How Do You Stop Loving Someone Who Is Bad For Your Mental Health: A Guide

Medically reviewed by Julie Dodson, MA, LCSW and Nikki Ciletti, M.Ed, LPC
Updated October 31st, 2025 by BetterHelp Editorial Team

How do you stop loving someone? It can be challenging and sometimes feels impossible to know how to stop loving someone you shouldn’t or lose feelings for them at all. Often, when you love or fall for someone you shouldn’t, or someone who doesn’t wish to be in a relationship anymore, the situation can end in unrequited love or love that isn’t reciprocated, leaving you to feel hopeless that your love interest will ever feel the same way. 

How to stop loving someone

It can be crucial to face the reality of the situation and let go of and stop fantasies and expectations in a healthy way, accept your emotions, spend time with family members, a best friend, or other friends, practice self-care and self-growth, and seek professional help if necessary. Surrounding yourself with positivity, finding closure, and working with a therapist can be beneficial to learn how to cope with your own feelings and stop loving someone.

Getty/jeffbergen
Heal from attachment that no longer feels right

Practice self-care and self-love for your mental health

Taking care of yourself when learning to stop loving someone can be an essential part of the healing process. Engaging in activities that make you feel good and improve your overall sense of self and well-being can be vital.

Self-care activities that can help manage emotions, reduce stress, and enhance mental health should generally be prioritized when learning how to stop loving someone..

Some examples of self-care activities may include the following:

  • Physical activity and exercise
  • Spending time on other relationships, such as with friends and family
  • Participating in hobbies and interests
  • Practicing mindfulness and meditation
  • Seeking professional help

Making positive changes in your life can also help you move on from unrequited love. These may include starting a new hobby, trying new experiences, and working on personal growth when learning to stop loving someone.

 By emphasizing the positive aspects of life and making improvements, you may allow your focus to shift away from the pain of unrequited love.

Find a fun hobby, limit contact, and take a social media break 

Surrounding yourself with positivity when learning to stop loving someone can also help you stop thinking about and move on from unrequited or one-sided love. A loving relationship doesn’t have to be romantic, and spending time with others who care for you can be beneficial when learning to stop loving someone.

You might try to spend time with supportive individuals who have your best interests in mind,find an interesting hobby, engage in enjoyable activities, and seek out positive experiences to help you shift your focus toward the good things in life and provide comfort and support during the healing process when learning to stop loving someone.

Avoid prolonged social media exposure to protect mental health

It can also help if you are silent on social media when learning to stop loving someone for a while to direct your attention to healing and moving on. Prolonged exposure to social media may serve to frequently remind you of your past relationship when learning to stop loving someone.

Find closure after a romantic love and relationship has come to an end

For most people, finding closure after a relationship (or hope for romantic love resulting in a future relationship) has come to an end can be a critical part of the healing process. Closure usually means accepting the end of the relationship and finding a way to move forward from these feelings of love.

Although closure won’t make your feelings disappear overnight, this can help you process your emotions and find peace with the situation.

Several strategies may help you find closure when learning to stop loving someone, such as those listed below.

  • Having a conversation: If possible, having a conversation with your former partner or the person who was the object of your affection may help you find closure. Although this may be a challenging conversation, it can provide an understanding of their perspective and lead to peace with the situation.
  • Writing a letter: Writing a letter to the person, even if you never send it to them, can be a helpful way to realize your feelings, gain self-awareness, process complicated emotions, and find closure.
  • Making a decision: Love is more than just a feeling; it’s a choice and accepting your emotions and consciously making a decision to move forward can be beneficial. Sometimes, that can mean accepting that the person who you are no longer in a relationship with is not the same person they used to be or not the kind of person you want to love.
  • Attending therapy: Working with a therapist can be a great way to find closure and process emotions. They may provide support, teach you coping skills, and help you talk through and understand your emotions.
  • Finding a support system: Talking to individuals who understand your situation can provide comfort and support during the healing process. This could include a close friend, family, and support groups.

Moving forward is usually the goal after leaving a situation in which you loved someone you shouldn’t have. This can mean finding a way to heal, letting go of the past, and potentially starting to live life for yourself again.

Although moving forward can be a slow process and may feel impossible at times, it can help you find happiness and peace. Try to take recovery one day at a time and remain optimistic.

How do you stop loving someone when a mental health condition like bipolar disorder plays a role in your relationship?

Relationships can end for many reasons, but when one partner is dealing with a mental illness, it can add additional challenges. 

Why conditions like bipolar disorder can make relationships challenging

People with mental health conditions can have healthy, fulfilling relationships, but it can make dating more challenging. If you are trying to manage a mental illness, you may feel like dating is too much pressure, or you may want to wait until you feel more stable to pursue a relationship. Plus, if you are on medication, it can impact your sex drive. 

How do you stop loving someone when it’s more than unrequited love

If you are dating someone with a mental illness, it can be beneficial to learn more about their condition. Learn what you can do to support them, and continue to nurture your relationship just as you would with any other. Mental illness is not a reason to end a relationship; however, if your partner is experiencing symptoms that are stopping you from living your day-to-day life or if you ever feel unsafe, it may be time to walk away.

Consider working with a therapist, either one-on-one or as a couple, in online therapy

If you are in a relationship where one partner is dealing with a mental illness, and you are unsure of whether you want to end it, talking to a therapist, either alone or as a couple, can be beneficial. A therapist can help you navigate challenging times in your relationship, or they can help you decide whether it is best to move on.

Seek support from a therapist for unrequited love: Online therapy can provide coping skills and tactics to improve mental health

Engaging in online therapy can be a form of self-care that may provide a multitude of benefits, including finding closure and processing your emotions when learning to stop loving someone.

Online therapy can be a convenient, flexible way to connect with a licensed mental health professional. If you’re in a dark place or feeling heartbroken or unmotivated, being able to attend therapy sessions from home, rather than a therapist’s office, can be helpful.

Loving someone you shouldn’t and ending the relationship or accepting that your unrequited love may never be returned, can leave you experiencing symptoms of depression. Even when you’ve stopped loving a person, these symptoms may not pass as easily.

Online therapy can be an effective treatment for depression and other mental health disorders. Even if you’re not living with a diagnosable mental illness, talking through your feelings with a mental health professional can be beneficial.

Getty/MoMo Productions

Takeaway

Healing and peace can be attainable after you stop loving someone you shouldn’t by accepting reality, taking care of yourself, finding closure, and moving forward. With time and patience, breaking free from unrequited love and moving forward with life can be possible. It’s often essential to be gentle with yourself, take it one day at a time, and focus on the positive aspects of life.

With the help of a professional therapist, you can work through these emotions and gain the tools you deserve to find closure and start living life for yourself again when learning to stop loving someone.

Build healthy relationship habits with a professional
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.
Get the support you need from one of our therapistsGet started