The Most Obvious Signs He Loves You But Is Afraid To Catch Feelings

Updated October 7, 2022 by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Are you wondering if a man is falling for you but is fearful of a relationship? There are no undeniable signs, absolute signs, or secret signs that a person loves another but is putting up barriers. There are also no definitive signs or telling signs that a man is falling for you but is afraid to commit. However, there are many healthy ways that you can handle uncertainty in relationships, have a positive love life, and learn more about falling in love.

Have you been seeing someone and you're not sure how they feel? How do you know if a man is falling for you? Are there signs a man is falling for you? Do they pursue you relentlessly for a while, initiating dates and get-togethers, only to pull back and act distant a few days later while you’re beginning to develop feelings? Do you feel like you might be falling in love and then wonder if your love interest is pulling back? If this distance continues to grow, these can be signs that a guy has lost their love connection or is having mixed feelings about whether or not they’re falling for you or love you. But perhaps there are other reasons or signs a man is acting a certain way. For example, perhaps a man is falling for you or falling in love with you and they’re just afraid or fear your feelings or theirs. Continue reading to learn about what different behaviors may mean when it comes to relationships, love, attraction, and a man falling for someone. You can read how online therapy can help you decipher your feelings about signs a man is falling in love with you, you’re falling in love with him, you have the same values about where the relationship is headed, or if the relationship is going in another direction. (And more related reading and advice is available on BetterHelp.)

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Signs A Guy Has Fallen In Love But He's Scared

How do men fall in love? Are there sure signs a man is interested in you? Can a man fall deeply in love but not show it? If a man is falling for you, why would they act like they’re not? It can be frustrating having feelings for someone you're dating but not being sure if they reciprocate those feelings. There are no concrete or undeniable signs to guarantee to someone is falling in love with you. Still, not knowing can be stressful and cause a lot of anguish and sleepless nights. You may find yourself caught up in your thoughts, trying to untangle the truth about a man falling for you or not. You might begin to agonize over whether or not you notice some signs that your love interest is catching feelings.

Of course, people fall for each other in different ways and every man is different in their unique ways, but there are a few questions that may suggest how he's feeling: is he afraid of rejection, is he afraid of commitment, is he into you? Looking at the following signs, perhaps a man is falling for you or he's even falling in love but is scared to admit it. Thinking about all the signs may help you gauge where your relationship is headed.

He Is Hesitant

Before we discuss the common signs that a man may display when he has conflicted feelings, let's talk about the potential reasons behind this ambivalence. Research supports the theory that love and fears can become connected when we go through negative experiences. While you may not have that much information about your guy's dating history, whatever you do know may give you insight into why he would be hesitant to embrace his romantic feelings. He may be afraid or reserved, or he just might not know the next move to make. 

He Is Afraid of Rejection

Signs a man is falling for you but is fearful about committing may have to do with his history. Maybe he's been hurt by a past relationship and is afraid of rejection. Men, just like women, can feel very vulnerable when it comes to loving someone, especially if their heart has been broken in the past, it may make them afraid of the future. Unless you're the first person he's been involved with; he's likely had difficult experiences involving rejection and heartache, he fears this will happen again. Maybe he likes you but doesn't want to show signs he's catching feelings for you.

He Went Through A Break-Up

If he's been through a significant break-up or divorce, he may be guarding his heart carefully from experiencing the same pain and not be ready to fall in love. This can be completely normal; it is just his past making him afraid of what is next to come. No matter how much you care about him, you can't force him to rush into things. This kind of attitude will usually only push him away. It can be best to give him space and be understanding as he copes with his fears of what is to come. Then you may see clear signs that he’s feeling more secure about pursuing a relationship.

How To Know He Has Feelings

Are there signs a man has romantic feelings for you? To get an insight into how your guy feels, observe his behavior without confronting him on what they mean, which may put him on the defensive. There may be signs a guy loves you or he's interested in you but is afraid of rejection. The following patterns generally occur due to intensely conflicting feelings, a clash between how much he cares about you and want to run away from the intensity of the relationship, so he doesn't end up getting hurt, he may be afraid of rejection. Be on the lookout for the following signs that may clue you into how he feels.

He Stares Then He Looks Away

Signs a man is interested in you or even falling in love with you can including making eye contact and then looking away. You may see him staring at you from across the room or notice that he's holding eye contact longer than he did before, but then he averts his gaze when he realizes you're on to him. In any case, increased visual attention is a clear sign that he has feelings for and is very attracted to you. The fact that he's looking away is an indicator that the feeling is overwhelming to him, it may be a case where he's afraid of rejection or he's afraid of how you feel. 

The particular way he looks at you can also give you insight into how he feels and if he likes you. There's a different vibe to how he'll look at you when it comes from a place of love, versus a place of attraction. Signs a man may be falling for you can include a softness in his eyes, a longing that's on a deeper level than lust, which is yet another of the signs he caught feelings. Sustained eye contact can be a form of intimacy.

He Is Eager Then He Is Distant

Signs a man is interested in a relationship with can include showing his interest but then pulling back. This is one of the clearest signs he caught feelings but is scared of getting closer. See if you recognize this pattern: He's acting interested and initiates a few dates in a row. Everything goes well, and you feel good about the relationship. Suddenly, his level of communication plummets, and he's busier than normal. Maybe he's not returning your messages like he did before or avoids your phone calls. If the distance continued to grow, you would probably assume that he's losing interest or lost interest. However, just when you begin to make the distance of your own, he contacts you, and the cycle begins anew.

This common pattern can be a telltale sign of a man who is scared to commit. He may be afraid of rejection. He may feel insecure. His emotional fragility may be part of the issue, even if he doesn’t show it. When you notice him pulling away, you might try to give him space. Sometimes chasing after him can encourage him to start running. Instead, even if it's difficult, focus on your own life and keep busy. You’re well-being is important. It’s possible that the more space he's given and the more independent he sees you, the more likely he will feel comfortable getting closer on his own time. You can stop looking out for signs he's catching feelings and let him come to a decision about you and whether or not he's afraid of rejection. And if he does show a good sign that he’s ready for more, you can then consider whether you’re truly ready for more with him, too. Remember that it’s possible for one partner to fall in love earlier than another.

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He Listens And He Remembers

Signs a man is falling for you may include him listening to you and remembering what you’ve said. Have you ever been talking to someone and had the unpleasant experience of realizing they do not hear a word you say? In our distraction-laden society, it's an unfortunately common experience. If the guy you see actually pays attention to what you're saying when you're telling him about your day at work or the plot of your favorite movie, it's a good sign he's truly interested in what goes on in your head and your life. If he brings these things up in future conversations, you can be sure you're on his mind often, and it can be one of the signs he's catching feelings. If he has still yet to take the relationship to the next level, he may be nervous or afraid of rejection from you. But when he wants to spend time listening to you, it can be a positive sign that he may be falling in love.

His Body Language Speaks Volumes

What about physical signs of attraction when people fall in love? A guy who is falling in love may make more eye contact and gaze into your eyes more frequently and not show discomfort doing so. Eye contact can be a great thing for you to prioritize, too! Both women and men tend to make eye contact when they’re attracted to someone. Maintaining eye contact can be a powerful form of connection. He may make other displays of affection, even in public, showing other signs of physical connection, such as wanting to hold hands or even just a touch on the arm or another sign of comfort and intimacy. This can be sign of physical attraction or of satisfaction in your sex life together, but their body language and physical touch can also be a sign of the warmth and affection that people who fall in love may feel for each other all the time. Women and men tend to want to be physically close to someone they’re attracted to or are beginning to fall in love with. This can be a good sign that they’re interested in you or may even be falling in love.

He Seems Genuinely Happy

If your guy wants to spend time with you, seems truly happy around you, and seems to view you as his respite, that's a clear indication of how much you mean to him and can be a great sign that he may have loving feelings for you. When he laughs at your jokes (even the cheesy ones), tries to make you smile, and relaxes when he's in your presence, he's showing you how he feels without speaking it aloud, and yet another of the signs he's catching feelings. His body language may also reflect his feelings. He may use open body language while talking with you, which can be a good sign that he feels comfortable and receptive with you.

He Goes Out Of His Way For You

Many men are conditioned not to talk about or acknowledge their emotions, especially those that make them feel vulnerable. That's why to know what a man is feeling and thinking, it can help to pay attention to how he acts. There may be physical actions he takes to let you know if he is afraid of rejection, is falling for you, or is just nervous around you. If he cares about you, you may notice him making an effort to do things for you; this can be a form of compassionate love. Pay attention if he goes out of his way to help you out with errands or responsibilities.

He Does Things To Make You Happy

In a healthy relationship, partners do things to make each other happy. This can be a definite sign that he cares about you and your feelings. A person may go out of their for someone else if they’re just a friend, but this extra effort may also signify something deeper, such as the idea that he may be open to falling in love with you or is possibly slowly falling for you. Perhaps he wants to spend his free time doing things with you that you enjoy. Maybe he’s spending time learning more about your interests. He could be paying close attention to what makes you happy and making an effort to support those things. Even if he has a busy schedule, he may doing little things to boost your happiness and build a deeper bond with you. These may be signs of friendship but could also be subtle signs that a man is falling for you. Either way, making each other happy can be an important part of a healthy relationship, as can making each other a better person.

He Introduces You

If the guy you're dating has taken the initiative to introduce you to his family, friends, and other people close to him, this may be an obvious sign that he’s open to publically acknowledging that you’re in his life. If a man is falling for you, he may want you the meet others he cares about, which can be a way of showing that he wants you in his life, even if he's keeping his emotions vague. When men fall for a partner, they may want to have them be part of more areas of his life. He probably feels very confident that you’ll make a good impression (not that impressions are the most important thing, of course)! He may discuss feelings and hesitations he's reluctant to bring up with you directly with other people he's close to in his life. If you get the indication that you're a frequent topic of conversation among your guy and his inner circle of close friends, it can be a strong sign of your importance to him and another of the signs he's catching feelings for you.

He Talks About A Future With You

This one regarding future plans is a little tricky, but if it's present along with the other behaviors listed above, then it could be a sign a man is falling for you and is thinking of a long term relationship. If you notice him talking about the potential of a future with you, but not committing to any solid plans, he might be testing out the idea to become comfortable with it. When men talk about a future with you, they may be falling in love, see a future with you, and want to talk about whether you want the same things and feel the same way. There may be a good chance that he’s serious about you. After all, few people want to make future plans with someone they don’t envision themselves spending time with.

He Acts Hot Then He Acts Cold

What if a guy falls for you but then acts distant? Dealing with mixed signals can be stressful and emotionally draining. You may find yourself preoccupied with thoughts of the relationship or wondering if you should break it off to spare yourself heartache down the line, even if the man is falling for you now. If you notice the types of behavior listed above and you genuinely care for the guy, then try to give him some time and space.

What makes a man fall for someone and then act cold? Every person is unique, so it’s hard to give a definite answer. Some guys may get scared; other guys may not continue feeling the way they did initially; for others, the timing may not be right. There are many possibilities. You could try asking him how he’s feeling. You could also try to give him enough space to work his feelings out on his own. He might feel scared at first at the idea of falling in love and commitment and what that may mean. This attitude may give him the security needed to commit to love once and for all. Taking care of yourself is important—as is making an effort not to play games. So, if he’s not sure about the relationship, giving both of you space to may be helpful for you and him.

A word of caution: even if a man is falling for you or falling in love with you, some men can get stuck in a holding pattern where they seem permanently unwilling to commit. They may be afraid of rejection, maybe past experiences with other women have left them feeling insecure or other experiences have made emotional fragility an issue, or maybe it's something else. If you've been dating for a long time and you're looking to settle down, but the guy you're with is still hesitant about admitting his true feelings, making future plans, and committing to you, these can be warning signs that he’s not ready or willing to move onto another level of the relationship. In this case, you might consider giving a lot of thought into whether or not to continue the relationship. He may not be your knight in shining armor. Research shows that this kind of love avoidance can persist unless treatment is sought by the person displaying it. 

Conclusion

What if a man is falling for you but then seems to retreat? Being on the receiving end of mixed signs or signals can make even the most confident person question themselves, especially if you care about the person you are dating. Getting advice from a third party with professional relationship counseling and mental health experience can give you a clear picture of the situation and help you understand more about falling in love, healthy relationships, and ways to handle your personal experience.

A therapist who is a relationship expert can work with you to identify any negative emotional or behavioral patterns that may be holding you back or making you or someone you know afraid to fall in love or hesitant to commit to building a strong connection. A therapist is much more than a relationship coach—they are a licensed mental health professional—but can help guide you to approach your relationship in healthy ways. Turn to BetterHelp for affordable, convenient online therapy to help you with relationships, individual support, or mental health care. You can find more related reading about the benefits of online therapy through BetterHelp.

Other Commonly Asked Questions

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How long does it take a man to fall in love?

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What makes a man fall deeply in love with a woman?

What are the stages of falling in love?

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