The Benefits Of Emotion-Focused Therapy
Medically Reviewed By Kimberly L Brownridge , LPC, NCC, BCPC Counsel The Mind, LLCWhen it comes to relationships, what can make or break them are emotions. You were attracted to your partner because of emotions, so it's natural that strong negative emotion can destroy the relationship. Sometimes, emotional experience trump logic, and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) might be the solution you need.
What Is Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT)?
EFT therapy is a person-centered approach that focuses on a person's emotions and the response to said emotions. Also called process experiential therapy, it was first developed in 1985. In the 1980s, divorce rates were at an all-time high, and psychologists Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg were trying to find a better way to help couples solve their differences. This led to them discovering that most of the problems couples face come from a cycle of reinforcing emotions that go back and forth between them. Emotion is not just one individual, but a web that can weave between partners.
As an emotion-focused approach, EFT has been evolving since the first manual was published 30 years ago in university training centers, with many new steps added since then. EFT also can be used for family members and even for individuals. Many couples find it helpful. Why? Because they learn to understand each other's emotions, as well as be self-aware of their emotional responses.
What Theory Does EFT Use?
Although EFT can be used in a clinical psychology contemporary psychotherapy setting, it focuses on the attachment theory of human functioning. Attachment theory originally focused on infants and their primary caregivers, but it was soon discovered that adults also have attachments of their own. Attachment theory studies the effects of interpersonal relationships and emotional experience between humans. Many humans develop adaptive emotions as babies and feel safer when they're around a loved one. This helped spring EFT to life.
You may have someone you're attached to, be it your spouse, family member, or friend. There are some who are loners, but even the most antisocial tend to have at least one person they're attached to. Do you ever feel like that person will abandon you? The EFT model says that sometimes, relationships going bad can be due to the fear of abandonment, even if it doesn't show. Your response to the fear of abandonment may end up making your relationship worse, almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Then there is the cycle of negative emotional patterns during change processes. If your partner is in distress, you may become frustrated as you attempt to understand them. This can increase your negative emotion, which can amplify theirs, and it's like playing hot potato with a lit bomb. It's going to explode in someone's face eventually.
You may feel like you understand your partner's emotions, and maybe you do to a point, but no one can get in someone's head. And even if you could, many can't even understand their own emotions. Many therapists won't be able to understand someone's emotions entirely, but their techniques can make the emotions more visible. EFT focuses on the feeling many couples have, and that's insecurity.
Everyone has insecurity to some degree. Every couple has asked "Do they love me?" to themselves or their partner. There's always the fear that someone better will take them away, or they'll no longer need you.
This can stem from many things, from you being abandoned by someone when you were younger to the basic attachment an infant has with their caregiver. Whatever the cause, EFT teaches people how to eliminate those insecurities and have a revitalized emotional connection to their partner.
Talking to a therapist who will listen and empathize with you can give you better results. Therapists know how relationships work. Every situation is different, but there are many emotional similarities a therapist can jump on to fix the relationship.
The Steps Of EFT
With many treatments, the techniques are broken down into steps. People like when treatment comes in steps, and it's easy to follow. EFT specifically has nine steps that are divided into three phases. Here is the basic outline.
Phase One: Deescalate The Problem
Whatever the situation is, the therapist needs to put an end to the anger and bickering so that they can help to fix the relationship. This is divided into four steps.
- The therapist identifies the concern the couples have. Be it finances, insecurity, aging, and so on.
- Then, the therapist identifies how negative emotions and negative interactions will make the conflict worse whenever the concern is brought to light. These usually appear in patterns.
- Afterwards, it's time to figure out the causes. The therapist looks for fears and emotions that may be hiding beneath the conscious mind and may be causing those negative interactions.
- The therapist then tells the couple how the main conflict is connected to those underlying emotions and points out the couple's needs, usually involving attachment.
If this works, the couple's argument should calm down, and then it's on to phase two.
Phase Two: Changing Patterns
In this phase, the couples are taught how to interact better and express their emotional needs. This is divided into three steps.
- The couple can talk about their deep-rooted emotions, as well as their wants and needs relating to attachment.
- Each partner is taught different ways to empathize and accept their other partner's needs.
- The partners are then taught about needing to express their emotions and needs, and then told ways to discuss these needs without leading to conflict.
Now, the couple should be on their way to understanding each other.
Phase Three: Integrating
Now, we're in the final stretch, and there are only two steps this time.
- The therapist tells the couple ways to communicate to their partner and help to create better solutions to older problems.
- Finally, it's up to the couple to fix this outside of therapy. They learn the techniques and make a plan to better interact with each other whenever a situation should rise.
When it comes to relationships, there tend to be problems that stem from a lack of communication. You may think you know your partner quite well, and that can be your downfall. You may never know what's in their head, and due to that, you may end up destroying the relationship. EFT helps to find common ground and communication based on that.
EFT for Other People
EFT has evolved to be more than just couple counseling. Here are a few other uses.
Families
It makes sense. A lot of family issues can stem from attachment worries and a lack of communication about emotions. For instance, as a child enters adolescence, they may have a slew of emotions they want to tell their parents, but they just can't. Even in adulthood, EFT is good to help reconnect with your loved ones.
Individuals
If a person has depression or some other trauma, EFT may be an effective tool in fighting it. A person may learn to figure out the cause of their depression, be it an attachment to someone else or a trauma. They're then taught to write down a plan to help conquer their problems.
Does It Work?
When it comes to therapy, the biggest question you may have is, "Does this work?" You don't want to invest time and money into a temporary bandage, after all.
No therapy is 100 percent effective, and some couples just can't settle their differences without separating, but EFT is found to be effective for most people. It's true that couples tend to have attachment issues, and by figuring out the root emotions and learning how to handle that, the couple can move on to have a happy, healthy relationship.
EFT tends not to be a temporary bandage. There will be follow-up appointments, and most couples keep using the techniques and end up having a happy, healthy life with each other.
No matter how close you are with your partner, you're going to have hiccups, and sometimes it feels like it can be the end. When in all actuality, you just need some therapy with them to get the relationship moving on the right track.
The Overall Benefits Of EFT
To summarize, here are some of the benefits you may experience with EFT.
- A better understanding of your needs
- A better understanding of your partner's needs
- The ability to talk about problems with empathy rather than escalation
- Learning about your attachment insecurities and how you can handle them
- Finding the cause of your problems instead of a symptom
- Having a relationship that works out and will last a long time
If you and your partner were meant to be, you can't miss out on EFT if there is a problem that you just can't fix.
Seek Help!
If you, your partner, a family member, or just someone you know is struggling with relationship issues, try EFT. Don't wait for the problem to fix itself, because that may end up in separation. There are plenty of outlets out there to help you find a therapist who's right for you and your partner. Whether in-person or online, you can learn to know your differences and move on to have a relationship that will last a lifetime.
Commonly Asked Questions
What does emotion-focused therapy treat?
There’s a substantial body of empirical research that demonstrates that emotion focused therapy (EFT), or emotion coaching, can be effective method for a number of mental health concerns both in individual therapy and couples therapy. Benefits of this therapeutic approach can include:
- Greater emotional well being
- Gain emotional awareness
- Greater emotional regulation
- Helps cope with unhelpful emotions and certain mental health conditions, such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and personality disorders
- Impulse control
- Restructuring interactions in love relationships that may have prevented the couple from forming a secure bond
- As a component of family therapy, helps build empathy and making sense of each other’s emotions.
What are the three stages of emotionally focused therapy?
The three stages or phases of emotionally focused family therapy are the same in individual therapy and couples therapy:
- Assessment and de-escalation: this stage involves identifying the conflict and emotion schemes within the couple or person. The goal is to access repressed or unwanted emotions to start addressing them during the following stages.
- Acceptance and change: once negative feelings have been identified, the individual or couples dealing with specific issues can initiate the emotional change process. During these sessions, which can range from a couple to several, the EFT therapist and clients work together in an active process of listening and questioning that ultimately helps clients navigate, accept, and regulate certain emotions.
- Consolidation of the change: although therapy is an ongoing process, EFT has a clear therapy focus, which is to achieve healthy intimate relationships and emotion regulation. Then, once the secure attachment needs have been met, the person or persons can move on to resolve any past conflict more easily and naturally, since the emotional conflicts have been resolved.
Does EFT work for couples?
Yes, EFT is a popular technique for adult love relationships and families. This reflective approach can help couples going through intense emotional experiences or key moves that define a relationship to form stronger bonds and healthy adult attachment, become more aware of their partner’s needs, learn helpful change strategies to better cope with problems in the future.
What is emotion focused therapy used for?
Emotion focused therapy, or process experiential therapy, is one of the most common therapeutic strategies used to treat mental health challenges and relationship problems. This experiential approach leads therapists and clients towards awareness, acceptance, and expression of emotion. It is also used to educate and create accurate and correct emotional responses to situations when a client doesn’t seem to have an understanding of their (or significant other’s) emotions or reactions. This type of therapy uses emotions to guide treatment and the goals are strengthening the self and creating new meaning in cognitive behavioral thinking.
How long does emotion focused therapy take?
Typically, emotion focused therapy (eft) is a short term therapy style that takes between eight to twenty sessions in order to move through all the stages. Emotion focused therapy is often used in conjunction with other types of therapy and emotional awareness exercises that are person centered. This type of therapy has been empirically supported through evidence based studies and EFT research, and two to five months of treatment is the usual amount of time.
What are the stages of emotion focused therapy?
There are typically three phases and nine steps of emotion focused therapy. The first phase is made up of four steps: identifying the conflict, identify the cycle where the conflict is expressed, access unacknowledged emotions, and reframe the argument so that the victims work together. The second phase is made up of three steps: promote identification of disowned needs, promote partner acceptance, and facilitate expression of needs and wants. Finally, the third phase is made up of the final two steps: new solutions and consolidation of the previous steps. This type of therapy can help people learn new ways to treat emotions and situations, as well as deal with mental health concerns. Emotion coaching, under emotion focused therapy eft, is a clinical psychology strategy meant to help a person tackle emotional experiences and learn to overcome challenges associated with understanding their emotions.
What does psychodynamic therapy focus on?
Psychodynamic therapy focuses on the unconscious processes of the mind and how they interact with the conscious decisions a person may make. Good therapy that uses a psychodynamic strategy will effectively help a client build self awareness and an understanding of the influence of the past on present behavior. This type of therapy, as with emotion focused therapy, is a holistic approach that focuses on the underlying cause behind a person’s action, rather than just the action itself. Therapist find that psychodynamic therapy can be quite effective for therapy emotion coaching and focused therapy for depression.
What are the 3 types of therapy?
The main three types of therapy used are: psychodynamic therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and humanistic therapy. All these types have subsets that are effective at helping a client learn to use their emotions to guide their thoughts and actions in a healthy manner. Emotion focused therapy is typically used alongside some of the above therapy types and the combination can have beneficial effects on a person’s mental health. Case studies have been done into all the different kinds of therapy and the above three were the most commonly used types. Find a treatment plan that works for you and find a private practice that specializes in the type of therapy best suited to your specific needs. For some, emotionally focused therapy may be what is needed whereas others may find strategies such as humanistic therapy to be more effective.
What can EFT help with?
Emotion focused therapy is an effective strategy for probing emotions in a client and getting to the root cause of those emotions. Therapy emotion tapping is a strategy used in EFT where therapist find the cause of strong emotions in your psychology in order to help a client come to terms with their emotions. As a whole, emotion focused therapy can be beneficial at treating a range of mental health challenges such as eating disorders or other issues. Find a therapist who specializes in emotion focused therapy at a treatment center near you if you believe this strategy of therapy can help.
Can EFT cure anxiety?
EFT is an effective focused therapy for depression and anxiety. An emotionally focused therapy treatment center can help a client cope with anxiety through therapy emotion exercises and professional advice. Continuing education focuses on exploring all the benefits of EFT, but studies conducted in the modern day have found that EFT professional advice can be quite helpful at treating anxiety. It’s worth mentioning that there is no cure for anxiety, but a treatment center can help anybody manage their symptoms. It’s advised that, as a therapist, you should list your practice and continuing education experience, so that a client can find a treatment option that aligns with their needs best.
