How To Chart A Course For A Healthier And Happier Future

“How do I live a more fulfilling life?” 

If you find that you’re often asking yourself this question, you’re not alone. Many people encounter moments in their lives when they realize they want to make a change. Maybe you’re struggling in your relationship, you feel like you’ve hit a dead end in your career, or you want to live a healthier lifestyle but aren’t sure how. When these doubts strike, it can be natural to wonder where to go next and how to build a life that’s more in line with your needs, values, and goals. 

Bobby is a BetterHelp user who was able to make positive changes in his life and relationships with the help of an online therapist. You can find his story below, as well as a short guide you can use to chart a course to a happier, healthier future.

Charting a course in therapy: Bobby’s story

When I first signed up for BetterHelp about five months ago, I was struggling with co-dependent relationships. I kept finding myself in relationships with women who were emotionally abusive, unfaithful, and would end up leaving me. I therefore signed up after a breakup because I was in so much emotional pain. However, since working with my counselor, Michelle, on BetterHelp, my improvement is night and day. I went from feeling intolerable amounts of emotional pain to generally feeling healthy, strong, confident, and positive.

How therapy helped me process my emotions

Michelle has shown me how to accept my current situation and forgive myself for being there. She also showed me how to process the pain I was feeling—scream into a pillow, cry, punch my bed, whatever it takes—really feel it, then let it go. She helped me understand why I kept repeating these bad relationship patterns and supported me through addressing the root causes. She taught me to be thankful for the lessons and to allow myself to move on and strive for better relationships.

With Michelle’s help, I’ve learned how to chart a course for a healthier and happier future, and how to walk that path with strength and positivity. Aligning myself with those types of good thoughts and intentions got me some surprising results early on in our sessions. I got closure with the girl, started attracting and being attracted to healthier women, and got promoted at work.

My previous experiences with counselors

I had seen other counselors in the past before Michelle through my benefits program at work. They first referred me to an online counselor. I would email her, and she would email back in a day or two. She and I did not gel in the way that Michelle and I do. I found she didn't really understand me or have a good grasp of my problem, and her counseling was not helpful. From there, they escalated me to an in-person counselor. I only saw her twice and never went back. She was good; she knew exactly what I was dealing with and how to resolve it. However, she showed no empathy and honestly made me feel embarrassed that I was struggling with these issues.

I recall she also spent our first session having me fill out paperwork, and then, after only 10 minutes or so of actual counseling, she said our time was up and rushed me out. After her, I tried another online counselor with whom I had better luck. She helped me through a previous breakup at that time and showed me the root causes of the pattern that I needed to address. But once I felt better about the breakup, I moved on without doing the work to address the root causes. So a few years later, I wound up back in the same situation, which brought me to BetterHelp.

Why BetterHelp worked for me

The main components that drew me into BetterHelp were the price and flexibility. I work 50 to 60 hours a week, and have a hard time committing to appointments, so the online format is perfect for me. I like that I can book a call with Michelle if I need one, but she is also there if I just need to message her or vent about something. I feel that the advantage of in-person counseling is the obvious human touch it gives, but I can get that with Michelle through a video or phone call if I need to. It's the best of both worlds, and the price tag makes long-term counseling affordable. BetterHelp costs a fraction of what other people charge.

Overall, thanks to Michelle's support on BetterHelp, I improved my self-confidence and got into a healthier and more positive frame of mind, which I have been able to sustain for a few months. Compared to where I was five months ago—hopeless, heartbroken, in pain, etc.—this is a huge accomplishment, I'd say!

Beyond Bobby’s story: What it means to “chart a course” for your life

Bobby’s story shows us how it’s possible to develop a more positive mindset, start down the path to healing, and take steps toward building a better future. But what does that process look like? What can each of us do to chart a course toward a healthier, happier, more ideal life? 

Finding a direction

Just like therapy encouraged Bobby to live in a way that was more aligned with his goal of forming healthier, more positive relationships, identifying your north star can help you take actions that will move you in the right direction. 

Breaking your vision down

Long-term goals can seem daunting, but breaking them down can be a powerful tool. Consider breaking your north star goal down into more manageable tasks, which may make it easier to plan ahead and set yourself up for success. It can help to ensure these new goals are specific and time-bound, as this can provide the structure to help you avoid procrastination. 

For instance, if your north star goal is to make a positive difference in the world, you might try breaking it down into more specific goals like, “I will improve one person’s life each week through a random act of kindness.” Similarly, if your north star goal is to improve your physical health, you might try setting sub-goals such as:

• Exercising for a few minutes a day
• Cooking yourself one meal a week
• Eating five servings of fruits and vegetables per day
• Staying on top of your yearly check-ups

Tracking your progress

It can be easier to build momentum toward your goals when you’re able to track your progress. For instance, if your goal is to write a book, you might find it helpful to track the words you write each day and note down major achievements, like finishing a chapter or writing a difficult scene. If you have a fitness goal, like losing weight, you might find that setting and reaching realistic and healthy milestones helps you maintain motivation. 

Seeing how far you’ve come, and taking the time to celebrate these milestones, can often provide the encouragement you need to stay on course while also giving you valuable information about what’s working and what’s not. If your progress hasn’t kept up with your expectations, this may be a sign to either adjust your goals or adjust your timeline and process. 

Maintaining motivation on your path to a happier future

Making any significant change in your life can be hard work, and it may not always be easy to maintain motivation. When faced with the desire to give up on your goals, you may find it helpful to:

• Keep your primary goal in mind
• View challenges not as failures, but as temporary setbacks
• Avoid “all-or-nothing” thinking
• Remember that you control the objectives you set for yourself
• Be willing to adjust expectations based on what’s realistic at this moment in your life

It can also be helpful to remember that major life changes are often a long process. Whether you’re adjusting your approach to relationships, taking on a new career, or making a significant lifestyle change, it can be helpful to be patient with yourself, not expect yourself to be perfect, and view your journey as just that: a journey, one that will naturally have ups and downs. 

Practicing self-care

In addition to the strategies above, self-care can be another powerful tool for maintaining your mental health and well-being on your path to change. Taking care of your body and mind can help set you up for success and make setbacks easier to manage, so consider using the following wellness strategies as you progress: 

• Eating a healthy, nutritious diet
• Getting regular exercise (which can have positive effects on physical and mental health)
• Building time for rest and relaxation into your day
• Practicing good sleep hygiene
• Engaging in enjoyable hobbies
• Spending time with friends and loved ones
• Practicing stress management, such as deep breathing or grounding exercises
• Practicing mindfulness or meditation
• Giving yourself regular breaks from social media 

Seeking guidance

Bobby’s story highlights the importance of understanding the root causes of his relationship patterns and emotional distress. It also serves as a reminder that although the above steps can be a good starting point, making major life changes can often be difficult alone. 

That’s why, if you’re struggling to find a path toward the life you want to create, you might want to seek guidance from a therapist who can lead you toward greater growth and self-discovery. A therapist may be able to provide more personalized advice and help you identify what might be preventing you from realizing your goals. They may also be able to give you additional resources and help you manage other mental health or relationship concerns you might be experiencing. 

Finding a path forward in online therapy

If you’re experiencing challenges related to mental health or co-dependent relationships, or you’re looking for support in creating a better future, you don’t have to walk this road on your own. No matter what changes you’re trying to make in your life, having the encouragement of a trained professional can be a valuable resource—but not everyone has the time to commute to in-person therapy. 

Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp offer the flexibility of attending sessions from the comfort of your own home. This flexibility may make it easier to stay consistent and get ongoing support in pursuing your goals. 

Given BetterHelp’s network of more than 35,000 licensed therapists, you can be matched with someone who has experience helping people with similar concerns. If needed, you can always change therapists until you find someone that you perceive is a good matchand with whom you feel comfortable.

Effectiveness of online therapy

With BetterHelp, you can engage in therapy completely online, which research has shown to be just as effective as in-person therapy. You can connect with a therapist via audio or video chat at a time that suits your schedule. You can also reach out to your therapist 24/7 via in-app messaging, and they’ll get back to you as soon as they can.