What To Do When A Guy Ignores You
No one likes being ignored, especially in a romantic context. Sensing that you’re not seen or heard can be perceived as a form of rejection, which research indicates can activate the same areas of the brain as physical pain. So when a guy you like doesn’t reach out, stops responding to your texts or calls, or otherwise shows signs that they’ve lost interest, what should you do? This article will walk you through a few different possible explanations for this type of behavior and give tips on ways you might handle it.
What does it mean to be ignored?
First, it could mean that he’s not interested in pursuing a connection with you and is avoiding the potential awkwardness of saying so. That said, it’s possible that there’s another valid reason. For example, if you’re frustrated that he’s seemingly giving you the “silent treatment” or not texting back as often as you’d like, you might consider the possibility that he simply has a different communication style, preferences, or schedule than you do. He might not like texting, or can’t be on his phone while he’s at work or school. This could be the reason you’re not getting many or any messages from him.
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Find your matchOr, he could simply prefer less communication with romantic partners. Perhaps you like to stay in touch more than the average person, or perhaps he likes to stay in touch less. Having an open conversation about your own emotional needs and how much of this type of attention you each need to feel prioritized can get you on the same page with someone you’re dating. Otherwise, read on for other possibilities and options.
What to do when a guy ignores you
If differing communication needs aren’t the root of the problem, there are some other possibilities to consider. These depend on who this person is to you: whether he’s a crush, or whether you’ve already begun a romantic connection by going on a date or two.
If he’s a crush
If you’re ignored by a guy you have a crush on, there are a few different possibilities when it comes to the motivations behind this behavior:
- He’s unaware of your interest.
- He’s nervous or shy.
- He’s not interested in a romantic connection.
First, it’s possible that he’s simply not aware that you’re interested in him.
Sometimes, what feels like overt romantic cues to one person may not even be noticed by another. For example, when a guy” ignores” you, what he may be thinking about could relate to a personal problem. If your crush seems to be ignoring you, it could be that he just doesn’t realize you like him. To change this dynamic, your best option is typically to let him know about your feelings more directly.
If you’ve expressed your feelings or otherwise know that your crush is aware of them, it’s possible that he likes you back but is nervous or worried about his own emotional well-being. It can be hard to work up the courage to talk to someone you like, and your crush could be feeling the pressure. Or, of course, it may be that he doesn’t feel the same way about you as you do about him. While it could save everyone a bit of time and energy if they expressed this instead of leaving you wondering, understand that it’s difficult for many people to be so straightforward and honest about their feelings.
If your crush is ignoring you, you have two main options to consider:
- express your feelings
- move on
Express your feelings
Being vulnerable can feel scary, but it’s often the only way to gain the potential opportunity to date this person. If you feel your crush has been intentionally ignoring you because he doesn’t know how you feel, you might consider telling him that you’re interested and see what happens. Even if he doesn’t feel the same way, you can take comfort from the fact that you were honest and put yourself out there.
Move on
If your crush knows you like them but they still seem to be ignoring you, it might be a sign that it’s time to move on. They may not feel the same way about you, or they could be involved with someone else, uncomfortable with your dynamic—such as if you’re colleagues in the same workplace—have a different sexual orientation, or have some other reason they don’t want to have constant contact or pursue a relationship. In this case, you may want to accept the circumstances and move on.
If you’ve been on a date(s)
The experience of a person ignoring you after you’ve been on a date with them is colloquially referred to as “ghosting”. It means that the person seems to have disappeared without a trace because they haven’t contacted you since, which can be a confusing, frustrating, and hurtful experience—especially if you enjoyed your time together so far. As nice as it might be to have the person tell you directly that they’re no longer interested, ghosting often seems like an easier option for many people, particularly in the digital age.
If your date is ignoring you, you could:
- Inquire casually
- Inquire directly
- Cut your losses and move on
Inquire casually
Generally speaking, there could be a number of explanations for why a guy you’ve been on a date(s) with isn’t responding to your messages or calls. He could have a genuinely busy schedule, he could be stressed about work or family, or he could simply not be the type of person who’s good at maintaining a regular texting cadence. Your first option is to send one more message inquiring casually about when you might be able to see him again and offer him the chance to respond and potentially explain.
Inquire directly
You could also be more direct, sending him one more message to let him know that you sense that you’re being ignored—and to ask why. If you feel confident that there’s no other explanation for his behavior but that he’s attempting to ghost and you want to confront him in a straightforward way, this is a possible option.
Cut your losses and move on
How it works
Most people want to date someone who’s excited to be with them. If you’re already being ignored by someone you’ve only been on a few dates with, it may not be a promising start for a relationship that’s characterized by mutual care and affection. That’s why you may choose instead to put this person in your past. You might send him one last message to inform him of your decision, or you might choose to leave things as they are and move on.
Other tips for coping when a man is ignoring you
When you’re being ignored by a guy you like, it can be tempting to inundate him with messages or calls. You’re likely wondering why he’s behaving this way and is looking for a resolution. Sending lots of messages is unlikely to get you the outcome you’re looking for, though. Instead, it might annoy him, or he could interpret it as a sign of emotional immaturity or insecurity. If you want to know why he’s been ignoring you, sending one polite but direct message and moving on if you don’t get a response—or don’t get the response you want—is usually best. Also, if he asks or has asked you not to contact him, it’s important to respect that boundary.
Waiting for someone you like to stop ignoring you can take a toll on your mental and emotional health, which is why it’s also recommended that you take care of yourself and your needs in this situation. It may be wise to avoid investing too much time or energy in someone who doesn’t seem to be interested in you so you can use that time and energy somewhere more fruitful or fulfilling. You might also prioritize self-care during this time in the form of spending time with friends, looking after your health, and speaking with a therapist if you believe you could benefit from support.
How a therapist can help
If you’re facing challenges in your romantic life, you might consider meeting with a therapist. They can provide a nonjudgmental, safe space in which you can express and process your feelings. They can also help you recognize if you’re engaging in any distorted thought patterns that may be hindering your romantic life and can assist you in building strategies that can be useful in the dating world, such as communication skills, boundary setting, and conflict resolution.
Getting started with BetterHelp is simple:
- Take a short questionnaire. Answer a few quick questions about your goals, preferences, and the type of therapist you’d like to work with.
- Get matched quickly. In most cases, you can be matched with a licensed provider in as little as 48 hours.
- Start therapy on your terms. Schedule sessions by video, phone, or live chat, and join from anywhere you have an internet connection.
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Find your matchFinancial constraints represent a barrier to seeking mental health care for many, which is where online therapy can be helpful. Since virtual therapists don’t have the same overhead costs that those with brick-and-mortar offices do, virtual visit costs are often more affordable. With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can meet with a licensed therapist via phone, video call, and/or in-app messaging for a cost that’s comparable to most insurance co-pays. Research suggests that online and in-person therapy can be equally effective in most cases, so you can typically choose the format that works best for you.
Takeaway
Being ignored can cause feelings of hurt and frustration, especially if it’s by someone you like. In general, your options in this scenario are to express your feelings with this person and/or ask them why they’re ignoring you or to cut your losses and move on. For support with challenging elements of your dating life, you might consider meeting with a therapist.
What if a guy likes you but ignores you?
If a guy likes you but is ignoring you, it can be confusing and frustrating and end up making you feel bad. There could be various reasons behind this behavior, and it's important to approach the situation with empathy and an open mind. He may be feeling shy, struggling to come up with the right words to express his feelings, or he may be playing games like hard to get. It is also possible that he has other priorities at the moment and doesn’t want to start a serious relationship.
It's important to approach the situation with understanding and patience. If you're interested in clarifying the situation, consider having an honest and open conversation with him. Express your feelings, ask about his behavior, and listen to what he has to say. Effective communication and talking through feelings can help you both understand each other's perspectives and work toward a resolution or a better understanding of the situation.
Why do guys ignore the girl they like?
Guys might ignore girls they like for a variety of reasons, and it's important to remember that the truth of each individual's motivations can be different. Here are some common reasons why a guy might start ignoring a girl he likes:
- Shyness or nervousness: Some guys might feel so nervous or shy around someone they have feelings for that they find it difficult to engage in conversation. They might worry about saying or doing something wrong.
- Mixed signals: He might be unsure about the girl's feelings for him and is trying to gauge her interest by creating distance.
- Fear of rejection: Being afraid of rejection can be powerful, and some guys might choose to ignore their feelings to avoid the possibility of rejection and the associated emotional pain.
- Playing hard to get: Some people believe that purposely ignoring the person they're interested in can create a sense of mystery and intrigue, making the other person more interested in pursuing them.
- External factors: Personal issues, stress, or other commitments could be taking up his mental and emotional energy, leading to him pulling back from interactions.
- Lack of confidence: A guy might feel inadequate or doubt his ability to maintain a meaningful connection with someone he likes, leading to avoidance.
- Uncertainty: If the guy is unsure about what he wants from the relationship or isn't ready for a commitment, he might choose to keep his distance.
- Social pressure: Cultural or societal expectations can influence behavior. He might be following social norms that suggest he should play it cool or not appear too eager.
- Miscommunication: Sometimes, assumptions and misunderstandings can lead to one person misinterpreting the other's intentions, leading to avoidance.
- Personal experience: Past experiences, such as heartbreak or rejection, can shape a person's behavior and cause them to be cautious—especially if they are still dealing with emotions from an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.
- Fear of ruining friendship: If the guy and girl have a strong friendship, he might be hesitant to express his romantic feelings out of fear that it could jeopardize their existing bond.
If you feel personally ignored by someone, the best thing to do may be to invite them into a calm, direct conversation to figure out the motivations behind the behavior.
Should I ignore a man because he ignores me?
When a man ignores you, it may feel frustrating or cause you to experience negative feelings, and it may also impact your sense of self-respect and self-esteem. However, when someone ignores you, the solution may not be to give them a taste of their own medicine by ignoring them back—especially if you like the person—which could make the situation worse. Rather than ignoring them, if you feel comfortable, it may be beneficial to open a direct conversation.
You may start by honestly expressing how you feel and then taking time to hear his response. How he answers may offer some clues into how he is feeling and may point you in the right direction moving forward. If he is not interested in giving you more attention, you may decide to shift your focus to your personal growth in whatever way that means to you—be it reading books, starting a new hobby, attending therapy personally once per week, or having fun with friends and loved ones. One important thing not to forget is that you are a complete person whether you’re in a romantic relationship with someone or not. The post-relationship period, whether after an ex-boyfriend or an unresolved situation, is a great time to focus on yourself.
Do guys test you by ignoring you?
Yes, some guys might employ the tactic of ignoring as a form of testing someone's interests or feelings. This behavior is often referred to as "testing the waters" or playing hard to get. However, it's important to note that not all guys use this strategy, and it's not always a healthy or effective approach to communication in relationships.
Ignoring someone that you like may lead to sending mixed signals, hurt trust in the future, and negatively impact emotions. When a guy ignores you on purpose, it may be a signal that he is the wrong guy for you. You deserve to find a partner who communicates with you respectfully and without playing games.
How should I react when he ignores me?
If it suddenly feels like you are being ignored by a love interest, you may feel sad, scared, or angry. Rather than react emotionally, it may be beneficial to give him some space. He may be putting off speaking with you because he has other priorities or stressors in his life, and it is possible that he may just need time and space to begin communicating again.
After giving him some space, it may be appropriate to approach him with your feelings and questions. At this point, he may give you an answer as to why he has been ignoring you. It is important to listen to him and be respectful during the conversation. By working together, you may be able to set up boundaries and expectations around communication in the future.
What should you reply when he ignores you?
If someone you care about ignores you, it's understandable that you might want to address the situation. When responding, it's important to maintain a calm and respectful tone. Here are a few options for what you could say:
- Express concern: "Hey [Name], I've noticed that our communication has changed recently. Is everything OK?"
- Open communication: "I value our connection, and I've noticed that things seem different between us. If something is on your mind, I'm here to listen."
- Seek clarity: "I hope I haven't done anything to upset you. If there's an issue, I'd appreciate it if we could talk about it."
- Show understanding: "I understand if you need some space right now. If you're open to it, I'd like to have a conversation when you're ready."
- Express concern: "I feel a bit confused about our interactions lately. If there's something you'd like to say, I'm here to listen."
- Stay positive: "I value our connection and hope we can continue to communicate openly. If there's something on your mind, I'm here to talk."
- Express your feelings: "I've missed our conversations. If there's a reason for the change, I'd appreciate knowing."
- Offer support: "If something is bothering you, I want you to know that I'm here as a friend. We can talk whenever you're comfortable."
- Be patient: "I understand that sometimes we all have our moments. Take your time, and I'm here whenever you're ready to talk."
- Respect boundaries: "If you need some space, I understand. Just know that when you're ready, I'm here to listen."
Your response should come from a place of understanding and empathy. Everyone has their own reasons for their actions, and responding calmly can help foster open communication.
Do guys ignore you on purpose?
Yes, some guys might choose to ignore someone on purpose for a variety of reasons. It's important to understand that each individual's motivations can differ, and not all guys engage in this behavior. In some cases, men ignore people accidentally, and they may not realize that they haven’t responded to that last text or that they haven’t returned your call.
What to do when a guy ignores you
If you are feeling ignored, you may try to seek out the person for a face-to-face encounter to discuss how you are feeling. In doing so, you can eliminate any chance of being accidentally ignored, and you may get your questions answered directly. By doing this in a calm and composed way, he may not feel attacked and may be more likely to express his feelings.
While it may be best to discuss your feelings in person, if the person is avoiding you, this can be hard. If they refuse to answer any calls or texts, you may send one message stating your feelings and asking them to follow up. At this point, it may not be beneficial to continue communication until they return your messages.
Does ignoring a guy keep him interested?
Using the strategy of ignoring to keep someone interested is not a healthy or reliable approach to building a strong and genuine connection. While it's true that playing hard to get or creating a sense of mystery can sometimes spark initial curiosity, relying solely on ignoring as a way to maintain interest can lead to misunderstandings and frustration.
Consequences of ignoring a man you're interested in
Here are five problems that arise from ignoring a person who you are interested in:
- Miscommunication.
- Insecurity.
- Trust Issues.
- Resentment.
- Dishonesty.
Instead of relying on ignoring to keep someone interested, focus on building a connection based on mutual respect, open communication, and common interests. If you're genuinely interested in someone, being authentic and showing consistent care and attention is more likely to lead to a meaningful and lasting connection. Healthy relationships are built on trust, understanding, and open dialogue rather than mind games or manipulation.
Why do guys suddenly stop communicating?
Guys might suddenly stop communicating for a variety of reasons, often influenced by their emotions, personal circumstances, or communication styles. Sometimes, they might be grappling with uncertainty about their feelings, leading them to distance themselves to sort through their emotions. Other times, external factors like work pressures, personal issues, or life changes can divert their attention and make them temporarily withdraw from communication.
Fear of vulnerability and rejection can also prompt guys to pull back if they're unsure about the other person's feelings or intentions. Additionally, misunderstandings or conflicts that arise during interactions might cause them to halt communication as they navigate how to address the situation. While these behaviors can be puzzling and hurtful, it's essential to approach the situation with empathy, considerate communication, and a willingness to understand the underlying reasons behind their sudden silence.
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