12 Anger Management Techniques And How They Work

Anger is a natural emotion that can be a healthy response to some situations. Everyone experiences angry feelings sometimes, and it’s often healthy to express your anger in certain situations. However, the intensity and frequency of anger and the behaviors motivated by anger can have a significant impact on relationships and mental health. If your anger feels uncontrollable or you often act out when angry, you may benefit from adopting evidence-based anger management techniques. 

These techniques may benefit those who feel angry easily and those whose anger grows disproportionately more prominent than the situation causing it. Some anger management techniques can be used in the moment to calm yourself before acting. For example, you might use a basic decision tree that helps you remain calm, choose a strategy, and then repair or correct course if needed. Keep reading to learn more about anger management techniques and how to find an anger management specialist who can help with your specific challenges. 

Why people get angry and why it makes sense

People get angry for a number of reasons, including when they feel injured, insulted, ignored, or disrespected by another person. In this way, anger is a normal human emotion that makes sense when a person is wronged. Anger may also arise in response to stress, unresolved conflict, and certain environments that lead to overstimulation. While these may not encompass all the reasons for anger,  they tend to be some of the most common causes. 

Anger as a normal response vs an anger problem

While anger can be a normal response to being insulted, sometimes it arises when a person wrongly perceives that someone has tried to harm them. Negative or inaccurate thoughts about oneself and others can lead to problematic anger derived from projection or misperception. Even when anger is justified, it can become problematic when a person experiences it frequently or can’t control it. Uncontrolled anger can lead to outbursts that affect everyday anger and relationships. It can even lead to a pattern of broken relationships—with friends, colleagues, and romantic partners. 

Identify triggers and early warning signs 

Part of anger management involves developing self-awareness to identify triggers and recognize signs that anger is arising, such as physiological arousal. This response may include accelerated breathing, a clenched jaw, a hot sensation, and racing thoughts. This self-awareness may mean the difference between silently allowing anger to dissipate and engaging in verbally or physically aggressive behavior. 

12 anger management techniques for inner peace

Learning anger management techniques can be beneficial for your mental health, physical health, daily life, and social connections. Below are 12 anger management techniques inspired by professional therapeutic techniques you might encounter with a provider or through an anger management class. 

1. Practice deep breathing

Numerous studies suggest that deep breathing can lead to significant stress reduction. Anger can often be related to stress, so breathing exercises can be one way to tackle two symptoms simultaneously. 

One common exercise that may help is called box breathing. It involves breathing in slowly as profoundly as you can to a count of four, holding for a count of four, breathing out slowly to a count of four, and holding once more for a count of four. 

Deep breathing may help to reduce your blood pressure and heart rate, which may keep you from doing or saying something harmful when your body is in fight-or-flight mode. 

2. Visualize a calming environment

If you can separate yourself from the source of your anger for a few minutes, visualization might help you take a moment to focus on your emotional goals. Consider imagining yourself in a relaxing place, like a clearing in the woods or your favorite place to go camping. Try to find imaginary stimuli in your visualization that engage the senses. For example, if you're visualizing a forest, you might imagine what smells you can notice and what sounds you hear. 

By visualizing something that you naturally find calming, you might reduce the physiological arousal resulting from anger, which may keep you from having an outburst. 

3. Write in a journal: Jotting down your thoughts and feelings in the moment

Journaling may help you notice patterns in your thinking, which can be advantageous in the long term by pointing out areas of growth you might not initially notice. When angry, consider removing yourself from the situation so that you can sit down and write about your thoughts and feelings. Some people find it therapeutic to journal with paper and pen to slow themselves down. Others might use a phone or computer to get their thoughts out quickly and conveniently. However you decide to journal, the process may lead to fewer outbursts, which can improve both personal and professional relationships. 

4. Find a physical release of anger

In some cases, you might feel that your anger is so intense that it causes physical sensations like burning skin, nausea, or clenched muscles. You may also notice a spike in adrenaline or physical energy. 

Physical release through running, going to the gym, or using an exercise machine may help you release this energy positively. Research shows that physical activity is highly supportive of anger management. Physical activity also tends to increase the release of endorphins, which are chemicals that produce a sense of well-being. 

5. Vent to someone you trust

Social connections have benefits for both mental and physical health. Emotional repression is correlated with negative health impacts and can worsen anger, so you might try reaching out to someone you love to vent or socialize. Venting to someone, whether a hotline volunteer, a therapist, a friend, or a family member, might offer validation and a sense of camaraderie. When you feel that you are not alone, you may be less likely to react in anger during stressful situations.  

6. Get distance from the situation

When you feel angry or irritated, try to take a break and distance yourself from the situation. You might go to the bathroom and close the door or go to your car and sit for a few minutes. If you're at work, consider focusing on the task at hand and taking a break as soon as you can get a few minutes away from your job. 

While on your break, you might try to focus on your breathing to calm your thoughts. Sometimes, the simple act of getting distance from a stressful situation may reduce your physiological arousal and emotional intensity. 

7. Consider the underlying cause of your anger

Anger is sometimes a secondary emotion caused by an underlying need. Difficulty with anger management can sometimes pair with difficulty identifying emotional, psychological, social, or physical needs. You might take a break to ask yourself what you need and how you can fulfill that need. For example, you might consider whether your anger resulted from: 

• Sadness
• Fear
• Guilt
• Shame
• Disgust

Targeting the initial emotion may be more effective than targeting the anger if this is the case. Identifying and addressing the underlying cause may lead to less intense or less frequent anger, which can improve relationships and mental well-being. 

8. Try cognitive restructuring

Cognitive restructuring is a coping skill from cognitive-behavioral therapy that has been proven effective in helping individuals cope with anger. Restructuring your thoughts can involve acknowledging those that may be maladaptive and taking a moment to reframe them.

How you talk to yourself can impact the way you talk to others. When you tell yourself statements like "Everything is ruined," you might increase the likelihood of negative outcomes. To change the thought to a more productive, validating option, you might tell yourself, "This situation is upsetting, and it's understandable to be angry. However, I'm ready to find solutions." 

Cognitive restructuring may be difficult to establish as a skill on your own. Consider contacting a cognitive-behavioral therapist if you'd like to further explore how this skill might support you. With cognitive restructuring, you may find that you begin to recognize and manage triggering thoughts more effectively. 

9. Consider problem-solving

Some people feel angry when they feel out of control of a situation. If you can pinpoint a problem that caused you to feel angry, you might try to change your focus to a problem-solving lens. You can use the energy of your anger to consider what might put an end to the situation or make it less impactful. 

You might look at parts of the situation that are in your power instead of those that aren't. For example, if you're angry with your coworkers for removing your files by accident, remind yourself that mistakes can occur and that you have the option to back up files in the future. You can also work on forgiveness and cope with the frustration of redoing your work by using it as an opportunity to grow. With a problem-solving framework, you might find that you are less likely to lash out during moments of anger. 

10. Practice radical acceptance

If you're angry about a situation that is out of your control, you might benefit from a dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) skill called radical acceptance. Follow the below steps: 

1. Observe how you might be questioning or fighting your reality.
2. Remind yourself that your reality cannot be changed in this situation.
3. Try to note any causes for the reality. Acknowledge that many people do not have control over life's challenges but you can control how you proceed.
4. Practice acceptance with your mind, body, and spirit. Use positive self-talk to tell yourself you are willing to accept this situation, even if it is difficult.
5. List all the behaviors you'd engage in if you already accepted this situation. Then act this way until you find it aligns with your reality.
6. Cope ahead by thinking of ways to accept the situation if it worsens.
7. Attend to your body sensations using mindfulness or meditation to connect with yourself.
8. Allow disappointment, sadness, grief, or anger to arise if they do. Note them and do not act on them. Give them space to exist.
9. Acknowledge that life is worth living, even when there is anger. 
10. Create a pros and cons list if you are resisting acceptance further.

With radical acceptance, you may find that you are less likely to react in situations that are out of your control. 

11. Use humor

Humor is one way to diffuse anger in some scenarios. When you can find the humor in a situation and laugh about it, you might start to feel better. Laughing is known to relieve stress, which can correlate with anger. When you feel angry, your body may become tense. Laughter can cause a sensation of lightness or detachment from unwanted thoughts, which may prevent you from reacting to them in ways that harm your relationships. 

12. Establish readiness for anger management

One study suggests that if someone is not ready for anger management, they might struggle to find use from anger management techniques. One of the first steps can be accepting that your anger is an area you'd like to work on. Anger management concerns can be quite common, which means that you're not alone. Acceptance may lead to faster progress, which may help improve your relationships more quickly. 

When to seek help with anger from a mental health professional

If you’re experiencing frequent outbursts or if anger is causing relationship problems, you might consider speaking with a licensed counselor. Many licensed mental health professionals are qualified to help individuals develop coping mechanisms for behaviors motivated by complex emotional responses. A therapist can often help people identify and challenge inaccurate thoughts that lead to intense angry reactions. This may lead to greater control and improved relationships. 

Online therapy for anger management

Some people with anger challenges might hesitate to contact a therapist in person. They may feel shame about their situation or fear having an emotional outburst in front of others. An online therapeutic setting may offer a more comfortable alternative in these cases. With online therapy through a platform, you can choose between phone, video, or live chat sessions depending on your needs. In addition, you can use resources like worksheets or an in-app journal to document your feelings. 

You may worry that online anger management therapy won't alleviate your anger effectively. However, research shows that online therapeutic interventions can be effective for maladaptive anger. Online therapy can also be effective for anxiety and depression, which may lead to challenges with anger management.