Why Am I So Shy And Can I Do Anything About It?
Have you ever found yourself wondering, "Why am I so shy?" You might have been born a shy and introverted person or it could be part of a deeper issue, like autism or social anxiety.
If you tend to be a quiet person who likes having a small group of friends that you feel comfortable around, that's perfectly fine.
Sometimes it can be hard opening up to new people. If you find yourself being shy around everyone or feeling anxious in social situations it might point to something other than your average shyness.
Why Am I So Shy?
Figuring out why you are shy in the first place or why your shyness has increased can be difficult since everyone falls somewhere on the shy/outgoing spectrum.
If your shyness causes you distress, see a doctor to rule out any reasons for your shyness or anxiety around other people. You may find out that you fall somewhere on the autism spectrum or that you have social or generalized anxiety.
Knowing the underlying reason for your discomfort around people can help you address it. By addressing the underlying causes, your social life can become livelier and more fulfilling.
If it turns out that you are just a shy person, that's okay too.
Can I Do Anything About It?
Whether you found out if there is an underlying cause for your shyness or you are just shy, to begin with, there are ways to break out of your shell if you want to become a more social and outgoing person.
- Spend time with people with shared interests
Spending time with people who have similar interests will allow you to come out of your shell more than if you hang out with people who are completely different. You will have more to talk about and you will feel more at ease with people you connect strongly with.
Try looking for different clubs or groups in your area that focuses on things you are interested in, whether that's sports, art, comic books, music, etc.
- Come up with questions to ask when getting to know people
We've all been there - trying to make small talk with someone we just met. You ask how the person's day is going and comment on the weather, but what's next? You smile awkwardly, while in your head all you can think of is how you have nothing to say.
A quick fix for this situation is to come up with simple questions like, "What genre of music is your favorite?" or "Did you grow up here?" to get the conversation moving.
These questions might teach you that you have more in common with the person than you thought. If not, they are still a useful way to break an awkward silence.
- Stay present in social situations
Another way that you can work to become more outgoing and less shy is by being present in social situations. When you are shy you might tend to withdraw from conversations easily, content with daydreaming in the background.
No more! Stay present with the conversation. Pay attention to what is being said, who is saying it, and your general surroundings. Focus on physical sensations like sounds and smells. Ask questions and don't be afraid to share your thoughts and opinions.
Becoming less shy can be challenging. Chances are you will always be at least a bit shy. However, online counseling services like BetterHelp can help by giving you professional advice and a way to monitor your progress.