Tips For Reducing Emotional Reactivity And Building Emotional Stability

Medically reviewed by Nikki Ciletti
Updated February 18, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team
Content Warning: Please be advised, the below article might mention trauma-related topics that include abuse which could be triggering to the reader. If you or someone you love is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7. Please also see our Get Help Now page for more immediate resources.

Human emotions can be intense and powerful, sometimes leading people to behave in ways they later regret. Virtually all of us are prone to being affected by strong emotions from time to time, but those who are particularly emotionally reactive may have even more difficulty maintaining control in the face of intense feelings. If you’ve noticed that emotional reactivity is negatively impacting your life, read on for strategies that may help you more effectively manage what you feel.

Getty
There are many strategies for controlling our emotions

What emotional reactivity can look like

Emotional reactivity refers to a tendency toward emotional reactions that are:

  • Easily activated;
  • Intense;
  • and/or long-lasting.

Examples could include getting very angry at a small inconvenience, feeling sad for days after receiving a minor piece of criticism, or frequently saying things you later regret out of frustration in the moment. As you can imagine, having a high level of emotional reactivity has the potential to negatively impact a person’s life. First, it can lead to frequent feelings of distress that can interfere with daily functioning. It can also affect a person’s relationships, since it can cause them to have trouble managing interpersonal conflict and lead them to say harmful things they don’t mean. Becoming less emotionally reactive is generally possible, however, with patience and practice. 

Note that although they are often confused, emotional reactivity is related to reactivity psychology. The former refers to easily triggered emotional reactions in an individual, whereas the latter refers to the phenomenon of a person changing their behavior when they know they’re being observed.

What causes emotional reactivity?

In general, humans are wired to react to our emotions. If we’re feeling stressed, for example, our body will experience a cascade of physiological changes to enable us to respond to a threat—which can include altered balances of neurotransmitter levels that can affect our mood. So although people can generally learn to better manage their emotional responses, some measure of emotional reactivity is built in. Some people may also be more reactive or more stoic simply due to their natural personality. 

It’s also important to note that many additional factors can increase a person’s level of emotional reactivity, such as:

  • Depression. An individual experiencing depression may be more emotionally reactive than a person who is not, perhaps because the condition may override a person’s normal emotional functioning.
  • Past trauma. Research has linked living through a traumatic experience(s)—especially in childhood, like abuse or neglect—to the potential for increased emotional reactivity and difficulties with emotional control in general. Those who develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after such an experience have also been found to demonstrate increased emotional reactivity.
  • Some personality disorders. Emotional reactivity may also be a symptom of some personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder.
  • Traumatic brain injuries. This type of injury can have a wide range of potential effects depending on its severity and the part of the brain impacted. Increased emotional reactivity is one of these possible effects

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse in any form, you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for immediate support, advice, and assistance.

Getty/AnnaStills

Five tips for increasing emotional stability

There are many factors that can go into an individual’s high level of emotional reactivity, so there’s no single solution that will effectively reduce it for everyone. Instead, you might experiment with a variety of techniques for boosting your emotion control skills and increasing your emotional stability overall. As a result, you may be able to decrease your own levels of distress, increase your resilience to stress and other challenges, and improve your relationships. 

1. Identify what triggers strong emotions for you

Identifying what kinds of situations cause you to react with intense emotion can be a positive first step toward learning to manage such reactions.

Journaling is one way to do this. You can write about past circumstances where you were reactive in order to figure out exactly why. Over time, you might see patterns emerge. For example, you could come to notice that you immediately feel angry whenever you receive any criticism because of a tendency toward perfectionism. Equipped with this information, you may be able to work on the root issue so that you become less reactive over time.

2. Take a break before responding

If you’re prone to emotional reactivity, giving yourself time before you respond to a charged situation can be helpful. While it’s not possible in every case, stepping away to take a few deep breaths and center yourself before responding can give you the time you need to get your reactions under control before engaging with the person or situation that triggered strong feelings. 

3. Learn relaxation exercises

Finding ways to help calm your body and mind when a strong emotional reaction takes hold can help you regain control in moments of reactivity. Deep breathing exercises, for example, can help evoke a physical relaxation response. Practicing these regularly and in times of emotional stress may enable your body and mind to find this place of calm as needed when faced with difficult situations.

4. Develop an awareness of your thoughts and feelings

Someone who is experiencing emotional reactivity is often not aware of the steps involved in them going from calm to distressed, because they tend to occur in quick succession. Taking measures to develop a greater awareness of your thoughts and feelings can help you realize when they’re shifting so you can take action to calm yourself or find a healthy outlet. For example, instead of letting yourself jump straight to anger when someone makes a comment you disagree with, you can start learning to notice when such an emotion begins to come over you instead of immediately feeling overtaken by it. Engaging in a mindfulness practice, such as mindfulness meditation, can help you cultivate the ability to create this gap over time. 

5. Speak with a therapist

A therapist can be a helpful resource on your journey toward becoming less emotionally reactive. They can help you enact the tips above, from identifying situations that make you feel especially reactive to learning mindfulness and relaxation exercises to help you cope. They can also support you in addressing any symptoms of a mental health condition you may be experiencing if they are contributing to your reactivity.

Getty/Vadym Pastukh
There are many strategies for controlling our emotions

While therapy was traditionally only available in person, there are now additional options for those with certain availability needs or who simply prefer engaging in therapy from the comfort of home. With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, for example, you can get matched with a licensed therapist who you can meet with via phone, video call, and/or in-app messaging from anywhere you have an internet connection. Research suggests that online therapy can be as effective as in-person therapy in many cases, so you can typically choose the format that works best for you.

Takeaway

Emotional reactivity means that a person is quick to respond to a situation with strong emotions, which may also be long-lasting and intense. Since this tendency can cause distress and negatively impact interpersonal relationships, taking steps to get it under control can be helpful. Strategies to try can include developing mindfulness, practicing relaxation exercises, and meeting with a therapist.
Grow your understanding of your temperament
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.
Get the support you need from one of our therapistsGet started