Fear Of Imperfection: Atelophobia, Perfectionism, And How To Heal

Setting goals, striving for excellence, and exercising self-discipline can be features of a healthy attitude towards personal growth. Taken to the extreme, however, these attributes may characterize a trait known as perfectionism. Sometimes known as atelophobia, this fear of imperfection can interfere with mental health and well-being, making it difficult to cope when confronted with failure, mistakes, and imperfection. 

Here, we’ll explore perfectionism and offer practical guidance for overcoming damaging thought patterns. With a well-rounded understanding of how to overcome perfectionism, it may be possible to adopt a healthier attitude to self-growth and achievement.

Understanding atelophobia and perfectionism

Signs of perfectionism may include:

• Setting unrealistic expectations of oneself
• Lack of satisfaction with imperfect outcomes
• Exaggerated disappointment in oneself
• Feelings of unworthiness
• Anxiety about failing or disappointing others
• Defensiveness
• Unhealthy response to failure

One’s upbringing and early childhood experiences may play a role in the development of perfectionism. However, recent study has revealed that perfectionism is on the rise and may indicate a cultural influence, such as social media. 

Impact of perfectionism

Perfectionism has been widely studied in psychology and has been found to be associated with a number of negative mental health outcomes including depression, anxiety, and stress as well as eating disorders, obsessive-compulsive patterns, and poor performance.

Perfectionists may be prone to patterns of self-handicapping such as procrastination, self-neglect, or lack of effort. These maladaptive behaviors may give the perfectionist an excuse for poor performance, as they may blame poor outcomes on factors other than lack of ability. 

Perfectionism vs. striving for excellence

It may be important to distinguish perfectionism from the positive thought and behavior patterns associated with striving for excellence. While perfectionism may result in unhealthy thought patterns, healthy striving involves a positive, adaptive approach to overcoming obstacles and seeking self-improvement:

• Setting realistic, achievable goals
• Experiencing low levels of anxiety or fear of failure
• Deriving satisfaction from the process rather than just outcomes
• Displaying a healthy response to constructive criticism
• Framing mistakes as opportunities for improvement

Healing from perfectionism and fear of imperfection

If perfectionism is negatively impacting your thought or behavior patterns, you may find that reframing your thoughts surrounding your desire to achieve can be a healthy strategy in self-acceptance and love. Therapists frequently work with individuals struggling with perfectionism, helping them adopt healthier attitudes towards self-improvement. The following strategies can help individuals overcome fear of failure and perfectionist thinking.

Practice self-compassion

Because perfectionism can make it challenging to maintain confidence and self-esteem, overcoming perfectionism may involve cultivating a positive image of oneself and limiting negative self-talk. It may also help to focus on nurturing positive habits to replace self-sabotaging behaviors.

You might try to shift your focus from real or perceived failure and forgive yourself for past mistakes. Rather than dwelling on any negative feelings you may associate with failure, such as fear or embarrassment, you may instead frame it as a learning experience and embrace the opportunity for growth. 

Challenge negative thought patterns

Perfectionism may be understood as a series of unhelpful thought patterns, and learning to identify and challenge them can help mitigate its effects. When you become aware of perfectionistic thoughts, you can actively replace them with positive and productive ones. 

A cognitive behavioral therapist can help you recognize perfectionism and adopt a more mindful attitude towards self-talk through a method called cognitive restructuring. Through this process, you can learn to identify, evaluate, and challenge existing thought patterns, ultimately helping you avoid the cognitive distortions that characterize perfectionism.

Set realistic goals and expectations

Setting achievable goals and expectations may be crucial to overcoming perfectionism. It may help to self-reflect, recognize your limitations, and implement healthy boundaries for yourself. Consider being realistic about how much you can commit to so that you may avoid stress and burnout.

You might also try to avoid all-or-nothing thinking. Instead you might focus on small, incremental achievements that are attainable over a realistic period. You may be tempted to focus on the outcome. But you can divert this impulse by embracing the process and striving for progress rather than perfection. 

Embrace vulnerability and healthy risk-taking

A perfectionist may want to avoid the vulnerability associated with failure, which can make it difficult to take healthy risks. It may be necessary to adopt a positive attitude towards taking calculated risks, such as changing careers or moving. 

Rather than worrying about potential setbacks, you can try to cultivate a sense of pride in yourself for taking chances, making decisions, and maintaining forward momentum. If you have a pattern of avoiding risk due to fear of failure, you could take courage in learning to embrace healthy risk-taking and give yourself the opportunity to succeed.

Accept and learn from mistakes and setbacks

Though it can be upsetting to make mistakes, they are a normal part of the human experience—and are often vital to learning and growth. Mistakes can offer a valuable opportunity to critically evaluate oneself and create actionable solutions to make positive, informed choices in the future. 

While it can be helpful to acknowledge and reflect on past mistakes, consider trying to use those insights to enact meaningful change rather than dwell on regrets or engage in negative self-talk. You can be mindful of unhelpful thoughts that may occur when you experience setbacks, instead reframing your misstep as an opportunity for growth and learning.

Practice self-care and mental hygiene

Managing one’s mental health through self-care can help reduce instances of stress and anxiety often associated with perfectionism (along with any mental health conditions that may co-occur). Consistent self-care can help you break out of all-or-nothing thinking that may make it difficult to maintain progress towards your goals.

Thus, it may be essential to replace negative behavior patterns with healthy habits and coping mechanisms. This can involve exercise, restful sleep, a healthy diet, and mindfulness habits such as meditation or journaling. Consider using a habit tracker to help you visualize possibilities and limitations.

How mental health therapy can help

Therapists are mental health professionals trained to help individuals overcome perfectionist thinking and adopt healthier attitudes towards self-improvement. They can use evidence-based therapeutic techniques to help individuals overcome perfectionism and develop a more adaptive approach to personal development.

With a therapist, you can explore the origins of your fear of imperfection and work towards cultivating the self-compassion and confidence that accompanies healthy striving. They can offer healthy coping strategies for dealing with failure and setbacks, while being a source of guidance, perspective, and support.

Types of therapy for perfectionism

There are several therapies that can be helpful for managing your desire for perfection. Some therapists implement strategies and techniques from different types of therapy, offering an integrated approach to mental health treatment and personal growth.

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT involves using a therapeutic technique known as cognitive restructuring to help you develop healthier thought patterns. CBT has been found across multiple studies to be an effective treatment for perfectionism. 
• Mindfulness-Based CBT: A variation of CBT that incorporates mindfulness techniques, mindfulness-based CBT has been found to be an effective intervention for perfectionist thinking. These techniques involve decentering from unhelpful patterns of thought without judgment or paying attention. 
• Psychodynamic Therapy: Psychodynamic therapy is a form of therapy that explores how one’s past experiences may have influenced them and may be helpful for identifying the root causes of perfectionism. 

For those struggling with perfectionism, you might have an especially busy schedule, balancing work, family, and other commitments while putting immense pressure on yourself to complete them to the best of your abilities. In those cases, it may feel challenging to fit regular therapy appointments in as well. Online therapy may be worth considering for more convenient and flexible treatment. Many online platforms also allow you to choose video calls, phone calls, or in-app messaging based on your preference and availability.

Online CBT has been found to be just as effective as in-person therapy. A recent study assessed the effectiveness of online CBT for 1500 patients who exhibited symptoms of depression, panic disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder, and burnout. The results showed comparable outcomes between online treatment and face-to-face treatment, and patients reported high levels of satisfaction.

If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.