The effects of alcoholic parents on children
Although the parents are the most obviously negatively affected, children of alcoholic parents can be heavily impacted as well. The effects of growing up around alcohol and drug abuse are sometimes so profound that they last a lifetime, affecting the way kids-turned-adults see themselves and others, how they interact in relationships, and more.
Alcoholism is a pattern of alcohol substance abuse where a person has a difficulty controlling their drinking. It's a mental health condition where the person is often preoccupied with alcohol. They may continue to use alcohol even though it causes problems, whether with family, their physical health, their personal or professional relationships, or difficulty holding down a job. Excessive alcohol use can also indicate an additional underlying substance abuse problem or a mental health issue.
How alcohol use disorder affects families
Families dealing with alcoholism have been shown to experience problems, such as:
- Lack of communication
- Little to no structure in the home
- Increased conflict
- Subpar parenting
- Isolation from the community
- Financial issues
- Trust Issues
Having your trust broken once or twice can often be mended with relative ease and time. But when your trust is broken daily, it takes much more to heal the wound. Many alcoholics will turn to denial, lying, or keeping secrets to hide their addiction. As a result, children who have grown up in such an environment tend to have trust issues.
How alcoholic parents can affect their children’s adulthood
Many children from alcoholic parents will carry trust issues with them into adulthood, which can affect their personal and professional relationships.
Normalization and acceptance
Alcohol is a drug – pure and simple. However, it doesn't carry the same kind of stigma or social repulsion that other drugs like cocaine or meth carry. Alcohol is widely accepted in society even though alcohol abuse is prevalent. It's often the first thing people go for when they are at a social gathering. Some children witness their mom or dad drinking every day, sometimes several times a day.,. As a result, many children have a skewed image of what "normal" is.
Due to the alcohol abuse, the children may have also had a physically, mentally, or emotionally abusive childhood, not knowing what a harmonious and safe household looks like. Children will more likely carry this contorted view with them into their adulthood, and many will end up feeling lied to and betrayed when they realize that drinking is not considered normal in other families.
Impulsiveness and development of alcohol addiction
Children of alcoholics will often impulsively make a choice or respond to a situation without thinking through the consequences or considering other options. Ultimately, this means that they may spend a lot of time trying to either fix the problems or they may cover up the consequences.
Children who are raised by a parent with an alcohol addiction are also at a higher risk of developing an alcohol addiction themselves – and the chances are high. There is a 50% chance that they will develop an alcohol addiction later on in their own life. Among those abusing alcohol, people who are genetically predisposed to alcoholism have an even higher risk of developing an alcohol use disorder.
Although people can inherit alcoholic tendencies, the development of an alcohol use disorder is also dependent on social and environmental factors. If you have more than one relative with an alcohol addiction or other substance use disorder, you may have inherited the genes that put you at risk. The more blood-related family a person has with an alcohol problem, the higher the risk there is of alcohol abuse.
Perceived victimhood
Children of alcoholics have a hard time identifying the role that their choices play in the evolution of their lives and relationships. Instead, they often blame the people around them for the consequences of their choices. Because they have a difficult time acknowledging their mistakes, they often repeat them since they are unable to learn from them and make better choices next time.
Relationships
From early on, many children of alcoholic parents have been exposed to a slated view of what a healthy relationship looks like, whether as a family unit, or the relationship between their parents. And like the other factors, children of alcoholic parents have a higher chance to bring that picture of what a "normal" relationship looks like into their own adult relationships.
Similar to having trust issues, many children who experience alcoholism in the family have difficulty forming intimate relationships. Trust issues and a lack of self-esteem make it difficult for them to allow someone to get close enough to have a trusting, close relationship.
Many adult children of alcoholics consciously or subconsciously lose themselves in their relationships with others, sometimes finding themselves attracted to alcoholics or other compulsive personalities, such as workaholics, who are emotionally unavailable. Adult children may also form enabling and co-dependency relationships with others who need their help or need to be rescued, to the extent of neglecting their own needs. If they place the focus on the overwhelming needs of someone else, they don't have to look at their own difficulties and struggles.
Here are some of the effects that alcoholic parents can have on their children’s ability to form relationships.
Approval seeking
Children of alcoholics may become people pleasers who are easily devastated if someone is not happy with them. They may live in constant fear of any kind of criticism. Perhaps to avoid criticism or the anger of their alcoholic parent, many children from homes having alcohol and drug abuse issues become super responsible or perfectionists, and can become overachievers or workaholics. Others may go in the opposite direction and repeat the same negative and destructive behaviors they witnessed during childhood.
Self-judgment and low self-esteem
Some adult children of alcoholics find it difficult to give themselves a break. If they had a tumultuous upbringing, they often don't feel adequate when comparing themselves to others and feel that they are never good enough. They may have little self-worth and low self-esteem and can develop deep feelings of inadequacy. Children of an alcoholic parent may find themselves thinking they are different from other people and therefore are not good enough. Consequently, they may avoid social situations, have difficulty making friends, and isolate themselves. Many adult children of alcoholics take themselves too seriously, and can be their own worst critics, leading to anxiety, depression, and social isolation.
Fear of abandonment
Along with the broken promises and lack of trust comes a fear of abandonment, where they fear that partners or friends may abandon them at any time. Much of this has to do with being emotionally abandoned as a child. With an abandonment issue, the difference between being emotionally versus physically abandoned is hazy. The feeling of being abandoned takes precedence over the nuances.
Fear of authority figures
Having the fear of authority figures is two-fold. First, there is the fear of authority figures because their parents – as the most impactful authority figures during childhood – placed the child in fear in what was supposed to be the safest and most loving place in their world - the home. Second, there is the fear of authority figures because chances are the children were witness to police, judges, child safety personnel, and others each time their parents were breaking the law due to their alcohol addiction. Children will almost always stay on the side of their parents, no matter how difficult or abusing the household is. And because of that, they will more likely take that perspective and their subconscious fear into their adulthood.
Getting help
Whether you have questions about alcoholism, the effects of alcoholic parents on children, if you struggle with alcoholism yourself, or if you have questions on mental health or substance abuse in general, BetterHelp is always available to those in need of help. With BetterHelp, you can speak with a mental health professional 24/7, seven days a week. And research has shown that online therapy is not only effective in treating long-term exposure to stress, most people prefer it compared to traditional in-person counseling.
One form of therapy that studies have found productive for some children of alcoholic parents is called forgiveness therapy. Coined by Dr. Robert D. Enright in his book, Forgiveness Therapy (previously called Helping Clients Forgive, forgiveness therapy can help patients explore their feelings, rebuild their sense of safety, and release negative emotions based on their past. Studies have found that forgiving those who have hurt you can reduce depression, stress, anger, and hostility, and increase positive emotions. In turn, releasing those negative emotions can also reduce some physical health risks, such as heart disease. A professional counselor can help you determine if forgiveness therapy is the right option for you, or offer another form of counseling that will best fit your needs.
Takeaway
How does a mother with alcoholism affect a child?
A mother with alcoholism can significantly affect a child's life in various ways, posing substantial risks to the child's physical, emotional, and social well-being.
Some of the key impacts may include:
- Fetal alcohol spectrum disorders (FASDs): Drinking alcohol during pregnancy can lead to FASD, a group of conditions that involve physical and mental birth defects. These disorders can result in a range of physical, cognitive, and behavioral problems, including developmental delays, learning disabilities, and emotional difficulties.
- Emotional and behavioral issues: Children of mothers with alcohol dependence may experience emotional turmoil, anxiety, depression, and behavioral problems. Growing up in an unstable or unpredictable environment can contribute to these challenges.
- Risk of substance abuse: Children in such households may have a higher risk of developing substance use issues themselves, as they may perceive alcohol as a way to cope with their emotions or environment.
- Neglect and unsafe environments: A mother with alcoholism may struggle to provide a safe and nurturing environment for her child due to her addiction, potentially exposing the child to neglect, abuse, or unsafe conditions.
- Interpersonal relationships: The child may face difficulties in forming healthy relationships, as they may lack appropriate role models for social and emotional development.
To mitigate adverse childhood experiences, it's important to provide support and intervention for both the mother and the child. Children with exposure to alcoholism from a young age may have a higher risk of developing emotional or behavioral issues, but they can benefit from counseling and therapy to help them cope with such experiences.
What happens to the family of an individual with alcohol dependency?
Families affected by substance use disorders (SUDs) like alcoholism often experience significant challenges and disruptions in their lives due to the complexities of addiction. Alcoholism can profoundly impact the family environment, giving rise to a range of issues, including:
- Family dynamics: Alcoholism can alter family dynamics, leading to strained relationships, mistrust, and communication breakdowns. Family members may experience feelings of anger, guilt, and frustration.
- Emotional and behavioral patterns: Substance use disorders, such as alcoholism, negatively affect emotional and behavioral patterns within the family. Children and adults in alcoholic households may develop unhealthy coping mechanisms and struggle with emotional control.
- Financial and social consequences: Alcoholism can lead to financial strain and social isolation, as family members may attempt to cover up or enable the addicted individual's behavior.
- Poor outcomes for children: Children growing up in households with alcoholism are at a higher risk of experiencing neglect, abuse, and long-term emotional trauma. These adverse childhood experiences can lead to difficulties in their own lives, including an increased risk of developing SUDs themselves.
- Interference with family rituals: Alcoholism often interferes with family rituals and traditions, as gatherings may become tense or disrupted by the consequences of addiction.
While the challenges and impacts of alcoholism on families can be significant, individual outcomes can vary. Depending on the family dynamic, certain individuals may be more resilient or better able to cope with the issues created by alcoholism. It's important for families to seek support and assistance to manage addiction-related challenges.
What are 3 ways alcoholism can affect family members?
Alcohol use disorders can have a range of negative physical, emotional, and social effects on family members. Here are three ways alcoholism can affect family members:
- Emotional distress: Alcoholism can lead to increased stress, depression, anger, and anxiety in family members, as they may experience feelings of guilt or frustration in relation to the individual's addiction.
- Poor self-esteem: Family members may experience low self-esteem due to their inability to help the addicted individual or be exposed to criticism and judgment.
- Dysfunctional behavior: The family environment may become unpredictable, leading to poor communication, a lack of support, and dysfunctional behavior patterns among family members.
While alcoholics tend to be isolated from their families due to shame and denial, some alcoholic parents learn to accept their disease and find ways to stay connected with their families. Mental health services can provide support and guidance to help families cope with the challenges of addiction.
What are the risk factors for children of parents with alcoholism?
Many factors can contribute to the onset of alcoholism in parents and its effects on children, including:
- Trauma: Prior experience of trauma or adversity may increase the risk of developing an alcohol use disorder.
- Social and cultural factors: The availability of alcohol and social norms around drinking can influence the likelihood of developing an addiction.
- Mental health problems: People with mental health challenges may be more vulnerable to developing an alcohol use disorder.
- Family history: A family history of addiction can increase the risk for children, as they may be exposed to genetic or environmental factors that influence substance use.
- Financial instability: Poverty and financial strain can increase alcohol use, as people may turn to alcohol as a form of escapism.
While there is no one-size-fits-all solution for coping with alcoholism, understanding the risk factors can help families develop strategies to mitigate its effects. Educating children about addiction and providing healthy outlets for coping with stress can be beneficial in safeguarding them from developing an alcohol use disorder themselves. Additionally, connecting parents with treatment services can aid in recovery and provide support for the whole family.
What is the syndrome when parents drink alcohol?
Fetal alcohol spectrum disorder is a range of physical, behavioral, and cognitive challenges that can occur in a child when their mother drinks alcohol during pregnancy. It is caused by the effects of prenatal exposure to alcohol on the developing fetus.
FASD can lead to physical birth defects such as facial dysmorphology and heart problems, as well as a range of cognitive and behavioral problems, such as learning disorders, attention deficits, and difficulty with social interactions.
FASD is one of the leading preventable causes of birth defects in babies born to mothers who drink alcohol during pregnancy. As many as 1 in 1,000 babies in the US are estimated to have FASD, and many more may remain undiagnosed due to a lack of awareness about the disorder.
It is important for pregnant women to be aware of the risks of drinking alcohol during pregnancy and seek support or treatment if necessary. Educating parents on the effects of alcohol on fetal development can help prevent FASD and other health problems in children who are born to mothers who drink alcohol during pregnancy.
What happens to daughters of alcoholics?
Daughters of parents with alcoholism can be at risk for developing behavioral, emotional, and mental health challenges. They may experience a range of effects in their own lives due to growing up in an environment characterized by substance misuse.
Daughters of parents with alcohol dependency may find it difficult to cope with stress or manage their emotions, leading to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as drug or alcohol use. They may also develop approval-seeking behaviors or a need for control, as well as feelings of guilt, shame, and poor self-esteem.
Additionally, some daughters may find it difficult to form and maintain healthy relationships due to difficulties with trust. An adult child may develop an exaggerated sense of responsibility in relation to the care of other family members and feel compelled to fix problems they cannot control.
What are 6 effects of alcoholism?
Alcoholism, a chronic and often progressive disease, can have profound effects on both physical and mental well-being. Six significant effects include:
- Physical health: Chronic alcohol abuse can lead to a range of physical health issues, such as liver damage (cirrhosis), heart disease, high blood pressure, pancreatitis, and a weakened immune system.
- Mental health: Alcoholism is closely linked to mental health problems, including depression, anxiety disorders, and an increased risk of suicide. Alcohol can also impair cognitive function, leading to memory problems and impaired decision-making.
- Relationship problems: Alcoholism can strain relationships with family, friends, and colleagues due to erratic behavior, neglect, and emotional volatility.
- Financial consequences: The cost of alcohol addiction, including purchasing alcohol and addressing its consequences (e.g., legal issues and medical bills), can lead to severe financial strain.
- Legal issues: Alcohol-related offenses, such as DUIs, can result in legal problems, including fines, probation, and even incarceration.
- Social isolation: Alcoholism can lead to social isolation as individuals may withdraw from social activities and relationships.
How do you deal with a family member with alcohol use disorder?
Dealing with a family member who is struggling with alcoholism can be difficult and emotionally draining. It is important to approach the situation with compassion and understanding rather than judgment or blame.
Here are some tips for managing a family member's drinking:
- Seeking help and support: Connecting your loved one with treatment services or support groups can be beneficial in managing their drinking.
- Having honest conversations: Talking to the person about how their drinking is affecting you can help them become aware of its effects on their life and relationships.
- Setting boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries around acceptable behaviors can help the person understand what is and isn't acceptable.
- Educating yourself: Learning about the effects of alcoholism and its treatment can help you better understand your loved one's struggles and how to support them.
- Self-care: Taking care of your own mental health is essential when managing a family member's drinking problem. You can find healthy outlets for stress relief, such as exercise or meditation, and seek professional help if needed.
If you or someone you know is living with alcoholism, seeking help is crucial. Family therapy can provide a safe space to discuss issues and build healthier family dynamics. Resources are available through national associations and organizations, such as the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) and (AA).
The National Association for Alcoholism and Drug Abuse Counselors (NAADAC) provides resources, information, and referrals to counseling services and support programs. Many states also have free or low-cost alcohol and drug abuse helplines that can provide advice and assistance for individuals challenged by substance misuse.
What happens to people who are alcoholics?
Alcoholism is a chronic and progressive disease. People who have an alcohol dependency may also develop a tolerance to the effects of alcohol, leading to increased use of the substance and an inability to stop drinking even when it is causing them harm.
As alcoholism progresses, individuals can become dependent on alcohol and experience withdrawal symptoms if they try to quit or reduce their consumption. They may also experience physical and mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, and memory problems.
In its advanced stages, alcoholism can severely impair one's functioning in everyday life. It can lead to job loss, financial strain, legal problems, social isolation, and even death due to alcohol-related causes or other health complications.
How does alcohol affect the brain?
Alcohol has a direct effect on the brain, affecting its chemistry and structure. When consumed in excess, alcohol can impair executive function, judgment, memory, and motor skills. It can also lead to long-term cognitive decline and an increased risk of developing neurological diseases such as dementia.
Heavy alcohol consumption is linked to changes in areas of the brain related to learning, memory, decision-making, and stress response. Alcohol affects the neurotransmitters glutamate, GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid), serotonin, and dopamine, which are responsible for controlling mood and behavior. Alcohol use also reduces neuronal activity in the brain's prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for executive function and decision-making.
Long-term alcohol abuse can lead to a range of cognitive impairments, including difficulty processing information, impaired memory and learning capacity, and impaired judgment. Alcohol use may also lead to addiction, personality changes, depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues.
While the effects of alcohol on the brain are reversible in some cases with abstinence or moderation in drinking habits, it is important to note that the effects of long-term alcohol abuse can be permanent. Therefore, it is important to understand the risks associated with alcohol use and take steps to reduce its harmful effects.
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