More couples are partaking in premarital counseling online to help strengthen their relationship and prepare for a healthy marriage. Could you and your partner benefit from online premarital counseling?
So, you found the perfect partner and now you are ready to get married. Or, are you? Have you thought about premarital counseling? Everyone has heard it before. The age-old adage "marriage is hard work," or the telling, but perhaps not quite accurate, statistic "over 50% of marriages end in divorce." If you and your significant other want to make sure you are doing everything in your power to create a foundation for a strong, stable, and fulfilling marriage, then online premarital counseling or online relationship counseling may be right for you. At the very least, it will help you two get to know each other better. You want to know as much as you can about the person you are planning to spend the rest of your life with, right?
Essentially, premarital counseling is counseling with the goal of improving communication between you and your partner and making it more effective, especially when discussing topics that you may tend to avoid or that could lead to conflict. If you decide to partake in premarital counseling online services with a licensed therapist, you can expect to experience benefits, including:
What premarital counseling or couples counseling with a licensed therapist open up is an opportunity to get everything out in the open so that, when you enter into marriage, there is less chance of conflict or marital stress. And the best part is, there are a wide variety of licensed therapists and online premarital counseling areas of focus that you and your partner can partake in on your own time and in the privacy of your own home. A premarital counselor is a neutral party that can provide a safe environment in which to discuss potentially difficult conversations. They are professionally trained to assist in guiding the conversation and navigating the discussion, without offering direct advice or interjecting solutions. Rather, they assist you and your partner in coming to agreements or reaching compromises on your own, or can gently offer perspective if a stalemate arises on certain topics/issues that may have surfaced.
Some of the topics and issues typically discussed in premarital counseling include:
It may be difficult to discuss the idea of premarital counseling or couples therapy when things are going well, but putting in the effort to ensure you have the tools you need beforehand will get you off to great start. Think of a time when you have assembled a piece of furniture. Did you just jump right in and start putting the pieces together in a haphazard way with whatever was within reach? I doubt it. More often than not, people read through the instructions and assemble all the tools they need ahead of time to ensure success and avoid frustration. While there is no instruction manual available for entering into a marriage, licensed therapists can help empower couples with good communication habits and healthy ways to address disagreements when they do occur. They will have the experience to know which topics among married couples commonly cause discord and pitfalls to avoid. Also, it is impossible to know everything about anyone − partner included. Premarital counseling allows both partners to explore and learn more about the person they have chosen to build a life with.
The counselor, therapist, or relationship coach can give you the conflict resolution skills that will help you turn those unfortunate disagreements into resolutions. One peer reviewed study showed that distressed couples engaged in significantly more negative cognitive and problem-solving acts, and more negative reciprocity in communications was evident, when compared to non-distressed couples. This makes a good case for being proactive and discussing such things in a state of non-distress. Then, if and when the time comes, you’ll both be well equipped and knowledgeable in the area of conflict management.
An evaluation of the effectiveness of a premarital relationship counseling service showed that the average person who participated in a premarital program was significantly better off afterwards than 79% of non-participants. In other words, participants experienced about a 30% increase in measures of outcome success. These findings suggest that premarital programs are generally effective in producing immediate and short‐term gains in interpersonal skills and overall relationship quality and that these improvements are significantly better than nonintervention couples in these areas.
The cost of online premarital counseling is much cheaper than traditional face-to-face premarital counseling or couples therapy. One reason is because the therapist does not have to pay for an office to work out of, staff for that office, utilities and other expenses for the office. The therapist or counselor also does not have to spend money on gas and other travel expenses when they do online premarital counseling. Therefore, they save money and pass that savings on to you. The cost of traditional premarital counseling sessions average about $150 to $300 per hour, depending on the location. Online premarital counseling or online therapy averages about $50 to $75 per session. This is a drop in the bucket compared to the financial, emotional, and mental costs of divorce. Investing this small amount in your marriage before it starts can help build a strong foundation and equip you with the skills necessary to keep that word out of your vocabulary and in the dictionary where it belongs.
A simple online search for "best online premarital counseling” or “couples counseling” can help you get started. However, not all online premarital counseling resources are created equal. Take your time to find one that provides good structure and guidance coming from a reputable source. Many sites encourage clients to leave reviews, and reading through those can give you a great idea if you have found a dependable site.
There are many different online therapy resources to choose from so you should really do your homework before choosing. An online resource such as BetterHelp.com is a great place to start your search. You will be able to tell a bit about yourself and what you would like to get out of premarital counseling. In addition, you will be matched with a licensed counselor, therapist, or relationship coach who can provide guidance, support, and knowledge to help you and your partner prepare for marriage - all strictly confidential and online.
Marriage will be one of the most rewarding - and sometimes the most challenging - experiences of your life. So, do not take yours and your partner's relationship for granted. Instead, consider partaking in relationship therapy services or premarital counseling online to do what you can to make sure your marriage has a strong and stable foundation on which to grow, for many years to come.
With online premarital counseling or any kind of online therapy, for that matter, you will receive all the benefits of traditional counseling with added flexibility. You can choose to make an online appointment that is convenient for you by video, phone, or online chat. Your commute time will be zero and you and your partner can connect to a mental health expert from our network of over 25,000 licensed therapists from the comfort of your own home. It can also be a more affordable option for reasons mentioned earlier in this article. There are studies that suggest that couples who engage in premarital counseling or couples therapy before marriage can reduce their likelihood of divorce. What better reason to connect with one of our licensed mental health professionals today?
“Working with Adam has been extremely positive for my fiancé and I. We were seeing a counselor in-person prior to the pandemic, and I've been blown away by the difference. Adam is able to speak both my and my partner's languages, is pleasant to work with, and has provided us with actionable guidance that has brought about significant change in our relationship.”
“Dr. Farago has been an excellent counselor. She helped my wife and I through a number of issues and helped us better understand each other prior to and after our wedding. Dr. Farago was great at listening and providing feedback, insights, and gave us tools that have made both my wife and I happier in our marriage as a result.”
People commonly ask these questions about the service:
Can you get married without premarital counseling?
Of course! While in person and online premarital counseling can be a fantastic opportunity to address any issues you and your partner may have before marriage, work on your communication, and stock up on essential relationship skills, it is definitely not a requirement for getting married unless you are having a religious ceremony that requires you to complete a premarital counseling program or marriage prep class.
Plus, if you and your spouse do find yourselves having issues after getting married and consider seeking therapy, you always have the option of attending marriage counseling or couples counseling sessions with a licensed family and marriage therapist.
How long is most premarital counseling?
This depends on your goals as a couple and the extend of the issues you’d like to address. On average, though, family therapists and premarital counselors agree that anywhere between 10 to 15 weeks of in person or online premarital counseling should be enough for a couple that’s about to get married.
Can you do premarital counseling long distance?
Yes, you can do premarital counseling long distance with online counseling sessions. Just like traditional counseling, online therapy creates a safe space for couples to work on their communication skills and conflict resolution strategies. Platforms like ReGain and BetterHelp allow you to connect with licensed therapists with specialized training in couples counseling or family and relationship therapy from wherever you are that has a strong internet connection. ReGain is considered one of the best online premarital counseling services in the market today. Perks of attending an online premarital counseling or online relationship coaching session include:
What is asked during premarital counseling?
During your initial premarital counseling assessment at your first session, your licensed marriage and family therapist will ask you and your partner a series of questions to get to know you better and help establish the goals for therapy. These goals might include conflict resolution, figuring out family relationships, improving communication, working on your mental health as a couple, setting realistic expectations, discussing finances, sex, marriage roles, desire for children, etc. This comprehensive assessment will help your premarital counselor determine any areas where you might need to work on and create an strategic road map for therapy.
Does premarital counseling reduce divorce rates?
Premarital counseling doesn’t guarantee happily ever after, but it does provide couples with an opportunity to address problems that could potentially lead to a divorce, so when inevitable conflict arise, they can have the tools and conflict resolution skills to get them through the tough times.
What should I ask my fiance before marriage?
Marrying someone you know well is always better than waiting until after the wedding to start asking important questions. Think about it: if, for example, you’ve always wanted children and find out after marriage that your partner doesn’t, this could be a potential source of conflict and even divorce down the line. The same goes with things like money and finances, culture and religion, family dynamics, and more.
Premarital couples therapy is a great place to ask these difficult questions and discuss your values and beliefs. But if you can’t or aren’t interested in attending in person or online marriage counseling to work on your relationship skills, consider exploring some of the following questions with your partner before marriage: