Does My Ex Think About Me, Or Have They Forgotten All About Me?

Updated December 22, 2022by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Unless a person is officially diagnosed with amnesia, no one forgets about an important relationship from the past. If the relationship significantly affected you, touched you, or changed the way you think about yourself, you will always remember it. This is especially true if you're a sensitive or nostalgic person. When a relationship meant a lot to you, it can be distressing to think that your ex has forgotten about you. Know that you're not alone. Many people wonder if a former partner still thinks about them.

Thinking Too Much About Your Ex Can Keep You In The Past

It can be pretty hard to stop thinking about an ex-lover. You don't have to navigate these feelings alone, as online therapy is a convenient and affordable option for support.

You might have one ex that seems to be on your mind more often than others. Whether you haven't had any contact with that person in a long time or you've just broken up with them, you might be wondering if they ever think about you. Is it possible that they've moved on to the point where they've completely forgotten about you? 

Thinking About Your Ex

Thinking about an ex isn't unusual. It's normal to wonder what someone is up to or to think about old times fondly. Even though it's common, be sure to keep your thoughts from veering into negative territory. For example, pining for an old lover likely isn't the healthiest thing for you in the long run. It will keep you from moving on and enjoying your life. At the same time, it's okay to remember that you're human, and it's normal to miss someone if you cared about them in the past. Ruminating on the heartbreak, loneliness, or overall longing from nostalgia doesn't help the pain or sadness in the long run. Separation from each other can sometimes lead to yearning and remembering times with wistfulness and affection, when there can be an advantage to also remembering any anguish or misery to remember why it ended.

Some people even experience anxiety or depression after a relationship ends, and might have heightened levels of grief and sorrow. Luckily, many people have been able to find happiness again with certain tools, such as time, the support of friends or family, and counseling. If you're worried about your ex and wondering whether he or she is thinking about you, too, then try not to overthink things. If you do become depressed or anxious due to these thoughts, know that support is available for you.

If they truly don't remember you, it would mean you weren't a significant part of their life. That's the fear inherent in the question, "Does my ex think about me?" It's natural to be afraid that someone who once loved you deeply has forgotten about you. It also makes sense that you might feel hurt or even depressed when you think about this. However, you might feel better after looking at the situation objectively. Start by asking a few questions.

Was The Relationship One-Sided?

It can be easy to forget a one-sided relationship, especially for the person who was pursued. In this case, the "relationship" involved little to no effort or commitment on one side. However, if your relationship was mutual, both of you were a part of it. While you and your ex might want to forget the rough patches, the good times are probably pleasant memories for both of you. An article or anything with information on minds and how women, men, and people get over breakups can be helpful signs and messages on your reality and story.

No relationship is all good or all bad. If you say your relationship was completely awful, you're engaging in black-and-white thinking, which you can learn about in Cognitive Behavior Therapy. For now, know that relationships have good times and bad times, and it can be fun to remember the good times. In order to funnel your energy and attention into the positive version of the story, you might want to recall a phone call or message. There is also guidance you can find in articles regarding how our brain works, and what the advantage is to various stages of getting over someone. A guide on Pinterest or Youtube are good places to start for this content and to find a coach or influencer that can help you and anyone who wants to get over feeling homesick over someone.

How Much Time Did You Spend Together?

People who spend a lot of time together on a regular basis don't forget those core moments. Even if they don't think of them every day, similar situations will call those times to mind. For example, maybe your ex walks down the street and passes an Italian restaurant where you two had a romantic date. He will remember you at that moment. The same thing might happen to you! Little things remind people of one another, especially if you've spent a great deal of time together. On the other hand, if you rarely saw or interacted with your ex, they might not have a great deal to remember.

Memory is an interesting thing. If you don't store a memory when it happens, that may mean that it wasn't significant or important to you. However, just because they don't remember something that was important to you doesn't mean that you weren't important to them. It simply means they might have valued other parts of the relationship more.

Sometimes memories require a different kind of trigger before we think about someone we no longer see. For example, he might remember you if prompted by something a friend says or if he sees an old picture of you two on social media.

Did You Interact In Other Ways When You Couldn't Be Together?

 If someone is an important part of your life, it's normal to want to connect with them even when you're apart. You might have called or texted each other, written letters or emails, or met in a chat room or on Skype. He might stumble across an old email and think fondly of you.

Thinking Too Much About Your Ex Can Keep You In The Past

Don't underestimate the value of connecting romantically online. Think about all of the popular dating sites or apps. Internet dating allows people get to know one another in a profound way and intimate way. It's a way to stay connected even when you can't be together as much as you'd like.

Did You Work Together To Accomplish Any Mutual Goals?

Even though you didn't stay together, your ex will most certainly remember the times when you worked together to accomplish something. That success became a part of them, even though you're not longer together. Any time they build on that success, they'll remember how you achieved those first steps together-it can even be something as simple as putting furniture together. 

Did You Face Any Life Challenges Together?

A life challenge can bring a relationship together or tear it apart. In either case, it is significant to both people involved. We often have strong memories about the most trying times in our lives, and if you went through something like this together, it's bound to have created a strong bond.

You remember it, and so does your ex. This should reinforce the fact that the time you spent together was significant, real, and impactful for both of you. Human beings have the capacity to change one another's lives for the better. If you supported each other through a challenge, you know exactly how that feels.

Does My Ex Think About Me: What To Do When You're Still Unsure

Maybe these questions have helped you realize that it's normal to think about an ex from time to time, and maybe you're ready to move on. On the other hand, you might still wonder if your ex has forgotten about you. Thinking too much about what your ex thinks can keep you stuck in the past. In addition to keeping you from finding a new relationship, it can also prevent you from meeting your current needs and fulfilling your greatest ambitions. If you just can't stop thinking about your ex, it might be time to consider talking to an online therapist.

A good therapist can help you find the answers you need, so you can begin to move on. This is a great opportunity for you to focus on what you need in your life. Ultimately, life isn't about your ex. It's about what you want to accomplish: your goals, your strengths and what you see yourself achieving. An online therapist can help you focus on yourself, so you can enjoy life more in the future. Read below to learn more about how BetterHelp counselors have helped people experiencing similar issues.

Counselor Reviews

"Julia is a very open-minded, understanding and warm-hearted person. She listened with kindness and without judgement. Her advice helped me tremendously through a bad break up and ensuing personal problems. Her advice and understanding has been very helpful in guiding me to a healthier mind frame."

"I've already mentioned to a couple of friends/family that I love the ease and autonomy of not sitting in someone's office. George seemed intuitive and gave me some insight as to my Ex's behavior and why things may be for the best."

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