The Top Reasons Why People Bully
When you hear the word "bully," there is probably someone who comes to mind. Bullies intimidate others verbally, mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically. Dealing with someone who bullies is something most people have been pressured to do at least once in their life. When you understand why the person acts this way, it can help you know how to stop them.
Bullying isn't just something that happens at school. There are bullies at every stage of life. Bullying is something that you can experience within your family. Even bullying at work can happen. While it is common for some children who are bullies to eventually learn their lessons and grow out of this behavior, others become adults and continue to act in the same inappropriate way. So why do people bully? There's no easy, cut-and-dry answer for this question, but we'll discuss the following reasons in this article. Some people may seek out the help of an online therapist to understand bullying in greater detail.
- Feeling insecure
- Feeling powerless
- Needing to control
- Being rewarded for this behavior
You Can Overcome The Effects Of Bullying
Bullying is life-changing for those who are targeted. When you're bullied, it affects your self-esteem, and it also can lead to social anxiety due to how poorly you were treated by a bully. Depression and teen suicide are higher among those who experience bullying. Finding the right counselor or therapist is the best way to learn how to navigate the effects of this poor treatment by peers and the distress that may follow.
But those who bully need therapy as much as those who have been bullied. A good therapist can address the reasons behind this behavior, helping them to change their destructive habits and give tips on how to take responsibility for their actions.. There are many reasons for bullying, and many have roots in mental health, trauma, or families. Early intervention and therapy make a big difference in bullying behavior, especially for teens. Along the way, a bully can learn to better relate socially to others.
Reasons People Bully
Insecurity And Feeling Powerless
For many, it seems impossible or at least highly unlikely that the person who does the bullying feels insecure or powerless. How can someone who feels that way bully others? The truth is that insecurity doesn't always make an individual shy and reserved. It simply means they're not happy with themselves. When an individual feels this way, they may engage in bullying to bring others down to their perceived level. Many victims of bullying may be wondering how to get revenge in order to restore their own self-esteem, but it is more beneficial to learn ways to navigate groups and re-discover community.
Similarly, when an individual feels powerless in their own life, it may trigger bullying. The person feels powerful when intimidating others. This is why many children from dysfunctional homes engage in bullying. Someone who struggles with feeling insecure is afraid of appearing weak in front of others. To hide their own weakness, they do their best to find and expose weakness in someone else. This is all to take the attention off of themselves and make themselves feel better by acting more powerful than others. Again, this explanation (and the others below) are not meant to excuse bullying – which is inexcusable – but is meant to explain it. When we understand something, we are more equipped to change it.
The Need To Control
The need to control is one of the top reasons why people bully, and there can be many reasons why a person needs to feel more in control. Some people engage in bullying to gain control of their surroundings. For example, they may have no control over the way they are treated at home. Alternatively, they may have issues with anxiety. The common theme is that there are concerns we often cannot see- there also might be culture differences at play, race disparities, or even an unseen disability that is causing them to project onto others.
Bullying Is Rewarded
Bullying behavior is often rewarding because the person who does it gets what they want. Every time a person who bullies wins and succeeds in getting what they want, it reinforces their behavior. When they control and intimidate others, they usually achieve what they set out to do: intimidate and control. Bullies can also have their behavior rewarded if others encourage them and join in. This gives them the attention they desire. These facts are important to notice, as it shows what is included in the incentive to bully.
How To Stop Bullying
The top reasons why people bully may not seem like good enough reasons for intimidating and controlling others, but they are the main triggers for this type of behavior. The only way to stop others from bullying you is to learn how to deal with it effectively. Here are some ways you can put an end to bullying.
- Take A Stand - This advice works regardless of your age. People who bully tend to prey on people who are perceived as weaker than they are. When you show them that you are confident and that their tactics aren't working, you steal their power and cause them to lose control. Because the person who bullies is already self-conscious, they're likely to become angry as you become more empowered. Eventually, they will be forced to give up once you show them that you are not going to allow their behavior to impact you.
- Have A Support Group - This is another tip that helps at any age. Bullies often act alone, and they don't want to take on an entire group. If you have a good group of friends who you can lean on for support, it might cause the person who’s bullying you to think twice. This is effective on the playground with young children, and it works with adults in an office setting as well.
- Stay Neutral - This can be hard to do when you're trying not to show emotion while you're being bullied, but if you get angry or confrontational, you will only encourage their behavior. They want to see a strong reaction. If you remain neutral and do your best to ignore the behavior, they're more likely to give up.
- Deal With It Quickly - The longer they get away with bullying you, the harder it can be to get them to stop. If you take immediate action when you first experience bullying, it will send the bully a message that you're not going to stand for their behavior. They're likely to look for another target.
- Don't Keep Secrets - How you address this one depends on your age. If you are being bullied in school, you need to find a trusted adult to talk to. This could be a teacher, a parent, or a mentor. If you are in the workplace, then you should address the issue with your Human Resources department. Secrets have power. If you don't tell anyone you're being bullied, the effects of bullying are likely to multiply in your head and can impact you even more.
When A Professional Can Help
As mentioned above, bullying can have devastating effects on your self-esteem, confidence, and anxiety levels. If you're dealing with someone who bullies and feels like you're struggling, don't hesitate to reach out for help. There are lots of girls who might have experienced harassment surrounding a young pregnancy inside a religious organization, or bullying from people in positions of power. Bullying should not be taken lightly. It can have serious consequences. An in-person or online counselor can help you to navigate this struggle. They can guide you as you learn to address bullying and help you to recover healthily.
How BetterHelp Can Support You
If you've been bullied yourself, a therapist can help you learn why and how to use healthy coping tools instead. Read the reviews below to see how BetterHelp counselors have helped others experiencing similar issues.
"Dr. Anstadt is one of the best counselors I've ever worked with. I was working with him for almost a year and the amount of progress I made was wonderful. I made significant steps toward learning about myself and gaining confidence about myself, learning how to stand up for myself when it was right, and knowing my own limits while still striving to be better."
"Sharon Valentino has helped me through so much! Since we started working together, just a few months ago, I already feel like I have more power and control over my life. I have let go of some very painful things, I have moved away from abusive relationships, and really gaining the skills and tools I need to keep myself safe and happy. She has taught me that I have the power to control my thoughts, my anxiety, and most of all my company. I really like how direct she is, it helps me get grounded and connect to myself. I can't wait to see where I am after working with her for a year!!!"
Whether you're beginning to recognize bullying behaviors in yourself or you've been the victim of bullying, a therapist can help. You can learn to change your behavior and recover from the troubling effects of bullying by taking the first step today. Learn more about the topics of this page below, through our menu and title.
Commonly Asked Questions
Why do people pick on me?
If people are exhibiting bullying behavior towards you, there are many reasons why they might be doing it. In many cases, the bullying behavior actually stems from problems or issues within the bully themselves. For example, research shows that low self esteem or low sense of self worth, complications with sexual orientation and/or gender identity, relative economic and/or social status, and even being bullied themselves often lead people to bully others.
Another reason that people tend to bully is because they see and dislike differences in your lifestyle, personality, and/or beliefs. These are often things that you can’t change about yourself, but still result in your being bullied. In this case, people bully others because they cannot reconcile such differences in their own perspective or psyche. They can’t handle the fact that others are different – or hold different opinions and/or beliefs – than them. They have an unjustified sense of superiority, and this helps them to justify such conduct as name calling, cyberbullying, or even physical harm. This mentality impacts kids and adults alike, and can lead both kids and adults to bully others.
How do you start a bullying essay?
To write an essay on bullying for school, you should first define what bullying is. You should provide a content accurate definition of bullying, and you might even give a few examples of different types of bullying. For example, you can start by identifying bullying that kids face at school, then identifying bullying that adults face at site work or other daily settings, and even explaining cyberbullying.
Then, you can lay out the cause of bullying. Make sure that you incorporate only high quality sources, and offer latest evidence based reviews to support your claims about the different causes of bullying.
Next, explain the different solutions to the problem of bullying. Make sure that you explain your solutions in terms of the specific contexts where you witness bullying. For example, solutions for kids at school could be totally different than solutions for the family at home. And solutions for cyberbullying will be in a completely different context altogether. Talking about the many solutions for bullying – as well as the contexts in which they can be applied – is a great way to give your essay a well-rounded approach before heading into the conclusion.
Finally, you should include a conclusion paragraph. This paragraph summarizes the points that you made throughout the essay, and it highlights the most import things that the research shows on bullying. You can also end with a call to action that encourages your readers to do something about the problem of bullying in their daily lives.
What are the research on bullying?
Many peer reviewed studies and high quality sources have looked into the causes and effects of bullying. Research shows that the causes of bullying are usually due to problems with the psychology of the bully themselves.
For instance, one of the common reasons that people bully others is because they have a low sense of self-esteem, and putting others down makes them feel better. They feel that their identity or self-worth is in danger, so they respond by lashing out with harmful words and abuse towards the people around them. Or, they might lack empathy; they might not have the willingness or ability to consider the thoughts and feelings of those around them. They don’t consider how their own actions can harm the people around them.
In the case of young people specifically, research shows that exposure to violent or bullying behavior in the home or at school can also prompt them to bully others. In short, when people witness bullying – especially if they see it frequently in their developmental years – they are more likely to be bullies. According to school staff, seeing how kids interact with and are treated by their parents can be a huge indicator and predictor of bullying behavior.
Medical reviewers confirm that for many kids, their family life and past can lead them to become bullies. As kids develop, their mental health – including their sense of self-esteem, self-worth, and ability and willingness to empathize with others – is shaped dramatically by the experiences they have with their parents and/or caregivers when the kids are very young.
What are the causes and consequences of cyberbullying?
Nowadays, everyone uses the internet. We use it to browse a website, to retrieve information, to update cookies settings, and even for daily shopping. This can be a great tool for everyone, but it has also led to the rise of cyberbullying.
Cyberbullying occurs when someone uses the internet to harass or bully someone else. It can be as simple as talking trash about someone in the comments section of a website, or as serious as threatening someone’s life or health by exposing personal information online. They can do it anonymously, or they can do it with their name and profile in full display. Cyberbullying is particularly easy for someone who does it anonymously, since pinning the insults on them is inaccurate hard and they usually don’t have to face the consequences of their bullying behavior.
How do you deal with people who picks you?
Your default settings when it comes to dealing with someone who picks on you is to be calm. According to teachers and school staff who see bullying among kids all the time, the main reason that kids pick on each other is to get a reaction. This same pattern in seen in adults, as well.
Research shows that responding to bullying with a calm and measured reaction will also diffuse the situation. If you explode with anger or an extreme response, then you’re giving the bully exactly what they were looking for in the first place. But, if you do a cookies settings reject and ignore that initial response to pick on them back, you can overcome the bully. They’ll get bored picking on you, and they’ll eventually stop.
Imagine the comment section on a popular website, or even a discussion on a social media website. When all of the comments are positive, there aren’t many comments. But when someone starts picking on others in the discussion, the comment section explodes. The website becomes a hostile place, and the more that people reply to the bully – even if they’re disagreeing or admonishing them – then the more the bullying continues.
What is the meaning of anti bullying law?
An anti-bullying law is a codified law that is meant to prevent bullying. Usually, these laws are enacted at the local or state level with prompting from local parents and school staff. In fact, parents are the most active group of people advocating for anti-bullying laws in the United States.
Anti-bullying laws are usually written with input from medical reviewers and their professional medical advice, so that the policies are beneficial to all. As the law is being drafted, board certified physicians and medical reviewers confirm the efficacy of the proposed policies, while also proposing substantial updates to make the laws and policies more effective.
Usually, anti-bullying laws are hard to enforce. Most of the policy change created by anti-bullying laws actually focuses on prevention and education, usually by cookie setting reject, building a website and other online sources for people dealing with bullying, and implementing anti-bullying training in schools.
What does picking on someone mean?
To “pick on someone” is an inseparable phrasal verb that means to be mean to someone. It can mean to tease someone, or to agitate or annoy them. Usually, the goal of picking on someone is to get a rise or reaction out of them. This behavior is most commonly seen among kids, when one child picks on another child.
People can also use a social media website or other web-based app to pick on others. This is known as “cyberbullying.”
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