Tips For Reducing Emotional Reactivity And Building Emotional Stability
Human emotions can be intense and powerful, sometimes leading people to behave in ways they later regret. Virtually all of us are prone to being affected by strong emotions from time to time, but those who are particularly emotionally reactive may have even more difficulty maintaining control in the face of intense feelings. If you’ve noticed that emotional reactivity is negatively impacting your life, read on for strategies that may help you more effectively manage what you feel.
What emotional reactivity can look like
Emotional reactivity refers to a tendency toward emotional reactions that are:
- Easily activated;
- Intense;
- and/or long-lasting.
Examples could include getting very angry at a small inconvenience, feeling sad for days after receiving a minor piece of criticism, or frequently saying things you later regret out of frustration in the moment. As you can imagine, having a high level of emotional reactivity has the potential to negatively impact a person’s life. First, it can lead to frequent feelings of distress that can interfere with daily functioning. It can also affect a person’s relationships, since it can cause them to have trouble managing interpersonal conflict and lead them to say harmful things they don’t mean. Becoming less emotionally reactive is generally possible, however, with patience and practice.
Note that although they are often confused, emotional reactivity is related to reactivity psychology. The former refers to easily triggered emotional reactions in an individual, whereas the latter refers to the phenomenon of a person changing their behavior when they know they’re being observed.
What causes emotional reactivity?
In general, humans are wired to react to our emotions. If we’re feeling stressed, for example, our body will experience a cascade of physiological changes to enable us to respond to a threat—which can include altered balances of neurotransmitter levels that can affect our mood. So although people can generally learn to better manage their emotional responses, some measure of emotional reactivity is built in. Some people may also be more reactive or more stoic simply due to their natural personality.
It’s also important to note that many additional factors can increase a person’s level of emotional reactivity, such as:
- Depression. An individual experiencing depression may be more emotionally reactive than a person who is not, perhaps because the condition may override a person’s normal emotional functioning.
- Past trauma. Research has linked living through a traumatic experience(s)—especially in childhood, like abuse or neglect—to the potential for increased emotional reactivity and difficulties with emotional control in general. Those who develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after such an experience have also been found to demonstrate increased emotional reactivity.
- Some personality disorders. Emotional reactivity may also be a symptom of some personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder.
- Traumatic brain injuries. This type of injury can have a wide range of potential effects depending on its severity and the part of the brain impacted. Increased emotional reactivity is one of these possible effects.
If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse in any form, you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for immediate support, advice, and assistance.
Five tips for increasing emotional stability
There are many factors that can go into an individual’s high level of emotional reactivity, so there’s no single solution that will effectively reduce it for everyone. Instead, you might experiment with a variety of techniques for boosting your emotion control skills and increasing your emotional stability overall. As a result, you may be able to decrease your own levels of distress, increase your resilience to stress and other challenges, and improve your relationships.
1. Identify what triggers strong emotions for you
Journaling is one way to do this. You can write about past circumstances where you were reactive in order to figure out exactly why. Over time, you might see patterns emerge. For example, you could come to notice that you immediately feel angry whenever you receive any criticism because of a tendency toward perfectionism. Equipped with this information, you may be able to work on the root issue so that you become less reactive over time.
2. Take a break before responding
If you’re prone to emotional reactivity, giving yourself time before you respond to a charged situation can be helpful. While it’s not possible in every case, stepping away to take a few deep breaths and center yourself before responding can give you the time you need to get your reactions under control before engaging with the person or situation that triggered strong feelings.
3. Learn relaxation exercises
Finding ways to help calm your body and mind when a strong emotional reaction takes hold can help you regain control in moments of reactivity. Deep breathing exercises, for example, can help evoke a physical relaxation response. Practicing these regularly and in times of emotional stress may enable your body and mind to find this place of calm as needed when faced with difficult situations.
4. Develop an awareness of your thoughts and feelings
Someone who is experiencing emotional reactivity is often not aware of the steps involved in them going from calm to distressed, because they tend to occur in quick succession. Taking measures to develop a greater awareness of your thoughts and feelings can help you realize when they’re shifting so you can take action to calm yourself or find a healthy outlet. For example, instead of letting yourself jump straight to anger when someone makes a comment you disagree with, you can start learning to notice when such an emotion begins to come over you instead of immediately feeling overtaken by it. Engaging in a mindfulness practice, such as mindfulness meditation, can help you cultivate the ability to create this gap over time.
5. Speak with a therapist
A therapist can be a helpful resource on your journey toward becoming less emotionally reactive. They can help you enact the tips above, from identifying situations that make you feel especially reactive to learning mindfulness and relaxation exercises to help you cope. They can also support you in addressing any symptoms of a mental health condition you may be experiencing if they are contributing to your reactivity.
While therapy was traditionally only available in person, there are now additional options for those with certain availability needs or who simply prefer engaging in therapy from the comfort of home. With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, for example, you can get matched with a licensed therapist who you can meet with via phone, video call, and/or in-app messaging from anywhere you have an internet connection. Research suggests that online therapy can be as effective as in-person therapy in many cases, so you can typically choose the format that works best for you.
Takeaway
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
What causes emotional reactivity?
Some people may be a bit more emotional or more stoic by nature. Others may experience high reactivity due to a lack of skills around emotional management. Still others may experience this challenge as a result of a mental health condition like depression or borderline personality disorder, a traumatic brain injury, or experiences of past trauma.
What is high emotional reactivity?
High emotional reactivity is the tendency to have a strong emotional response to a given situation. This could look like getting angry very quickly and easily or feeling very sad for days after a minor incident. This tendency can cause distress as well as problems in a person’s daily life and relationships.
What are examples of emotional reactions?
Emotional reactions are feelings we experience based on thoughts we have as a result of a given situation. This could include feeling sad when experiencing rejection or feeling angry when experiencing an injustice.
How do you heal emotional reactivity?
Becoming less emotionally reactive usually takes time, patience, and practice. Becoming aware of your tendency for reactivity and identifying patterns in how and why you react strongly can be helpful initial steps. You might also engage in some form of cognitive reappraisal, whether on your own or with the support of a therapist. This process entails changing how you view and feel about a given situation so that you can change your behavior in response to it. If you’re experiencing reactivity as a result of a mental health condition like depression or borderline personality disorder, meeting with a therapist to address your symptoms is usually a recommended next step.
What is a reactive person like?
A reactive person tends to get upset easily, whether this takes the form of intense anger or deep sadness. Their emotional reactions may happen more readily and last longer than is appropriate for the situation, potentially leading to distress and relationship conflicts.
How do i stop reacting to emotional triggers?
Becoming aware of them is usually the first step. Journaling is one way to do this. Next, practicing active listening in order to understand where another person is coming from before reacting can help you understand the realities of the situation before letting yourself become overwhelmed by the initial emotions you feel.
How do you release emotional triggers?
Finding techniques that help you relax and find calm can be a helpful way to avoid letting yourself be overcome by strong emotions. If you’re experiencing triggers related to a traumatic experience, you may benefit from getting screened for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) by a therapist.
Why do i react to everything in anger?
Emotional reactivity that takes the form of anger can have a variety of different causes. Someone who experienced neglect or other forms of trauma early in life may experience more problems with emotional control. Intense anger or irritability can also be a sign of a mental health condition, such as intermittent explosive disorder or post-traumatic stress disorder.
How do you calm down before reacting?
You may be able to calm down by removing yourself from the situation, breathing deeply, practicing meditation, or engaging in a creative or physical activity.
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