Confessing Your Feelings – How To Tell A Girl You Love Her

Updated March 7, 2023by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Falling in love is a wonderful feeling, but it doesn't happen overnight. You meet someone who you're attracted to, get closer and closer to that person, then one day you realize you're falling for them. Getting to the place where you can have that special connection with someone involves risk – including telling them how you feel. Some people don't find expressing emotions easy. If you're one of those individuals, you're not alone. When you want to communicate that you have feelings for someone, you need to be comfortable expressing your emotions. In this article, you will learn how to confess your feelings to that special someone.

Expressing Love Can Be Difficult

It can be tough to put yourself out there. Many people are afraid of rejection, sometimes to the point of letting opportunities pass them by, whether that's in love or life. A little preparation often makes taking risks – including telling someone how you feel about them – easier and more successful. Here are some tips to give your confidence a boost when expressing your romantic feelings. 

Make Sure That It's A Good Time

Many relationships start as friendships, develop into crushes, then proceed into a romantic relationship. You may not know for sure if your friend also has evolving feelings for you, which is why it's essential to have an open and honest dialogue.

Before revealing your emotions, assess the situation, make sure they are ready to listen to you, and that they aren’t preoccupied with something else. Perhaps wait for an intimate moment between the two of you. Make sure they’re listening and ready to discuss your relationship.  If you're feeling uncertain about saying that you like (or maybe even love) them, don't rush it. It might take some time to determine the right moment. 

Ensure That Your Love Interest Isn't Dating Anyone Else

Many people wind up falling for someone who is already in a relationship and dating. You don't want to start a new relationship by encouraging a crush to cheat on their partner. If the person you are interested in is dating someone else, even if they have only been dating for a short while, then you need to respect the boundary of that relationship and not profess your feelings. Being interested in a crush or a friend while they are dating someone else can be a challenge, but it's the right thing to do under these circumstances. You wouldn't want your crush to cheat on you. 

If your crush ends their relationship at some point, remember they will need time to heal. They may not be ready to hear what you're saying. Be mindful of this before deciding it's time to profess your love or they may not be ready to date again, or you may end up as a rebound. 

Choose A Place Where You'll Feel Confident

It's important to feel a sense of confidence when you're expressing something vulnerable, such as feelings for another person. Aside from thinking about what to talk to girls about, it would help if you also considered the place. Pick a place where you feel comfortable so that you can speak naturally. Take some time to think about where you're going to feel comfortable saying what you need to talk to your crush or friend about. It's an important moment. 

Choose a spot where you can speak secretly. It's best to avoid expressing these deep feelings in a public place where others can hear. If you take the time to find a comfortable spot, you will both feel like you have the freedom to communicate intimate emotions.

Considering a romantic setting is another option. You could pick a beautiful spot in a local park that has an idyllic backdrop. Some people choose to confess their feelings at a nice restaurant to set the tone. If you want things to go well, romantic scenery could enhance the moment. Pay attention to what they like. If they seem to be a bit of a romantic, then a beautiful sunrise or sunset could do wonders. Bringing flowers or another gift is a nice gesture to set the scene. It depends on their personality and what they enjoy.

Express Your Feelings Openly And Honestly

Telling your romantic interest that you have feelings them isn't always going to seem natural. Even asking a crush out on a date can be hard for many people. Some people feel embarrassed when talking about love and other romantic things. Even so, try to be open to make sure that they understand how you feel and what intentions you have. When you confess your feelings to your crush, proceed with confidence and be direct. Otherwise, a friend may mistake your confession for normal friendship behavior and not respond.

Explain what's on your mind as clearly as you can. Be respectful of their feelings throughout the process. Here's a moment where you need to be strong and honest even when it feels difficult. Establish honesty and communication from the beginning. 

Try Writing Your Love Confession Down

Some people feel anxious about confessing their feelings. For that reason, it may be helpful to write down your confession instead of delivering it in person. When you talk, you may stumble over your words and emotions, but with writing, you can choose your love words for her carefully. 

A loving note can also be romantic. A heartfelt letter shows how much you care. After you've done this, you'll be able to set up a meeting in person to discuss how you can move forward.

If you're going to write a love letter to a crush, consider doing it by hand rather than by text or email. Your crush will likely appreciate the time and effort that went into crafting a hand-written note. If you wind up falling in love with one another, the letter will be a cherished keepsake that reminds you of how it all started.

Another option is to write out what you want to say for yourself first. Then you may be able to speak it as articulately as you’d like in person. Your expression will be more concise and eloquent. 

Be Patient

Not all love confessions end as dramatically as Hollywood movies. Sometimes the other person needs space and time to take in what you've said. They might want to process things and take some time to explore their feelings. It's possible that they may be falling for you too, but need time to open up to these new possibilities that have been presented. Or they may be happy you decided to speak up first, and your honesty may allow them to explore the possibility of pursuing a serious relationship. Either way, having these feelings out in the open is healthier than keeping them bottled up inside. 

There are also times when you express your feelings to your crush but they don’t feel the same way. It might be a harsh blow to take, but regardless, be proud of yourself for having the courage to tell your crush how you feel. 

Expressing Love Can Be Difficult

Getting Help

Some people have a harder time expressing their feelings than others. Whether you need some help learning how to communicate your feelings, or are feeling anxious about experiencing rejection, speaking with a therapist can help. A professional counselor, such as through BetterHelp, can help you to move forward without trepidation. You could end up freeing yourself from anxious feelings that are holding you back both in love, and in other areas of your life. 

Studies have shown that online therapy can help individuals successfully address nervousness or other unwanted emotions arising out of social situations, like the first time you tell someone you have feelings for them. In a study published in the Journal of Medical Internet Research, researchers examined the effectiveness of online cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) in treating symptoms of social anxiety. The report states that online CBT has long-lasting positive effects, with researchers concluding that the decreases in anxiety had been sustained five years after treatment was finished. Cognitive-behavioral therapy reduces issues like anxiety by helping individuals replace negative thoughts to control their emotions and behaviors in potentially triggering situations, such as social interactions.

As mentioned above, with online therapy, you can better manage unwanted emotions that may be keeping you from expressing yourself the way you’d like. If you’re already experiencing symptoms of social anxiety in some form, you may not be comfortable with face-to-face therapy. With BetterHelp, you can attend sessions from the comfort of your home, or wherever you have an internet connection. Read below for reviews of counselors, from those experiencing similar issues. 

Counselor Reviews

“He’s not only provided me support but insight and encouragement to let me know I’m on a good path to self-improvement and discovery. Furthermore, Mark has provided me valuable insight on my romantic relationship, specifically with learning more about the relationship dynamics and how to build a stronger, healthier relationship.”

"Rachel is awesome! Gently encouraging and very responsive. I prefer to communicate via messages, and I love that that is an option. I feel that she totally understands me and is never judgmental. The stress from work impacts my partner less since I've been talking to Rachel - I am managing my stress and insecurity better."


Expressing your emotions can be difficult, and it is often even harder when it’s to someone you love. If your love life is suffering due to anxiety, you can learn to cope with these issues. You deserve to live a fulfilling life, and therapy can be instrumental in supporting you through tough times. Take the first step today.

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