What Is Deep Love?

Medically reviewed by Majesty Purvis, LCMHC
Updated May 14, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Does deep love sound like a fantasy? If you've struggled in relationships, you might feel this way about deep connections. However, genuine, open, and healthy romantic relationships can benefit mental health and are possible to obtain for those who dedicate themselves to finding them.

deep love with someone
Deep love takes time to build

The definition of deep love

There may not be a concrete definition of deep love for everyone. You may find many examples and descriptions online or from friends, but the term is not defined in the dictionary. Similes for deep love may include: 

  • Intense love 
  • Twin flames 
  • Soulmate 
  • Healthy relationships 
  • Unconditional love 
  • Healthy love 
  • Lasting love 
  • Connection 

In many cases, people can experience multiple stages of love. The first stage is often called the honeymoon phase, puppy love, or infatuation. It's the chemistry that you might experience in a new or budding relationship. You might feel excitement, obsession, and intensity when together. 

However, your relationship may not sustain early love forever. Other stages could occur as your relationship grows and your love begins to deepen. People may leave their relationship searching for the infatuation stage or stay in their relationship and find commitment, long-term connection, and satisfaction. 

Signs you’re feeling “deep love”

Lasting love may not look the same for every couple, so try not to compare your relationship to others. There are a few signs you may be in the deep love stage, including the following.

You accept their flaws 

When your relationship started, you may not have seen the flaws in your significant other or decided to ignore them. If your relationship has progressed to a lasting love stage, you might accept their flaws, even though you see them and understand how you and your partner differ. Though power couples in tabloids and social media may seem perfect for each other, they too exert effort to accept the strengths and weaknesses of their partner to make the relationship strong.

You enjoy quality time together

You may find that it doesn't matter what you're doing with your partner and that you enjoy their company and love spending quality time together. If this is the case, it may signify that you're deeply in love with them. 

The benefits of deep love

Many people find benefits in loving deeply and healthily. Having someone to stand by your side and support you through difficult times can be valuable. Below, see studies about the benefits of love and healthy connections. 

Health benefits

An article in the Harvard Gazette titled "When Love and Science Double Date" describes the benefits of love after the initial infatuation stage wears off. They state, "that [infatuation] period is followed by an upsurge in the hormone oxytocin, a neurotransmitter associated with a calmer, more mature category of love. Oxytocin helps cement bonds, heighten immune function, and begin to confer the health benefits found in married couples who are inclined to live longer, have fewer strokes and heart attacks, be less depressed, and have increased survival rates from major surgery and cancer."

When you experience deep love, you might also experience multiple other health benefits. The following are health benefits that couples in love might experience:

  • Visiting the doctor less often
  • A lower chance of experiencing substance use dependency or depression
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Reduced anxiety
  • Less pain
  • A more significant ability to manage stress
  • Fewer colds
  • Faster healing 
  • Longer life span 

If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at (800) 662-4357 to receive support and resources. Support is available 24/7.

you love life

Financial benefits

Not only does being in love potentially come with a long list of health benefits but there are also financial benefits. Marriage brings tax savings, savings on healthcare, and tax-free marital gifts.

How do you love deeply?

If deep love excites you, you might want to know how to love someone deeply. However, love cannot often be forced. Love may sometimes be a choice, but love is an emotion, and a close connection is often formed over time. If you want to improve your connection with your partner, you might try the following activities. 

Try new things together

When you try new activities together, you might create a new type of bond with your partner. Consider bringing along a camera to document the memories. Some couples enjoy scrapbooking or creating photo albums to remember their moments together. 

Utilize your partner’s love language

In the popular book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, there are five different ways that people experience love. When you identify how your significant other feels love, you may use it to shower them with love and affection. Additionally, they can consider your love language to show you love. 

The five love languages include:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Acts of service
  • Spending quality time together
  • Gifts
  • Physical touch

Take an interest in what they enjoy

You might not have everything in common with your partner. However, your differences could still bring you together. Consider taking an interest in or asking your partner about their hobbies and goals. 

If your partner has an interest you don't understand, try to be open-minded as long as it aligns with your boundaries and values. Try to ask open-ended questions and be engaged as you participate in the activity to show interest and care. 

Spend time laughing together

You may have heard the saying, "Laughter is the best medicine." Based on studies, laughter can benefit your health and relationships. A study by the University of Kansas found that humor is essential in romantic attraction. While you might not build your entire relationship on attraction, it can be an integral part of a healthy relationship. Try to find ways to laugh together and reduce stress. 

love with another person

Deep love takes time to build

When love hits a rough patch

Deep love can feel meaningful and powerful. However, relationships may still experience challenges when love is present. Love can be complicated, and life's changes may bring ups and downs. Stressors like bills, raising children, or finding time to spend together can feel like roadblocks. 

Consider couples counseling if you start to feel a lack of love or connection. Counseling may support you as you learn techniques for overcoming challenges and increasing love in your relationships. Consider online therapy if you and your partner struggle to find time to commute to an appointment. 

Studies have shown that online therapy platforms are valuable resources for couples or individuals experiencing relationship difficulties who want to increase healthy patterns. For example, in a report by the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy, researchers stated that couples could benefit from online therapy. Online therapy is widely considered a more flexible alternative to face-to-face therapy, remotely providing resources and allowing couples to attend therapy on their schedule. With online couples counseling through a platform like BetterHelp for individuals or Regain for couples, you can be matched with a counselor that meets your preferences. 

Counselor reviews

“Izabela is AMAZING. Since working with her, I have begun to sort out my emotions revolving around past traumas. I’ve become more aware of my feelings, and my communication skills have improved immensely, which has improved my relationship with my husband.”

“Mark has been extremely attentive to everything that I talk. He’s not only supported me but insight and encouragement to let me know I’m on a good path to self-improvement and discovery. Furthermore, Mark has provided me valuable insight into my romantic relationship, specifically with learning more about the relationship dynamics and how to build a stronger, healthier relationship.”


Deep love may be referred to as unconditional love or a soulmate connection. Although it can take time and effort to find this connection, it is often possible. If you and your partner want to learn therapeutic and research-based techniques to manage stress and conflict in your relationship as it grows, consider reaching out to a counselor for further guidance. 
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