How To Get Over A Crush

Medically reviewed by Melissa Guarnaccia, LCSW
Updated April 30, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Have you been experiencing emotional challenges as a result of a crush who didn’t have the same feelings for you? If so, you’re not alone. Research shows that most people have been on one or both sides of unrequited love at some point in life.

Sometimes, we may develop feelings for someone but never get to the point of beginning a relationship together. Regardless of how many dates you went on or whether you dated the person at all, it can be difficult to move on from the feelings you have developed. Moving on often requires changing your thought patterns, which can be challenging. However, there are strategies you can use to work on moving on and emerging stronger, such as allowing yourself to feel your feelings before releasing them, trying to see the situation from a new perspective, and focusing on your self-worth. You may also benefit from getting professional help through online therapy. Below, we’ll look at these strategies in more detail.

Worried you’ll never get over your crush?

Allow yourself to feel

In the process of learning how to get over a crush, it may be helpful to acknowledge the feelings you had for them and validate the emotions you now have related to things not working out. It may also help to admit that the situation didn't work out in the way you wanted. You might allow yourself to experience any emotions that arise and cry if you feel the urge to do so. Crying can be a natural response to stress, and it may allow you to release difficult feelings so that you can drop their weight and begin moving forward again.

When you stop allowing yourself to feel the weight of your emotions, it can wind up making you feel worse than you normally would. If you do not accept what has happened, then you may cling to this event in your life for too long. This can be a situation that feels like a weight on your shoulders. Sometimes, you may need to go through the emotional process so that you can come out the other side stronger.

Going through these emotions by yourself may not always be healthy. If you feel like you need support, reaching out to family or close friends may be beneficial.

Accept the situation and let it go

Once you've given yourself time to grieve the loss of a potential relationship, it may be help to employ some strategies to avoid dwelling on it. You may not be able to control what other people think or feel, but you can control your own thoughts and actions. You might choose to focus on other areas of your life that make you happy instead of focusing on this situation. 

This may be easier said than done. It can be common to dwell on negative or sad emotions at times, and if you find this is the case for you, you may benefit from reaching out for help or engaging in distractions, such as hobbies. Throwing yourself into other activities that you love may help keep you from focusing on the person you had a crush on.

For example, if you are an avid sports fan, then watching or playing some sports might be a good idea. Research shows that exercise can cause the body to release endorphins, which can help to improve mood. Whatever you do, it can be beneficial to focus on the positive things in your life. This may help you heal, and it can separate you from the situation that may have been holding you back.


Try to see the situation from a new perspective

When you must admit that a crush will not evolve into a relationship, the emotional side of your brain may want to focus on the idea that you did not get what you wanted. It may be helpful to rationally consider the reasons why you may not have been compatible with the person you had a crush on.

In one study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology, researchers examined participants who were going through a breakup and showed them a picture of their ex while they engaged in different strategies to move on. When they were shown the picture of their ex while engaging in a “negative reappraisal” of their ex, they experienced decreased love feelings. This research suggests that a more complete appraisal that includes some of the less favorable things about a relationship may help during the aftermath of a breakup.

Also, it may help to remember that not being compatible with someone you have feelings for does not mean that there is something wrong with you. It may lead you to find someone else with whom you are compatible on multiple levels.

Focus on your self-worth

Experiencing a crush can sometimes lead someone to experience a dip in their self-esteem. If this is the case for you, know that you are not alone and that this doesn’t have to last in the long term. You might try focusing on your self-worth, recognizing all your strong points, and realizing that you are worthy of love while still being whole and complete on your own.

It can be beneficial not to close your mind to new possibilities just because you didn't get what you wanted out of this potential relationship. This may sound challenging, but it may help to remember that many people who were once in a similar situation found someone with whom they are more compatible.  

Worried you’ll never get over your crush?

Overcome feelings for your crush with online therapy

Therapy with a licensed mental health professional may be a helpful way to discuss your thoughts and feelings about your crush and learn how to overcome them. If you’re not interested in traditional in-office therapy, you may find that online therapy is a better fit for you. Research has shown online therapy to be just as effective as in-office therapy for a variety of concerns, and it tends to be more convenient. 

With BetterHelp, you can talk to a licensed therapist from the comfort of your home via phone, live chat, or videoconferencing. You also gain in-app messaging through which you can contact your therapist at any time day or night, and they’ll respond as soon as they can. This feature may be especially helpful if you have thoughts or feelings to express in between sessions.


When we have strong feelings for someone that are not returned, it can be challenging to overcome them. Having a crush on someone that doesn’t lead to a relationship may lead you to go through a type of grieving process. However, it can be possible to accept and move past these feelings by first allowing yourself to feel them, perhaps with the support of friends or family. It may also be helpful to try to think about the situation from a different perspective and focus on your own self-worth. You may also benefit from talking to a licensed therapist who has experience helping people in similar situations. Take the first step toward getting over a crush and contact BetterHelp.
Build healthy relationship habits with a professional
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.
Get the support you need from one of our therapistsGet started