“I’ve Felt Better And I Know Exactly Why: Self-Care” | Becca’s Story

Here, we’re sharing BetterHelp user Becca's journey with online therapy—including how it helped her implement a self-care plan that improved her overall well-being. It's a story that many individuals might relate to: Becca had considered speaking with a counselor on several occasions and looked into it frequently, but concerns about time and affordability kept getting in the way. After Becca's doctor suggested online therapy, she connected with a counselor and was able to start making progress with her mental health. 

Below is Becca's success story, which has been lightly edited for clarity and grammar.

Becca’s experiences before therapy

"I always knew that I could benefit from speaking to a counselor, but I always had a reason not to, even though I would look into it frequently," Becca began. "Either money, insurance, or timing issues always stopped me. I was open to counseling, but was never truly motivated to take any action on finding a method that would work best for me.”

Her doctor’s suggestion for therapy

"When my doctor suggested I look into therapy, she mentioned she had a patient who communicated online with their counselor. I was intrigued by that since my schedule is so erratic, I didn't see how making scheduled appointments would work for either of us. The idea of being able to reach out to my counselor at any time held great appeal for  me.”

The choice of a messaging option

"I don't mind face-to-face interaction, but the messaging helps me get my thoughts out in a way that makes sense so that I'm being as honest and open as possible to get the best feedback. It allows me to take my time without wasting my counselor's time if I'm struggling to put feelings into words or get interrupted by work.”

How Becca found BetterHelp

Becca looked at multiple options for online counseling before deciding on BetterHelp. Below, she explains what led her to this choice.

Searching online counseling options

"So, I did a Google search and read the reviews on several online counseling options, but BetterHelp had the best reviews, and I immediately liked the feel of the website and such. It just felt right.”

Signing up for BetterHelp

"When I signed up for BetterHelp, I was mainly looking to handle my depression and anxiety, but also tackle issues related to stress, sleeping issues, family issues, relationship issues, and childhood trauma. I felt that I had so much to talk about that it was difficult for me to even find where to start. Even on medication, I was struggling to handle my depression and anxiety in a healthy way. I was doing well, but I knew I could be doing better."

If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.

Changes Becca experienced after starting counseling with BetterHelp

"I've been working with Jason, my BetterHelp counselor, since I signed up in late December 2017," Becca continued.

"After our initial conversation, he mentioned how he was into spiritual things such as Reiki, crystals, energy, etc. Since that's something that had started to heavily influence my life, I felt relaxed and comfortable speaking about those things to someone who could fully relate and understand what I meant.”

"I find that I've unknowingly come to rely on his responses, advice, and input to help me. Knowing I can say anything anytime to him without judgment is incredibly freeing. Having that unbiased ear to listen to me and provide advice and feedback is so refreshing for me.”

"I think I would have put myself at a 5/10 when I first signed up, but at the time, I probably thought I was more of a 7.5/10. However, now I feel confident saying that I feel like I'm truly at 7.5 or 8/10 most days,” reported Becca.

Becca’s self-care journey

With the help of her online therapist, Becca was able to develop a personalized self-care plan that worked for her, which helped promote a positive emotional shift. She explained: “I've managed to implement healthier habits into my daily life with Jason's help, suggestions, articles, etc. I feel less guilty for feeling, and I'm improving on how best to handle my sensitivity and emotions and how to communicate them.” 

"We started with just me dumping all of my thoughts out into a jumbled mess of paragraphs and feelings. Once we sifted through everything and started getting to the root of the issues, Jason was better able to provide more specific guidance. He gave me tips like exercise to manage my stress and sleeping habits. He provided affirmations that I looked at daily to help keep my mind positive and not from sinking, and he made suggestions on how to implement healthier self-care habits for myself.”

"I think one of his greatest attributes is his way of knowing when I need an ear and when I need actual advice. Sometimes we just talk out a situation because he seems to know that's what I need most at that moment.”

Beyond trends: what self-care really means

To expand on Becca’s experience, self-care means “activities that individuals undertake to improve or restore their own health.” While modern trends and social media posts may focus on pampering oneself as the main form of self-care, there are many different practices it can involve, which may be physical, mental, spiritual, or interpersonal. Some examples include:

• Exercising regularly
• Getting enough sleep each night
• Having difficult but necessary conversations with loved ones
• Setting clear boundaries with loved ones and other folks
• Writing in a journal regularly
• Limiting alcohol consumption and seeking help for any substance misuse (formerly “substance abuse”)
• Volunteering in your community
• Taking a course or doing a deep-dive on a blog post or video to learn something new

Mental and physical benefits of consistent self-care

As Becca learned, self-care practices may help produce mental and physical health benefits over time. Regular exercise and time for relaxation, for example, may reduce your risk of conditions like heart disease and illnesses that cause chronic pain. Getting enough sleep and nutrients from food may help reduce anxiety and muscle tension. Setting healthy boundaries and journaling regularly might help promote resilience, balance, and positive emotions like happiness.

Getting started: how daily habits can contribute to positive emotions

It may help to remember that self-care tends to be an ongoing, consistent practice rather than a one-off or a quick fix. If you’re new to self-care, starting with simple routines rather than trying to do all the things at once might help. Some practical self-care ideas to consider trying this week include:

• Create a realistic to-do list that helps you set goals but isn’t overwhelming
• Practice meditation for a few minutes when you wake up, to check in with your body
• Take a walk around the block after dinner 
• Go to bed within half an hour of your target bedtime tonight
• Spend time with a friend this week

Aiming to stay consistent and on track without pressuring yourself can be helpful. Over time, you may be able to build consistent routines that might help improve mood and overall well-being.

What Becca learned from practicing self-care

"For example, saying no to things I don't truly want to do is not a bad thing. In the past, I would find myself doing things I didn't want to because I knew that the other party wanted to do it. But now I can confidently turn down a night out for dinner and not feel bad because I need to be at home alone in my own space.”

"I still struggle with my sensitivity not only to my own emotions but to others as well. However, with Jason's help and guidance, I've been able to start implementing ways to shield myself from being drained by those around me," Becca explained.

"Jason understands that how I'm feeling isn't me being overemotional or 'out of control.' It's a result of my being so sensitive that I can feel others' moods and energies, and if I don't do something, those feelings and energies can drain me. It happens slowly sometimes, and I don't even realize it until Jason asks how I've been doing with it. He basically calls me out in the kindest way.”

"I'm not sure if he actually knows I've been lacking or if it's a feeling or what, but every time he's asked me, I've realized that while I'm not feeling horrible, I've felt better, and I know exactly why: self-care. Maybe I slacked, and now I'm grouchy or touchy. But simple reminders to continue doing things for myself have truly helped me get through most of my dark and twisty days."

Exploring online therapy yourself

If you are experiencing challenges similar to Becca’s, you may benefit from speaking to a therapist. If you feel hesitant to sign up for traditional in-person therapy, you may benefit from online therapy. Research suggests that online therapy can often be effective for a variety of mental health challenges, including anxiety and depression. 

An online therapist may offer a safe space for you to explore your emotions, build a personalized self-care plan, cultivate self-awareness and personal development, and get ongoing support. They might encourage more realistic, positive thinking, suggest ways you can improve your well-being, and help you find more meaning in daily life.

The benefits of online therapy

Online therapy services tend to offer easier scheduling, more affordable prices, and a broader range of professionals than you might be able to find locally. Becca was also excited about being able to send unlimited messages to her counselor, a feature provided by BetterHelp. You can contact your therapist via messaging at any time in between sessions, and they’ll respond as soon as they can.