Things To Talk About On The Phone To Build Connection
A phone call can be an effective way to build a deep connection with someone, but finding the right topics to talk about on the phone can sometimes be challenging—particularly if you’re used to texting or seeing each other in-person. While it can take some time to feel comfortable chatting on the phone, embracing meaningful conversations can help bridge the gap and deepen the connection between you.
Starting interesting conversation
Whether you’re looking to deepen a long-distance relationship, reconnect with an old friend, or simply get to know someone better, our list of 30 things to talk about on the phone is designed to help you have more interesting conversations and foster a deeper connection.
Below, you’ll find a list of timeless topics and conversation starters to help ensure you always have interesting phone calls.
How to prepare for a great phone conversation
Avoid distraction
Talking on the phone isn’t as engaging as seeing each other in-person, and it may be easier to get distracted than if you were spending time together face-to-face. Find a quiet place where you won't be interrupted and put away other devices that might divert your attention. A video call can be a good way to stay more engaged with the conversation, and can feel more intimate.
Minimize background noise
Background noise can make it hard to hear and understand each other, so it’s important to choose a quiet spot for your call. You can use noise canceling headphones to better hear others in noisy environments, and turn on your phone’s audio or voice isolation setting to minimize how much background noise is transmitted on your end.
How to maintain engaging conversation while talking
Cultivate curiosity
Show interest in what the other person is saying by asking questions and expressing genuine curiosity. This not only keeps the conversation flowing but also shows that you value them and care about what they have to say.
Be responsive
While it’s easy to show your interest in a face-to-face interaction, phone calls require consistent verbal responsiveness. Try to find ways to respond thoughtfully by acknowledging their points, asking follow-up questions, and share your own related experiences.
30 things to talk about on the phone
From personal interests and life goals to fun and light-hearted things to talk about on the phone, these conversation starters are sure to enrich your phone conversations and bring you closer to your loved ones.
Things to talk about on the phone: To get to know each other
Chat about your favorite hobbies and pastimes: Sharing your own hobbies can reveal more about your personality and interests—and can be a great segue into a conversation about future plans together.
Share your favorite books, current reading lists, and book recommendations: Share and recommend books you love to spark interesting conversations about your favorite genres and authors.
What are your favorite movies? What TV shows are you watching? Movies and TV shows can be a great conversation starter that can lead to discussions on the phone about plots, characters, and themes.
Who are your favorite artists? What’s the best concert you’ve been to? Share favorite songs, artists, and concerts you've attended.
In social situations, do you prefer being with a big group or with close friends?
Swap podcast recommendations: Learning about each other’s favorite podcasts can be a great way to learn about each other, and can give you an entry point into their interests, beliefs, and values.
Do you like to cook? What are your favorite restaurants? Talk about your favorite foodie experiences, be it your favorite restaurants, home-cooked meals, or world cuisines.
Where have you been? Where do you want to go? Talk on the phone about your favorite places, share your bucket-list destinations, and reminisce on your fondest memories from elsewhere.
How do you like to stay active?: Your fitness habits and goals can be a great springboard for talking on the phone about workout routines, sports you enjoy, and even setting mutual fitness challenges.
Are you a morning or a night owl? What’s your routine like? You can learn a lot about a person by learning how they like to arrange their days and spend their free time.
To catch up
What’s new at work/school?: Work or school updates can give you insight into each other’s daily lives and current challenges, and spark supportive and meaningful conversations.
Share weekend plans: Talking about your upcoming plans can give you a window into each other’s social lives and inspire ideas for future activities together.
Any good stories recently?: Sharing recent stories or experiences can keep the conversation flowing and provide fresh topics to talk about on the phone.
Share stories about your pets or animals: Your pets’ antics and behaviors can be a heartwarming and lighthearted way to infuse the conversation with joy.
Show me your haul: Chat about your recent purchases or shopping plans to get the conversation moving in an interesting direction.
Chat about ongoing or upcoming projects: Share the personal or home improvement projects you’re working on. Swap ideas, inspiration, and tips.
What’s happening in [city/town]? News, current events, and celebrity gossip can be an endless source of both laughter and meaningful conversation.
To deepen your connection
Tell me about your family.: Our families are our earliest and often most important relationships, and learning about the people and dynamics that define a person can be a good step towards emotional intimacy.
What would you want to be famous for? Talking on the phone about what you’d like to be famous for can reveal aspirations and values, and spark interesting conversions about the nature of fame.
Take a trip down memory lane. You could talk about your childhood, an important life phase, or a favorite memory.
What were your most embarrassing moments? Sharing an embarrassing moment can be a great way to bond—and to ease the burden of a cringeworthy memory.
What’s the strangest dream you’ve ever had? Bizarre dreams can be fascinating and provide insight into each other’s subconscious thoughts.
What are five things on your bucket list? Start thinking ahead to the future together by sharing your aspirations.
What’s your biggest fear? Sharing your fears and vulnerabilities can be a valuable way to build emotional intimacy.
What were your first impressions of me? Recalling first impressions can be a fun and nostalgic way to strengthen your bond.
To plan for the future
What are your goals for the short- and long-term future?: Chat about what you’re working towards, whether it’s a health goal, career advancement, or life milestone.
Share life and career aspirations: What are some visions you have for your future? Where do you want to be in 5 or 10 years?
Do you see yourself having kids? How many?: If you don’t yet have children, is that something you envision for yourself? What kind of parent would you like to be?
Talk on the phone abour your retirement goals and plans. Talk about where and when you want to retire, and how you want to spend time when you no longer have to work.
Plan your next visit. A phone call can be a good time to start planning your next date or visit.
Tips to keep the conversation flowing
1. Schedule virtual dates
Casual phone calls can be a nice ritual, but it may be nice to spend time together in a more structured or special way by planning a long-distance “date.” This could mean ordering similar food, watching a movie or playing a game together, or planning a virtual beer or wine tasting. Whatever you choose, you might enjoy the novelty of spending quality time with each other even if you’re apart.
2. Send photos and videos of daily life
Staying in touch with slice-of-life photos and videos can be a fun way to keep up between phone calls, and can give you something to talk about when you get a chance to speak. Sharing these moments can also make you feel more connected and present in each other's daily lives.
3. Send each other surprises
Staying in touch with slice-of-life photos and videos can be a fun way to keep up between phone calls, and can give you something to talk about when you get a chance to speak. Sharing these moments can also make you feel more connected and present in each other's daily lives.
Build stronger relationships in therapy
If you struggle to build deep, meaningful relationships, it may be worth considering online therapy. A therapist can help you work through any personal issues that may be affecting your relationships, such as social anxiety, low self esteem, or past trauma. Interpersonal therapy, for example, has been found to be an effective treatment for depression, and can help you address issues such as unresolved grief, role disputes, role transitions, and social deficits.
With BetterHelp, you can attend weekly virtual therapy sessions with a licensed counselor via text, phone, or video call. Online therapy has been found to be just as effective as in-person therapy, and tends to be more affordable. Your BetterHelp membership also includes tools and features like group therapy, prompted journaling, educational webinars, and digital therapy worksheets to help you get the most out of your time therapy, helping you make progress faster.
Takeaway
Frequently asked questions
Read more below for answers to questions commonly asked about what to talk about on the phone.
What are some questions to talk about on the phone?
Long-distance relationship questions can include the following:
- What are your favorite childhood memories?
- What was the best and worst part of your week?
- Describe your favorite dish.
- What kind of games (video games, board games, etc.) do you like to play?
- Are you close to your parents?
- Tell me something interesting that happened to you recently.
- What helps you focus and feel centered?
- What’s your favorite TV show right now, and why?
- What’s one moment in your life that has stuck out to you?
- What would you want to do if we were together right now?
- How do you feel about our future?
- What are your favorite moments with me so far?
What else can you talk about on the phone?
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