Confessing Your Feelings – How To Tell A Girl You Love Her

By Robert Porter|Updated July 8, 2022
CheckedMedically Reviewed By Aaron Horn, LMFT

Being in love is a wonderful feeling, but it doesn't happen overnight. You meet someone who you're attracted to, and get closer and closer to that person, then one day you realize you're in love. To get to a place where you can have that special connection with someone, there's risk-taking involved. You need to be willing to put yourself out there. That starts by expressing that you care about someone from the start. Let's say you meet a beautiful girl. You want to talk to her, but you're nervous. Gathering the courage to express how you feel to someone who catches your eye isn't easy. But, if you can manage to do that, it may evolve into something wonderful, like a long-term committed romantic relationship. Some people don't find expressing emotions easy. If you're one of those individuals, you're not alone. If you're having trouble sharing your feelings, take a step back, and assess the situation. When you want to communicate that you love someone, you need to be comfortable expressing your emotions. In this article, you will learn how to confess your feelings to that special someone.

Expressing Love Can Be Difficult

It can be tough to put yourself out there. Many people are terrified of being rejected, and let opportunities pass them by because they're afraid to take risks, whether that's in love or life. Most things done with little preparation are not done well, and if you want to live happily ever after with your crush, below are a few tips to give you a confidence boost. It is normal to be afraid and lack confidence in these situations but it important to try to be confident and courageousin order to give love a shot when you confess to your crush. Here are some ways to help you show your feelings to your crush in a way that others can receive them.

Confessing Feelings: Make Sure That It's a Good Time

Confessing your feelings can be overwhelming. Before expressing your emotions, read the room. Consider whether it's a good time to speak your mind. You may be excited to share your feelings and tell a girl you love her, but if she's had a bad day, it might not be the most opportune moment. If your crush recently ended another relationship, she may not be ready to receive what you're saying. If you're feeling uncertain about telling her that you love her, don't rush it. It might take some time to determine the right moment. Be mindful of what's happening between you two, and read her energy.

Many people have been friends before they enter into a romantic relationship. The transition with this very close friend between friends and lovers doesn't have to be so complicated. It might be nerve-racking at first to break the barrier between friendship and dating, but it's possible to have your relationship evolve from close friends to something more. She might feel the same way you do, and that's why it's essential to have an open and honest dialogue. Before you start expressing your feelings, assess the situation, and make sure she is ready to hear you. Catch her when she's not preoccupied with something else. It could be an intimate moment between the two of you. You want to make sure that she's listening and ready to discuss your relationship. It is important to not confess indirectly, or she may misunderstand you. When you confess your feelings to your crush, proceed with confidence and be direct. Otherwise, a friend may mistake your confession for normal friendship behavior and not respond.

Confessing Feelings: Ensure That Your Love Interest Isn't Dating Anyone Else

Many people wind up falling for someone who is already in a relationship and dating. You don't want to start a new relationship by encouraging a crush to cheat on their partner. If the girl you love is dating someone else, even if they have been dating for a short while, then you need to respect the boundary of that relationship and leave it be. Being interested in a crush or a friend while they are dating someone else can be a challenge, but it's the right thing to do under these circumstances. You wouldn't want your crush to cheat on you. Stay the course, talk to your crush as a friend and interesting person, and wait until your crush is not dating anyone to confess.

Let's say that they break up, and some time has passed. You get the opportunity to express your love when she's single. Try to find a good moment to have conversation with your crush, talk to her about dating, and confess to your crush how you feel. It's important to remember that there is a healing period after a relationship ends. Be mindful of that when you are expressing your love for her. She needs to get over the last relationship before jumping into something new, and you want to avoid being a rebound.

Confessing Feelings: Choose a Place Where You'll Feel Confident

It's important to feel a sense of confidence when you're expressing something vulnerable, such as love for another person. Some people prefer to share their feelings in a place they're at ease. Maybe it's your favorite coffee shop or even your home. Pick a place where you feel comfortable so that you can speak naturally. It could be a restaurant that you're used to going to together or anywhere that you both feel relaxed. It is helpful to know that when you talk to your crush, you need to give her space to respond how she feels too.

Take some time to think about where you're going to feel comfortable saying what you need to talk to your crush or friend about. It's an important moment, and you will likely remember it for years to come. Most people will want to be able to find a spot where they can speak privately. It's best to avoid expressing these deep feelings in a public place where others can hear. As long as you take the time to find a comfortable spot, you will both feel like you have the privacy to communicate intimate emotions.

You Could Consider a Romantic Setting, as Well

Considering a romantic setting is another option. You could pick a beautiful spot in a local park that has an idyllic backdrop. Some people choose to confess their love at a nice restaurant to set the tone. If you want things to go well, romantic scenery could enhance the moment. Pay attention to what she likes. If she seems to be a bit of a romantic herself, then a beautiful sunrise or sunset could do wonders. Bringing her flowers is a nice gesture set the scene. It depends on her personality and what she enjoys.

Tell Her How You're Feeling in an Open and Honest Way

It also needs to be said that you should try to express your feelings openly and honestly. Telling your girlfriend that you love her isn't always going to feel natural. Asking a crush out on a date is always going to be hard for most people. Some people feel embarrassed when talking about stuff like this. Even so, you have to try to be open to make sure that the girl understands how you feel and what intentions you have.

Tell her what's on your mind as clearly as you can. Be respectful of her feelings throughout the process. Here's a moment where you need to be strong and honest even when it feels difficult. Establish honesty and communication from the beginning. Telling a crush how you feel could lead to date, more dates, and eventually could lead to a long-lasting relationship.

Try Writing Your Love Confession Down

Some people are nervous or anxious about confessing their feelings. Telling a girl you love her can be challenging. It's a big step in a relationship, and it's going to be hard, whether you've been casually dating or if you're still friends.

For that reason, it may be helpful to write down your confession instead of delivering it in person. It's a useful method for people who are too anxious to say how they feel in person. When you talk, you may stumble over your words and emotions, but with writing, you can choose your words carefully. If you want to write it for yourself first, you then might be able to speak it as articulately as you’d like in person. Your confession will be more concise and eloquent. It's optimal to confess your love to your crush face to face, but a loving note can also be romantic. Confessing that you love a crush in a heartfelt letter shows her how much you care. After you've done this, you'll be able to set up a meeting in person to discuss how you can move forward.

If you're going to write a love letter to a crush, consider doing it by hand. You could send a text message to her, but that isn't all that romantic. The crush is likely going to appreciate the time and effort that went into crafting a hand-written note. If you wind up falling in love with one another, the letter will be a cherished keepsake that reminds you of how it all started.

Be Patient

Be patient when it comes to confessing your love to a girl. It doesn't come easily and sometimes the moment isn't right. Exercising patience is essential for multiple reasons. It's good to be patient because you need to wait for the optimal moment to express your feelings. It's important to be patient, and give the girl time to think about what you said.

Not all love confessions end as dramatically as Hollywood movies. Sometimes a girl needs some space and time to take in what you've said to her. She might want to process things and take some time to explore her feelings. It's possible that she might be in love with you, too, but will need time to open up to these new possibilities that have been presented.

A girl might be happy that you're the one who decided to speak up first. Having these feelings out in the open will feel so much better than keeping them bottled up inside. You can explore the possibilities of being in a loving relationship, and that might lead to true happiness.

Getting to this point takes patience, and you may feel anxious about it. Regardless, be proud of yourself for taking the time to show the person that you love how you feel. Learning how to tell your girlfriend that you love them is essential, and you want them to know that they're loved. Take your time and move forward whenever you're ready.

There are times when you express that you love a girl, and she doesn’t feel the same way. It might be a harsh blow to take, but you can cope with these feelings with some help. (It can even be a good thing, sometimes). No matter the situation, therapy is a great place to discuss relationship challenges.

You Have Options If You're Experiencing Anxiety

You might be dealing with some anxiety over confessing your love to the girl of your dreams. That's relatively normal, but it can also be stressful. Anxiety is something that can make you feel out of control. You don't need to deal with it by yourself. Thankfully, you can get the help of a licensed mental health professional such as a therapist.

Seeing a therapist or counselor will allow you to move forward without trepidation. You could end up freeing yourself from anxious feelings that are holding you back in many areas of your life. Your therapist will be there for you every step of the way. Consider online therapy as a convenient, flexible option.

Expressing Love Can Be Difficult

Expressing Yourself With BetterHelp

Studies have shown that online therapy can help individuals successfully address nervousness or other unwanted emotions arising out of social situations, like the first time you tell a girl you love her. In a study published in the Journal of Medical Internet Research, researchers examined the effectiveness of online cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) in treating symptoms of social anxiety. The report states that online CBT has long-lasting positive effects, with researchers concluding that the decreases in anxiety had been sustained five years after treatment was finished. Cognitive-behavioral therapy reduces issues like anxiety by helping individuals replace negative thoughts in order to regulate their emotions and behaviors in potentially triggering situations, such as social interactions.

As mentioned above, with online therapy, you can better manage unwanted emotions that may be keeping you from expressing yourself the way you’d like. If you’re already experiencing symptoms of social anxiety in some form, you may not be comfortable with face-to-face therapy. With BetterHelp, you can attend sessions from the comfort of your home, or wherever you have an internet connection. Read below for reviews of counselors, from those experiencing similar issues. 

Counselor Reviews

“Mark has been extremely attentive to everything that I disclose. He’s not only provided me support but insight and encouragement to let me know I’m on a good path to self improvement and discovery. Furthermore, Mark has provided me valuable insight on my romantic relationship, specifically with learning more about the relationship dynamics and how to build a stronger, healthier relationship.”

"Rachel is awesome! Gently encouraging and very responsive. I prefer to communicate via messages, and I love that that is an option. I feel that she totally understands me and is never judgemental. The stress from work impacts my partner less since I've been talking to Rachel - I am managing my stress and insecurity better."

Conclusion

Expressing your emotions can be difficult, and is often even harder when it’s to someone you love. If your love life is suffering due to anxiety, you can learn to cope with these issues. You deserve to live a fulfilling life, and therapy can be instrumental in supporting you through tough times. Take the first step today.

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