Protecting Your Mental Health: Tips For How To Stop Liking Someone

There are many reasons why one may want to stop liking someone romantically. Maybe you have strong feelings for a close friend, but you don’t want to jeopardize the friendship. You might be going through a breakup, or maybe it’s a person in your life that’s not available at the moment. These common scenarios might be challenging to deal with, particularly for a crush lasting months or a breakup from a long-term relationship. 

However, once you've made up your mind that it might be better to move on from this person, there are things you can do to make moving on from a crush easier. Read on; this post offers tips on how to get over a crush, move forward with your life, and perhaps start dating again when you’re ready to get back out there. 

Why crushes stick around

The brain’s reward loop and romantic idealization

It can be difficult to keep your mind off your crush, especially if you see them often. This is largely due to the fact that crushes are driven by the brain’s reward system. When you imagine being with someone, replay conversations in your innermost thoughts, or fantasize about a future with them, your brain releases a "chemical cocktail" of dopamine, norepinephrine, and reduced serotonin. This mix creates feelings of euphoria, intense focus on the person, and physical symptoms like butterflies, often acting on the brain similar to addiction.  

Situations that prolong a crush

Certain situations can keep a crush alive, even after you’ve decided to try and stop it. For example, seeing old photos, checking social media, getting updates from mutual friends, or continuing to spend time in shared spaces can all reignite feelings. Sometimes, the briefest of reminders can reestablish emotional patterns you’re trying to overcome.

How to stop intense feelings for your crush

If your feelings are so intense that you can’t deal with them, taking practical steps quickly may help lower their intensity and give you an emotional respite. Learning such coping mechanisms may also help you better regulate your emotions when you’re ready to start dating the next person.  

Keep it appropriate

It may be wise to keep your relationship with this person appropriate to the circumstances and avoid things or situations that might spark romance. If you tend to have romantic feelings for your boss, for example, make sure to keep all your interactions professional and respectful. If you find yourself thinking, "Why am I suddenly attracted to my friend?" but know they don't have the same feelings, then you may want to commit to just being good friends. When figuring out how to get over someone, it can be helpful to limit your interactions to ones that are appropriate for your relationship. Try to limit physical contact as well. Eventually, your feelings may start to fade.

Spend time apart and limit social media interactions

Even after trying to keep things friendly or professional with your crush, it is natural for it to still bother you that you can’t be together if you have developed feelings of romance. Perhaps they're always on your mind, and the time you spend thinking about them is getting frustrating, or you have trouble keeping your composure the moment they're around. In that case, it might be best to spend some time apart or stop seeing that person completely, although if you plan to cut ties, you may want to explain your reasoning first; it may worry your friends if you suddenly stop calling. You may also find it helpful to unfollow your crush on social media as well; social media platforms might algorithmically recommend them to you if you are in the same circle of friends, so you may need to temporarily block or mute them as well. Of course, in a work situation, it may not always be possible to completely avoid the person, but it can be helpful to find some way to maintain distance until your feelings subside. 

Set boundaries

Setting boundaries is key. Maybe you're falling for a close friend who always wants you around but may not know you have romantic feelings for them. In this type of situation, setting boundaries can look like limiting the time you spend together and only asking them to join you when you feel comfortable. The goal is to set concrete limits that help you manage your emotional responses and avoid unnecessary stress from mixed messages and potentially false hopes.

Practical rules to limit exposure

Learning how to stop liking someone may mean learning to limit exposure and avoid them. The more space you put between you, the easier you’ll likely make it on yourself to move on. Here are some things that might help:

• • Temporarily unfollow, mute, or block them on social media
• • Set physical boundaries
• • Delete old photos
• • Avoid places you used to run into them
• • Avoid hangouts where you know they’ll be 

Reframe the person: Noticing negative qualities and reality-testing

Many people idealize their crush, painting a more flattering, unrealistic picture of them. Such idealization can keep a crush alive regardless of whether it makes sense to move on or not. Reality-testing is a good way to see the full picture rather than the fantasy version that may be in your mind. 

Exercises for listing positive and negative qualities

To reframe your perspective into one more rooted in reality, write down five positive qualities and five negative qualities about your crush. Keep in mind the purpose of the exercise isn’t to be judgmental; it’s to clarify. Be honest with yourself about things like behaviors, values, communication styles, and lifestyle differences.

How a trusted friend or relationship coach can provide perspective

Trusted friends and/or a relationship coach can offer great advice by helping you identify “blind spots” you might have missed because of your strong emotions. Outside perspectives often make it easier to recognize the places in which you’re incompatible and, in turn, reduce emotional attachment. 

If you’re actively trying not to think about someone, chances are you’re doing just that. Maybe you’re feeling plagued by thoughts and memories of your crush. You may constantly wonder whether your crush likes you back. Perhaps it's a nagging in the back of your mind that seems to intrude whenever you try to block the person out. Your difficulty in stopping yourself from liking this person and pushing them out of your mind can make those thoughts even more persistent and may even cause you to question your other relationships. These unwanted and persistent thoughts are called "intrusive thoughts".

Thought-stopping, journaling prompts, and scheduling worry time

It’s common to experience intrusive thoughts at one point or another, and it can be a challenge to try to get rid of them. However, some strategies may help. For example, when thoughts and emotions about your crush surface, label them without self-judgment. Emotions in particular can be layered and nuanced, and looking at them more closely can redirect your attention.

Journaling can also help with self-reflection. Consider writing an unsent letter expressing your innermost thoughts. and clearly listing the reasons why you want to stop liking your crush. Additionally, some people benefit from scheduling “worry time” to process thoughts and emotions so they don’t interfere throughout the day. 

When to start dating again (and how to choose the next person)

After your crush fades, you may wonder if and when to begin dating again. It isn’t always easy to tell for sure, but only you can know when you’re emotionally ready. Below are some suggestions for where to begin. 

Signs you’re ready to start dating and how to avoid rebound patterns

If thoughts about your crush feel less intense, you’re curious about meeting new people, and you’re no longer comparing everyone else to your crush, you might be ready to start dating again. Moving slowly and staying self-aware can help ensure the next person isn’t a rebound. 

Dating with intention: Look for like-minded people and shared values

When reentering the dating scene, consider:

• Focusing on shared values and emotional availability
• Seeking like-minded people who align with your lifestyle
• Avoid comparing new dates to your past crush
• Seeking guidance from a mental health professional experienced in relationship advice

What to do if your feelings persist for months

A crush can last anywhere from a few days to a few months. Some people experience a crush lasting years. If this is the case, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It may simply mean the attachment is tied to deeper needs or unresolved emotions. 

A reasonable approach to ending your feelings for someone is to walk away and accept the deal you’ve been given. You may have to mourn what you thought might have been. During this grieving process, it’s normal to have feelings of loss. There are a few things you can do to process these feelings, though. These can include the following:

• Acknowledge the difficult emotions: The stress of liking a person you can't date and having unwanted feelings about and around them can be overwhelming at times, and it can also be challenging when you stop loving them and begin to move forward. 
• Practice calming techniques: If you’re feeling anxious, try practicing some calming techniques like yoga or meditation.
• Try relaxation exercises: Deep breathing, a long walk, or anything that will relax you and keep you grounded may do the trick.

When to seek extra help: Talk to a therapist or relationship coach

If you feel you've tried everything to forget your crush and stop liking them with no success, there may still be more you can do. Seeking informed professional advice could be the right move for self-improvement as you navigate intense feelings for a crush and try to move forward in your life. 

Self-compassion and long-term self-improvement

Letting go of a crush can affect your self-esteem, so self-compassion matters. Try to avoid negative self-talk; instead, speak to yourself the same way you would a good friend. Take good care of yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally during this challenging time. 

Small daily habits that rebuild self-esteem and reduce fixation

• Exercising
• Spending time with supportive friends
• Embarking on a new creative project
• Learning a new skill
• Picking up a fun new hobby

When the crush is unrequited, and they are “out of reach” 

If your crush doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, or is “out of reach”—emotionally, geographically, or situationally—creating more space is key. To start, you may want to unfollow, mute, or block them on social media. Avoiding seeing old photos and chats can reduce emotional turmoil and make healing easier. Avoid going to places where you’re likely to run into them, including social engagements. If necessary, let any mutual friends know you’re trying to avoid them. 

Quick scripts to use

Knowing what to say and how to approach such situations can be challenging. Here are a few scripted suggestions for things to say when you need to put some space between you and your crush:  

• “I’m keeping things more business-like right now.”
• “I’m focusing on my personal growth.”
• “I need a bit more space from group updates for a while.”
• “I’ve got a great deal of work on my plate these days.”
• “I’m not ready to start dating again; I’d prefer to stay home.”

Getting support: talk to friends, a coach, or a therapist 

For some people, talking openly with a trusted friend can help prevent isolation and move them forward. Others prefer speaking with a relationship coach or therapist who can offer an objective perspective and provide professional guidance. 

How therapy or short coaching can help you move from rumination to action

Therapy or brief coaching can help you understand your innermost thoughts and shift unhelpful behavior patterns. It can be difficult to talk about your romantic feelings with a stranger, though, particularly in person. Many people find online therapy more comfortable, making it easier to talk openly and consistently get support. Online therapy may provide a solution by making you feel more comfortable expressing yourself. This form of therapy can also be more convenient since you can skip the commute and get mental health services right from home. Internet-based therapy has been proven effective in helping people with relationship problems and can come in many forms, from family, couples therapy to individual therapy. A recent study showed that couples undergoing online counseling felt more in control over the process and more comfortable expressing their feelings with someone in a web-based environment. They also reported an enhanced therapeutic alliance as a result of the online setting, which is a significant predictor of successful therapy. 

The therapists at BetterHelp are trained and ready to assist you. Online therapy can often be more affordable than in-person therapy as well, with prices ranging from $70-$100 $260-$400 monthly (based on factors such as your location, referral source, preferences, therapist availability, and any applicable discounts or promotions that might apply) to have sessions with a qualified therapist. When you’re ready to begin, you can answer a few brief questions to make sure you're matched with the right professional.