An Overview Of Chronic Loneliness: What It Is And How To Address It

According to the American Psychological Association, loneliness is the “affective and cognitive discomfort or uneasiness from being or perceiving oneself to be alone or otherwise solitary”. Experiencing this feeling from time to time is not uncommon, but chronic loneliness—or feeling persistently lonely over time—can be debilitating and may negatively impact an individual’s physical and mental health. Read on to learn more about what chronic loneliness is, the effects it can have on a person’s well-being, and tips for coping with it.

What Is Chronic Loneliness?

As outlined in the definition above, loneliness doesn’t always come from having no one around. It can also result from the perception of being alone or not having support. In other words, even if you’re surrounded by other people daily, you could still experience loneliness if you don’t feel that you have a particularly close emotional bond with anyone. As of 2021, as many as 36% of Americans—including 61% of young adults and 51% of mothers with young children—report experiencing “serious loneliness”. Chronic loneliness is often characterized by some or all of the following:

• Feeling unable to connect with others

• Difficulty sleeping

• Feelings of social isolation

• Feelings of self-doubt and low self-worth

• Exhaustion and burnout

Chronic loneliness can result from a variety of factors. First, an individual’s circumstances often play a role. For example, someone may experience persistent loneliness after a divorce, the loss of a spouse, friend, or family, or moving to a new place where they don’t know anyone—especially if the culture and/or language are unfamiliar. Chronic loneliness can also be connected to a disability or other existing physical or mental health condition, such as one that causes low energy levels or makes it difficult for an individual to leave the house.

Potential Impacts Of Chronic Loneliness

Chronic loneliness can have negative effects on an individual’s physical and mental health. These can include the following.

Sleep Problems

Chronic loneliness may contribute to the development of insomnia and/or other sleep issues. For instance, some research suggests that loneliness can lead to decreased sleep quality. While this can result in direct effects like low energy and drowsiness, it can also contribute to more significant, lasting problems over the long term. The Division of Sleep Medicine at Harvard Medical School reports that insufficient sleep can have many adverse consequences, such as poor learning abilities, decreased retention of information, poor judgment, and a higher likelihood of being involved in serious accidents.

Mental Health Issues

Loneliness has strong associations with depression. A person experiencing chronic loneliness may become depressed, or the reverse may be true: A person experiencing depression may withdraw socially because of their other symptoms and become lonely as a result. As an article on the topic reports, studies show that “loneliness is a stronger predictor of mental health than mental health is a predictor of loneliness”. In other words, while a mental health condition can lead to an increase in feelings of loneliness, social connectedness can benefit mental health.

A Lower Life Expectancy

Chronic loneliness can also serve as a contributing factor to a reduction in an individuals’ life expectancy. Some research suggests that loneliness could shorten a person’s lifespan by several years. Researchers note, however, that “identification and management of loneliness may increase years of life”.

Susceptibility To Disease

Recent studies report that the risk of dementia for individuals who experience social isolation is 50% higher than for those who do not. Chronic loneliness can also increase the risk of certain physical health conditions, such as heart disease and stroke. In fact, research has uncovered a correlation between insufficient social relationships and a 29% increased risk of heart disease and a 32% increased risk of stroke.

Tips For Addressing Feelings Of Loneliness

Of course, seeking out methods of connecting with others is usually recommended for those who feel lonely, but this can often be easier said than done. With chronic loneliness in particular, the prospect of putting oneself out there socially can become increasingly daunting over time. In addition to considering meeting your neighbors or joining a sports league, book club, or hobby group to get to know new people, there are other techniques you can try to manage and potentially decrease feelings of loneliness.

Be Mindful Of Social Media Use

One study reports that “problematic social media use”—which was primarily measured in terms of frequency—is associated with both loneliness and social anxiety. In other words, the more time a person spends on social media, the more risk they may be at for feeling lonely. One reason is that people tend to post the highlights of their lives on social media, often making it look to others like they’re always thriving and are constantly surrounded by dozens of friends. Comparing oneself to these representations can lead to dissatisfaction with one’s own life, and social withdrawal as a result. The time an individual spends browsing social media could also take away from time they might spend with existing friends, or time that could be spent engaging in activities to make new friends. If you’re experiencing loneliness and also spend a large portion of your time on social media, it may be worth cutting back somewhat and seeing how you feel.

Volunteer

Volunteering for a cause you’re passionate about can give you the opportunity to connect with like-minded people who also support that cause. However, that’s not the only reason that giving of your time can help counteract feelings of loneliness. One study, for example, suggests that those who volunteer self-report greater levels of both health and happiness. The researchers hypothesize that it could be due to the fact that volunteering can increase empathy, shift aspirations, and change a person’s perspective of their own situation. They also note that the act of giving money does not seem to offer the same benefits. So if you’re experiencing loneliness, finding ways to do good for other people—whether formally in a volunteer role or more informally, such as by completing random acts of kindness—may help.

Build Self-Esteem

For some people, low self-esteem is what holds them back from forming new social relationships. Prolonged loneliness may also negatively impact self-esteem levels, meaning that implementing techniques to try and improve this measure can be beneficial. Practicing self-compassion is one strategy to try, which entails “entails treating oneself with kindness, recognizing one’s humanity, and being mindful when considering negative aspects of oneself”. Engaging in more positive self-talk can be an important element of this. You might also work on setting realistic goals and achieving them and learning to set boundaries.

Speak With A Therapist

If you’re concerned about feelings of loneliness that you may be experiencing, it can also be worthwhile to consider speaking with a counselor. If your feelings of loneliness are the result of a mental health condition, they can offer strategies for managing your symptoms. If they’re due to low self-esteem, loss, or other reasons, they can provide support, a safe place to express your emotions, and techniques for self-care and coping with difficult feelings.

Research suggests that both in-person and online therapy can offer similar benefits in most cases, which means that most people can choose whichever format they prefer. If you’re looking for a more convenient or cost-effective option, you might consider online counseling. With a virtual therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can get matched with a licensed therapist who you can meet with via phone, video call, and/or online chat to address the challenges you may be facing. See below for reviews of BetterHelp counselors from clients who have experienced similar issues.

Counselor Reviews

"Shelley is very accommodating, gentle and encouraging. No matter what place I was in, she tries to make me comfortable exactly where that is. She is the comforting soul that keep me company in a lonely place. I look forward to each of our session, and I'm given weekly takeaways to reflect on that helps tremendously, step by step, week by week. Learning to love yourself, learning to love your time spent, these are not always the easiest thing to do, but it's a lifelong process. Shelley is the perfect guide."

"Jenny has thoroughly helped me realize things about myself that I would have not been able to alone. She keeps things personable while remaining professional. She has created a safe and trusting environment and I'm grateful that BetterHelp has such an amazing counselor!"

Takeaway

Many of us feel lonely from time to time, but persistent or chronic loneliness may be cause for concern. Since it can correlate with both mental and physical health problems, considering some of the strategies outlined above for managing loneliness may be worthwhile.