Unless a person is officially diagnosed with amnesia, no one forgets about a meaningful relationship from the past. If the relationship significantly affected you, touched you, or changed the way you think about yourself, you will never forget it. This is especially true if you're a sensitive or nostalgic person. When a relationship means a lot to you, it can be distressing to think that your ex has forgotten about you. Know that you're not alone. Many people wonder if a former partner still thinks about them.
It can be pretty hard to stop thinking about an ex-lover. You don't have to navigate these feelings alone, as online therapy is a convenient and affordable option for support.
You might have one ex that seems to be on your mind more often than others. Whether it’s right after the breakup or you haven't had any contact with that person in a long time, you might wonder if your ex thinks about you. Is it possible they've moved on to the point where they've completely forgotten about you?
Thinking About Your Ex
Thinking about an ex isn't unusual. It's normal to wonder what someone is up to or to think about old times fondly. Even though it's common, try to keep your thoughts from veering into negative territory. Pining for an old lover likely isn't the healthiest thing for you in the long run. It can keep you from moving on and enjoying your life. Ruminating about the heartbreak, loneliness, or overall longing from nostalgia doesn't help the pain or sadness in the long run. At the same time, it's okay to remember that you're human, and it's normal to miss someone if you cared about them in the past.
You might worry that if your ex genuinely doesn’t remember you, it would mean you weren't a significant part of their life. That's the fear inherent in the question, "Does my ex think about me?" It's natural to be afraid that someone who once loved you deeply has forgotten about you. It also makes sense that you might feel hurt or depressed when you think about this. You even hope that your ex thinks of you from time to time. However, you might feel better after looking at the situation objectively. Start by asking a few questions.
Was The Relationship One-Sided?
It can be easy to forget a one-sided relationship, especially for the pursued person. In this case, the "relationship" involved little to no effort or commitment on one side. However, if your relationship was mutual, you were a part of it. While you and your ex might want to forget the rough patches, the good times are probably pleasant memories for both of you. An article or anything with information on minds and how women, men, and people get over breakups can be helpful signs and messages on your reality and story.
No relationship is all good or all bad. If you say your relationship was utterly awful, you are likely engaging in black-and-white thinking. This is an unhelpful thought pattern that you can learn about through cognitive behavioral therapy. For now, know that relationships have good times and bad times, and it can be fun to remember the good times. You might want to recall a phone call or message to channel your energy and attention into the positive version of the story.
How Much Time Did You Spend Together?
People who spend much time together regularly don't forget those core moments. Even if they don't think of their ex daily, certain similar situations may call those times to mind. For example, maybe your ex walks down the street and passes an Italian restaurant where you two had a romantic date. They may remember you at that moment. The same thing might happen to you! Little things remind people of one another, especially if you've spent much time together.
Memory is a complicated thing. If you don't store a memory when it happens, that may mean it wasn't significant to you. However, just because your ex doesn't remember something that you considered important doesn't mean that you weren’t significant to them. It simply means they might have valued other parts of the relationship more.
Sometimes memories require a different trigger before we think about someone we no longer see. For example, they might remember you if prompted by something a friend says or if they see an old picture of you two on social media.
Did You Interact In Other Ways When You Couldn't Be Together?
If someone is an essential part of your life, it's normal to want to connect with them when you're apart for a long period. You might have called or texted each other, written letters or emails, or met in a chat room or on Skype. They might stumble across an old email and think fondly of you.
Did You Work Together To Accomplish Any Mutual Goals?
Even though you broke up, your ex may remember when you worked together to accomplish something. That success became a part of them, even though you've decided to break things off. Any time they build on that success, they'll remember how you achieved those first steps together - it can even be something as simple as a piece of furniture that you assembled together.
Did You Face Any Life Challenges Together?
A life challenge can bring a relationship together or tear it apart. In either case, it is significant to both people involved. We often have strong memories about the most trying times in our lives, and if you went through something like this together, it's bound to have created a strong bond.
You remember it, and likely so does your ex. This should reinforce that the time you spent together was significant and impactful for both of you. Human beings can change one another's lives for the better. If you supported each other through a challenge, you know exactly how that feels.
What To Do When You're Still Unsure About An Ex
Maybe these questions have helped you realize that it's normal to think about an ex from time to time, and perhaps you're ready to move on. On the other hand, you might still wonder if your ex has forgotten about you. Overthinking your ex's thoughts can keep you stuck in the past. In addition to keeping you from finding a new relationship, it can prevent you from meeting your current needs and fulfilling your greatest ambitions. If you can't stop thinking about your ex, it might be time to consider talking to an online therapist.
Many people seek the help of a therapist for commonly experienced life challenges, such as transitioning careers, navigating breakups, or mourning the loss of a loved one -- you do not need to be diagnosed with a mental illness to experience the benefits of therapy. With online therapy, you can schedule videoconferences with your online counselor at convenient times, so that you don't have to miss out on other important priorities. Alternatively, you can speak by phone or send text messages at the moment.
Online therapy has shown effectiveness in supporting people as they strive to overcome difficult situations and emotional challenges. In a recent online intervention, researchers determined that an internet-based cognitive behavioral therapy approach was successful in helping young adults improve their self-esteem and ability to forgive after a breakup from a romantic relationship. It is worth noting that a group therapy component of this eight-week study likely had an impact on facilitating positive emotions and attitudes regarding moving on from a breakup.
"Julia is a very open-minded, understanding, and warm-hearted person. She listened with kindness and without judgment. Her advice helped me tremendously through a bad breakup and personal problems. Her advice and understanding have been constructive in guiding me to a healthier mind frame."
"I've already mentioned to a couple of friends/family that I love the ease and autonomy of not sitting in someone's office. George seemed intuitive and gave me insight into my Ex's behavior and why things may be for the best."
Frequently Asked Questions
Will my ex-boyfriend forget about me if I don't contact him?
It’s unlikely that an ex will forget about you, even if you don’t communicate with them after the breakup. Relationships tend to make a large emotional impact on both people involved, so it’s likely your ex will remember you and the relationship even after the breakup.
Do exes miss you?
In relationships, we often bond very closely with another person. We spend a lot of time with them, develop rituals and traditions as a couple, and become increasingly attached as time goes on. So, it is common and normal for exes to miss each other, even after deciding it’s best not to be together.
How do you know if an ex still thinks about you?
If you’re wondering if an ex still thinks about you, the answer is probably yes. This is simply because we create deep bonds with the people we have relationships with, and our memories of our former partners don’t just disappear after a breakup. However, if your ex is consistently reaching out to you or interacting with you on social media, these may be clear signs that your ex is still thinking of you.
How long does it take for an ex to miss you with no contact?
For many people, going no contact after a breakup is the most effective way of moving on from a relationship. It’s likely that both partners in the relationship will miss each other in the beginning, especially as they adjust to not speaking with the person they had been so close to.
How does your ex feel during no contact?
Going no contact after a breakup means not reaching out to your ex via phone, text, email, or social media. It can be a very abrupt change, but it is often thought of as the quickest way to move on from a relationship. Your ex may miss you and feel the desire to reach out, but it’s important to remember that communicating too soon after a breakup can sometimes lead to confusing emotions that prevent both parties from moving on.
Does the dumper ever miss the dumpee?
Some people may think that the person who initiates the breakup may not care about or miss their partner after they have separated. However, relationships are complicated, and it’s likely that both partners miss parts of the relationship and their partner even after a breakup.
Is my ex thinking about me during no contact?
If you’re wondering if your ex is thinking about you while the two of you have stopped communicating, the answer is: most likely. This is not necessarily a sign to reach out or try to rekindle the relationship; rather, it is a normal reaction to separating from a person you were once close to.
Will I ever hear from my ex again?
It’s impossible to predict the future, so there’s no way to know for sure if your ex will reach out to you. It’s important to remember that healing your own wounds after a breakup – rather than thinking about your ex – may be a beneficial path to take.
Do guys miss you after a breakup?
No matter how a relationship ends, most people will miss parts of a relationship and aspects of the person they were with, even after they’ve broken up.
How can I tell if my ex is thinking about me?
If your ex is contacting you frequently or engaging with your social media often, this can be a good indicator that they are still thinking of you. However, even if your ex is still thinking about you, it may be healthier to prioritize your own healing and moving on after a breakup rather than fixating on what your ex may be thinking.
How do you know if your ex regrets?
How do I know if my ex wants me back?
Why is my ex always in my mind?
How do you know if your ex is in pain?
How do I make my ex realize his mistakes?
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