Understanding And Managing Displaced Or Misplaced Anger
Displaced or misplaced anger refers to anger that is misdirected away from the source. This misdirection, or displacement, often depends on the individual circumstances but is usually a defense mechanism we use (usually unconsciously) to reduce the potential ripple effect or amount of potential damage our anger may cause while still letting the emotion manifest.
Although there are mild, everyday causes of anger displacement, it can sometimes grow from more unpleasant and even traumatic events in an individual’s past, including major events like the death of a family, divorce, neglect, bullying, abuse, etc. Research in the field of child psychology has shown that children may be particularly susceptible to exhibiting displaced anger and negative mental health outcomes when exposed to an environment of abuse, trauma, or neglect.
Externally displaced anger
Often, displaced anger is directed specifically at a “target” that is less risky or less likely to react threateningly. A common, everyday place where someone experiences anger could be in the workplace. If you feel angry at your boss, in most cases, you’ll avoid displacing anger toward them because there’s a real risk of losing your job.
Internally displaced anger
Just as displaced anger can be directed at external sources, those who have experienced trauma can direct it inwards as well. This can result in poor coping skills, as well as negative feelings of shame, guilt, self-loathing, and self-blame. People with inwardly misdirected anger may also engage in self-harm.* This behavior is often associated with serious mental health conditions or challenges, especially in children, including major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and more.
*If you or someone you love is experiencing suicidal thoughts or thoughts about self-harm, please know that help is available. You can contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline 24/7 by dialing 988. You can also chat online with someone at the lifeline by visiting 988 Lifeline.org.
Managing displaced anger
Anger can be a challenging and negative emotion, but there are ways to manage anger and work toward keeping it from damaging ourselves and others.
Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness methods like meditation, deep breathing, and progressive relaxation techniques can be effective anger management tools, each giving you different ways to put anger into perspective before, after, and in between outbursts. Mindfulness might help you reduce angry outbursts, learn to mitigate reactivity, and think before you speak or act out in anger.
Disengage for a moment
Displaced anger can be particularly troublesome during times of stress. If possible, you might consider taking time and removing yourself from a stressful situation before you direct your anger toward the wrong person. If you can’t take a time-out, you might try to connect with your breath for a few moments by taking three deep abdominal breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. Take this time to center yourself and consider the root cause of your anger; for example, one common cause for misunderstandings is individual differences in communication. Identifying the cause of your anger can make disengaging easier, and you may be able to find a peaceful resolution.
Reach out
Confiding in someone you trust can be an effective way to manage displaced anger, calm yourself and re-align your anger toward its appropriate source. A different perspective, particularly a kind one, can help. Some people don’t feel comfortable discussing anger with friends or loved ones, particularly if some of that anger is displaced internally or externally toward them.
In these cases, getting professional help from a mental health provider may be a more comfortable option. A licensed online therapist may be able to teach you how to repair relationships and communicate effectively with the people in your life who may be affected by your anger or a related mental illness.
Engage in a creative activity
Many therapists use creative expression in the form of art therapy to treat individuals with difficulty controlling their anger. With art therapy, you can release anger and channel it freely in a safe way through the creative medium of your choice. This not only provides an outlet to express your anger but also serves as a therapeutic tool to explore the anger through your work with a therapist.
Engage in physical activity
Regardless of what kind of physical activity you choose, research shows that exercise can be an effective way to manage emotions and get anger under control. Exercise releases chemicals in the brain that control mood, promote calm, and make us feel good. Exercise can also provide a respite or diversion from stressful situations.
Talk to a counselor about displaced anger
While you can use the above coping strategies to help direct your anger appropriately, you might find that you make more progress with the guidance of a licensed therapist. Displaced anger can cause damage to a person’s life, relationships with friends or family, and mental health, but it can be addressed in numerous ways. There are several methods that therapists use to treat chronic anger and displaced anger. Some of the most common may include:
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
- Art therapy
- Psychodynamic therapy
- Family therapy
If you’re experiencing displaced anger, know that you’re not alone and that help is available. If you don’t feel comfortable going to a therapist’s office to discuss your anger, you might consider online therapy, which numerous studies have demonstrated to be effective.
With the growth in popularity of online talk therapy, it’s easier than ever to get help from a therapist specializing in treating problems with anger. BetterHelp has a network of more than 25,000 licensed therapists, making it easier to find the right therapist, including one who has experience helping people explore aggressive behavior and displaced anger.
With BetterHelp, you can connect with a therapist over the phone or video chat at a time that suits you. Also, in between sessions, you can reach out to them 24/7 via in-app messaging if you’re experiencing anger or other concerns, and they’ll respond as soon as they can.
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Takeaway
How do you deal with displaced anger?
Dealing with displaced anger from a friend, family, or co-worker requires a delicate balance of empathy, self-care, and communication. When someone directs their anger toward you or others due to unrelated issues, it's essential to remain composed and not take it personally. Anger is often a manifestation of underlying stress, frustration, or unresolved emotional issues. Having the right tools, such as staying calm, offering a listening ear, and expressing empathy may let them know that you understand that they are struggling.
While it's crucial to be supportive, it's equally important to set clear boundaries. Displaced anger can sometimes lead to emotional or verbal abuse, and caring for your emotional well-being is essential. If the displaced anger becomes disrespectful or abusive, calmly discuss feedback, communicate your boundaries, and be prepared to disengage if necessary.
What is misdirected anger called?
Misdirected anger is often referred to as "displaced anger." Displaced anger occurs when a person directs their anger or frustration toward someone or something other than the actual source of their anger. This can result in the expression of anger that is disproportionate or unrelated to the current situation or the person involved. Displaced anger can be a defense mechanism or a way for individuals to cope with their emotions, but it can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and strained relationships when not effectively managed or addressed.
What is displaced anger psychology today?
"Displaced anger" in psychology refers to one of many defense mechanisms in which an individual redirects their feelings of anger or frustration from the original source or trigger of their emotions onto another person or object. They may displace anger when the person is unable or unwilling to confront the actual source of their anger, whether it's due to fear, social constraints, or other factors.
What causes displaced anger?
Displaced anger can be caused by a variety of factors, and it often arises as a coping mechanism when a person is unable or unwilling to confront the true source of their anger directly. Some common causes and contributing factors include:
- Fear of Confrontation: Some individuals may avoid direct confrontation with the person or situation that has triggered their anger due to fear of conflict, rejection, or negative consequences. As a result, they may displace their anger onto someone or something less threatening.
- Stress and Overwhelm: High-stress levels, overwhelming responsibilities, or a series of challenging life events can lead to heightened emotions and decreased emotional regulation. In such situations, people may be more prone to displacing their anger onto others.
- Past Trauma: Individuals who have experienced trauma or abuse in the past may have difficulty expressing anger or setting boundaries with the source of their trauma. This can lead to the displacement of anger onto safer targets.
- Social or Cultural Norms: In some cultures or social contexts, expressing anger directly may be discouraged or stigmatized. As a result, people may resort to displacing their anger as a more socially acceptable way of coping.
- Inadequate Coping Skills: Some individuals may lack healthy coping skills for managing anger and frustration. Displacing anger can be a learned response if they have not been taught or have not developed effective ways to express their emotions.
- Unresolved Issues: Lingering issues or conflicts from the past that were never resolved can serve as a source of ongoing frustration. When new stressors arise, this unresolved anger can become displaced onto unrelated targets.
- Emotional Suppression: People who habitually suppress their emotions or have difficulty acknowledging their feelings may be more prone to displacing anger because they are not accustomed to expressing it directly.
What's another word for displaced anger?
Another term for displaced anger is "misplaced anger." Both terms describe the phenomenon where a person redirects their anger or frustration toward someone or something other than the actual source of their emotions. This can result in the expression of anger that is not appropriately directed and may be disproportionate to the situation or person involved.
What is the target of displaced anger?
The target of displaced anger is the person or object onto which a person redirects their anger or frustration when it is not appropriately or directly expressed toward the actual source of their emotions. This redirected anger may be aimed at someone unrelated to the triggering event or situation or may be directed at an inanimate object. The target of displaced anger is often a substitute or a secondary target that becomes the focus of the person's emotional reaction when they are unable or unwilling to confront the original source of their anger directly.
Why do I shut down when I get yelled at?
Shutting down when confronted with yelling or anger is a common response and can be a natural defensive mechanism. Several psychological and emotional factors may contribute to this reaction:
- Fight or Flight Response: Yelling or anger can trigger the body's "fight or flight" response, which is an automatic physiological reaction to perceived threats. In some individuals, the "freeze" response is activated instead of "fighting" or "fleeing." This freeze response can lead to emotional shutdown as a way to cope with the perceived threat.
- Overwhelm: Yelling and anger can be emotionally overwhelming, especially if the intensity or duration of the anger is high. When overwhelmed, some people may shut down emotionally as a way to defend themselves from the intense emotions and stress.
- Avoidance of Conflict: Some individuals may have a strong aversion to conflict and yelling. They may shut down as a way to avoid engaging in the conflict or to prevent it from escalating further.
- Past Trauma or Abuse: If a person has a history of trauma or abuse, particularly in situations involving yelling or anger, they may have learned to shut down emotionally as a self-defense response.
- Coping Mechanism: Emotional shutdown can serve as a coping mechanism when a person feels powerless or unable to influence the situation. It can be a way to detach from the intense emotions and create emotional distance.
What happens if you don't let your anger out?
Suppressing or not expressing anger can have both short-term and long-term effects on an individual's emotional and physical well-being. Here are some potential consequences of not letting your anger out:
- Increased Stress: Unexpressed anger can lead to chronic stress. When anger is suppressed, the body's stress response remains activated, potentially leading to elevated levels of stress hormones like cortisol. This prolonged stress can negatively impact physical health, including the immune system, cardiovascular system, and overall well-being.
- Physical Health Issues: Chronic anger suppression has been associated with various physical health problems, such as high blood pressure, headaches, digestive issues, and a weakened immune system. These health issues can develop over time as a result of the ongoing stress caused by suppressed anger.
- Mental Health Impact: Suppressing anger can contribute to mental health problems, including increased anxiety and depression. Unresolved anger can also lead to resentment, which may negatively affect one's mood and mental state.
- Relationship Strain: Not expressing anger can strain personal relationships. Unresolved anger can fester and lead to passive-aggressive behavior, communication breakdowns, and distance between individuals or other relationship issues. It may also prevent the resolution of conflicts, leading to ongoing tension.
- Increased Anger: Paradoxically, not expressing anger can lead to an accumulation of anger and potential anger issues over time. This pent-up anger may result in explosive outbursts or disproportionate reactions when it eventually surfaces.
What behavior can diffuse anger?
There are several behaviors and techniques that can help diffuse anger and de-escalate tense situations. When employed effectively, these behaviors can promote healthier communication and resolution of conflicts. Here are some behaviors that can help diffuse anger:
- Active Listening: Actively listen to the person expressing anger without interrupting or becoming defensive. Show that you are genuinely interested in understanding their perspective by making eye contact, nodding, and using verbal cues like "I see" or "Tell me more."
- Stay Calm: Maintain a calm and composed demeanor. Responding to anger with anger can escalate the situation. By staying calm, you can model the behavior you'd like to see in the other person. You may try to breathe deeply and slowly to stay calm in the moment.
- Empathy: Show empathy by acknowledging the person's feelings and validating their emotions. You might say, "I can see that you're upset, and I understand why you might feel that way."
- Use "I" Statements: When discussing the issue, use "I" statements to express your feelings and needs. For example, say, "I feel hurt when..." rather than making accusatory statements.
- Take Breaks: If the situation becomes too heated, suggest taking a break to cool off. Both parties can benefit from some time to gather their thoughts and emotions before continuing the conversation.
- Offer Solutions: Focus on finding solutions or compromises rather than dwelling on the problem. Problem-solving together can help shift the conversation toward a constructive outcome.
- Use Humor: When appropriate, humor can be an effective way to diffuse tension. A well-timed joke or light-hearted comment can help break the ice.
- Apologize When Necessary: If you've contributed to the conflict, be willing to apologize. A sincere apology can go a long way in diffusing anger and repairing relationships.
- Avoid Blame: Avoid placing blame or making accusatory statements. Instead, focus on the behavior or issue at hand and work together to find a resolution.
- Seek Professional Help: If the situation involves ongoing conflicts or deeply rooted issues, consider seeking the assistance of mental health professionals such as a therapist or counselor who specializes in conflict resolution and communication. Both in-person and online therapy may be options for managing anger in your daily life. For children, seeing an expert in child psychology may be beneficial.
What does displacement mean in behavior?
In behavior and psychology, "displacement" refers to a defense mechanism that involves redirecting one's emotions, particularly negative or uncomfortable feelings, from their original source or target to a different, often less threatening, target. This displacement can occur consciously or unconsciously as a way of using different methods to cope with difficult emotions or situations. It typically involves transferring emotions such as anger, frustration, anxiety, or other feelings, from the source of those emotions to another person, object, or situation.
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