Why Should I Worry: Healthy Reasons To Worry

We often hear how worrying can affect our overall mental and physical health, but there are times when worry is justified. However, if you are a chronic worrier, you may have trouble distinguishing between legitimate worry and unhealthy worry. 

One of the first steps to understanding what healthy worry is and what it isn’t is understanding the nature and function of worry itself. One of the functions of worry is to cognitively avoid a threat. Sometimes, when you worry, you recognize that some threats must be avoided, and that is not necessarily a bad thing.

Still, over time, excessive worrying can cause detrimental health effects. Research has shown that people who worry too much have high anxiety, hostility, and depression. These mental health concerns can lead to more significant physical health problems, such as weight gain, high blood pressure, and chronic headaches or ulcers.

To better understand when you should worry and when it can be unhealthy, we’ll explore some common reasons people worry. For each one, we’ll explore what constitutes healthy worry and when it can become unhealthy.

Worrying about a specific situation

Many people feel that if they don't worry, they don't care. It is common to care about a life situation or event, whether it involves you or a loved one. You might be worried about needing to catch up on your bills or whether you will get a good review at work. You might also worry about a situation on a broader scale, such as climate change or other humanitarian matters.

Situations arise every day that you may care deeply about. It can be beneficial to understand when that worry is healthy and when it is no longer serving its purpose. 

Healthy

If you are worried about inclement weather, such as a flood or a tornado, you might use that worry to prepare yourself for an inevitable storm. Worry that leads to action and preparedness can be healthy and lead to more positive outcomes.

Unhealthy

Worrying about situations can become unhealthy when you find yourself obsessing about them. If, for example, you have done all you can to prepare for storms, you will probably experience less stress if you strive to put that worry out of your mind. You are ready, and there is nothing more to be done. At that point, the worry can become detrimental to your health.

Worrying about meeting a deadline

Many people feel that worrying about meeting deadlines helps them to be more productive. If they are constantly worried about their performance at work, they may be more likely to be diligent. They may be afraid that they will no longer be as proactive if they stop worrying.

Healthy

When you are so concerned about meeting a deadline that it keeps you motivated to keep going, that can be a good thing. If the deadline is at the forefront of your mind, you may be more likely to continue moving toward completion. This can be true whether it is a work deadline or a personal deadline.

Unhealthy

It can be unhealthy to worry about deadlines when there is nothing more you can do. For example, if you have a looming deadline at work but have left work for the day and can’t make any more progress, worrying doesn’t likely serve a purpose. At this point, the worry no longer motivates you because nothing can be done.

When you continue to worry about deadlines when there is nothing for you to do at that moment, it takes away from what you could be doing with that time. You might not enjoy your time away from work if you constantly worry about those deadlines. This can lead to undue stress and even physical symptoms of anxiety.

Worrying about your health

As is the case with looming deadlines, worrying about your health can motivate you to take action. If you are logically and legitimately worried about things like having high cholesterol, it can lead you to take action, like seeking out a doctor.

Healthy

When you have a legitimate health concern, it can be helpful to have a moderate amount of worry to keep you aware of the health condition and push you to take action to correct it. You can seek out a doctor who can help you resolve the problem. If you never worried about your health, even when problems arose, you could become extremely unhealthy, which could lead to significant, preventable problems.

Unhealthy

When you spend so much time worrying about your health that you constantly look up symptoms online, it can lead to unhealthy obsession. Health anxiety is a real condition that can make you constantly fear for your health.

When worrying about your health overtakes aspects of everyday life, causes you to miss work, and costs you hundreds or thousands of dollars in medical expenses, you likely have a problem to address. Health anxiety can be dangerous and can lead to real health problems even if no real health conditions existed in the first place. When this happens, it can help to talk to a licensed therapist to address this anxiety.

Worrying about future plans

Worrying about plans can be beneficial in some cases. Many people feel that their worry about plans for future careers or significant life events helps keep them on track and prepared for every eventuality.

Healthy

A certain amount of worry about plans, especially if they are important, like plans for a wedding or the birth of your first child, can be somewhat healthy in moderation. When people don't worry about plans at all, details can fall through the cracks. Worrying about potential problems may help to ensure that no detail is left untouched or unplanned. Some degree of worry can be helpful, especially for complex events or lengthy vacations.

Unhealthy

When this worry becomes unhealthy, it can reach the point that you are no longer looking forward to the plans. When you are so worried about the things that could go wrong that you no longer enjoy the planning and may not enjoy the event itself, that can cause significant stress.

It can also be unhealthy to worry about plans when all the preparation is complete. When there is nothing left to do and you have planned for every eventuality, you can put that worry out of your mind. When you continue to worry after the planning is done, you are missing out on the present.

Worrying about kids

Worrying about your kids is natural. Because you love them and only want what is best for them, you may frequently be worried about many aspects of your children's lives. You might worry about your toddler getting injured, your school-aged child getting good grades, or your teenager dating.

Healthy

It can be somewhat healthy to have reasonable worry about your children. When you are worried about your kids, you are aware of the dangers facing them, and you can prepare them for those dangers.

Unhealthy

It can be unhealthy to continue worrying about your kids after you have prepared them for what they will face. It can also be unhealthy to constantly worry about your kids to the point that you don't allow them to do certain things that are healthy for them. Children sometimes have to make mistakes and learn some things independently, even though you work to prepare them.

Worrying about your partner

It is natural to worry about your partner. You might worry about their well-being or their health. Some people also worry that their partner will be unfaithful or leave them. These are some common concerns that people face in relationships. 

Healthy

It can be healthy to worry about your partner to some degree. Worrying that your partner is in good health can help you stay on top of personal care and help them to be better. Similarly, some mild worry about your partner’s career can help you support them through tough decisions or transitions.

Unhealthy

Also, it can be unhealthy to worry about your partner’s health to the point that you do not want them to do things they want or need to do. Standing in the way of your partner’s success can put strain on your relationship and cause both of you undue stress.

Also, worrying about whether your partner is faithful or whether they will stay with you can lead to significant stress and distrust. Trust is an important aspect of any relationship, and if you constantly worry about these things, trust can begin to erode.

Worrying about a parent

If you have a parent who is older, it is natural to worry about their health or ability to care for themselves. You care about them and want to ensure they are well taken care of. If they have failing health, it is natural to worry about how long they might be around.

Healthy

A healthy amount of worry about a parent’s well-being can be helpful to them. When you are worried about their health and whether or not they can take care of themselves, you may be more prepared to help them when they need it and to take steps such as finding in-home nursing care when it becomes required.

Unhealthy

Worrying about a parent can become unhealthy when you constantly worry and continuously check in on them. When you spend all your time worrying about them, you may not be enjoying your time with them.

Also, this constant worry about a parent can be unhealthy for them. It can cause you to try to limit or control what they do with their time. It can make them hyper-aware of their health and cause them undue stress.

Worrying about worrying? Therapy can help

If you are worried about how much you worry, you may benefit from talking to a therapist. Worrying too much can cause significant stress and even physical harm. A therapist may be able to help you determine if your worry is rational or out of control. Letting go of your worry and anxiety may help you lower your stress levels as well as the stress levels of those around you. You may also feel healthier and have stronger relationships.

If you’re nervous about going to a therapist’s office, you might consider online therapy, which research has shown to be just as effective as in-person therapy, including for anxiety. With BetterHelp, you can connect with a licensed therapist from the comfort of your home or anywhere you have an internet connection via audio or video chat. If you’re experiencing excessive worry in between sessions, you can also communicate with your therapist via in-app messaging, and they’ll get back to you as soon as they can.