The Pros And Cons Of Falling In Love With Your Best Friend

A relationship with your best friend, someone who may split your interests and complement your personality, can be a meaningful and fulfilling part of life. It can be normal to feel close to them or develop non-platonic feelings.   

Even if you and your best friend aren't initially interested in each other romantically, your feelings may change over time. While falling in love with someone you're already close with can be natural, you may fear your dynamic changing or losing your friend if a romantic relationship ends.

If you're developing a genuine romantic connection with your best friend, you may want to consider how acting on your feelings could impact your relationship. Considering the pros and cons of your options can be beneficial. "I love my best friend, will it be good to say it?"

Pros And Cons Of Falling For Your Best Friend

While starting a romantic relationship with your best friend may benefit you, there could be potential drawbacks to remain aware of. 

Pro: You May Have A History

One benefit of beginning a relationship with a close friend can be the foundation of trust and familiarity. There might be less pressure attached to the initial stages of the romantic relationship with a friend since you may already feel comfortable around them. 

You may also have some knowledge regarding their previous relationship history. Having an idea of what your best friend values when it comes to romance can provide insight into what a relationship with them might look like. This knowledge can be valuable in navigating the early stages of your romantic relationship, including developing communication strategies or understanding each other's needs.

Con: You Might Lose Them As A Friend And A Partner

If you date someone you've formed a close friendship with, your dynamic may shift if the relationship ends. Even if you decide to stay friends, it can be challenging for people who were dating or married to remain close when they break up. 

You may decide that you don't want to act on your feelings based on the possibility of losing this person as a friend and a romantic partner. If this is a concern you relate to, you and your best friend might decide to discuss how you'd want to proceed in the chance of a breakup. 

Pro: You May Feel Comfortable With Each Other Already

It can feel easy to develop certain expectations of a potential partner only to find out you're incompatible. With a close friend, you may feel more confident that you'll get along well as romantic partners based on your existing friendship.  

Often, components of a thriving friendship—communication, honesty, respect—also exist in successful partnerships. Familiarity with your best friend may translate to comfort in a romantic relationship.

Con: You May Skip An Introductory Phase

While some people feel more comfortable knowing what they're getting into, for others, the risk is the reward—they like some uncertainty in their lives. 

Learning about a new person can feel exciting. Couples often talk about how fun the "getting to know you" phase can be. Learning surprising things about a new partner, such as hidden talents, family history, goals, and aspirations, can help you form a bond. If you date someone who's already a close friend, you may feel stumped on questions to ask during a date.  

If you're enticed by the mystery and excitement of dating a stranger, you might not want to date your best friend. However, there could be an exciting element of getting to know your best friend in a new way romantically.  

Pro: You Might Have Mutual Friends

You might already know some of your best friend's family and friends, so you could avoid the potentially awkward interactions that often occur when meeting a new partner's loved ones. You may even have a built-in social group of mutual friends. 

If you're considering acting on your feelings for your best friend, it can help to know that you already get along with the important people in their life. Knowing ahead of time how you'll fit into your best friend's social and family circles can ease some of the tension that's present early in relationships. 

Con: Dynamics Might Change Within Your Friendship

If your best friend becomes your romantic partner, you might lose the ability to interact with them as you did before. For example, you may not feel comfortable talking to them about relationship struggles any longer, as you are in a relationship with them.  

Outsourcing support, advice, and unbiased opinions regarding your relationship may need to come from another source. You may also lose old patterns or interaction styles you had as platonic friends.

Every Situation Can Be Different

A romantic relationship with a best friend may feel like a rewarding part of your life. However, take time to consider the benefits and drawbacks specific to your friendship.

Whether best friends should act on their feelings for one another can depend on several factors, and every situation can be different. You may know that your best friend just got out of a serious relationship, or you might feel that you won't be compatible as romantic partners based on your relationship history.  

As you consider the above pros and cons, ask yourself some questions. They might include: 

• Is my best friend interested in me, too? 

• Would my friend be interested in dating me romantically? 

• What type of relationship do I want? 

• Would I prefer a "friend with benefits" situation? 

• What happens if we break up? Can we go back to just being best friends? 

Navigating Your Relationships With Therapy

Therapy could be beneficial if you've fallen in love with a best friend and want support in navigating the relationship. You might also talk to a therapist about deciding whether to date your best friend or stay platonic. 

Many couples and individuals opt for online counseling, as it's a modern method. You can participate in sessions remotely through video, phone, or in-app messaging. A study on the efficacy of online therapy interventions for couples found that treatment can improve relationship functioning, satisfaction, and communication, in addition to helping decrease symptoms of individual mental health conditions. 

Researchers also noted that online therapy reduced barriers to treatment present with in-person couples therapy, such as financial constraints and lack of the means to approach providers. If you're ready to get started, platforms like BetterHelp for individuals and ReGain for couples can allow you to connect with a licensed mental health professional from the comfort of your home. 

FAQs

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