Is Childhood Trauma Holding You Back?
Almost half of all children in the United States experience at least one potentially traumatic adverse childhood experience (ACE). Having such an experience in your formative years may affect how you function as an adult—even if you don’t realize it.
Below, we’ll look more closely at the subject of childhood trauma, its impact on adulthood, and how you can help manage its impact. We’ll also discuss types of therapy and mental health services that may help individuals who would like support in healing from childhood trauma.
What is childhood trauma?
The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) defines a traumatic event as “a shocking, scary, or dangerous experience that can affect someone emotionally and physically” and notes that responses to it can be ”immediate or delayed, brief or prolonged.” Childhood trauma, then, is when someone has an experience like this at a young age. Furthermore, when a child is exposed to an unsafe environment, they may be vulnerable to different traumas that might lead to childhood post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Some examples of traumatic events that a child may go through include:
Natural disasters, such as floods, hurricanes, or earthquakes
Major illness, whether it affects the child or someone close to them
Sexual abuse
Death of a loved one
Domestic violence in the home*
Bullying
Neglectful, detached, or abusive parents
Caretakers who experienced substance use (formerly substance “abuse”)
War or civil unrest
Community violence
Not all children who experience a traumatic event will develop traumatic stress. However, all children who experience traumatic stress and the feelings that come with it have first experienced a traumatic event. Some factors that can impact the likelihood that a person will develop traumatic stress include the event's severity, the child’s proximity to the event, and other past instances of trauma.
Also, children may respond differently to trauma based on their age and individual circumstances. Therefore, emotional and behavioral patterns may change as they age, even though they may all be responses to the same traumatic event. For example, a person who experiences a traumatic event as a 5-year-old may cry often and experience frequent nightmares. At 10, they may experience feelings of guilt and be unable to concentrate in school. At 16, they may begin turning to alcohol to cope. By the time a person enters adulthood, the impact of their childhood trauma may present in various ways.
The impact of childhood trauma on adulthood
Experiencing trauma in childhood may lead to numerous challenges in adulthood. Some of these include the development of unhealthy relationships, avoidance of challenges, heightened anxiety, low self-worth, nightmares, feelings of shame, and challenges recognizing or handling emotions. However, that doesn’t mean childhood trauma will necessarily cause adults to develop specific mental illnesses.
If you would like to understand how adverse childhood experiences may impact your adult life, you might consider talking to a licensed online therapist with experience in trauma and its consequences.
How childhood trauma can affect attachment styles
According to attachment theory, an individual’s childhood experiences—including the presence or absence of trauma—can impact their attachment style as an adult. The four attachment styles are secure, anxious, disorganized, and avoidant. The last three are usually considered insecure attachment styles, which may make forming lasting, connected relationships more difficult.
One study found that physical, emotional, and sexual abuse in childhood was positively correlated with anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles. Physical and emotional neglect were also linked to insecure attachment styles in general.
Managing the effects of childhood trauma as an adult
It’s never too late to start healing from or learning to manage the effects of past trauma, and working with a mental health professional can be a valuable part of this process.
Depending on your situation, they may suggest various approaches to address your challenges. Some common treatment options include:
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a form of talk therapy that seeks to help individuals recognize and change thought patterns leading to distress.
Cognitive processing therapy (CPT), a type of CBT developed specifically for those experiencing PTSD. Research suggests that CPT may be effective in helping adults who are survivors of childhood sexual abuse, in particular.
Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), used to help individuals manage the distress they feel due to past trauma. It involves focusing on eye movement while individuals talk about traumatic experiences to change how they view their trauma.
Narrative exposure therapy (NET), which involves an individual telling their life story with the help of a therapist. This approach can help them develop a complete narrative of their trauma, which may give them a feeling of greater control.
Seeking help in overcoming childhood trauma
Each person’s situation is different, and a therapist can find a method of support or treatment that works best for you. Seeking in-person therapy with a qualified professional is one option. You can find available providers through an online search. However, if you don’t like the idea of going to a therapist’s office to discuss traumatic events, you might try online therapy, which research has demonstrated to be just as effective as in-office therapy.
With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can connect with a mental health professional who can help you process trauma from your past. You’ll be matched with a licensed, qualified therapist based on your answers to a questionnaire, and you’ll be able to connect with them via phone or video chat. You can also contact your therapist in between sessions via in-app messaging if you have any questions or concerns.
Below are some reviews of BetterHelp counselors from individuals in similar situations.
Counselor reviews
“Leann is amazing. She takes her time in first laying down some ground rules and expectations. She is very easy to speak with and I feel she is listening to everything I say. Our messages can get very lengthy, but she doesn’t miss a detail. She makes me feel like she’s an old friend. She makes me feel like she cares. I appreciate that.”
“I’ve been holding in a lot of trauma that trails back to my childhood. I was matched to Miranda and she has just been wonderful. She seems to genuinely care about me and would chat with me in between scheduled sessions just to make sure I’m ok. I haven’t had someone that I can be completely open with and it is so refreshing to not have to hide my past or present traumas. I think only Miranda knows the real me. It’s also nice to know that someone randomly thinks of you and messages you to let you know that they’re thinking of you.”
Takeaway
How can you heal from childhood trauma?
One of the best ways of addressing childhood trauma is by working with a qualified mental health professional. Therapists and counselors trained in trauma therapy techniques can offer guidance and treatment as you heal from childhood trauma. Although trauma can seem daunting and challenging to face, especially trauma that occurred in childhood, working with a professional can lessen the difficulty of the experience and increase the likelihood of successfully treating childhood trauma.
What are coping skills for childhood trauma?
Coping skills for unresolved childhood trauma are likely similar to skills used to address lingering trauma from any source. The exact coping mechanisms a person uses will vary depending on the severity of their symptoms, but a few common strategies are listed below:
- Prioritize Self-Care. Self-care refers to the activities a person does to support their physical and mental well-being. The most basic elements of self-care include getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and getting regular physical activity. Missing any of those three things can make trauma symptoms worse or make healing childhood trauma more difficult.
- Lean on Your Support Network. As you begin to heal childhood trauma, you may experience unpleasant memories or emotional reactions to things that occurred when you were young. Take time to get support from trusted friends and family members.
- Accept That Healing is a Process. Working to overcome childhood trauma takes time; it is a journey of discovery and acceptance. Growth is always possible, but it’s important to give yourself adequate time and be patient with your progress.
- Seek Professional Help. Trauma can be challenging to overcome, even with adequate self-care and support. A therapist can treat childhood trauma using evidence-based techniques known to be effective.
How do you know if you have childhood trauma?
Childhood trauma that has not been addressed can lay dormant for years, and it may not always be easy to determine if distress is related to your traumatic experiences. A good place to start is to look at common adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) and see if any apply to you. There are many different types of childhood trauma; violent homes, physical or sexual abuse, losing a parent, divorce, and bullying are all valid traumatic life events.
If you believe you experienced a traumatic event as a child, it may be worth speaking about it with a mental health professional. Symptoms of trauma can sometimes be well-hidden, and many people minimize or deny their traumatic experiences. Working with a professional can help uncover ways in which your trauma impacts you, even if some of those things seem normal.
Does crying release trauma?
Evidence suggests that crying serves an important social function, but there is little evidence indicating that crying produces a cathartic release of emotions, including those related to trauma. Many people have experienced the benefits of a “good cry,” and anecdotal stories supporting the benefits of crying are widespread. However, in scientific investigations, crying did not always produce a feeling of relief from burdensome emotions. At present, the most significant research indicates that crying's primary function is to signal vulnerability to others, an important part of human connection.
What are the three types of trauma?
Trauma-focused therapists often refer to three broad categories of trauma, although it is important to note that those categories can be further divided into many different types of traumatic experiences. Trauma can vary substantially from person to person; what causes significant trauma symptoms in one person may have very little impact on another.
The three broad categories of trauma are listed below:
- Acute trauma occurs in response to a singular event, like an accident, natural disaster, or physical assault.
- Chronic trauma occurs following multiple, long-term and prolonged traumatic events, such as bullying, addiction, or long-term illness.
- Complex trauma refers to multiple different traumatic events that may be short or long-term. Examples include childhood abuse, domestic violence, or civil unrest.
How does a traumatized child behave?
Children with significant trauma histories may react intensely to relatively benign stimuli. They often struggle with self-control and may behave unpredictably or volatilely. Those who experienced early childhood trauma may struggle with other areas of development besides their behavior, such as being more likely to develop learning disabilities or to be delayed in basic skill development. Children of all ages might disassociate, appearing distant, detached, and out of touch with reality. As children grow into adolescents, they become more likely than non-traumatized peers to engage in high-risk behaviors like reckless driving, substance use, stealing, or running away from home.
What is toxic trauma?
Toxic trauma is often used to refer to trauma that results from exposure to toxic stress. Children encounter toxic stress when they experience extended activation of their stress response systems in the absence of defensive relationships. Toxic trauma can include physical and emotional abuse, chronic neglect, exposure to violence, and exposure to extreme poverty. While stressful situations will have an impact on most children, toxic stress requires the absence of supportive caregivers and protective relationships.
Toxic trauma likely increases the risk of children developing mental health conditions, including post-traumatic stress disorder. It can also significantly impair development and lead to unhealthy coping in adolescence and adulthood. While toxic trauma and stress can be a potentially harmful burden, effective trauma treatment can help children get back on track. Even if the child didn’t receive help when they were young, it is likely that treatment as an adult will still be effective. Researchers have investigated how to heal from child trauma for decades, and there are viable, evidence-based options that help people heal.
What are the six stages of trauma?
The six stages of trauma likely refer to the stages of Expressive Trauma Integration, a framework for trauma developed by Dr. Odelya Kraybill. The framework outlines how trauma is integrated into a person’s thought process following recovery from a traumatic event. The six stages are summarized below:
- Routine. The pre-trauma stage. All physical and psychological systems are functioning normally.
- Event. The occurrence of a traumatic event. The person experiencing the trauma enters “survivor mode” as the fight-or-flight system is activated.
- Withdrawal. The trauma survivor withdraws from the reality of the traumatic experience as they process it. Withdrawal might last anywhere from days to a person’s entire life.
- Awareness. The context surrounding the trauma and knowledge of self help the survivor move from withdrawal to an understanding of how the traumatic event impacted them and others.
- Action. The survivor makes a conscious choice to take action to address their trauma.
- Integration. The survivor can reflect on their traumatic experience and incorporate it into their life story in a way that utilizes the tools they need to relieve trauma symptoms.
What is the most damaging trauma?
All trauma can be damaging, and a person’s “trauma threshold” can vary considerably from those around them. Traumatic events that deeply affect one person may have little impact on another. It is important that individual differences play a large role in the way each person experiences trauma. Some people may have many defensive factors that keep them relatively safe, while others may lack basic coping strategies to address what has happened to them. There is no “competition” in trauma; the most damaging type of trauma will differ greatly from person to person.
What are the signs of severe trauma?
Everyone reacts to traumatic events differently; horrific events barely phase some people, and others go on to develop serious mental health disorders. Because of the differences in how people react, it is not always possible to tell how much trauma someone carries with them. However, researchers have noted some common themes that often appear in those who have severe trauma:
- Flashbacks or Intrusive Thoughts. People who have experienced a traumatic event sometimes relieve all or part of the experience. They commonly enter a dissociative state and may not respond when spoken to or begin speaking to people who aren’t there.
- Avoidance. Traumatized people tend to avoid reminders of their traumatic experiences. They may avoid places, people, or things that cause them to remember traumatic events.
- Easily Startled. Many people who experience trauma have an elevated sense of fight-or-flight. They may be easily frightened or have an exaggerated response when startled.
- Negative Outlook. Trauma survivors often have a hard time thinking positively and may have an unusually negative outlook regarding the future.
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