What Kind Of Person Are You Inside, Beyond Your Appearance?
Updated February 17, 2020
Reviewer Wendy Boring-Bray, DBH, LPC
What kind of person are you? By the time we reach school age, we become aware that looks do matter. We may not have become sophisticated enough yet to prefer certain hair, eye, and skin colors, or the details in features, but we perceive that some looks are favored over others. We begin developing opinions on small and large sizes, grooming habits, and how to dress.
What Kind of Person Are You Inside, Past Appearances?
Looks matter so much that they are studied by experts searching for people to fill the roles of fashion design models, film characters, sales representatives and advertising. The area where facial appearance has been studied the most, however, has been in politics where it has become a science.
We instinctively classify certain types as beautiful based on the symmetry of features, eye shapes and colors, mouth shape, and smile, because these perceptions have been ingrained since early childhood. We instinctively trust certain features as trademark signs of good leadership; with mild enforcement through the presentation of comic book heroes.
Does Your Body Language Give You Away?
A great deal of study has gone into body kinetics; with a very large following interpreting hand gestures as signals of what's going on below the appearances. Crossed arms are a defensive position. Steeple chasing your fingers is a sign of superiority. Many of these gestures have been dismissed as simply habits or matters of convenience. Performers and public speakers practice hand gestures to elicit a public response. In our daily lives, we all learn to reign in our feelings, so that reading each other through facial expression or body language can be difficult unless we intentionally send out signals.
What's that Spark?
There are always those who defy all normal classifications for attractive appearances, yet charge the air with thunderbolts as soon as they walk into the room. They are charismatic characters and you understand this before they even open their mouths. They immediately illicit charm and influence the people around them.
Body language does play a large part in a charismatic person. They are confident. They have a great deal of exuberance for life and it shows in their energy output. They have a spontaneous smile. They are friendly and passionate. They are expressive in their gestures and optimistic in their views. You can't really practice being a charismatic character, but you can practice acquiring the attitudes that make one.
Your Personality is Showing
Regardless of how much we practice in the mirror to maintain a good appearance, our personalities take over as soon as we let our attention slip to something beyond how we appear. If you often have negative thoughts, your mouth will routinely begin to slip downward when in the relaxed position. Self-doubts and uncertainties come through in small habits, such as nail biting, hair twisting, and shrinking back in a crowd.
The degree of our self-esteem is evident in our grooming habits and the way we treat our bodies. How well we care for the well-being of others reflects in how well we care for ourselves.
Who you are on the inside has nothing to do with how you look, but it does have much to do with your behaviors. Negative behaviors will reflect negatively on the way people see you, no matter how attractive you are. Positive traits, such as kindness, patience, and understanding will reflect in your body kinetics, your facial expressions, and your voice.
Remember, BetterHelp.com offers counselors, therapists and other field professionals that can help you make an educated decision on your future, your present and even help to reconcile the past. Don't hesitate to make an appointment just because of curiosity. There's no obligation and you can share your thoughts honestly at any time.