How To Get Over A Guy Fast

Deciding to move on from a relationship can be difficult. For many people, getting over someone you love takes time, and sometimes a great deal of it.

It may take weeks, even months, for the pain of an ended romance to subside. In some cases, you may be grieving an unrequited love. Although you may not want to hear that getting over someone can take time, there are still ways to aid in the healing process that may help you speed it up.

People are varied, and what works for you may not work for someone else. That's why getting over someone is a personalized experience. Taking the time and processing your emotions how you need can ensure that you're truly over someone and encourage your mental well-being and growth.

You may have work or school to attend, kids to care for, bills to pay, or people relying on you to "keep it together." You may not have the time or space to spend your days in bed watching TV shows or ignoring other responsibilities. Although that can be helpful in the short term, there are many long-term ways to get relief from the negative feelings that accompany a break up. 

Getting over a guy fast

Here are a few steps to take if you're curious about how to get over someone fast. These may assist you in your efforts to move on quickly.

Try to reduce contact quickly

Avoid seeing or talking to the person you're trying to get over for a while. The "No Contact rule" allows you to focus inward and see life without the person in it.

Enlist help from a loved one if you think you won't have the control to avoid him alone. Don't think of reasons to call or text him because it may bring up old romantic feelings and make it harder to let go. You may actually feel worse after making contact.

"No contact" means no contact or connection. Don't check his social media accounts, don't answer any of his messages, and don't reach out through a third party to get information. Being out of contact doesn't have to last forever, but it may help you get over someone more quickly.

Look to the future

Thinking about past positive times with the person may not be helpful. It could be the opposite. Reminiscing about someone might include writing about them often, thinking about your happy times together, or trying to convince yourself that the relationship shouldn't have ended.

When you're feeling tempted to go back, it can be beneficial to recognize why your relationship didn't work out in the first place. Even if it was a mutual breakup, there may have been a reason that you both agreed it wouldn't work at the moment.

It can feel more tempting to remember the good times over the bad. It's okay to respect and care for someone. However, if you find yourself stuck thinking about the past, cover every side of the story. Seeking the support of your best friend or family member who can offer a balanced relationship perspective may help. They may be able to reassure you about why the relationship ended so you can feel good about the decision.  

Try journaling

Research shows there are numerous benefits of expressive writing in improving mental health and well-being, especially when moving forward after a challenging event. According to one study published in the US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health, reflecting on our experiences can enhance our sense of self while helping us better understand others. This effect may be significant following a breakup, as a person's sense of identity may become entangled in their relationship. After the end of a relationship, journaling can help you re-establish your sense of self and self esteem, which may reduce loneliness. 

It may seem intimidating to start a journaling practice if you have never done so, but there’s no wrong way to do so. Think about how you might start small, like setting aside 10 minutes to write down your thoughts and emotions daily. Try not to monitor or judge yourself as you write openly about whatever comes to mind.

You might also try some journaling prompts online to help you process the breakup. You may not notice immediate progress, but over time, you may be able to look back and realize that getting your thoughts and feelings on paper has helped you to begin moving forward.

Invest in your other relationships

Avoid isolating yourself as you move forward after a break up. This could be the time to invest in other meaningful relationships in your life, whether with close friends or family members. Maybe there are some people you have not seen or caught up with for some time. You might consider reaching out to reconnect.

Spending time with your support network may aid healing. It may also remind you that while you are without this person, there are other avenues for filling your life with meaningful connection and love.

Re-discover yourself

Distracting yourself may help you move on from a broken heart. Although it can be helpful to take time to process what has happened and mourn the loss, allowing life to return to normal can also be. It may allow you to re-discover yourself or open yourself up for your next relationship. You might find that you're enjoying your time as a newly single person. Focusing on self-care and self-love may open you up to new experiences that you might not have had before, and staying busy may help you from getting stuck in the past.

What hobby have you set aside that you might pick up again? Is there a new hobby you always wanted to try but never got to do because it didn’t matter to your significant other? Now is your chance to do those things!

Spend time with other people, make new friends, and see how fun this new stage of your life could be.

There’s no need to do all the things, but if you need inspiration, consider trying one of these activities to learn something new about yourself:

• Blogging
• Photography
• Calligraphy
• Bowling
• Art
• Camping
• Meditation
• Canning
• Making cards
• Painting
• Scrapbooking
• Embroidery
• Floral arranging
• Genealogy
• Learning a new language
• Playing an instrument
• Pottery
• Puzzles
• Traveling

Other things that might work for you could include exercise, getting out in nature, or learning new things via books or podcasts.

Grieving a relationship

Grieving stages are often not linear, may occur in any order, or may appear multiple times before the final step is achieved. These stages include the following.

Stage one: Shock and other feelings

At this point, you may feel lots of different emotions, including:

• Sadness
• Fear
• Disgust
• Loneliness
• Feelings of abandonment
• Anger
• Hurt
• Shock

In the first stage of grief, you may still be processing what happened and what it means for you.

Stage two: Denial

Denial can be common with any grief. You may feel that the relationship has not truly ended or that what happened isn't real. You may wish to continue speaking to the person or acting like everything is okay.

Stage three: Begging and bargaining

Stage three may cause feelings of desperation. You may try to bargain with yourself or your ex to "make things right." For example, you might replay moments, decisions, and actions, ruminating on what you should have done differently to prevent the breakup and what you can do to fix it. Or, you may have urges to reach out and try to bargain with your ex to get them back.

Stage Four: Relapse

A relapse stage doesn't happen for everyone. However, in some cases, it can cause people to get back together or attempt to do so, even if they know it's not the healthiest form of action. If you get back together, you may find relief from the prior pain is only temporary.

If the problems that drove you apart aren't solved, you may end up at stage one again, and the grief process can repeat itself in the same way. It may be best to skip this stage and work toward accepting that although things have ended, the future is still bright.

Stage five: Acceptance

The desire to reach the destination of acceptance may have led you to this article in the first place. Once you reach this phase, you may be closer to getting over your ex and feel a budding sense of peace and acceptance. However, you don't have to go through the process of getting here alone.

Finding acceptance through counseling

It's easier than ever to reach out to a counselor when you're having a tough time. Online services like BetterHelp allow you to exchange messages with experienced professionals who can provide you with the guidance and insight you need for moving on. The sessions are online so that you can stay at home for therapy, and you won't need to add another outside errand to your schedule during this difficult time.

A recent study has proven that therapy is effective in healing anxiety after a breakup, with over 50% of participants finding relief. If you're experiencing anxiety, panic attacks, or stress due to the end of the relationship, you may find relief from speaking to an online therapist.

Online therapy with BetterHelp can be done from any location with a Wi-Fi router and strong internet connection. Thousands of therapists are available and signing up only takes a few minutes. After signing up, you'll be matched with a therapist within 24-48 hours.