The Causes Of Hurting Someone You Love
By: Sarah Fader
Updated January 13, 2021
Medically Reviewed By: Sonya Bruner
There is an old saying that we hurt the ones we love the most. That makes human beings sound pretty horrible, but the truth is that the people who love us are more vulnerable with us, and it's in fact easier to accidentally cause them pain. That said, we cannot discount the fact that certain individuals deliberately cause pain to those they love.
It's really hard when you hurt someone you love, and it feels awful when someone you love hurts you, but getting hurt is a part of life. Everyone makes mistakes. But you must know that apology is necessary after you've hurt the emotions of others.
It's not easy to confront someone you hurt, or someone who made you feel bad, but the more you practice, the better you'll feel about yourself. We'll get into this later in the article.
Why Do We Get Hurt?
It may be troubling when you hurt someone you love. But you can't continue to live with that. There are many reasons why you might hurt someone you love. Maybe you offended them, said something that made them feel emotionally invalidated, or took them for granted. Sometimes you realize you've hurt a loved one, but you have no idea what you did. In those cases, it's okay to ask, "how did I hurt your feelings?" It's important to open that dialogue. It shows that you care and value your loved one's feelings.
The best thing you can do here is to acknowledge that their feelings are hurt and ask what you can do to remedy the situation.
Individuals who seek to deliberately harm loved ones are generally people without remorse. Normally, when you hurt someone you love, you feel horrible and guilty., there are also individuals who are in so much psychological pain due to remorse, guilt, or mental health issues that they cause harm because they feel unworthy of love.
Hurting the Ones You Love
There are many ways that individuals can hurt those they love. The extent of that pain generally depends on the sensitivity of the other person and how invested that person is in the relationship. That is why children in particular have the capacity to hurt their parents more than any other person on the planet. Those we love the most can hurt us the most. This is not because they intend to hurt us, but instead it's because we love them so much that even the slightest sharp tone can prick our hearts. This is a normal part of our most emotionally significant relationships.
However, when we have someone in our lives who is in deep psychological pain or who suffers from a mental illness like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, they may not be fully in charge of their emotions or actions. They may say and do things that are incomprehensible--things that leave their loved ones feeling hurt, angry, frightened, and even betrayed. They do not necessarily intend to hurt the one they love, but their behavior has a strong impact nonetheless.
With Deliberation or Not?
There's a big difference between a person who has a mental illness that causes them to project pain onto their loved ones and an individual who calmly makes hurtful remarks or performs hurtful actions. This kind of cruel individual can assess a situation and know exactly when and how best to direct slings and arrows toward their target. To make matters even worse, this individual knows exactly how to make amends. They'll gain forgiveness and make sure the hurtful words or actions are all but forgotten -- until the next time.
When we are the target of hurtful words or actions, it's important to take a moment to stand in that person's shoes and look at things from their perspective. If we love someone who is in pain or who has a mental illness, we should try to get help for them and for ourselves, so we can learn to cope. Sometimes people hurt us because they feel bad about themselves, and at other times the people we love hurt us because they are sick and need help. Without proper treatment, we cannot expect these issues to simply resolve themselves.
It is not easy to convince someone who is in psychological pain or distress to seek therapy. If they are hurting you, they are doing so from a source of pain that can be difficult to understand. There are resources available to help loved ones who are the target of pain inflicted by someone they love. Speaking to a licensed mental health professional can help you sort things out and put things into perspective.
For more information on how to cope when you hurt someone you love or when they hurt you, visit Betterhelp to connect with a licensed therapist via email, text, and video chat.
BetterHelp Can Support You
The online counselors at BetterHelp care deeply about your feelings. They want to help you gain emotional awareness and learn to respect other people's emotions. When you talk to an online counselor at BetterHelp, you'll feel emotionally validated. Whatever your issues are, they're there to listen and provide support. If you hurt someone you love, they won't judge you. They'll talk with you and help you understand how to remedy the situation. If you're feeling hurt by someone you love, they'll help you develop the skills to express your feelings and manage the situation. Hurting people is unavoidable at times, but online therapy is an excellent place to heal your wounds, so you can learn how to have great relationships. Read below for some reviews of BetterHelp counselors, from people experiencing similar issues.
"Pamela is vibrant and bubbly but at the same time unpacks difficult issues in a clear and concise manner with both seriousness and humor which I really appreciate- it's like talking to a supportive friend, I strongly recommend her services."
"Krysten has been an immense help in dealing with and confronting my anger and depression issues. I started to notice immediate changes in my general disposition within a week of working with her. My friends and family have even said I seem less bitter and jaded. And the fact that I can communicate with her frequently has done wonders in keeping me on track and progressing forward. My time working with Krysten and being on BetterHelp has been a positive experience and done much more for me than traditional in-office therapy ever did."
We all hurt people sometimes, but as long as you're aware of your actions and take responsibility for them, you can heal your relationships. Enjoying lasting and fulfilling relationships is possible--with the right tools. Take the first step.
What to Do When You Hurt the Person You Love?
Sometimes, you may find yourself in some situations that deeply affect your emotions. This may be because you hurt someone very precious to you. This may require a special form of resolution. The appropriate question you should ask yourself is "What should I do when I hurt someone I love? The following are what to do:
- Subtle Approach
To fix things up, you must approach the person face to face. This may be the best way through which you get to say you are sorry and request for permission for a conversation to fix what went wrong.
- Be Observant
Endeavor to listen with uttermost concentration to what such a person says. Most times, it comes out of emotions and may sound insulting to you. Your response will decide if the conflict will be resolved or lead to further conflict.
- Proper Acknowledgement
You can take the next step by acknowledging that you know how such a person feels. This may relieve them of their painful emotions.
Also, try to admit that you are at fault and that you would like to normalize the situation by changing for the better.
- Show Some Empathy
Try to show the feeling that you are aware of the unpleasant times you put such a person through. You may also try to repeat what such a person says. After this, ask questions that can clarify the issue.
- Get Professional Assistance
You may want to take this step when the steps above fail. You may seek professional assistance from a marriage counselor (for couples) or a relationship coach. This may help settle the discord.
Why Do You Hurt Someone You Love?
There may be a number of reasons behind your action that affects the person you love. In some situations, being overprotective may affect someone you love. You may hurt someone you love by gaining too much control and thinking that such a person may hurt you emotionally. Everyone loves boundaries. If you don't respect the boundaries of someone you love, such a person may be emotionally hurt.
Your behavior may also lead to hurting a person you love. If your behavior is influenced by sadness, anxiety, trust issue, and grief, you may unintentionally hurt someone you love. This can lead to anger which may make you behave in a very bad way towards such a person.
How Do You Say Sorry for Hurting Someone You Love?
Saying sorry after you've hurt someone you love may be difficult. However, if you wish your relationship to be back to its healthy form, you may want to take the following methods to say sorry:
- Face-to-Face Apology: Verbal apology is the best form of apology when you hurt someone you love. Although it may be difficult, it helps with quick resolution. It's a way you can fix the wrong you've done by admitting what you did, saying you are sorry, promising to turn a new leaf, and asking for ways to rectify the situation in person.
- Written Apology: You can also tender your apology when you hurt someone you love by emailing, texting, or writing a letter of apology to such person.
- Gestures of Apology: When you hurt someone you love, another special way to say you are sorry may be by giving such person a small gift such as flowers, a favorite snack, or a cup of coffee. Attach a note to such a gift with " I'm sorry" written on it. You can also do some other things such as running an errand for such a person or help to prepare dinner.
What Do You Do When You Hurt Someone Emotionally?
It is normal to feel very bad about yourself when you hurt someone you love. To bring things back to normal, here is what you can do:
- See What You've Done as a Big Deal: Emotion is a strong sensation that affects virtually everything about someone. After you've hurt someone this way, you must not minimize the incident or see it as a trivial thing. When you hurt someone you love, endeavor to listen attentively and share the person's feelings or pain.
- Express Your Feelings through Words and Actions: Words are powerful and they can be so helpful after you've hurt the emotion of someone. Saying that you are sorry and expressing how bad you've been feeling after the wrong done can help such a person heal. You may also express your empathy through gifts to show that you've realized your mistakes.
- Be Willing to Apologize: Be sincere with your apology and promise that such won't repeat itself again. Also, try to consistently do things that will build the person's trust and rebuild your intimacy.
How Do You Fix A Broken Relationship?
Every relationship has its ups and downs. When you are facing the tough times in your relationship, instead of quitting you should look for a way to fix it. Here are some of the ways to rectify things when you hurt someone you love:
- Genuine Forgiveness: This is a very vital part that decides if you will move to the next step or not. Ensure that you sincerely forgive your partner.
- Get a Relationship Counselor: This will go a long way in helping your relationship by identifying the problematic areas and recommending ways both of you can reach a better understanding.
- Emphasize Your Partners Good Qualities: This will constantly remind you of how precious such a person is. It will ease your anger and lead to growth in the relationship.
- Be Attentive: You must ensure that you listen to what the other person is expressing. Don't interrupt and misinterpret, but handle issues with understanding and maturity.
- Take Accountability: You must be ready to be accountable for your mistakes and apologize the moment you realize that you've hurt someone you love.
- Go on a Trip Together: This may really help both of you to fix your relationship. Going on a vacation together will help with strong intimacy.
How Do You Get Your Partner's Trust Back After Lying?
Deception can break a relationship. A good relationship is expected to be built on trust. Your partner may tend to lose trust in you when it is discovered that you've been lying in the relationship. So, to get back such a person's trust, take note of the following:
- Be Remorseful: Let your partner know that you have realized your mistakes and that you feel very bad about it.
- Apologize: Don't make excuses. The moment you are found out, don't hesitate to ask for forgiveness.
- Be Honest: Try to come out plain and convincingly explicate the reason behind your lies. Don't try to justify your actions, but show that such won't repeat itself next time.
- Be a Trustworthy Person or a Person of Your Word: This will make you reliable and make your partner have the conviction that you can be trusted again. Also, be plain and don't try to be cunning. Ensure that your promises are consistently fulfilled.
- Listen to Your Partner: You must be ready to listen to how your partner expresses how much it feels hurt when you lied. This may help you think twice before repeating such a mistake another time.
How Do You Make Him Feel Guilty for Hurting You?
There are different ways to prove your worth and make a guy feel guilty for hurting you. You may want to try the following ways:
- Stop Calling and Texting Him: To express your emotions, you may decide to ignore him by stopping your calls and your texts.
- Stop Picking His Calls and Texts: If you don't call him, then don't pick his calls. This will make him realize that you are serious.
- Ignore His Meeting Requests: You may want to show that you don't want to have anything to do with him again by turning down his request to see you.
- Live a Nice Life: Don't act defeated. You need to put yourself together, dress up, and go out with your friends. Update your status on social media and describe yourself in the best way.
Why Does Love Hurt So Much?
Love is a very strong emotion in the human body. It is a sensation that is controlled by some chemistry in the brain. When you hurt someone you love, the reaction of such a person will be triggered by the interpretation the mind offers which is "something is wrong internally". When someone feels hurt, there are some other emotions that may be associated adding to the painful sensation. These emotions include anger, fear, loneliness, helplessness, and jealousy.
How Do You Make Up for Hurting Someone?
Hurting someone, sometimes, may be very disturbing leading to different forms of uneasiness. Therefore in order to make up for hurting such person, you may want to observe the following steps:
- Honesty: The first step to take has to do with yourself. You must be honest with yourself. Don't shift the blame to the person you hurt and try to justify your actions.
- Take Responsibility: Here, you take an urgent step towards an apology, telling such a person that you've done something wrong and that you are ready to make amends.
- Rectify Your Errors: Positive actions are very important when you intend to make up for hurting someone. You can do this by working towards growth in the relationship by doing things that will make it grow stronger.
When Should You Not Apologize in a Relationship?
Apologies are very important to the wellbeing of a relationship. However, there are situations that do not require your apology even when the other person in the relationship is trying to make you feel guilty. You should not apologize:
- If partner seems indifferent about your passions or hobbies
- When you are being inquisitive about something that must be discussed
- When you try to be your natural self
- When you express an opinion
- When you need a little time alone
- For something you are not guilty of
- For making trivial mistakes that are not harmful to your relationship
How Do You Apologize to Someone You Hurt Deeply?
If you love someone, telling them you are sorry after hurting them deeply may be somehow difficult. If you do struggle with this, you may want to observe the following steps:
- Acknowledgment: You can start by acknowledging the obnoxious thing you've done and give an explicit explanation of your mistake of hurting such a person deeply.
- Sincerity: Be plain about the situation and don't make any attempt to justify your wrong act. But endeavor to show that you've realized the mistakes you've made, and ready to accept the responsibility and to turn a new leaf.
- Seek Forgiveness: You must be ready to wait until the person reacts and responds. Sometimes, this may take time. Ensure you give such a person enough time to make the decision of forgiving you.
- Suppress Your Ego: To apologize, saying that you are sorry for what you've done should be impossible. You must cherish your relationship more than your pride.
- Taking Responsibility: You must be ready to accept to take responsibility for your wrongdoings. Ensure that you do not shift the blame on such a person.
- Genuine Contrition through multiple apologies: Sometimes, apologizing may be more than once. You may need to apologize multiple times to get the forgiveness you seek.
- Express your intention towards changing your behavior: You should tell such a person that such a situation won't repeat itself as you are ready to change for better. This indicates that you are genuinely in need of forgiveness and that the future is safe from inappropriate actions.
How Do I Say Sorry to My Soulmate?
There are different ways you can say sorry to your soulmate. After realizing your mistakes with a strong desire to resolve the conflict, you may think of giving your spouse a gift to show that you still love such a person and want the relationship back. Gifts can come in different forms such as flowers or other admirable things. A fancy gift may not totally ease the pain but pave other ways to apologize.
How Do You Get Over Hurtful Words?
Hurtful words can be so damaging if you do not learn how to get over them. Hurtful words may stay in your mind for a very long time which may affect your relationship with other people you love. To get over hurtful words, follow these steps:
- Go Back to Such Comments When there is no Conflict: This will help with the rapid treating of the wound. Ensure that the purpose of revisiting the hurtful words is to get healed not to strike a fight.
- Identify What Caused the Hurtful Words: On several occasions, hurtful words are born out of confrontations. Knowing the cause with help fix things up and continue with your normal life.
- Give Rooms for More Hurt: This may sound funny, but it's a good thing to do. You must be vulnerable to more of them. This will make you strong against repeated hurt.
How Do You Stop Thinking About Someone Who Hurt You?
An incessant thought about someone who hurt you may be very disturbing emotionally. To stop thinking about such person, you may want to observe the following steps:
- Stop Your Calls and Texts: The more you contact someone who hurt you, the more hurt you feel and think about such a person.
- Focus on the Person's Negative Habits: This will help deemphasize the person's good part and let you stop thinking about such a person
- Treat Yourself and Others Well: Get a good life for yourself. You can go out with your friends and watch funny movies with them. The more you entertain yourself, the less you think about such a person. Also, try to be responsible within your immediate community. Get active and be good to others. You may also make a decision of going for a holiday that may distract your attention towards something better.
- Stay Away from Social Media for Sometimes: Social media is a channel through which you may get to meet such person from time to time. So, to avoid this, you must avoid social media and focus on other activities or hobbies.
How Do you Love Someone Again After they Hurt you?
There is always a turn around in any situation. That someone hurts you in a relationship does not mean you can't love again. All you need to do is to know how to get back on your feet. How can this be done?.
- Stop Deliberating on your Past: A continuous deliberation on your heartbreaks may hinder you from loving such person again. Although a heartbreak may feel hurt, you must learn to get over it and move on as soon as possible.
- Trust Again: You must be ready to trust yourself and the other person again. This is a very essential way to make a change.
- Self-worth: Learn to recognize and develop your importance. When you develop your self-worth, to get over being hurt and start to love again will be easy.
- Learn from your Past Experience: Your experience matters. Learning from the lessons taught by your heartbreak will help you love again.
- Take your Time: Give your heart enough time to heal. Try to work on yourself by adjusting your ways and learning to be more socialize.
- Be Realistic: You must know that relationship comes with ups and downs. You must learn to know how to overcome your challenges by making the right decisions.
What are the Signs your Relationship is Over?
There are signs that will help you know that your relationship is over and that the time has come when both of you have to go on your separate ways. These signs include:
- Loss of Physical or Emotionally Intimacy: Relationships are solidly built on both physical and emotional Intimacy. When this is lost, relationships crash. The moment both of you discover that you do not share the same thoughts and opinions, you must know the relationship may already be over. Also, both of you lose interest in sex, you must know that there may not be future for such a relationship
- Disagreements: Unity is a fundamental pillar holding a relationship. The moment it becomes obvious that you can't seem to agree on anything, then this may be a sign that your relationship is over.
- Shifting your Interest to Someone Else: The life of your relationship may be infected by your thought. This may occur when you wish that your partner is someone else or longing to be with another person who's not your partner.
- Lack of Trust: One of the cardinal things that show that you are in a good relationship is when you and your partner trust each other. However, the relationship may crash the moment it becomes difficult to trust your partner.
- Separate Goals: Your goals and vision must match up. However, when they don't, then you must know that the relationship is over.
How Do you Know When a Relationship Is Really Over?
Knowing when your relationship is really over is not farfetched. The moment you begin to see the following indicators, then you should be convinced that the end has come:
- Separation: Your relationship may crash when both of you are drifted apart for years. A long time separation may quench the fire of love between you.
- Abuse: Relationship is expected to be built on love and respect. The moment your pride is punctured and you are consistently abused physically, verbally, emotionally, or financially, you must know that that your good relationship is over.
- Undue Compromise: Your value is who you really are. You start losing your real identity the moment you begin to compromise your values. If your relationship involves compromising your standard and integrity, you must be assured that your relationship is over.
- Loss of interest in Sex with Your Partner: Although sex may not be what a relationship is all about, it determines a lot of things. If your sex life is affected, it may imply that your relationship is running towards the crashing point.
- Unhappy Relationship: If your relationship does not offer you the joy that you desire, it may mean that it's over. If it feels hurt and terrible to be with someone in a relationship, then there is no point in staying in there.
- Communication Issues: Constant communication helps in building a strong relationship. When there is a problem in your relationship, then it means it is over already.
- Feeling Indifferent: Your relationship may be described to be over if you do not care anymore about the one you claim to love.
What are the Signs of a Broken Relationship?
There are many signs you must watch out for when you are in a relationship. These signs may indicate that your relationship may end up breaking.
- Self-Centeredness: A relationship is expected to be between two individuals that share common goals and visions. A warning sign of a broken relationship may be when you are exploitative. This happens when you begin to seek your personal need with no regard for your partner's aspirations.
- Grudges: There are different things that may lead to a broken relationship. Some of these may include lack of communication, frequent argument, cheating, and lack of intimacy. On several occasions, most of these are stimulated by grudges which may lead to the end of the relationship.
- When your Expectations do not Align: The moment the connection between you both is affected and each of you begins to run towards different goals and expectations in the relationship, then it may end up broken.
Can a Relationship Go Back to Normal After Cheating?
Yes, your relationship can go back to normal after cheating. However, you must know that most times, you may need time to heal and put the pain behind you. To get things right, you must be ready to get to the source of the problem and know what to do to help.
How Do you Rebuild Trust with Someone Who Hurt you?
To rebuild your trust with someone who hurt you, you must be ready to do the following:
- Genuine Forgiveness: To rebuild trust, forgiveness may come in two different ways. These may include forgiving yourself and the other person that hurt you. Why do you need to forgive yourself? Sometimes, when something goes wrong, you may think that you are at fault. In this situation, you may want to forgive yourself of your flaws
Importantly, you must be ready to genuinely forgive the other person that hurt you. Learning to understand what happened and forgiving the other person will bring inner peace and help to regain trust.
- Deal With Your Fear: Your fear can inhibit you from trusting yourself and this may consequently affect rebuilding trust in someone else especially someone who hurt you. You may be scared of experiencing again what you have been through. This is what you must try to avoid and know that such things won't repeat itself.
- Deal With Your Anger: To regain the trust you must be free from anger. Anger can affect your relationship with the other person and influence withholding of trust.
How Do You Trust After Betrayal?
Most times, when people betray us, they tend to lose our trust. However, sometimes, they may return and plead for forgiveness. In this situation, to trust them back may be difficult but not impossible. To trust them back, you may want to take the following steps:
- Trust Yourself: Learning to trust yourself is a very important step to take. This will help you to make good judgment and choices. You must know that If you don't trust yourself, you won't be able to trust others especially when the situation involves betrayal
- Learn to Control your Anger: Your anger may debar you from forgiving them. The ability to control your anger may assist your efforts to trust others
- Seeing yourself as the Victim: Sometimes what inhibits your ability to trust after betrayal may be the way you see yourself. Having a victim mentality may affect your trust and continuously make you bitter and angry.
What happens if you hurt someone you love?
When love hurts because you hurt your partner, there are a few things to keep in mind. Understand how their hurting may affect things between you. Acknowledge you hurt their feelings and own up to it. Be patient by giving them time to think about what happens and for accepting your apology. Be sensitive to their feelings and listen to them when they talk about how they are feeling. Be in the moment, but realize things may be different moving forward.
How do you deal with hurting someone you love?
There are different ways love hurts, especially when you think you’re experiencing true love with someone. Forgive yourself. Talk about your feelings with someone you trust. Accept yourself for the way you are, including your flaws. Acknowledge you’re not perfect, and you may make mistakes while viewing yourself as a good person. When you talk about your intentions, let them know you’re someone I care about, and we’ll work through this together.
What does it mean to love someone so much it hurts?
When a person has a tremendous amount of love for their partner, they can feel hurt if they experience a change in their behavior. A person may feel hurt over something petty, but the partner can make things better by acknowledging their hurt and doing what is necessary to make them happy. Some of the best stories on medium give different perspectives about why love hurts with the most claps written.
Why does it hurt so bad when you love someone?
Love hurts because it has strong connections to physical and social pain. Aspects of it may go away over time, but feelings related to a loss may stick around. Sometimes love hurts when something is missing, or you’re not as happy as you want to be.Sometimes it hurts when someone doesn’t love you back.
Why do guys hurt the one they love?
Sometimes love isn’t easy for a guy to express, and they may hurt you unintentionally. Many guys find it challenging to open up to someone to avoid showing vulnerability, making commitment something they fear. Some guys find it challenging to deal with their emotions and feelings, or have yet to learn how to cope with them.Some guys find it annoying or think blah blah when a woman is sharing deep feelings for him.
How do you tell someone they are hurting you emotionally?
Be precise with your words and choose them carefully. Express what you feel and be specific. Say more than just “your actions and thoughts break my heart.” Start by saying “I” and how you feel. It helps your emotions take center stage while helping you be direct. When expressing something negative, start by being positive to get your point across. Stay focused on your intentions and why you are communicating with them. Prepare for any outcome to the situation.
How do you apologize for hurting someone you love?
When you love a person very much, you take time to address hurting them. Instead of rambling on or just saying blah blah things you think they want to hear, be sincere, and choose your words wisely. Say you’re sorry by regretting what you did. Be responsible for admitting you were wrong. Make an effort to make things right. Let them know you’ll do better next time or that you’ll avoid a repeat. Ask for their forgiveness.
How do u heal a broken heart?
Moving on with a broken heart is hard.It’s more challenging to move on in a relationship if you don’t trust them after they hurt you. Let yourself go through the emotions you feel and acknowledge them. Look for ways to accept being single again. Think about your strengths and use them to help you stay productive. Allow yourself time to heal. Laugh and cry to relieve emotional stress. Engage in good habits and activities you enjoy. Remain hopeful about your future that you will be happy with or without a partner.Don’t change who you are just to be loved.
Lots of people go online, sharing stories about having their heart broken. Social media often has some of the best stories people share about the ups and downs of love. Some of the best stories through ads in sight of the webpage linking to personal stories. You can find articles and stories about topics such as how did I let him break my heart again, why did he break my heart when I was good to him, and why did he break my heart by cheating on me, and so on.
Is love supposed to hurt?
When you have a healthy love life, love should not hurt, but unfortunately, it can. True love doesn’t hurt because it makes you feel good inside and out. When someone truly loves you, it makes you feel joyful. True love between two people should be unique. When love hurts because your heart is broken, it may affect how you feel physically and emotionally when you don’t take proper steps to help yourself heal. After being hurt, they leave the field of dating for a while,turning the focus onto themselves through self-improvement.
Can someone leave you if they love you?
A sure way to suffer from a broken heart is when someone leaves you. If a person loves you, they will not leave you. If they leave you, their feelings were not as strong for you to keep them in place. A person with true love for you will do what is necessary to maintain the love between you to keep the relationship going.Love doesn’t make you leave someone if you want to be with them. Love doesn’t push you away from someone,and love isn’t something to take for granted.
What is the true sign of love?
It’s one thing for partners to share, tweet their love for each other via social media, but many often wonder what signs you should look for when it comes to true love? Real signs of love are shared between both partners. True love includes admiration and respect for each other. You avoid doing things that may hurt or humiliate your partner. You understand ways to express your love, such as making sacrifices, keep promises, and sharing burdens. With true love, each partner makes an effort to keep the relationship strong.
What are the stages of falling in love?
People describe different things happening when they think they found real love. Many believe true love takes time to develop. When you fall in love, it may include the following stages:
- The “honeymoon” or “butterflies” phase when you learn more about each other, and you develop feelings for each other.
- Settling down or getting serious phase where you start feeling more comfortable with each other thought deep bonding.
- Disillusionment based on how you feel things have been so far. You may wonder if things will work out or if this is someone you should be with. You may feel this way if you feel underappreciated or overlooked. You may think about working past these feelings to keep things going to see what happens or choose to end relations.
- Feelings of deep love and connection. Upon waiting to see how things work out, you may see other things about them that help you feel closer to them. You may feel more compatibility and evaluate how far things may go. You may start to focus more on your feelings while wanting to grow more as a couple.
- Coming together more as a couple though thoughts and actions. You learn things about each other such as weaknesses and strengths, while learning how to use them to grow together.
These are just a few stages people experience when they find real love. Many agree that true love takes time to growday by day.
What is hurt in love?
Love is a strong emotion that hurts when so much is attached to it socially and physically. Sometimes other things are going on that make love appear to hurt, such as not dealing with emotions from a previous relationship. Lots of people go from one relationship to another without dealing with hurt from their past relationships. Love helps you grow, and sometimes what results from it hurts your feelings. Understanding how you’re hurting helps transform you.
Does missing someone mean you love them?
Not always. You may have feelings for them, or your opinions may have changed about them, but it may not mean you love them. You may miss their presence or things you did together that made you feel good, but you may have feelings for them because your expectations were not met. You may miss them for what they were to you at the time in your life. It shows you’re holding on to feelings you wish were different. You may have love for them, but it may not be the same depending on why things ended.
Some coping with emotional turmoil from the past may recall better times in the relationship. You may miss someone when finding something that belonged to them, such as their photo or email address. You may have loved this person for a long time or even had a relationship for 4 years or more (or less). When you’ve spent a lot of time with someone, love doesn’t fade away entirely in some cases. Many see missing a person and loving a person as two different things.
Is anger a sign of love?
Some agree it is because anger shows you care about something. It is an emotion but also a reaction to something. When venting your feelings, it shows you have deep compassion. Sometimes a person is hurting, and it comes out through emotional turmoil. People may use anger to substitute how they really feel, especially if they have trouble expressing their real emotions. Dealing with emotional turmoil in a relationship is not healthy, access to the best emotional support available can help manage your feelings. You can work through your emotions through couple’s therapy or relationship counseling.
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