How To Stop Falling In Love Too Quickly With The Wrong People

Medically reviewed by Laura Angers Maddox, NCC, LPC
Updated February 20, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Falling in love can be wonderful and magical. However, if you find yourself quickly falling in love constantly and frequently with the wrong people, it can become difficult to form lasting, healthy relationships or accomplish other important life goals. If this is something you’re experiencing, there are ways to manage it. Read on for a few strategies to consider.

Falling in love too quickly can be confusing

Tips for avoiding falling in love too quickly

"I don't want to fall in love easily anymore. How can I prevent this?" If you are frequently falling in love quickly and with the wrong people, there are a variety of ways you can try to avoid this. 

Consider if someone is right or wrong for you

If you start to have feelings for someone too soon, you might try to evaluate whether they are right for you or not. Feeling attraction for someone can happen almost immediately, but deeper feelings of love often take longer to develop. If you feel like you are constantly falling in “love,” try to zoom out and examine the situation objectively to see what you are actually feeling. Is it love, or is it attraction? One strategy to try to help parse this out may be to consider if the person’s qualities and values align with yours and if you two would be a good fit together or not. This may help you regain control of your emotions.

Avoid social media pitfalls

When you have a crush on someone, it may be tempting to spend a lot of time looking at their social media accounts. This pastime may seem harmless, but it can fuel your fantasy and be difficult to stop. Spending a lot of time looking at someone's photos and reading their status may make your feelings seem stronger than they are. If you feel the urge to check up on a crush's Facebook or Instagram, consider trying to distract yourself by doing a different activity you enjoy.

Ilona Titova/EyeEm

Focus on other priorities and activities

You may also try to channel the energy that was going toward falling in and out of love into something productive and purposeful. For instance, you could set a new career goal and focus on working towards that. You could learn a new skill, like playing the guitar or crocheting. You could spend more time with friends or family. Or, maybe you’d like to try a new exercise routine, which can help you stay in shape and give your brain time to rest while doing something beneficial. Filling your time with other things you care about may help to keep your frequent romantic feelings in check. 

Get support from friends and family

It would help to inform your friends and family that you can't fall in love with the wrong people and that is why you are trying to stop falling in love quickly. For instance, you could ask that they not try to set you up with someone, if you would prefer to remain single. Or, you can ask them for support if you notice that you are beginning to fall too quickly for someone. 

Falling in love too quickly can be confusing

Realize your individual worth

In some cases, falling in love too often could be connected to feelings of low self-esteem. If you are experiencing low self-esteem, you might crave finding someone whose love can make you feel more valued or better about yourself. If this is something that you think might be a factor for you, trying to build your self-esteem may help. There are many ways to cultivate self-esteem, such as practicing self-compassion, challenging negative beliefs about yourself, listing your positive qualities, developing positive relationships, or setting a goal for yourself. 

Determine what you’re really looking for

Trying some of the strategies above may help you avoid falling in love too quickly with the wrong people, but this doesn’t mean you have to close yourself off from love completely. Falling in love with the right person can be a wonderful experience. In addition to the strategies above, it may also help to try to clearly define what you’re looking for in a romantic partner and what a healthy relationship looks like for you.

If you have a clearer picture of what you want, it may help you stay away from people who might not be a good fit, while remaining open to love with the right person.

How therapy can support you and your love life

If you are falling in love too quickly with the wrong people, there may be a lot of different, complex dynamics going on, and these can vary from one individual to the next. For instance, someone might be experiencing low self-esteem, someone else may have a fear of being alone, and someone else may have an underlying mental health condition. Whatever the dynamics at play, online therapy may be able to help.  

Studies have shown that online therapy can help individuals with a wide range of concerns. For example, a broad-based study in the Journal of Technology in Human Services examined results from a number of different studies involving the effectiveness of internet-based therapy. The report, which was comprised of 92 different studies with over 9,000 total participants, focused on online therapy’s usage in treatments for “a variety of problems.” The report found “no differences in effectiveness” between online interventions and face-to-face therapy, concluding that there is strong support for the use of online therapy as an effective therapeutic method.   

Discussing topics like love, romance, and self-esteem can often feel very vulnerable and personal, and so for some people, it may be helpful to find a space where you feel most comfortable and at ease to discuss your feelings. With online therapy through BetterHelp, you can have therapy sessions from wherever you have an internet connection, so you can choose to do it wherever you feel most at ease. A licensed therapist can work with you to help you learn the skills to become more independent and focus on building healthy, lasting relationships. 

Below are some reviews of BetterHelp counselors from people experiencing similar concerns.

Counselor reviews

"Mark is an amazing therapist. He listens so well and has such valuable insight on male and female perspectives and issues while also not passing judgment. I have only just begun, but he has already given me so many great takeaways to improve my relationships and situations. I am filled with gratitude, and I would highly recommend him to anyone!!"

"I really enjoyed my sessions with Dr. Anstadt. He helped me see how one issue was affecting multiple aspects of my life. He has greatly improved my relationships with the people I'm closest to and even the way I approach work. I have seen a huge difference in my relationships already, and I have several tools to help me manage the issues I started seeking therapy for. I cannot express how thankful I am to Dr. I Anstadt!"


If you find that you are falling in love too quickly, too often, and frequently with the wrong people, there are ways you can try to avoid this, while still remaining open to love with the right person. If this is something you’re experiencing, you may consider trying some of the approaches above, and for further support, you can connect with an online therapist.
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