Things To Talk About On The Phone If You Are In A Long-Distance Relationship

Medically reviewed by Melissa Guarnaccia, LCSW
Updated May 6, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

As society progresses into the digital age, maintaining a long-distance relationship may be more accessible for many couples. With a smartphone and an internet connection, many individuals can connect with loved ones through video chat, calls, or texting. 

While video calling, texting, and other digital means have vastly opened the lines of communication for many, upholding a long-distance relationship continues to have its caveats. For many, day-to-day routines can be time-consuming, which may make it difficult for couples to keep things interesting in a long-distance relationship or have a deep conversation. 

Though this feeling can present challenges, being limited to verbal communication can offer an opportunity to get to know your partner on a uniquely intimate level. There are a few interesting things you can discuss during a phone conversation to liven your conversation with your partner and to help move the conversation forward. By being intentional during the time you spend talking, you can learn more about each other through personal questions and conversations that detail your days apart.

Below, we outline conversation topics and ideas and conversation starters to make sure you always have interesting conversations with your significant other when in a long-distance relationship.

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Having trouble communicating with a long distance love?

Tips for keeping phone calls interesting in a long-distance relationship 

Healthy relationships can take work to maintain. When a relationship is long-distance, unique responsibilities may arise that can cause further difficulty. However, although distance has its pitfalls, it can create space to get to know the ins and outs of your partner’s thoughts, feelings, and interests as you have to be more intentional with communication and even plan interesting topics to talk about when you chat. 

With the continuous advent of virtual communication options, there are several ways to get to know your partner and maintain that spark from miles away. Below are ten tips for keeping your phone calls interesting in a long-distance relationship. 

Choose a TV series to watch together 

Streaming apps like Netflix, Hulu, and HBO Max have made it more accessible for people nationwide to keep up with their favorite series from anywhere at any time. Choosing a television series to watch together can offer a great way to spend time together as well as a great conversation starter that can be returned to over time. You may find that certain scenarios in the show lead to a variety of conversation starters as you discuss how you feel about a certain character or how you would react in a given situation.

Consider scheduling time to watch your chosen show together or coordinate your watch pace. Make time for a phone call after each episode, and express your thoughts, feelings, and predictions. You might try choosing a show that piques both of your interests or a docuseries that you find interesting. A few online apps can also allow you to video chat and stream on one screen simultaneously.

Schedule virtual dates 

While casual phone calls might be a part of long-distance relationships, scheduling dedicated “dates” is another way to keep the romance alive from afar. If possible, schedule a weekly video call via Facetime, Zoom, or other video calling platforms. Ordering similar food, playing a game, or planning a virtual beer or wine tasting can be fun virtual date activities for you and your long-distance partner.
Consider preparing questions to ask your partner each call that may boost your relationship, such as:
  • What is your favorite memory?
  • What were your most embarrassing moments?
  • What is the best concert you’ve ever gone to?
  • What’s the strangest dream you’ve ever had?
  • What are five things on your bucket list?
  • What have you been doing in your free time lately?
  • Do you prefer hugs or kisses?
  • Who is your favorite family member, and why?
  • What’s your biggest fear?
  • What were your first impressions of me?
  • In social situations, do you prefer being with a big group or with close friends?
  • What are some current events that interest you?

Play video games together

Though online gaming may be associated with popular titles, many online games are available for any type of “gamer.” Consoles like the Nintendo Switch offer several multiplayer games such as Mario, Yoshi, and Animal Crossing. Additionally, traditional board games like chess, Monopoly, and trivia are often available to play with a partner online. 

Choose an area of interest with your partner and see what online games would be fun to play together during a phone call. You could also download similar games from a gaming platform and challenge each other to see who can finish the main quest first. 

Plan your next in-person visit

In-person visits are often a part of long-distance relationships, and planning these visits can take time, money, and effort. 

Planning dates, locations, and activities for upcoming visits can start a fun discussion for those in long-distance relationships. Make planning calls more interesting by selecting activities, restaurants, or other fun activities you may want to incorporate into your next visit. Bring up what you’re most looking forward to once you’re together again. You can outline them on a Google Docs document and add comments and ideas in real time.

Send photos and videos of daily life

Sending frequent photos or videos of what you come across daily can be a fun way to keep long-distance conversations interesting. For example, sending a photo of a pretty bird or cute dog you crossed paths with can make you and your partner feel more connected throughout the day and act as an engaging conversation starter. Additionally, sending selfies or special photos can ignite romance and excitement. If you’re considering boundaries, you can use an app like Snapchat or WhatsApp to send photos that disappear after a certain time. 

Pictures and videos allow couples who are in long-distance relationships to take a trip down memory lane and reflect on all the things they’ve done as a couple. 

Ilona Titova/EyeEm

Do chores or errands together

Doing chores and running errands might not be fun activities, but completing them with your partner “by your side” can make them more interesting. With wireless headphones, calling your partner before doing the dishes or running into the store can make it feel like you are executing your daily routines together. If they have errands to complete, you can help each other with accountability by being there to ensure you both complete your chores and enjoy some great conversation along the way. 

Check-in regarding communication

Long-distance relationships may benefit from considerable communication to maintain a bond between partners. Frequently checking in with each other regarding your level of communication and individual needs can be helpful. You can learn how satisfied your partner is with the current communication methods by asking with an open-ended question. For example, more texts, calls, or dedicated video calls may be vital to maintaining your relationship. Discussing these needs over the phone can provide comfort and clarity for both parties.

Plan for the future

Some people in long-distance relationships hope to move toward an in-person relationship eventually. If you are at a point in the relationship where living together is a realistic goal, start discussing these plans through open-ended conversation. These plans may take a few months to organize and may include the locations you like, options for work (will one or both partners need to find a new job?), living arrangements, what each person will pursue for their own hobbies, and family planning to get started. 

Send each other surprises

Receiving a small gift or package may bring a smile to your partner’s face. Surprising your partner with flowers, lunch, a handwritten letter, or a small gift are ways to keep romance alive. You might also buy plane tickets to visit them and surprise them with the gift of your presence. 

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Having trouble communicating with a long distance love?

Navigating long-distance relationships with therapy 

Despite the numerous ways to keep long-distance relationships fun, intimate, and engaging, distance can present many unique challenges to navigate. Trust and communication are often vital to maintaining a relationship from afar, yet both of these necessities can be complex and difficult to uphold without guidance or understanding. 

If you struggle to maintain a relationship with a long-distance partner, you might benefit from online therapy. A recent uptick in digital mental health intervention has created several opportunities for long-distance couples to participate in couples therapy. In addition to individual therapy, recent research has found online couples therapy equally effective as in-person therapy. 

Due to the nature of long-distance relationships, the flexibility of online therapy is often required for those seeking guidance in how to best navigate long-distance love. Through platforms like BetterHelp for individuals or Regain for couples, couples can attend therapy from two separate locations and talk to each other with a therapist’s help. If you’re experiencing conflict related to long-distance challenges and starting to question how long you can go on like this, the online therapist can offer suggestions and tools to help you achieve your goals.

Takeaway

Though long-distance love can be challenging, communication and creativity may help partners keep the conversation flowing and the spark alive. Frequent and open conversations, active listening, and understanding may also reveal many ideas you and your partner can consider to keep your regular calls fun and exciting from afar. If you’re struggling with your long-distance relationship or seek further advice, consider contacting a therapist for guidance.
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