Long-Distance Relationships: Things To Talk About On The Phone
Updated November 04, 2019
Reviewer Kristen Hardin
Long distance relationships are hard. If communication falls short, relationships are strained. Not seeing each other in person for long periods makes it even harder. However, if couples are willing to put in the work to nurture and strengthen their relationships from afar, they can continue to grow closer, even though they are physically separated. Strong communication is one of the most important pieces of a successful long-term relationship. To have this strong communication, you'll need to simply talk.
What Should You Talk About?
It's easy to become overwhelmed by long distance relationships. You may struggle to come up with things to talk about. However, it really is not something you need to force.
Sometimes simply just seeing their face over a video chat will inspire a natural conversation. You may feel reconnected when you see your partner's eyes looking back at you, enough for your mind to flood with topics you'd like to share. Other times, communication may be more difficult.
Consider telling your partner about the small moments of your day. Tell them a story from when you were young. Ask questions about your plans together in the future. Give them room to do the same. If you're still falling short of ideas, look through a list of topics for phone conversations. Later, we'll look into some topics in detail, as well as share some helpful tips for long distance communication.
Things to Keep in Mind
There are a few things to keep in mind when you're in a long distance relationship. By considering these topics, you'll be able to gain a deeper understanding of your communication needs.
Is Your Relationship New?
If you are in a new long-distance relationship, it will take time to establish a routine of what to expect. It may be awkward at first, and that is okay. Communication is a skill to learn, and it is a new process with every new relationship.
Your Relationship Is Real
Your relationship may be long-distance, but it is not so different from any other relationship. You see each other less often, but you are still sharing a life with each other. Tell your significant other about your day. If you see something funny, take a picture and send it to them. These are all things you would do even if you were not in a long-distance relationship. Treating your relationship as you would any other can help you in your communication needs.
Don't Avoid the Hard Topics
Communication is more than just sharing words, it is sharing the right words. You may not enjoy talking on the phone, where the conversation is forced. A long-distance relationship can actually create opportunity to talk about feelings, hopes, struggles, and dreams. It is a good idea to consider letting yourself be vulnerable. This will actually strengthen your relationship.
50 Things to Talk about on the Phone
If you're struggling to find things to talk about on the phone, know you're not alone. Long distance communication can be a challenge in many ways. Consider choosing the topics below to discuss when you're having trouble finding ideas on your own.
- Your ride to work
- What you had for breakfast
- Plans for the next time you see each other
- Your thoughts on the news of the day
- Weather differences between your two locations
- Your dream vacation
- Your current goals
- A funny story from when you first met each other
- A childhood secret
- Your day at work
- What you had for lunch
- Stressors in your life
- Your favorite sports team's latest game
- Your plans for dinner
- How you're feeling about the long-distance part of your relationship
- What you would be doing if you were currently in the same room
- A funny story about your pets
- Your plans for the future as a couple
- One new thing you did this week
- Your favorite song
- Your upcoming plans with friends
- A strange fact about yourself
- The last thing you bought
- A fun game you play on your phone
- The book you're currently reading
- What life will be like when you live together someday
- What you're wearing
- The food you're craving
- Your favorite coffee
- How your family members are doing
- What you miss about each other
- Something you can do together over the phone
- Plan your next date
- Countdown the days until you see each other
- The next thing on your shopping list
- Something interesting you saw on television
- A memory from high school
- Your exercise of the day
- How much you love each other
- Something you're dreading
- Your least favorite household chore
- Your pet peeves
- The view out your window
- Something nice you've done for a stranger
- Something you wish you could change
- A task you've been putting off
- Make a plan to write letters to each other
- How the relationship is going with long distance challenges
- A movie you want to see
- How you slept last night
How to Communicate Well
Long distance relationships require more than just a list of topics. Use the tips below to ensure you're communication is considerate, purposeful, and that it is capable of taking your relationship to the next level.
You and your significant other may need to have a conversation about what you each expect from your relationship regarding communication. One might think that multiple texts throughout the day and a call in the morning is ideal, while the other partner might feel overwhelmed by this. It is important that you take the time to talk to your partner and find a compromise. When you have a plan that you're both happy about, your communication will feel smoother.
If a phone conversation turns into a fight, it is perfectly fine to say that you would like to resume the conversation later. This is especially important if it's a phone call and not a video call, where you cannot see the other person's body language and facial expressions. Remember that communication from afar can be challenging, and set limits to avoid misunderstandings as much as possible.
Use Various Communication Methods
Do not be afraid to try other means of communication when in a long-distance relationship. You can text, email, and even send letters and packages through the mail. With these bursts of communication, you can better keep the spark in your relationship alive. You'll feel closer together when your lives are connected through various mediums as well.
Make It Special
You may want to consider taking the time to ensure your time spent communicating is special. For example, on Friday nights you could both get a bottle of wine and sit outside and drink a glass "together." You could also watch your favorite sports team play while you watch your own televisions and share comments over speakerphone.
Follow Your Heart
Even with all these updates in technology and the tips listed above, long-distance relationships require work to sustain. Do not let anyone, such as well-meaning family or friends, make you think a long-distance relationship is a bad idea. You know what is right for you. Listen to your instincts. Long-distance relationships, just like typical relationships, are going to have ups and downs. If you're following your heart, it will all be worth it in the end.
Long distance relationships are hard. If you ever feel like you are having trouble managing your yours, you may want to consider speaking with a therapist. Professional help can guide you through even the most difficult situations. If you've got a busy schedule or find it hard to commit to counseling, check out BetterHelp today. You can speak to a licensed therapist anytime, anywhere through their online platform. See reviews of BetterHelp counselors below from people experiencing similar issues.
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It is easy to see that long distance relationships make communication difficult. However, they also provide unique opportunities to grow as a couple. Use the tips we've discussed to grow closer to your significant other, no matter how physically far apart you may be. With the right tools, you can enjoy a fulfilling and lasting relationship. Take the first step today.