an important part of your life, it's normal to want to connect with them even when you're apart. You might have called or texted each other, written letters or emails, or met in a chat room or on Skype. Each of these interactions creates a shared memory. He might stumble across an old email and think fondly of you.
Don't underestimate the value of connecting romantically online. Think about all of the popular dating sites or apps. Internet dating allows people get to know one another in a profound way and intimate way. It's a way to stay connected even when you can't be together as much as you'd like.
Did You Work Together to Accomplish Any Mutual Goals?
Even though you didn't stay together, your ex will most certainly remember the times when you worked together to accomplish something. That success became a part of them, even though you're not longer together. Any time they build on that success, they'll remember how you achieved those first steps together-it can even be something as simple as putting furniture together. Things like that can be harder than you think, so they create a feeling of shared success.
Did You Face Any Life Challenges Together?
If the two of you faced a major life crisis together, you have shared memories that you'll both retain for most, if not all, of your lives. A life challenge can bring a relationship together or tear it apart. In either case, it is significant to both people involved. We often have strong memories about the most trying times in our lives, and if you went through something like this together, it's bound to have created a strong bond.
You remember it, and so does your ex. If you reconnect, you can bring it up, and you'll both have different memories of the event to share with each other. This should reinforce the fact that the time you spent together was significant, real, and impactful for both of you. Human beings have the capacity to change one another's lives for the better. If you supported each other through a challenge, you know exactly how that feels.
Does My Ex Think About Me: What to Do When You're Still Unsure
Maybe these questions have helped you realize that it's normal to think about an ex from time to time, and maybe you're ready to move on. On the other hand, you might still wonder if your ex has forgotten about you. Thinking too much about what your ex thinks can keep you stuck in the past. In addition to keeping you from finding a new relationship, it can also prevent you from meeting your current needs and fulfilling your greatest ambitions. If you just can't stop thinking about your ex, it might be time to consider talking to an online therapist.
A good therapist can help you find the answers you need, so you can begin to move on. This is a great opportunity for you to focus on what you need in your life. Ultimately, life isn't about your ex. It's about what you want to accomplish: your goals, your strengths and what you see yourself achieving. An online therapist can help you focus on yourself, so you can enjoy life more in the future. Read below to learn more about how BetterHelp counselors have helped people experiencing similar issues.
"Julia is a very open-minded, understanding and warm-hearted person. She listened with kindness and without judgement. Her advice helped me tremendously through a bad break up and ensuing personal problems. Her advice and understanding has been very helpful in guiding me to a healthier mind frame."
"I've already mentioned to a couple of friends/family that I love the ease and autonomy of not sitting in someone's office. George seemed intuitive and gave me some insight as to my Ex's behavior and why things may be for the best."
Will my ex-boyfriend forget about me if I don't contact him?
No, they won't forget about you. The thing is, even if you don't get back together, they won't ever forget about you.
You created memories together, and while they might become a little vague over time, chances are they will never ever totally get you out of their mind.
But, they may not want to remember you all that much, which is why, if they don't want to talk to you, sometimes it's better not to speak to them. They need space after a breakup, and providing that is a form of respect
Do exes miss you?
Exes can miss you. After all, a breakup is a loss, and chances are, they're feeling similar to how you're feeling. They might come back around and talk to you again, but if you were a big part of their life, they will miss you.
Even if cheating or trust issues were the reason for a breakup, you both created memories, so naturally, missing you is a part of their life. But don't feel sad that they do.
Give them space and let them work through their feelings.
How do you know if an ex still thinks about you?
If they contact you, that can be a sign. Usually, after breakups, the parties separate. They need time to themselves. Both parties feel sad for losing the other person, even if things weren't all that happy when you ended things.
If your ex is trying to contact you, or maybe even trying to speak to you at weird hours, then it might be a sign they still think about you. Another big sign is social media. If they somehow didn't get rid of you, whether, via an unfriend or a straight block, it might mean that they miss you. If they still check in, chances are they still think about you.
But, sometimes, it's best to understand the difference between checking in as a friend or checking in as something more. If you were friends beforehand and can still stay friends, then they care about you still, but in more of a friend way.
How long does it take for an ex to miss you with no contact?
It depends on what they have going on. For some, it can be one day. For others, it can be weeks or even a few months. Sometimes, it might even take years. But, chances are if you don't hear from them after 2.5 months, the odds of getting them back will decrease by manifold.
So usually, anywhere within 2.5 months is usually the time period. But, if it really is the end, you may not hear from them again. In general, though, usually, contact is initiated after around 3-4 weeks' time.
How your ex feels during no contact?
It depends on what's going on in their life. At first, they might be calm about their decision and assured. Then, they might be worried after they don't hear back from you. This can take about a week or two. Sometimes, they ger angry after that, since they're being ignored by you.
After that, around 2.5-3 weeks after, they will try to confront you about what they've lost. After that, after 3-4 weeks, there is hope of contact, and of course, that's when you both try to contact one another and work it out. Of course, this may be a little different, depending on what's going on in a person's life. If they're stressed out, it may be longer. If they already have someone else, it may not be at all.
The emotions can vary. Sometimes they'll feel sad, other times they may not care. It's different for everyone.
Does the dumper ever miss the dumpee?
Of course. If they dumped the other person, it creates a loss for them. They might feel sad. And, unless it's an abusive situation, chances are they'll miss you.
But, sometimes, they may miss the person they dumped because of the times they had together and what they shared. That may not mean they want to even contact you or try again; they just miss how it made them feel.
Is my ex thinking about me during no contact?
Yes. During no contact, they totally can. Exes at first will ignore their feelings. Usually, that's the "honeymoon" stage where they play it off, think they're calm and collected for this decision. But then, they don't hear from you, and they feel worry and anger. After that, they might try to reach out to you again.
They might get angry when you start to ignore them. But then, you might notice them try to confront you, or even beg for you after you've broken up. That does happen, and it's like clockwork.
The reactions in stage three usually depend. Sometimes they might lash out. Sometimes, they might try to make amends. But, during all of this, they are thinking of you, no matter what.
Will I ever hear from my ex again?
Depends. Do they put an effort there to talk to you? Do they actually want you around after the relationship is said or done?
If yes, then you will. If they try to contact after then, yes. If they ignore, or they don't act like they want to contact you, then chances are they might not.
If they aren't responding back, or maybe they do, but the conversation is going nowhere, chances are they're distancing themselves from you. If you can't even get your texts answered, that might be a sign that they want nothing to do with you.
Do guys miss you after a breakup?
They can. If you were a part of their life for a while and made them happy, they will feel sad. After all, everyone gets sad when they lose someone. Guys aren't immune to these feelings, either. They could miss you, but the big thing to remember is to keep the no contact rule in place and make sure to use that to get your ex back.
However, if the relationship was one-sided, you're less likely to hear from them. After all, they didn't put the effort there, so, unfortunately, they may have no desire to put the effort there to contact you after the fact.
Letting go of your ex isn't always an easy thing to do. Luckily, you don't have to face this alone. With the right tools, moving forward to a fulfilling relationship is possible-take the first step today.
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