For some couples, menopause and anger toward husbands seem to go together. This may make it hard for the husband to be supportive, and it certainly isn’t easy for the woman either. Not every menopausal woman is angry, but for those who are, life can be very difficult. The factors involved can’t always be erased, but there are things you can do to make this time easier for both of you. Here’s a glimpse into why this happens and what you can do about it- including online therapy.
If you’ve been a supportive husband throughout your marriage, you may be puzzled when your wife goes through menopause. Suddenly, she may not accept your kindness. She may argue with you needlessly. Maybe you feel she’s unfair to you. The truth is that there are some very good reasons for her to feel angry, and many of them probably have little to do with you. The following are a few of the most common anger triggers for menopausal women.
People talk about menopause now more than they did 50 years ago. Yet still, many people don’t know much about it unless they’ve experienced it. When you feel no one understands what you’re going through, it might make you irritable at any age.
If you do a little reading and think you understand it perfectly, you might make her angry in another way. Interpreting everything she says, does, and feels as a sign of menopause invalidates her as a complex human person. Even though she may be experiencing menopause symptoms, she wants you to remember that, in most ways, she’s still the same person she was before it started.
At first, the only problem might be changes in her period, but that can be very distressing. She no longer knows when to expect her period because it may not be regular anymore. It may be heavier or lighter than usual. It may last longer or shorter than usual. She may go for six months without a period and then have another one. The unpredictability can make her feel she no longer has any control over her own body.
Hot flashes, night sweats, and chills can make her feel very uncomfortable all day and all night. These symptoms may be partly relieved with hormone replacement therapy or natural remedies. However, many women still have them, even if the treatment does reduce their severity.
The reasons behind the discomforts listed above like night sweats and chills are due to a woman’s body going through its various changes during the stage of life. The woman’s body is preparing for menstruation cycles to end, which can cause fluctuations in weight. These fluctuations can include unpredictable gains or losses. These weight changes may be related to the fact that her pre-menopausal eating habits are also changing. In other words, a woman going through menopause may be feeling like her body is running at 100 miles an hour while she’s standing perfectly still.
There are a couple of reasons why she may be having trouble with sex. First, her vagina may get drier. That can lead to painful or uncomfortable intercourse. She may have vaginal infections more often. And, her sex drive may decrease.
During menopause, many women begin to have problems with urinary incontinence. They try to exercise, they sneeze or cough, or they have a good laugh, and suddenly they’re leaking urine. At other times, they may have a hard time getting to the bathroom in time. They may have bladder infections more often, too. All this is not only uncomfortable, but may also be deeply humiliating.
Around the time menopause hits, women can start having trouble sleeping. They may have problems falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up during the night. If they’re having night sweats, that can wake them up as well. And, if the sweating is profuse, they have to change the bed before they can go back to sleep. The lack of adequate sleep can make them feel exhausted and unhappy.
Menopause is often associated with moodiness, and there is some truth in that. The reason that happens is unclear. The exhaustion, the stress of a changing family, and just dealing with all the symptoms of menopause can all affect her mood.
Also, her body is going through a major chemical change. Her estrogen is diminishing. That’s significant in terms of her mood because estrogen controls the production of serotonin in the brain. If her serotonin is decreased, she’s probably going to find it hard to be in a good mood all the time. When you think about it, it is no surprise that menopause can affect moods.
Unless you’re much younger than your wife, you may be going through some changes yourself. You may be at an age when you realize you have more years behind you than ahead of you. You may also notice changes in your physical body as well. Trips to the bathroom may become more frequent as other symptoms of aging like greying hair or a sudden need for prescription reading glasses may be happening at this time in your life as well.
What does all this have to do with her menopausal anger? Maybe nothing except that if you already feel bad about yourself and your life, it may be harder for you to have the emotional stability to be there for her.
You may want to fix everything for her, but you won’t be able to get rid of all the problems she’s facing completely. You may not be able to keep her from being angry from time to time either. But there are ways you can help.
The most important thing you can do if your wife is going through menopause is to be compassionate. Try to imagine how you would feel if these things were happening to you. Keep doing kind things for her to show her you still care. If you’re committed to being a compassionate partner, the rest of these tips will come more easily.
Your wife may be carrying around a lot of uncomfortable emotions during menopause. And, if she feels you won’t understand, she might not even try to share them with you. But, hiding strong feelings typically doesn’t result in a better relationship.
So, ask her how she’s feeling. Then listen carefully. Summarize what she said and ask if that’s right. Tell her you’re there for her in each situation she describes. When she comes to you, make time to really pay attention to what she has to say. Engage with her on a deep, personal level.
Your sexual relationship doesn’t have to cause arguments or disagreements. Go with her to a doctor to learn ways to make it easier for both of you. Accept that sex might not happen as often as before. Show your affection in other ways, like hugging, kissing, or even just holding her hand during a movie.
Telling your wife that she needs to exercise will just make her angrier, in most cases. Yet, exercise will help reduce the increased risk of heart disease that comes with menopause. It will also make her feel better about herself. And, if you do it with her, she’ll feel better about you, too. Do some low-impact cardio together, take a Sunday hike, or bicycle together to the park. Avoid being too competitive or judgmental. Instead, think of it as a way to have fun with her.
Encourage Her To Engage In Creative Activities
Your wife may feel angry during menopause, no matter what you do or what she does. However, if she gets involved in a creative activity, she can channel that anger into something positive. Encourage her to take up a creative hobby like writing, painting, or gardening. Let her use these outlets to get her angry feelings out. Then, show your admiration for her work on each project.
During this difficult time, staying healthy can help you deal with any anger that comes up between you. Eat healthy foods, exercise, and get enough sleep. Practice mindfulness meditation so you can reduce the effect of any turmoil in the household. When you’re at your best, you’ll be able to support her more easily.
If you are struggling to deal with your partner’s anger, and all your efforts seem wasted, it might be time to seek therapy. Talking to a couples therapist can help you both understand each other better. Your therapist can help you learn to make better choices in the way you treat each other. They can guide you as you discover new ways to interact. Through the process, her anger may eventually diminish, and your relationship may blossom like never before.
It is very common for relationships to grow strained during menopause. As a result, many turn to couples therapy to work through the issues that arise. According to the North American Menopause Society, it is typical for couples to seek sex therapy when menopause occurs. The organization states that couples sex therapy has a high success rate of improving sexual aversion that commonly occurs during menopause, as well as orgasm difficulties.
You can talk to a counselor together easily through BetterHelp for online therapy. The sooner you begin, the sooner you can start on the path to a happier, more fulfilling marriage. With BetterHelp, you don’t have to worry about sitting in traffic or taking time out of your day to drive to an appointment. You and your partner can access BetterHelp from the comfort and privacy of your own homes. Read below for some reviews of BetterHelp counselors, from people experiencing similar issues.
“Shawn has helped me gain a positive perspective on my life and change my focus from shortcomings or failures to my strengths and achievements. He really examines my problems carefully and provided worksheets to help me identify my goals and triggers for my anger issues. This greatly helped me to increase self-awareness.”
“Karen has helped me to be able to look outside the box to find how to find possible solutions to my sex life with my wife. A most insightful approach which I had partly recognized before but not taken seriously or realized just how I felt about it.”
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Can menopause make you mad?
There is a chance that menopause can make you mad. This is due to the fact that the changes in hormone levels can alter your moods. You may experience other moods as well. But in many cases, it is no cause for concern.
What helps with menopause irritability?
When you are experiencing irritability in relation to this time, there are things you can do to ease these menopausal symptoms. For example, you can improve your sleeping, eat right, exercise, and limit the amount of stress in your life. These things can also help alleviate other symptoms.
What is the hormone for getting mad?
The hormone that is responsible for getting mad is thought to be testosterone. This time of life may impact the amount of testosterone in your body, which can lead to changes in mood and other things that you might not want.
Why am I so angry all the time?
Menopause and getting mad go hand in hand, since you may experience irritability when you are experiencing this. If you want relief, there is evidence to suggest that essential oils provide relief. A few oils to try are lavender and mint. Otherwise, healthy outlets for getting mad include physical exercise, deep breathing, or hobbies you can immerse yourself in, like painting or gardening.
What causes someone to get mad in the brain?
In the brain, getting mad is thought to be controlled by the amygdala. This is the section that is responsible for processing anger and fear. It may be that the amygdala is greatly affected by menopause. Keep in mind that essential oils provide relief and there are other things you can check out that may help as well. When you do your own research, you might be able to transition easier.
What causes someone to get mad chemically?
Anger is thought to be caused by an uptick in testosterone. At the same time, serotonin plays a part as well, since it is tasked with regulating getting mad. If you are experiencing this change of life and are mad, you may need to consider getting these hormone levels evaluated. When you speak to a health care provider, they will be able to walk you through symptoms and explain what is going on with your hormones and moods.
What Mental Illness Causes One to Get Angry?
Many mental illnesses may get mad as a symptom. This doesn’t mean that they cause one to get mad, but people that are affected by certain mental conditions may experience madness if they have ADHD, BPD, or NPD. People may also become mad when they are experiencing menopause, as it is a one of the many menopause symptoms.
What do you call a person who gets mad easily?
You may call someone that gets mad irritable. They may also be known as a hothead. It is more productive to see if it can be determined why someone is mad before resulting to name-calling, however. For example, if a woman is going through perimenopause and is mad, you might want to look into perimenopause symptom treatments, which may be able to provide menopause relief and ease certain problematic symptoms.
How do you deal with someone who is always mad?
If someone you care about is angry all the time, it is best to remember to be patient with them. You should always be as calm as possible when you talk to them and try to see their point of view. They may have something bothering them or weighing them down, which is causing them to be angry. Anger is one of the most common menopause symptoms, and it is also a symptom for many other conditions.
What is perimenopausal rage?
When perimenopause starts, it means that a woman’s body begins to produce less estrogen. Other changes are taking place as well. This indicates that there is a change in hormones, which can lead to mood swings, or rage. If you find yourself angry during perimenopause, consider seeking advice on perimenopause symptom treatments.
Can it affect your mental health?
Menopause is able to affect your mental health. For example, since there are hormone changes, this can cause other mental conditions to manifest. Be sure to have yourself checked out if your menopause symptoms feel like they are severe.
Can this change of life cause marriage problems?
There is a possibility that menopause can cause marriage problems, but this is usually not the root cause. When there are underlying problems in marriages, menopause may bring them to the surface. When you have a partner that you can communicate with, you may be able to get through menopause easier. A licensed therapist can help you develop tools to strengthen your relationship throughout this time.
How long does brain fog last in this time?
Brain fog can last a long time when it comes to menopause. You may want to reach out for tips for symptom like this, so you won’t be as frustrated when it happens to you. Oils provide relief, in some cases, and may help you get through it easier.
Why am I so angry during this time?
Like with many of the other symptoms related to this, anger arises because of the hormonal changes taking place in the body. Anger during this time is common and many women experience this. You may also be angry because of the other changes taking place.