What Is Deep Love?

Updated November 19, 2021
Medically Reviewed By: Lauren Guilbeault

Does deep love sound like something from a fantasy? If you’ve been struggling in relationships, then you probably feel this way. You may even find yourself wondering, “Does deep love even exist?” While it’s not something that’s easy to come by or hold on to, deep love is something that you can find and enjoy in life.

Definition of Deep Love

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There is no concrete definition of deep love. You can find many different examples and definitions if you look around online, but this isn’t something that’s defined in the dictionary.

Part of what makes it so complicated to define is that there are multiple stages of love. The first stage is the one that most people associate with love. It’s the chemistry that we experience when we are in a new relationship. It’s the excitement that you feel and the way that you obsess over that person.

However, your relationship cannot last in that initial stage forever. As your relationship continues to grow and your love begins to deepen, there will be changes that you experience along the way. This change either leads people to end their relationship in search of those feelings they had during the infatuation stage, or grow into a new deeper level of love.

Signs of Deep Love

Deep love isn’t going to look exactly the same for every couple, so don’t get caught up in comparing your relationship to someone else’s. Here are some symptoms of deep love that you can watch for:

  • You accept their flaws. When your relationship first started you were most likely blinded to the flaws that your significant other had. You thought they were perfect. But, as your relationship has matured, you are able to see their flaws. However, you accept them anyway, just as they are.
  • You want to share everything with them. When you experience deep love for someone, you want to share every part of your life with them. You want to recall the events of your day to them. And you want to be as much a part of their life as you want them to be in yours.
  • You share your secrets with them. When you truly love someone, you begin to trust them with your biggest secrets and the things that you wouldn’t tell just anyone. You reach a new level of comfort.
  • Your “dates” don’t have to be anything special. When your love and relationship mature, you don’t care quite as much about what you’re doing with the other person just as long as you’re spending time together. You might find that you’re perfectly happy just sitting next to them on the couch.
  • You feel a sense of protection over the other person. When you really love someone deeply, you want to protect them. You hate to see them hurting and want to help make their life easier.
  • You are honest with the other person. Healthy relationships aren’t built on lies, and when you truly love someone, you won’t want to break their trust.

The Benefits of Deep Love

It seems like the benefits of deep love are obvious, right? You have someone who you love, and who loves you in return. There is someone standing by your side, supporting you through the difficult times, and celebrating with you during the good. There’s a person to go through life with so you won’t be alone. But scientists have found additional benefits to deep love.

Health Benefits

An article in the Harvard Gazette titled “When Love and Science Double Date” describes the benefits of love after the initial infatuation stage wears off. It says, “That period is followed by an upsurge in the hormone oxytocin, a neurotransmitter associated with a calmer, more mature category of love. The oxytocin helps cement bonds, heighten immune function, and begin to confer the health benefits found in married couples who are inclined to live longer, have lesser strokes and heart attacks, be less depressed, and have increased survival rates from major surgery and cancer.”

As you can see, when you experience deep love you might also experience multiple other health benefits. There is also evidenceshowing that there arehealth benefits that couples in love experience:

  1. Visit the doctor less often
  2. Less chance of experiencing substance abuse or depression
  3. Lower blood pressure
  4. Reduced anxiety
  5. Less pain
  6. Greater ability to manage stress
  7. Fewer colds
  8. Heal faster
  9. Live longer
  10. Happier

These are some great benefits to experience, while also having someone to share life with. But the trick is to experience all these benefits you have to find real love, not just the puppy love that you have at the start of a relationship.

Financial Benefits

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Not only does being in love come with a long list of health benefits. There are also practical benefits like finances. Marriage brings financial benefits, such as tax savings, savings on healthcare, and tax-free marital gifts.

However, if you don’t have deep love for another person, it’s best not to get married. Don’t think that you’re going to do yourself a favor financially by getting married. Yes, there are some financial benefits that you might experience, but getting married when you aren’t truly in love can lead you down a difficult path. And if you aren’t in love, the chance of your marriage surviving is not going to be great. Divorce is an expensive and painful process that you likely don’t want to go through. Therefore, you shouldn’t rush into marriage if you aren’t actually in love.

How Do You Love Deeply?

If the idea of deep love excites you, you might want to know how to love someone deeply. The important thing to understand is that deep love is not something that can be forced. It’s true that love is a choice, but you can’t force the level of deepness that your relationship reaches. However, there are some things that you can do in order to encourage your relationship in that direction.

Try New Things Together

When you try new activities together, you create additional bonds with one another. This also helps you to create new memories that only the two of you will share. This is a great way to grow your relationship and help the two of you to feel even more connected.

Show Your Partner Love in the Way That Matters to Them

In the popular book, The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman, it’s described that there are five different ways that people experience and feel love. When you identify the way that your significant other feels love the most, you can use it to shower them with love and affection.

The five different love languages include:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Acts of service
  • Spending quality time together
  • Gifts
  • Physical touch

Take an Interest in What They Like

It’s perfectly normal for you not to have everything in common with your partner. It would actually be odd and most likely boring if you did. But just because you don’t enjoy all of the same things, it doesn’t mean you can’t do them together.

If your partner has a hobby or interest that you just don’t get, participate in it with them anyway. And make sure that you have a good attitude while you do. This will go a long way in showing them that you love them. It will also help you to understand and learn more about the person that you love.

Spend Time Laughing Together

Everyone likes to laugh. You’ve probably heard that “laughter is the best medicine.” It’s great for your health, but it’s also good for your relationship.

A study by the University of Kansas found that humor is an important part of romantic attraction. While you shouldn’t build your entire relationship on pure attraction, it is an important part of a healthy relationship. So, find ways to laugh together.

When Love Hits a Rough Patch

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Deep love can be a great thing. However, it doesn’t come without its own challenges. Love is complicated and faces many ups and downs. It can be hard to keep the feelings of love in your relationship when you are dealing with the difficulties of life. This includes things like work stress, paying bills, and raising children.

If you start to feel like the love is gone, it doesn’t mean that it really is. It just might be time to reach out for some help and guidance from a therapist. Couples counseling can help you learn how to overcome the challenges you and your partner are facing, and learn to find the deep love that you have for another once again.

Deeper Love With BetterHelp

Studies have shown that online therapy platforms are useful resources for providing couples counseling to people who are experiencing relationship difficulties, or who want to strengthen their healthy relationship. For example, in a report published in the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy, researchers stated that couples in both satisfied and potentially troubled relationships could benefit from online therapy. The study makes note of the increased accessibility provided by online couples counseling, including an increase in scheduling ease and cost-efficiency, and a reduction in geographical and stigma-related barriers. Online therapy is widely considered a more flexible alternative to face-to-face therapy, remotely providing resources to help couples properly communicate and further bond.

As mentioned above, if you are dealing with complicated feelings related to your relationship, online therapy can help. With online couples counseling through BetterHelp, you’ll have the option of reaching out to that therapist any time you want, day or night. If you’re struggling to communicate with your partner, have a question, or just want to chat, you can message your therapist, and they’ll get back to you as soon as they can. BetterHelp’s counselors can help you and your loved one regain your deep connection. Read below for reviews, from people who have experienced similar issues.

Counselor Reviews

“Izabela is AMAZING. Since I’ve started working with her I have begun to sort out my emotions revolving around past traumas, I’ve become more aware of what I’m feeling and my communication skills have improved immensely, which has really improved my relationship with my husband.”

“Mark has been extremely attentive to everything that I disclose. He’s not only provided me support but insight and encouragement to let me know I’m on a good path to self improvement and discovery. Furthermore, Mark has provided me valuable insight on my romantic relationship, specifically with learning more about the relationship dynamics and how to build a stronger, healthier relationship.”

Conclusion

Rough patches don’t mean you need to throw in the towel, and they don’t mean that you are no longer in love. A therapist can help you identify where the struggles are and the best way for you to address them and move forward in a healthy relationship. Take the first step today.

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